


Sing Me to Sleep

by HeavenlyDisaster



Category: Gestalt - Fandom, Mystalt - Fandom, The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Confused Myfanwy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Other, Rock Star Gestalt, Self-Harm, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2020-09-24 08:48:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 92,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20355721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavenlyDisaster/pseuds/HeavenlyDisaster
Summary: Gestalt is a famous punk rock band routinely selling out stadiums.  Myfanwy has been their fan since she was a kid.  One night, an accident, and a whole slew of secrets pulls them together in powerful ways."Okay, this actually does need to continue.  I don't AU particularly, but I dig this.  I dig it a lot."- TwoLittleWishes"Friend, you are a gift to the fandom and our thirst trains."-Glitterfan"I'm frothing for the next bit of story."-JLKnox"Wow!! So much better than I was expecting!"- Pheobe





	1. Fancy Meeting You Here

**Author's Note:**

> This is all thanks to the Rook discord members! I hope you're happy with what you've done to me!

She had to remind herself that Ingrid meant well. As much as Myfanwy insisted that she enjoyed her solitary lifestyle, her one and only friend insisted she needed to get out more. Her exact words had been, “You’re so uptight, Myf, you really need to get laid.”

“You should wear the blue.”

Myfanwy spun around on her heel and narrowed her eyes at her little sister. Honestly, Myfanwy wouldn’t be surprised to find out she was in league with the mob. She had her suspicions. Government spy didn’t seem likely, but then again who knew?

“I thought I confiscated your key.”

Bronwyn moseyed further into her bedroom and sat down amidst the discarded clothing strewn across her bed. Myfanwy stripped out of the grey and white striped shirt she had on and traded it for the suggested blue silk blouse.

“C’mon, Myf, you know me better than that.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes and dug through the bottom of her closet for shoes to go with her ensemble. “Is there a reason for this visit?”

Bronwyn shrugged and picked up a plain black shirt. She frowned at it like it offended her. Of course, it probably did. Nondescript, business casual was Bronwyn’s enemy when it came to fashion. 

“It’s your birthday. I was going to get a cake and everything, but Ingrid told me she’s taking you to a concert.” She nodded at the framed band poster hanging on Myfanwy’s wall. The four platinum blondes stared back at them fiercely. “Gestalt. You must be thrilled.”

“Why would I be?”

Bronwyn rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Myf, you’ve been in love with that band since you were sixteen. Used to say they ‘spoke to your soul.’” Bronwyn snickered. “I always thought it was just because you related everything they said to your EVA.” She sighed heavily. “And now you get to see all that black leather and guyliner up close and personal.”

Myfanwy dropped the strapped heels she was holding and fixed her little sister with a mean stare. Bronwyn held up her hands in mock surrender.

“Yeah, yeah. You don’t want to talk about your powers.” She plucked at the comforter beneath her. “You know, there are people you could go to for help controlling it. Good people.”

Myfanwy scoffed. “Good people. How long before those ‘good people’ started using me to hurt others? That’s all it’s good for.”

She fixed her shoes to her feet and went for the door. She stopped and looked at Bronwyn still sitting on her bed. Myfanwy rolled her eyes and huffed in irritation.

“Let’s go. I have to meet Ingrid at the station in ten minutes.”

She shooed Bronwyn out of her apartment and locked the door. When she turned around Bronwyn was already halfway down the stairs. Myfanwy cursed under her breath and hurried after her.

“Bronwyn, my key.” She ordered holding out her hand.

Her sister rolled her eyes and dug into her pocket for a single key. Myfanwy snatched it out of her hand and used it to point at Bronwyn for emphasis.

“No more copies. No more dropping by unannounced.”

Bronwyn rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t you have a concert to get to?”

The concert venue was small. Tickets had sold out practically overnight. Myfanwy was amazed Ingrid had managed to get them at all. It was one of the main reasons she had agreed to go. That and the assurance that it wouldn’t be a packed stadium or days’ long festival.

She had convinced herself that she could stomach a few hours in a cramped bar to listen to her favorite band on her birthday. Even monsters deserved fun sometimes, right? At least, that’s what she told herself as she ordered another gin martini and chatted to Ingrid while the opening band warmed up the crowd.

They weren’t worried about the crowd. Ingrid always had the best seat in the house wherever they went. Right up front. And Myfanwy was always right next to her. Ingrid liked to joke that it was one of the perks to being without the use of her legs. Although she claimed her superpower was being underestimated. 

The opening act finished their set and disappeared backstage. Ingrid tipped her head toward the stage and started wheeling herself expertly through the crowd. Myfanwy trailed after working to tame the thrumming of her heart. They were so close to the stage that if she reached out her hand she could touch it.

“Be honest, Myf,” Ingrid called over the fray, “are you having fun?”

She thought she might be. If she wasn’t worried so constantly about accidentally accessing her power and hurting and/or killing everyone in the room at any given moment. She hadn’t let herself have any real fun since she’d unlocked her powers when she was fourteen. She couldn’t risk it.

The lights dimmed before she had to answer and the room erupted into applause. Myfanwy smiled at Ingrid reassuringly before turning her attention to the stage. The room went pitch black for just a minute. The only lights were the running lights behind the bar. When they came back up, all four Gestalt siblings were already on stage like they’d been there the whole time.

The applause switched to frantic screaming. Diehard fans screamed at their preferred band members.

“Alex! I wanna have your baby!” A girl screeched.

“Eliza! I love you, Eliza!”

“You’re beautiful, Robert!”

“Teddy! Teddy!”

Myfanwy smiled and kept her own lustful thoughts to herself. The first song started up at once. Eliza’s gorgeous voice shifted back and forth from a delicate lilt to a low near growl for the verses and chorus. Myfanwy was grinning in spite of herself. She’d never thought being at a concert would be any different from listening to a CD or record. She was now seeing how just how wrong she was.

They finished the first song and the bar became deafening with the sound of applause. Eliza smiled confidently and held her microphone with both hands.

“Hello, London!” She called. The crowd cheered back wildly. “Are you having a good time?” Myfanwy cheered with them this time. She glanced down and saw Ingrid smiling up at her knowingly. Myfanwy blushed and looked down at her feet.

“I can’t hear you!” Eliza lied. The bar cheered again nonetheless. Eliza turned to her brothers. “Robert? Can you hear them?” Robert frowned and shook his head. The crowd cheered louder. “Teddy?” Teddy shrugged and smirked out at the crowd. They screamed again. “Alex? Can you hear them all the way back there?”

‘All the way back there’ was only about three feet from where Eliza was standing. Alex cupped his hands behind his ears, still holding onto his drumsticks. The bar went wild. Eliza turned back around giggling.

“Alright, alright. We’re going to play a song for you we haven’t played in concert in nearly a decade. This is off our debut album, _The Hive_. Are all our little Hive Minds ready?”

More cheering.

The music started up and Myfanwy recognized the song at once. _Un-Whole_. Myfanwy blinked hard as the stage lights flashed across her eyes. She blinked back the reactionary tears to being temporarily blinded.

“_We’re not whole unless we’re together. Untamed, I’m stormy weather.”_ Eliza crooned.

Myfanwy was so entranced by Eliza that she didn’t notice the staring at first. She blinked hard and let her eyes roam the stage, flitting between the four siblings. When she got to Robert, standing maybe a foot away from her, he was staring down straight into her eyes. Myfanwy’s breath caught in her throat.

The contact felt like it lasted years when it was really less than five seconds. She felt a slight tingle in her fingers when he looked away. The desire to turn him back around to face her. But then it was Alex staring at her and the tingle didn’t go away.

One song drifted into the next and Myfanwy managed to shake the obsessive feelings from her mind and just enjoy the music. She shut her eyes to avoid any further incidences. She stayed like that, one hand on the back of Ingrid’s chair to keep herself grounded as she swayed to the music.

The opening bars for their next song had Myfanwy’s eyes snapping open again. It was her favorite. _Four hearts, one mind_. Her mouth parted slightly as she listened to Eliza sing the opening lines. When they reached the chorus, Myfanwy’s eyes flicked back to Robert’s.

Her heart swooped in her chest when she found his eyes on her again. He held her stare as he sang the chorus with his siblings. “_Four hearts, one mind. I’m yours and you’re mine. One day and all night. So bad but it feels right.”_

Myfanwy couldn’t remember how to breathe. She felt the electricity crackling through the air, but she couldn’t remember how to stop it. She couldn’t be bothered to try. It felt like she’d somehow left her body. She was somewhere else, watching the exchange from a distance.

There was a pop and the lights all went out at once. Even the bar lights. The crowd screamed again, this time in terror rather than excitement. Myfanwy’s stomach flipped. She’d done that. She could still feel the strange electricity charging the air around her. Her worst nightmare was coming true.

She took advantage of the sudden darkness. She moved through the scrambling crowd and made for the first door she could find. The cries of the crowd became muted as she closed the door to the main bar. She took a slow breath, trying to stop her power from going out of control. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t working.

She heard footsteps behind her along with frantic voices. Myfanwy hurried down the hallway, her hands to the wall looking for a door in the dark. At last, she found one. She twisted the handle and sighed when it opened without resistance. She ducked inside and shut the door behind her.

Alone at last, Myfanwy sank to the floor and curled her legs up to her chin. She worked at calming herself back down. She’d known it would be a bad idea to go somewhere so overwhelming. Strong feelings always brought out her EVA. Something she usually avoided at all cost.

She heard voices out in the hall. Muffled, but coming closer. Her stomach twisted in fear. She moved further back into the room. Larger than she initially thought. She felt around until she found a rack of what must have been clothes. The door handle turned and Myfanwy dove behind the rack and curled back up as small as she could make herself.

“Apparently all the fuses blew. Even the ones on the backup generator.” A man announced with no shortage of irritation.

“You think it was an EVA?”

Myfanwy’s heart stopped. That was Teddy’s voice. Teddy _Gestalt_. Rock star. She was in the same room as _Teddy Gestalt_!

She gave herself a small shake. She’d been in the same room as all four Gestalt’s not five minutes earlier. She tried to breathe more quietly. The last thing she needed was to get herself arrested for trespassing. Or humiliate herself in front of her idols and whoever it was Teddy was talking to.

“An unregistered EVA? Just happened to come to a Gestalt concert?” The first voice challenged.

“I’m very popular,” Eliza said.

“With people of all backgrounds,” Alex added.

“And who’s to say they’re unregistered?” All four of them said in perfect harmony.

_That’s weird_. Myfanwy thought. She reasoned that not only were they all siblings, and quadruplets no less, but they also spent almost every waking moment together.

“We vet every audience member before the shows for exactly this purpose! You remember what happened in Glasgow.”

Myfanwy peeked out from between the hanging clothes. Someone had a flashlight and was swinging it back and forth as they spoke. She couldn’t be sure, but it looked like their manager. 

“That was a little girl, Conrad. She just got excited.”

“I wasn’t hurt that badly.”

“And you had her shipped off to Glengrove anyway.”

“You know how I feel about that place.”

Myfanwy remembered the incident they were talking about. It had been all over the news when she was seventeen. A fourteen year old girl had been watching Gestalt perform at a music festival in Glasgow and had set fire to the stage. Myfanwy remembered everything about the accident. That was exactly why she found it so strange that Eliza remarked on her injuries when it had been Alex that wound up in the hospital.

“Besides, Conrad, I’m technically an unregistered EVA.”

Myfanwy felt her mouth run dry. _The Gestalt are EVAs? All of them? What are their powers? Musical abilities? Songwriting? Being ridiculously good looking?_

Conrad groaned and changed the subject. “The car will be here in a few minutes to take you home. I have to go talk to the bar manager about this whole mess.”

“Fans are going to be upset.”

“I barely played five songs.”

“Four and a half,” they all said together.

Myfanwy was intrigued by the way they all finished each other’s sentences like that. Like they were one person instead of four. Myfanwy could laugh at herself for the idiocy of that idea. _Maybe mindreading is their EVA_. _What a horrifying thought._

“Out back in seven minutes,” Conrad said. “Try not to let anyone see you go.”

Teddy had another flashlight. She watched him twirling it between his fingers. Just like Alex did with his drumsticks. The room was quiet. Strangely so. She would have thought they would want to discuss the strange goings on of their show. Maybe comment on the set list to each other.

They must have sat in that strange silence for five minutes without a word. Myfanwy was almost home free. They would leave and be none the wiser to her accidental intrusion. So close. If only it weren’t so dusty. She might not have sneezed.

The beam of the flashlight whipped around in her direction. She knew she was caught. While the clothing rack worked flawlessly in the dark, it wasn’t anywhere near secluded enough when a beam of light was directed at it.

“Who is that?” The Gestalt siblings called altogether.

Myfanwy squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her head. That did absolutely nothing to hide her any better. She heard someone pull the clothing rack away. The flashlight shone directly on her.

Hands grabbed her upper arms and hoisted her to her feet. Myfanwy felt her EVA stinging her fingertips. She took a calming breath and reminded herself of the danger she posed. She was _not_ about to kill her favorite band. She was _not_.

“You were in the front row,” Eliza remarked.

Myfanwy blushed. “Sorry. I’m so sorry. The… the lights went out and I wasn’t really thinking. I just hid.”

“What did you hear?” Teddy demanded.

“Nothing!”

“Don’t lie.”

“Are you a stalker?”

“No!” Myfanwy pulled against the hold Teddy and Robert had on her arms. “I swear! I thought this was just a closet when I ducked in here. I didn’t know it was your dressing room. Honest!”

Someone’s phone beeped. They didn’t look at it and they didn’t let her go. The flashlight was stinging her eyes. She didn’t think her cheeks had ever been so red.

“Come with me,” Teddy and Robert said together. Myfanwy didn’t miss the tiny flinch they made when they spoke together. Something they didn’t do when they were speaking to Conrad together.

Without waiting for any sort of answer from her, the Gestalt dragged her out of the dressing room and down the dark hallway. It was empty. The cheering of the crowd had died out. She didn’t remember to struggle until they opened the back door and she felt the cold snap of the night air on her bare arms.

“Hold on! Where are you taking me?” _Glengrove? Please no!_

A woman walked around a black limousine stopping at the hood when she saw Myfanwy. She frowned. “Who’s this?”

“No one you need to worry about.”

“I worry about everything. That’s my job.”

“No,” Alex retorted, “You’re job is to watch my back. This I have covered.”

Alex pulled open the back door of the limousine and Teddy and Robert shoved her inside. The four of them were inside before Myfanwy had the chance to right herself on the bench seat. That was when she saw her purse in Eliza’s hands.

“Hey! Give that back!” She could’ve been speaking Greek for all it did her.

Eliza pulled her driver’s license out of her wallet and squinted down at it. Myfanwy debated lunging over to grab her things away from her.

“How do you say your name?” Robert asked as the car started to move.

“Myfanwy,” she answered, “like Tiffany.”

“Myfanwy,” Eliza murmured.

Her name coming from Eliza’s lips made Myfanwy blush. She curled her hands into fists on her lap and stared at her knees. Robert was sitting directly across from her. Occasionally his knees would bump against hers. Each time this happened, Myfanwy’s fingertips would sting with the spark of her EVA.

“My friend, Ingrid, will be looking for me.” None of them seemed bothered the notion. “She’ll go to the cops. It’d be really bad for your image if any of you get arrested for kidnapping. I’m sure your manager would have a field day trying to sort that out. And I don’t think you –”

“Stop talking,” they all said at once.

Myfanwy gritted her teeth together and looked out the window. She’d heard stories about Glengrove. The EVA assimilation academy. Where they sent kids with special abilities and then trained them to do whatever heinous thing they could think to do with their abilities. Myfanwy was unregistered for a reason. There were only two people alive that knew about her EVA. Ingrid and her sister.

They hadn’t left the city yet. It didn’t look like they planned to either. She wondered again where it was they were taking her. She looked back at the rock stars. All four were staring at the floor chewing their right thumbnail. It was only about the hundredth odd thing she’d seen them do.

The limo pulled into a parking garage and stopped in front of an elevator. Eliza pushed the door open and climbed out followed by Robert. Alex and Teddy grabbed for Myfanwy and pushed her toward the open door. As soon as she was standing again, Teddy and Robert’s hands closed around her upper arms again and they dragged her toward the elevator while the limo drove away.

“This whole silent abductors thing is getting kind of old, don’t you think?” Myfanwy tried as they entered the elevator. “I already told you I didn’t hear anything. Even if I did, it’s not like I’d repeat any of it to anyone. Or that anyone would listen if I did.”

“So you did hear something,” Alex said decidedly.

“I said _if_ I heard anything I wouldn’t repeat it.”

“You are strangely calm for someone in your position,” Eliza mused.

“Kidnap fans often, then?” She quipped.

“Why are you so calm?”

Myfanwy gritted her teeth. “I already lost control once this evening. I’m determined not to do it again. Still, believe me when I say I am anything but calm.”

“Lost control?”

“Is that when you took advantage of a power outage to hide in my dressing room?”

“And spy on my conversation with my manager?”

“What was your plan?”

Myfanwy looked between them all. She wrinkled her brow. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” They all said at once.

“That!” She took a step back toward the elevator doors. “You all speak in the first person even when you’re referring to each other. It’s….” Myfanwy couldn’t decide on the right word to describe it so she finished with a shrug.

Teddy took a phone out of his tight, leather pants and made a call. 

“Why don’t you have a seat?” Eliza suggested, unusually polite for a kidnapper.

“I’d rather go home, if you don’t mind.” Myfanwy tried on a whim.

Eliza smiled sweetly. “Soon. I promise. For now, could you please take a seat?”

Myfanwy’s hand twitched for the elevator control panel, but Alex was between her and it. She sighed and dragged herself over to the large, grey couch that was bigger than her whole living room. 

“Would you like something to drink?”

Myfanwy crossed her arms over her chest and sank down into the couch. She was completely outnumbered and she didn’t like it one bit. She chewed the inside of her cheek. All right. Maybe she liked it a bit. But that just went back to her stupid teenage fantasies. This whole sick affair was teenage Myfanwy’s wet dream.

Teddy hung up the phone and all four Gestalts came to join her on the couch. A few minutes later the elevator door opened and the woman from the limousine stepped into the penthouse. She looked at the five of them on the couch and narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

“Well, your clothes are all still on. I guess that’s good. I was worried it was going to be some weird sex thing.” She opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

“Funny, Monica,” Teddy said in a tone that sounded like he didn’t find it funny at all.

Monica snickered to herself and sat on one of the four barstools at the kitchen island. Myfanwy could actually use a drink. She was parched. But her hosts had already offered and she hadn’t replied. She would just have to deal with it until she got home. If she ever got home.

The elevator doors opened ten minutes later. Myfanwy recognized the man from the dressing room. Conrad. He looked angry.

“Hiding in your dressing room? You see? This is why we need more security than just Monica!” He raved as he stalked toward the couch. “No offense, Monica.”

“Some taken.”

Conrad sighed and rolled his eyes at her. He turned back to the couch and settled his hard stare on Myfanwy.

“Megan Thomas, you said?”

“Myfanwy,” the Gestalt siblings all said together.

Conrad nodded. “All right, Myfanwy. Why don’t you just take a deep breath and relax and maybe you can tell me exactly what you heard while you were spying on Gestalt.”

“I wasn’t spying!”

Conrad held up a hand. “Alright. Then just tell me what happened.”

“I lost control. Killed the lights in the whole damn bar. Lucky that was all that happened, suppose.” Myfanwy frowned. Why was she telling him that? She looked around at the six people in the room. Before that moment only two people in the world new she was an EVA. 

“The power outage was you? You’re an EVA?”

“Yes.” Myfanwy’s brow furrowed and she tried to look away from Conrad’s heavy stare. “Why am I telling you this? No one is supposed to know.”

“Relax. I just have a few more questions. Now, what did you hear in the dressing room?”

“You were speaking about the Glasgow festival. The fire. How you sent her to Glengrove. Then they said they were all EVAs and you left to talk to the bar manager.”

Conrad frowned. “And what do you plan to do with this information?”

“Nothing. I didn’t mean to hear it in the first place.”

Conrad broke eye contact and Myfanwy sagged against the couch. She felt like she’d just crawled her way through the desert. Her head was swimming.

“What was that?” She mumbled.

A bottle of water appeared in front of her face. Myfanwy grabbed it and drained the whole thing in less than a minute. She looked up to thank whoever had supplied her with the much needed hydration. Monica gave her a knowing smiled.

“Don’t mention it.”

Myfanwy nodded emptily.

“Give her a couple of minutes to get her bearings and take her home.” Conrad told Monica.

“I’ll drive her home,” Eliza offered. But it was Robert who pulled her to her feet.

They didn’t get back in the limousine. Instead, Robert led her to a dark purple Mercedes. He opened the front passenger door for her before getting in himself. She was suddenly not so sure she wasn’t dead. Everything that was happening felt more like a fantasy than real life. _Robert Gestalt taking me home? As if that would _ever _happen_.

It didn’t occur to her to question his sure path through the city until they pulled to a stop in front of her flat and cut the engine. She started to unbuckle her seatbelt when she paused.

“How did you know where I live?” She asked.

Robert smiled at her and she felt her brain turn to goo in her skull. “The same way I know that today is your birthday.”

Myfanwy’s eyes popped out of her head. “So you _can_ read minds?” She screeched in alarm.

Robert laughed softly. “No. It’s on your driver’s license.”

Myfanwy looked at her purse on her lap. She hadn’t even remembered them handing it back to her. She blushed and averted her eyes sheepishly. “Oh.”

“What _is_ your EVA exactly?” Robert asked suddenly.

Myfanwy flinched. She hated questions about her EVA almost as much as she hated her EVA. 

“You don’t have to tell me. I was just curious.”

Curious. She understood that. She was curious, too. She took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

Robert arched an eyebrow at her. A playful smile toyed at his lips. “I would’ve thought that was obvious by now. I’m afraid I don’t do a very good job hiding it when I’m not on a stage or in front of a camera. Honestly, I don’t do that great of a job hiding it in general. It’s a good thing no one’s ever looked too closely at my lyrics.”

Myfanwy furrowed her brow as she tried to think about what he was talking about. He laughed again at her expression of deep concentration. Myfanwy blushed deep red.

“Tell you what, if you figure it out give me a call and I’ll give you a surprise. Call it a birthday present.”

Myfanwy frowned. “You don’t normally have to work for birthday presents.”

Robert grinned at her easily. “Then I guess it’s going to have to be a very good present.”

Myfanwy nodded drunkenly and fumbled for the door handle. Robert jumped out of the driver’s seat and rounded the car to pull the door open for her. Myfanwy murmured her thanks as she fumbled for her keys in her purse. Robert took them from her and used them to open the front door of her building. He held that door open for her, too.

For a panicked second she thought he intended to come up to her flat with her. She almost breathed a sigh of relief when he dropped her keys back in her hand. 

“Thank you.” She managed.

Robert smiled again and leaned forward pressing a kiss to her bright pink cheek. “Happy birthday, Myfanwy Thomas.”

Then, he got back in his car and drove away as if he hadn’t just turned her whole body to jelly.


	2. Figure It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy tries to get on with her life post-Gestalt. A mysterious stranger appears on her doorstep.

It took Myfanwy all of ten minutes to convince herself she had dreamed it all. There was a whole list of impossible occurrences. First and foremost being that any of the Gestalt were secret EVAs let alone all of them. And there was absolutely no way she ever stepped foot inside their penthouse. Or that Robert Gestalt had kissed her cheek and asked her to call him.

She didn’t even have his _number_. 

Her phone rang then making her jump. She checked the caller I.D. to see Ingrid’s cherubic face beaming at her. She cursed herself. How had she managed to forget her best and only friend so entirely? It was selfish. It was cruel.

“Hey, Ingrid.”

“Myf! Where the hell have you been? I’ve been out of my head with worry!” Ingrid cried into the phone.

Myfanwy dropped her purse on her kitchen counter and stepped out of her shoes. She was tired. That was one thing that hadn’t gone away. Ever since that manager guy, Collin? Connor? Conrad? Ever since he’d spoken to her she felt less like a person and more like a loose collection of atoms all being pulled down to the earth.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just… I lost control a bit. I lost my head. But I’m fine. I’m at home now. Don’t worry. Did you make it home alright?”

She heard Ingrid’s heavy sigh crackle through the phone. “I’m home. Er, but, Myf, when I couldn’t find you after the lights went out I panicked.”

“Yeah, again, sorry about that. I didn’t mean to worry you. Honestly I had a good time.” Myfanwy pulled down a glass from her cabinet and filled it with tap water. She didn’t think she’d ever feel hydrated again.

“That’s good, Myf. I’m glad, but that’s not what I was getting at….”

Ingrid went quiet on the line. Myfanwy frowned and checked that she hadn’t lost the connection. Her phone was at full service.

“Ingrid?”

“I called your sister,” she blurted.

Myfanwy felt her whole body lock up. She gritted her teeth. “You what?”

“Look, I know you two have your differences, but I was really concerned. I assumed it had been you with the lights and I thought if anyone had noticed they might have taken you. You know EVA trafficking is a billion dollar industry. And Bron has, I dunno, connections?”

Myfanwy was so livid she couldn’t see straight. “Thanks, Ingrid. I’ll talk to you on Monday.”

“What’re you going to do?”

Myfanwy huffed. “Try to catch my sister _before_ I have to bail her out of jail. Again.”

“I’m really sorry, Myf. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Monday, Ingrid.” Myfanwy hung up before Ingrid could apologize any more. 

There were only four contacts in her phone. Two of which were for work. Technically three if she counted Ingrid in the work category. Her thumb hovered over her sister’s name when she noted that her contact list was actually longer now. She scrolled down to the G’s and nearly dropped her phone.

All four Gestalt phone numbers were saved into her phone complete with contact photos. _When did they have time to do that?_ She pressed Eliza’s name and pulled up her contact information. The number looked real. It only made the temptation to press send all the stronger.

Her door opened behind her and Myfanwy jumped out of her skin. Bronwyn came in like a storm. Her eyes were wild. Her dreadlocks swung out as she moved. She stopped when she caught sight of Myfanwy.

“Oh thank God!” Bronwyn cried. Her sister sprang forward and pulled Myfanwy into a tight embrace.

“How the hell did you get in here?” Myfanwy demanded without hugging her back.

Bronwyn let go and rolled her eyes. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? Ingrid’s been no help. You disappeared from a crowded bar in the middle of a concert while she was right next to you? How does that even happen? Honestly.”

“The lights went out. No one could see a thing.”

Bronwyn grabbed a beer out of her fridge and popped the top. Myfanwy pushed her hands over her face and groaned. She just knew her little sister was going to insist on staying with her and talking through every minute of the night with her. She was impossible.

“Tell me what happened. Ingrid said you shorted the power? What? In the whole bar?” Myfanwy shrugged and looked toward her bedroom. She just wanted to sleep. “Impressive.”

Bronwyn needled her relentlessly for any tidbit of information she could get Myfanwy to give up. She had learned tricks to distracting her sister long ago so she managed to keep the most important bits secret. No tales of being swept away to the Gestalts’ penthouse suite. No mention of their unknown EVAs. She kept it strictly in the ‘real world’ at least as close as she could tell it.

She spent most of Sunday unconscious. By the time Monday rolled around she felt almost human again. And she had completely forgotten the four impossible phone numbers somehow saved in her contacts list. She moved through the week growing more and more normal with each passing day.

It was Friday before she knew it. Two hours until she was home free for the weekend. She had already told Ingrid she had absolutely zero intentions of going anywhere that weekend. With what had happened last Saturday, Ingrid didn’t argue for once.

“Myfanwy.” She looked up to see Linda Farrier standing in her office. “I’m on my way home for the weekend. I just wanted to remind you about the meeting on Monday. You have the reports all ready I presume?”

Myfanwy looked down at the multitudinous files scattered over her desk. “Yes! They are here… somewhere. I just had them. They’ll be ready to go first thing Monday.”

“Good. Have a good weekend, then.”

She blew through quitting time finalizing the reports and rechecking the data. She hardly noticed when Ingrid left for the night. Satisfied, Myfanwy locked the account files away in her desk and put on her coat to leave.

It was early spring, but the weather still felt like winter most nights. There was an odd quiet to the parking lot as she hurried to her car. She pulled her keys out of her pocket and held them between her knuckles. She didn’t need them. Anyone who attacked her was in twice as much danger as she was. Still, it made her feel secure.

The parking garage for her building was behind it which meant she had to walk around the corner to get to the door. She didn’t mind the walk usually. Tonight she felt strange. Like she was being watched. 

As she rounded the building she noticed a man standing near the door. He was in an all-black track suit with a hooded coat on concealing his face. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his head was down. Every alarm bell in her head started ringing.

She didn’t want to go to the door. He was standing too close. If he wanted to, he could grab her and drag her down the alley. Or he could wait until she had the door unlocked and followed her in. Her EVA sparked in her fingers. She took a steadying breath, looked straight ahead, and walked with confidence past her front door.

“Myfanwy?” The man called.

She stopped in her tracks. _How does he know my name? Is he stalking me?_ She wasn’t going to turn around. She was going to keep walking just as calmly and confidently. She was going to pretend she didn’t hear him. Whoever he was.

“Oh, hold on. I know what this looks like. Believe me, I wasn’t going to do it. I told myself to be patient and just wait for your call. But it’s been almost a week.”

Myfanwy stopped again. His voice sounded familiar. She turned slowly. Her EVA was electric in her hands. Ready to protect her. She looked at the hooded stranger and felt the air whoosh out of her lungs. Alex Gestalt? 

“Hi?” Myfanwy managed.

Alex gave her an amused smile and took a step back from her. His shoulders were hunched up and he kept ducking his head. 

“So did you lose your phone?” He asked.

“Um, what?”

A group of teenagers came careening by then, whooping and hollering gleefully. Alex ducked his head down lower and pulled at his hood to conceal his face. Myfanwy felt stupid for not realizing sooner. Of course he would need to hide his appearance. He was a famous musician. His platinum blonde hair alone would have a swarm of fans surrounding him in seconds.

“Did you want to go inside?” Myfanwy offered. She flushed immediately after saying it. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a man to her apartment. Or anyone other than Bronwyn and Ingrid.

Alex let out a light laugh. “I don’t suppose I could talk you into coming back to mine? Could I?”

Myfanwy stared at him blankly for a full five seconds. She blinked. “Back to your place? Now?”

Alex looked down and pulled at his ear inside his hood. “It’s alright. It was just a suggestion. I’m not going to kidnap you again or anything.”

“Alright.” Myfanwy didn’t think he would anyhow. She had already made it clear that she had no intentions of telling anyone what she had heard that night. 

“Alright?” Alex looked up at her with reserved excitement. He dropped his hand back to his side and cocked his head at a car parked on the street. 

“Oh.” Myfanwy stared at the red Tesla. Amazing she hadn’t noticed it before. Not that she would have scared out of her mind as she had been. “You meant….”

Alex’s excitement died back down. Myfanwy took a step toward the car. Alex hurried around her and pulled the door open. He waited until she was seated comfortably before shutting her door and going around to get in the driver’s seat.

“I noticed a distinct lack of tabloid articles about Gestalt being secret EVAs.”

Myfanwy glanced over at him and quickly away. “I told you I had no interest in giving away any secrets.” 

Alex nodded. He pushed the hood down on his coat and his curly hair sprang free. Myfanwy wanted nothing more than to touch his curls. She distracted herself with the dashboard instead. An easy feat. She’d never been in a car so futuristic. Her own Mini Cooper was practically a relic. It was the first and only car she ever owned. She hadn’t needed one, but it was convenient.

“How did you get all your numbers into my phone?” She asked after the silence became too stifling for her to bare.

“Your passcode is your birthday. Pretty easy after that.”

Myfanwy found herself annoyed. “None of you have any idea of personal space, do you?” She demanded.

Alex looked at her curiously.

“I suppose that’s the result of more than a decade of stardom,” she sighed.

Alex pulled the car into the garage and parked next to Robert’s deep purple Mercedes. She blushed as she remembered the conversation she’d had with him that night. The feel of his lips and stubble on her cheek as he left. Her brow wrinkled as they made their way to the elevator.

“You never asked me to call you.”

Alex looked down at her as they stepped into the lift and arched a brow. “I did say if you ever figured out my EVA, so I suppose that’s true. I didn’t expect you to keep to it, though.”

Myfanwy was shaking her head before he finished. “No. That was Robert that said that to me. It was Robert who dropped me off last Saturday.”

Alex shrugged as if that were a minor detail and held no real importance. Not for the first time, Myfanwy wondered just what she had gotten herself mixed up in. The elevator doors opened and Alex held out his arm signaling for her to go first.

The penthouse was just as big as she remembered it. Now, she took the time to really look it over. The whole split level flat was open concept. The kitchen bled into the living area. Huge, floor-to-ceiling windows covered the entire outer wall. Wide stairways led up to the second level where Myfanwy could just spy one absolutely monstrous bed. 

That made her frown. She had assumed all the Gestalts had lived together. At least, that was the impression they had given her the last time she was there. Although Alex _had_ invited her back to his place. Maybe his was just the closest flat. Then again, Robert’s Mercedes was in the parking garage.

“Would you like something to drink?” Myfanwy jumped in surprise. She turned to see Eliza standing in the kitchen.

“Sure.” 

_Odd_. She hadn’t expected the other Gestalts to make an appearance. She was quickly learning there was not much she shouldn’t expect from the quadruplets. She wandered toward the stairs. Her curiosity was hard to rein in.

“Do you have a preference?” Eliza asked just as Myfanwy’s hand touched the banister.

She jerked her hand away and looked back at the gorgeous singer. She shook her head.

“Gin martini?” She offered.

“Sounds great.”

Eliza smiled at her easily and set to making the drink. Alex had moved across the flat to the windows, but his eyes were on her. She took a step up the stairs. When he didn’t immediately tell her to stay clear she continued up to what must have been the sleeping quarters.

She froze at the landing when she spied Teddy reclined in an armchair beside a bookshelf that took up an entire wall. He gave her his famous smirk. The one that made all the girls squeal. 

“Get a bit lost?” He teased.

Myfanwy flushed and turned back on her heel to go back down the stairs. She nearly trampled Eliza and knocked her down the stairs.

“Oh, God! I’m so sorry.”

Eliza smiled. “Don’t worry about it,” she said in unison with Teddy still in the armchair.

She looked between them. You’d think somebody else would have noticed how weird the siblings were during their decade of fame. Though it must be hard for anyone to look beyond their attractiveness.

Eliza held out a martini complete with two large green olives. Myfanwy accepted it with a thanks and took a deep drink. She followed Eliza back down the stairs.

She went to stand next to Alex by the windows. He was the one to invite her after all. He gave her his wide, easy smile. Myfanwy had no clue what to do next. She settled for attempting to drink the rest of her martini in one go.

She turned her eyes away and out the window as she did. That was when she noticed there was an attached balcony. A pool glowed on the far end. She choked on her drink as her eyes landed on Robert Gestalt sopping wet in nothing but swim shorts walking across the balcony. She spluttered and coughed and tried to get herself to breathe normally again.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked and she could hear the amusement in his voice. She wanted to die.

“I’m fine,” she gasped.

Eliza stopped in front of her holding out a hand towel. Myfanwy took it, smiling her thanks. Eliza looked just as amused as Alex sounded. Humiliating.

“Would you like to go for a swim?” Eliza asked sweetly.

For a second Myfanwy thought she was making fun of her. She’d drenched the front of her shirt with half her martini.

“It’s freezing out.”

“The pool’s heated. If it’s still too cold there’s also a hot tub.”

Alex took the mostly emptied martini glass from her hand walking toward the kitchen area. Myfanwy used the hand towel to hide her flaming cheeks.

“I, er, I haven’t got a swimming costume.”

“I’m sure I’ve got something here that’ll fit you,” Eliza assured her.

She had no other argument to fall back on. She nodded numbly and let Eliza lead her back up the stairs and into a large closet. All four Gestalts had carefully separated clothing areas, but it was still strange to see them all in one closet.

Eliza dug through a dresser at the back of the closet before holding out a baby blue bikini. The door to the closet was shut and she was eager to get the wet shirt off. She set the bikini on a dresser and pulled her shirt off. She’d just gotten to the clasp on her bra when she noticed the deer-in-headlights way Eliza was staring at her.

“Have I done something?” Myfanwy asked.

Eliza shook herself like she was pulling herself back to her body. Her fair cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. She was holding a bikini of her own. Powder pink. She slipped around Myfanwy without looking at her.

“I’ll just give you some privacy,” she murmured before shutting her in the closet.

Myfanwy finished getting dressed. There were a million strange things the Gestalts did. This certainly wouldn’t be the weirdest. She hesitated going out when she saw how noticeable her self-harm scars were. The bikini did fuck all to conceal them.

What was she going to do? Hide in the closet the rest of the night until they all went to sleep? Not bloody likely. She steeled herself and walked out of the closet.

Alex, Teddy, and Eliza were all in their own swimwear. Eliza must have changed in the bathroom though it wouldn’t have bothered Myfanwy if she’d just changed in the closet with her. Growing up with a sister like Bronwyn, modesty becomes an antiquated term as far as other girls were concerned.

Robert was in the kitchen when she came back down the steps. A towel was slung around his bare shoulders. His hair was wet and flopping into his face more than usual. She knew she was staring. She even knew she should _stop_ staring. She just couldn’t pull her eyes away. Not until he looked up directly into her eyes like he knew exactly what she was doing.

Robert smirked at her as he plucked a green olive out of the jaw and popped it in his mouth, staring at her the whole time. He moved around the kitchen island straight toward her. She tried to remember how to breathe.

“This way.” He directed her toward one of the windows that was turned sideways letting out into the balcony. Eliza, Teddy, and Alex waited until she was outside before following. 

“It’s a bit colder now,” Teddy said.

“We should probably stick to the hot tub,” Alex continued.

“Unless you plan on catching a cold,” Eliza finished.

It was a reminder of just how very outnumbered she was. Robert stepped down into the hot tub first. He turned and held his hand out for her. She took it, convincing herself he would believe the shaking was just from the cold air.

“Tell me, Myfanwy, have you figured me out yet?” Eliza asked. She was sitting directly across from her.

“See, I don’t think you have,” Teddy continued, “else you wouldn’t have just started undressing in front of me.”

“Unless that was your plan,” Alex suggested. “I’ve seen that before.”

“Um, what?” Myfanwy looked around her at the four Gestalts.

“It’s a shame, really,” Robert murmured. He was so close his breath tickled her skin and sent goosebumps all over even with the heat of the hot tub. “I’ve already finished your birthday present.”

“Aren’t you curious?” Eliza challenged.

Myfanwy’s head was swimming. She stared down at the water as she tried to work through everything that had just been said. So much of it made absolutely no sense.

“Wait. I didn’t start undressing in front of you.” She stared at Teddy for a second. “And it was Robert in the car the other night, not Alex. And….” Myfanwy put her hand to her head as she muddled through all the hints and clues.

Robert took her wrist in his hand and gently pulled her hand away from her face so she’d look at them again.

“Do you understand now?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s Teddy or Alex.”

“Or Eliza or Robert.”

“It’s all me,” they said as one.

And then Myfanwy did understand.


	3. ...Loading....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy loses her cool and regrets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The biggest of THANKS to ChecquyGlitter on the Rookery Discord for help with the lyrics!!!!

Myfanwy was out of the hot tub faster than she could think things through. There was only one word going through her head. _Run run run run RUN! _She dashed back into the penthouse feeling like a character in a horror movie. And not the villain for once.

She was already in the elevator when she remembered she was wearing a bikini. Her clothes were still set on the dresser in their closet folded in a neat stack. The elevator opened into the parking garage.

“Shit.” Her purse was in the penthouse, too. Along with her keys, phone, and wallet. She turned around to go back up, but the elevator required a passcode to reach the penthouse that she didn’t know.

The adrenaline was wearing off. The cold, spring air bit at her exposed flesh. She clutched her arms and tried to create enough friction to keep her from freezing solid. If she didn’t plan on dying, she needed a plan.

The elevator dinged behind her. “Myfanwy?” Eliza’s sweet voice called gently.

But it wasn’t just Eliza calling her. It was all of them. All four.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it’d be such a big shock. I did tell you I wasn’t subtle about it.” Eliza stepped closer. “You must be freezing. I brought your coat and your purse. If you want to come back up and change into your clothes….”

“No,” Myfanwy said quickly. She turned and met Eliza’s eyes briefly before looking away. “Thank you, but I really just want to go home.”

She glanced back at Eliza’s face. It was contorted into such an expression of grief Myfanwy felt guilty. She took her coat from Eliza’s arm and slipped it on relieved at the warmth. Eliza held out her purse for her. Myfanwy was careful not to touch her hand as she took it.

Eliza had taken the time to change out of her own bikini. _Her? His? Their? _They were wearing skintight slacks and a nice, plaid duster. She was gorgeous. Myfanwy looked away.

“I could drive you home then?”

Myfanwy shook her head. “It’s fine, really, I can take the tube.”

Eliza frowned. “It’s one in the morning. You don’t really think I can just let you go off on your own. Especially dressed like that.” She gestured to Myfanwy’s sparse clothing. Her feet were still bare.

“I can more than handle myself.”

Eliza frowned. “What? Because you can turn off a few lights without using a switch? That won’t do much to deter would be rapists.”

Myfanwy frowned. She was used to being underestimated. In fact, it was her preference. Underestimate her just never make her confront what she is.

A car pulled into the parking garage. A plain black sedan. It pulled to a stop beside them. Myfanwy took a small step back towards Eliza and the elevator. The known was safer than the unknown. The front passenger window rolled down and the woman from the week before leaned over.

“Hey, it’s you!” She grinned at Myfanwy. Her eyes dropped down her body then darted over to Eliza. “Ah, shit. You turned it into some weird sex thing, didn’t you?”

“Leave it, Monica,” Eliza hissed.

Monica cackled and hit the door locks on the car. “Get in, Thomas, I’ll get you away from those sex fiends.”

Eliza growled and Myfanwy was reminded of a Chihuahua. She moved forward and pulled the passenger door open for Myfanwy. 

Monica started off the second the door was shut much to Myfanwy’s relief. …And odd disappointment. She chewed the inside of her lip and stared at her bare feet on the floor of the car.

“So,” Monica started conversationally, “what did they do? Show you their Myfanwy Thomas shrine?”

“What?” Myfanwy’s heart dropped in fear. Maybe they really had been stalking her.

Monica laughed. “I’m kidding. They don’t have a shrine. …I don’t think.” Monica frowned for a moment before shaking herself. “They _have_ been talking about you almost nonstop all week. It’s completely annoying and sort of adorable.”

Myfanwy glanced at the woman. She wondered if it was the American-ness that made her so blasé. Or maybe she didn’t realize exactly what the Gestalts were. Myfanwy didn’t even know what they were. Only that they were all the same person. The same… something. 

“I will say it’s a first. You’re the first one they’ve let keep the Hive Mind secret. Grantchester is _not_ happy. He’s convinced you’re going to ruin everything for us, but you’re an EVA, too, right?”

Myfanwy tipped her head at the American. “You’re an EVA, too?”

“What? Did you think I became their singular bodyguard-slash-servant based on my pretty face?” Monica teased.

Myfanwy honestly hadn’t given it much thought. “What can you do?”

Monica shrugged. “Super strength. Like Hercules if Hercules was a chick.”

They pulled to a stop in front of her building. Myfanwy was ready for this night to be over. She was tired. She was cold. She was confused. She just needed a good night’s sleep and she was convinced she would start to make sense of things.

“Hey, Myfanwy,” Monica called, stopping her before she could get all the way out. Myfanwy turned back expectantly. “I don’t know what they said or did that set you off, but maybe just give them a chance to explain themselves. Their EVA hasn’t made any aspect of their life easy. I’m sure you can relate.”

Myfanwy nodded mutely and hurried into her building. She watched Monica speed away through the glass door. She’d been feeling guilty from the minute she’d jumped out of the hot tub. It was unfair to judge them on their EVA when she would hate to have it done to her.

She was a hypocrite. 

She took a hot shower when she got to her apartment and changed into the warmest clothes she had including her fleece lined socks. It didn’t help. She still felt like the worst shit in all of England. Ah, hell, might as well add in Wales and Scotland, too. 

Myfanwy wanted to call them and apologize. Explain that she was… scared? Surprised? Horrified? She shook her head. She couldn’t explain herself in any way that would make her reaction less hurtful than it surely was. Besides, who would she call? Obviously it didn’t matter. Whichever Gestalt she called the same person would pick up no matter what. And at the same time, didn’t it matter? Wouldn’t they notice if she called a certain Gestalt over the others? Would they get offended?

Myfanwy dropped into her bed and tried desperately to sleep. To clear her head of all traces of Gestalt and just relax. She couldn’t and went without sleep instead.

She was about to call Eliza when she stopped and changed her mind. She stared at the four contacts in her phone. When she realized she probably looked like a crazy person, she stood up and put a kettle on. She left her phone on the coffee table to keep herself from staring at it while the water boiled.

Her ringtone shrieked through the apartment. Myfanwy fled the kitchen and lunged across her couch to snatch her phone up from where it rested on the coffee table. She slid too far and rolled onto the floor. She checked the I.D. and sighed.

“Morning, Ingrid,” Myfanwy greeted dejectedly.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. What’s going on?” Myfanwy’s thoughts went immediately back to Gestalt. If she kissed Eliza would the rest of them feel like they were kissing her, too? If one of the boys got hard, did the other two get hard, too? Did Eliza get wet? What if Eliza was turned on first? And if she slept with all four at once was that an orgy? Myfanwy blushed. She could honestly say she had never given a thought to having sex with multiple bodies at once. She had an awkward enough time with just one. Not that it wasn’t fun.

“Myfanwy? Did we get disconnected?” Ingrid called in her ear snapping her from her dirty thoughts.

“Hm? Sorry, I’m here.”

“Did you hear what I said?” She could hear the suspicion in Ingrid’s voice.

“Sorry. Could you say it again?”

“I said I received replacement tickets for the concert last week. I know you didn’t have a great time last weekend so I was just going to sell them. I thought I’d check with you before I did. They _are _still your favorite band and I know you were having fun before… well.”

Myfanwy’s brow furrowed. “You got replacement tickets?”

“Just came in the mail today.”

“But the last ones were nonrefundable, rain or shine tickets,” Myfanwy pointed out. She remembered because that was another reason why she had stiffened her lip and gone when Ingrid had sprung them on her.

“Maybe they felt bad about how short the show was cut. They only played, what, three songs?”

“Four and a half,” Myfanwy corrected automatically.

“Right, well, these are center stage, front row ticket. I could pay two months’ rent selling these. Unless you want to go?”

Myfanwy chewed at her nails absently. Her head was running a mile a minute. There was no way the venue or the box office just decided to not only send Ingrid replacement tickets, but also upgrade them. It was dangerous, but she didn’t think she’d lose control like she had at the bar. Not again.

“When is it?”

“Friday night. Doors open at seven.” Ingrid paused. Myfanwy could almost hear her thinking. “Does that mean you want to go?” The hopefulness in Ingrid’s voice made her feel like a bad friend. She should go out with her more. They always stayed in.

“Friday night. We’ll leave from work,” Myfanwy agreed.

Hopefully by then Myfanwy could figure out just what to say to Gestalt. 

The phrase ‘time is a construct’ held no meaning before that week. Somehow it simultaneously flew by and dragged on all at once. More than once she had nearly broken down and just called them. She hadn’t figured out her excuses or explanations and she wasn’t a great fan of winging it.

By the time Friday rolled around Myfanwy could admit she had been procrastinating. She settled on wearing her best work outfit. They wouldn’t have time to stop at home before the concert so they’d just go in whatever they wore to work. Too bad her work clothes were all neutral colors. Nothing that made her stand out. Something she craved ninety-nine percent of the time.

But she wanted Gestalt to see her.

Ingrid was grinning ear to ear all day. Myfanwy had to tune her out to work on her reports. Still, the thoughts of Gestalt kept shoving their way into her head. The way they’d all looked in their swimwear. More like models than rock stars. All complete gorgeous and out of this world.

The concert was in a stadium this time. Thousands of people instead of a couple hundred. Myfanwy hadn’t been nervous before. She was confident she’d be able to keep her cool this time if Gestalt looked at her. But the other people? All it took was one drunken buffoon grabbing onto her and she’d be exposed.

They had the same opening band as they had at the bar. Ingrid sat between the seats and the railing. Her seat was turned away from the stage so she could talk to Myfanwy. She knew Ingrid was worried. It was obvious in the way she kept eyeing her. Myfanwy wished she’d be able to assure her that nothing bad would happen without a doubt.

“Just let me know if you start feeling… uneasy. We can leave anytime you want.” The openers had finished their set and now Ingrid was completely focused on Myfanwy.

“Really, Ingrid, I’m fine. Just enjoy the show.”

“And I won’t call your sister if you disappear, but _please_ try to remember to call me so I don’t worry.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

The lights in the stadium went dark and Myfanwy’s heart leapt into her throat. She felt a chill shoot through her whole body. The lights went up and, just like before, Gestalt was on stage like they had never left.

She was front and center, but she had been closer at the bar. There she’d only had to reach out to touch the stage. Here, there was a rail that held the crowd back a safe three feet. The stage was also twice as tall as the stage at the bar. They played through their opening song and greeted the crowd just like normal. Like they were all different people instead of one.

The concert continued and Gestalt seemed entirely focused on the music. Never once did their eyes meet. Myfanwy didn’t think she’d ever felt more disappointed. The last time she’d seen them they’d all been half naked. All eight of their eyes had been focused only on her. She really hoped she hadn’t ruined everything.

“Alright, Hive Minds, we have a very special treat for you all tonight. For our very last song of the evening, we have a brand new song we just wrote. We haven’t even been in the studio yet so you’re going to be our test hive. How’s that sound?” Eliza was answered with a thunderous roar of approval.

Robert started playing the opening guitar. Eliza nodded her head a couple of times and cleared her throat. “This is called _Sparks_.”

Teddy and Alex fit in the drum and baseline. She wished they would look at her. She wanted them to know that she was there. That she was sorry. She’d overreacted.

_Didn’t know what I was missing_

_Never knew what I wanted_

_Til the moment I first laid eyes on you_

_Then sparks flew_

Myfanwy’s mouth fell open. It was softer than Gestalt’s usual music. Eliza was singing half an octave higher than she typically did. It was set nicely against Teddy and Robert’s low background singing.

_Stuck playing pretend_

_Trapped in the dark_

_All I had to do_

_Was find your spark_

Eliza turned her eyes to Teddy and they shared a grin. It was jarring knowing what Myfanwy knew. Gestalt was grinning at themselves. To anyone else it would look like two band members silently communicating about the crowd or the playing. Only Myfanwy knew the truth.

_It’s my new addiction_

_I’m desperate for your touch_

_You warm me from the inside out_

_Never wanted someone this much_

_You and your spark_

The song faded out and Eliza took a deep breath. She smiled widely at the crowd and bowed at the waist. She pointed at Teddy, Robert, and Alex in turn so they could take their own bows. Eliza brought the microphone back to her lips.

That was when she made eye contact with Myfanwy. Her heart stopped. 

Eliza smiled softer this time. “Happy birthday, Myfanwy.”

She couldn’t feel her face. The lights went out again and she dropped back into her seat. Ingrid was staring at her. 

“Myfanwy?” Ingrid frowned back at the stage where Gestalt had been standing mere minutes before. “How did Eliza know your name? And before you try lying to me, I saw her look right at you when she said happy birthday to you.”

Myfanwy nodded emptily. She didn’t know how to explain everything to Ingrid. She looked over at the backstage door. Two large men stood in front of it shoulder to shoulder. She didn’t know what to say to Ingrid, but she suddenly knew exactly what she needed to say to Gestalt.

She stood and practically sprinted to the security guards. They stared down at her with stern, no nonsense faces. “Hello, I need to get back there.” She decided to go with brazen confidence. It worked at work. The men glowered at her.

“If you don’t have a pass you don’t get backstage.”

Myfanwy grimaced. “Oh, look, what about Monica? Monica can vouch for me. Or Conrad.”

“Don’t know a Monica or a Conrad.”

Myfanwy frowned at them now. “You’re saying you don’t know Gestalt’s bodyguard and manager? At a Gestalt concert?”

“Myfanwy?”

Her head snapped to her left as Monica walked toward her and the goon squad. She smiled in relief. Monica didn’t smile back. She was more skeptical than happy. Unusual. Monica had been a bright ray of sunshine every other time she’d seen her.

“Monica! I need to see them. Please?” She was prepared to beg.

Monica twisted her mouth up in suspicion. Her stomach dropped. She hadn’t considered what they might have told their bodyguard about her. And if Monica hated them, would that mean they hated her, too? She turned away and spoke into a small microphone hanging from an earpiece. Whatever the answer was, Monica didn’t like it.

“Alright, let’s go.” She waved Myfanwy past the bodyguards and behind a thick, black curtain.

It was ten times noisier backstage than it had been when she’d blown the power at the bar. There were about a hundred people frantically winding up cords and pushing enormous speakers around. She dodged a young woman running by with a clipboard and hurried after Monica who wove through the chaos with ease.

They stopped outside a plain black door. There was no gold star with the name Gestalt splashed across it like you’d see in the movies. If Monica hadn’t stopped her in front of it, Myfanwy never would’ve guessed it was their dressing room.

“Not Teddy,” someone said behind the door. It was quiet a beat.

“Three is stranger than all four.”

“Just Eliza?”

“Or Robert.”

Monica knocked on the door and the voices stopped at once. Monica turned the handle and pushed the door open waving Myfanwy inside. The door snapped shut behind her and she flinched. Her nerves had returned tenfold.

They were all there again. All four bodies. She slowly realized they had been talking to themselves. Not that the snippets she’d heard made any sense at all.

Myfanwy stared between them and tried to remember what it was she had decided to tell them. She looked down at the floor in an attempt to let herself gather her thoughts. 

“Transdermal neurotransmission,” she murmured. 

“What?” Gestalt said all at once. They winced.

Myfanwy’s lips twitched in a nervous smile. She didn’t think she’d ever hear them speak altogether and enjoy the sound. She had no idea what had changed, but it was suddenly music to her ears.

“My EVA. That’s the technical term for it.” She looked up at them. “Transdermal neurotransmission.”

Gestalt looked amongst themselves. Eliza swallowed. “And what does that mean, exactly?”

Myfanwy blew air out her nose. “I’m not entirely sure. I try not to use it. Ever. Blowing a couple fuses is a mild result. I usually keep a tight lid on it, you see. I have to. I’m dangerous. Deadly.” She took a deep breath and let it out slow. She hadn’t shared that part of her with anyone willingly.

Gestalt was quiet. It was unnerving. Such a large part of her wanted to bolt again. She pushed it down. She knew it had more to do with confessing her EVA than being with them. Being with them felt _right_.

“And that’s why you ran the other night?” Teddy demanded.

Myfanwy looked up. He looked angry. Then again, Teddy always looked angry. Myfanwy shook her head slowly.

“I was… surprised. I couldn’t process it. You. Everything, really.”

“And now?” Alex asked.

Myfanwy looked between them all and took a step small step forward and touched the back of Eliza’s hand. “Now I’ve processed it. I’m sorry for how I reacted the other night. It was thoughtless. If it’s alright I’d like it if we could be friends.”

Eliza’s eyes narrowed at her. “No. It’s not alright.”

Myfanwy’s heart sank. She’d been so certain. So hopeful. She felt like someone had just snatched the rug out from under her and now she was tumbling down.

Before she could dwell too much on that, Eliza was pushing her back into the wall beside the door. Myfanwy was going to ask what was happening. Or cry for help. But Eliza grabbed her face and pressed her lips to hers. Myfanwy was shocked into stillness for a full second. Then she gave herself into the feel of Eliza’s soft lips.

Just as she was getting into it, Eliza pulled back. She stared her deep in the eyes panting like Myfanwy was.

“I don’t want to just be friends, Myfanwy,” Robert said from across the room. She noted that even that body seemed as out of breath as the one that had just been kissing her.

“Do you understand?” Alex asked, weakly.

Myfanwy nodded, her eyes never leaving Eliza. “And is that alright?” Teddy pressed.

Myfanwy’s eyes dropped back to Eliza’s lips. She struggled to find her voice again. The subsequent, “Yes,” that whooshed from her lips was barely audible.

It didn’t seem to matter whether it was whispered or shouted. The second the word was past her lips, Eliza’s mouth was on hers again.


	4. Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy's patience is tested.

Myfanwy’s phone was ringing. She was leaned back against the mirror, seated on the dressing room counter. Teddy was kissing her now. She didn’t know how they decided on the trade offs. Or why. She didn’t particularly care.

But her phone was ringing. She groaned at last and pulled her face away to dig through her purse. Teddy’s lips moved to her neck and Myfanwy sighed. She checked the screen on her phone, wrinkling her brow at the unknown number. She slid the green circle over to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Call from Belmarsh Prison, do you accept the charges?” A woman asked.

_Bronwyn_. “Fuck. Yes, I accept the charges.”

She caught Alex’s curious eye across the room. She slid her hand from around Teddy’s neck and pushed at his chest. He moved back and looked down at her as the call finished connecting.

“What the hell took you so long to answer your phone?” Bronwyn demanded in lieu of greeting.

Myfanwy growled in frustration. “Why do you always have to be such a shit?” She argued back. She slid off the counter and grabbed her coat from where it was draped over the back of one of the chairs.

“Whatever. You’re coming to get me, then?”

“Every fucking time, Bron.” She held her phone between her ear and shoulder while she slid her arms into her coat. “Which one is it?”

“Belmarsh in Thamesmead. Hurry up, will you? I’ve already been here four hours.”

“God, you are so lucky I love you or I’d leave you to rot.” She hung up and pulled Ingrid’s number up on her phone. She stopped before she hit send. 

Gestalt stared at her. A mix of emotions splattered on each of their faces. Myfanwy grimaced. “I’m so sorry. I have to go.”

She didn’t want to go. She wanted to hop back up on that counter and see just how many of her questions she could answer tonight. It was akin to torture to get herself so worked up and have to walk out before it could get really good. She was absolutely going to murder her little sister.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Alex pouted.

Myfanwy wrinkled her nose. “I’m sorry. Believe me I want to stay – God, I want to stay – but my sister is…. I just have to go pick her up.” It felt wrong to divulge her sister’s dirty laundry to Gestalt. The loyalty was too strong.

She moved to open the back door when Teddy’s arm flew out to stop her. She looked up at him. His face was more scared than angry.

“You aren’t planning on trapping me in your dressing room the whole night, are you?” She asked skeptically. She wouldn’t put it past them. They’d already kidnapped her once.

“I’m afraid if I let you walk out this door, I’ll never hear from you again.”

Myfanwy smiled, her cheeks warm. “Are you busy tomorrow night?”

Gestalt frowned. “No?”

Myfanwy reached up and pulled Teddy’s head back down so she could kiss them once more. “Pick me up at seven.”

Four brilliant smiles beamed at her. “Seven it is.” Teddy reached down and pulled the door open for her. He leaned out and motioned for someone down the hall.

Monica appeared in the doorway. She squinted at Myfanwy’s face first before her eyes flitted over the rest of Gestalt’s faces. She frowned up at Teddy.

“You’re really going to send her out looking like that?” Monica demanded.

Myfanwy touched her face. She turned around and looked at herself in the large mirror her back had just been pressed up against. Eliza’s bright red lipstick was smeared across her mouth and chin. She started rubbing at it with the heel of her hand.

Robert walked over and took her chin between his fingers to hold her head steady. A handkerchief appeared in his hand from thin air and he gently scrubbed the evidence of their heavy make-out session from her face. It took everything she had not to pull them in for yet another kiss. She had to remind herself of her foolish sister sitting in jail waiting for her.

“Good enough,” Monica said after a minute. “Let’s go, Thomas.”

Monica started away before Myfanwy had made it out of the dressing room. She hurried after dialing Ingrid’s number as she went. 

“Myfanwy Thomas, you better tell me what the hell is going on with you right now or I swear we aren’t friends anymore!” Ingrid threatened.

“Where are you at? We need to go pick up Bron.” Myfanwy could answer her friend’s questions later. When she wasn’t so pressed for time.

“Oh my God. Again? What did she do this time?” Ingrid moaned.

“Ingrid, focus. Where are you now?”

“I’m at the tube station. I’ll wait for you here.” 

Myfanwy nodded absently. “I’ll be there in five.” She hung up and dropped her phone into her purse.

Monica stopped at a back door and turned to Myfanwy with a frown. “You know, I had high hopes for you, Thomas.” She reached up and put her hand flat against the wall beside the door. “I thought you seemed like a sweet, compassionate woman. I didn’t think you’d do something so shitty.”

“What? Wai–”

Monica held up her hand to stop her. “No. Just listen. Gestalt has been absolutely devastated this past week. I haven’t seen them that low since… well, let’s just say it’s been a long time. So I’m telling you now if you ever, _ever_ make them feel like that over what they are again….” She finished her threat nonverbally. The stone wall groaned under her hand and huge cracks spread out from beneath her fingers.

Myfanwy met Monica’s eyes again calmly. “I’m running a little late. If you’re finished with the threats, I’d like to go.”

Monica glared back at her for a beat longer before stepping aside and letting Myfanwy out into the night.

* * *

“What’s it mean that they didn’t formally charge you with anything?” Ingrid asked Bronwyn as they reached Myfanwy’s apartment.

Bronwyn had her hands shoved deep in the pockets of her batter winter coat. She had been scowling since they met her at the prison. “It _means_ they’re being paid to cover shit up.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “What did they take you in for anyway?”

“Doesn’t matter. Besides, Myf, you don’t really want to know.” 

They took the decrepit lift up to Myfanwy’s floor. Something they only ever did when Ingrid was with them since it seemed almost as likely to plummet them all to their death as get them to the fourth floor.

“Ingrid, you sleeping here? I’ll turn down the guest bed.”

“Where am I to sleep if Ingrid takes the guest room?” Bronwyn whined.

Myfanwy went to the hall closet and pulled out a pillow and blanket. She whipped the pillow at Bronwyn’s head and tossed the blanket before she could regain her balance. “Criminals sleep on the couch.”

Bronwyn dropped the pillow and blanket on the couch, grumbling. “When’s the last time you got laid? Maybe it’ll mellow you out, you uptight bitch.”

Ingrid arched her eyebrow at Bronwyn. “I think you might’ve gotten in the way of that tonight actually.”

Bronwyn’s eyes bugged out of her head. She looked up at Myfanwy. “What? For real? When? Who? Why didn’t you tell me to fuck off?”

Ingrid nudged Bronwyn’s knee smiling conspiratorially. “Pretty sure it’s one of the Gestalts.”

Bronwyn laughed. “Right. My sister the tightwad with a rock star?”

Ingrid frowned and looked up at Myfanwy who hadn’t moved from where she stood half in the room and half down the hall. “Is it Eliza?”

Myfanwy worked at her mouth but no sound came out.

“Oh, look, she’s gone mute.” Bronwyn slumped down on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. “We should go out tomorrow night. We’ll get you a hook up with a real person. There’s a club I know that should be fun.”

Ingrid grinned at Bronwyn. “The last time we went to a club you knew about you disappeared halfway through the night and we didn’t see you for a week. Myf had to go pick you up from Bruges of all places.”

Bronwyn shrugged indifferently and started to idly flip through one of the magazines on Myfanwy’s table. “I like a good time.”

“I can’t tomorrow,” Myfanwy finally managed.

Bronwyn looked over the magazine at her. “It’s a Saturday night. If you’re trying to get out of going out and having fun just so you can deep clean your oven or some other bullshit I’ll drag you out by your ears.”

Myfanwy crossed her arms over her chest defensively and sniffed. “As a matter of fact, I have a date.”

Bronwyn dropped the magazine and stared open mouthed at Myfanwy. Ingrid was the first to squeal.

“Oh my God! Who?” She squeaked.

Myfanwy felt her cheeks heat. “Um, well… Gestalt.”

“Shut up,” Bronwyn said in disbelief. At the same time, Ingrid said;

“Which one?”

_Which one? All of them?_ She frowned and chewed at her cheek. “Well, I suppose you can just see for yourselves tomorrow at seven when they pick me up.”

Bronwyn was shaking her head. “Yeah, because this is _definitely_ something I’ll have to see to believe.”

Ingrid launched into a million questions that Myfanwy did her best to answer without giving too much away. Including the fact that they were closet EVAs. Or _a_ closet EVA? It was nearly four in the morning by the time she so much as glanced at her bed.

_Oh, good. I was worried I wouldn’t look like a complete fucking mess on my first date with Gestalt._ She paused then. Would they consider the hot tub their first date? She hoped not. That would be a horrible beginning to their relationship. _A relationship that began with a kidnapping_….

She took a hot shower before starting on breakfast. Bronwyn slept like the dead just across the room. She could hear her snores over the sizzle of ham in the frying pan. Once she’d finished cooking, she went for her phone.

_Who to text_…?

She gave in and just created a group chat with all four of them as ridiculous as that was. Her fingers paused as she tried to think of what to say. And how to say it. She sat at the dining table and mulled it over as she ate.

**To Gestalt:**

**Good morning. Are we still on for tonight?**

She felt stupid. Like some sixteen year old girl texting her first boyfriend. She turned her phone face down on the table and continued to eat. After a few minutes, Ingrid rolled herself out of the guest bedroom and helped herself to a plate of breakfast.

“Mornin’, Myf.”

“Morning.”

Ingrid set her plate on the table and wheeled herself back into the kitchen after a drink. Myfanwy jumped up to help her. Ingrid stopped midway back to the table to stare at Bronwyn’s unconscious form. Twisted in the singular blanket. The pillow had dropped onto the floor. She was a picture.

Ingrid picked up her spoon from the table and threw it with pinpoint accuracy so that it hit Bronwyn square on the forehead. Bronwyn jumped to her feet, her fists curled at her sides. After a second, she registered the apartment and the two other women inside it and relaxed. She yawned and stretched leisurely before heading to the kitchen after food.

“No coffee? Why do you hate me, Myf?” Bronwyn complained. She slammed through the cabinets until she found everything to start the coffee maker.

“Would you like me to list the reasons alphabetically?”

Bronwyn rolled her eyes at her sister. Once she’d fixed everything she wanted, she brought her food and coffee to the table. They chatted conversationally for a while before Myfanwy could resist the urge to check her phone no longer.

**Alex:**

**Did you make a group chat for us?**

**Teddy:**

**What happened? Couldn’t pick?**

**Eliza:**

**Or are you embarrassed we’ll figure out which body you prefer?**

**Robert:**

**Why? Did you change your mind?**

Myfanwy’s cheeks were hot. She glanced up at her sister and Ingrid hoping they didn’t notice her embarrassment. Ingrid was looking at her own phone scrolling through something. Bronwyn was staring down at her plate spearing her eggs with her fork like they’d personally offended her.

**Myfanwy:**

**Didn’t change my mind. Thought you might’ve changed yours.**

**Eliza:**

**Not possible. **

**Alex:**

**Did you have a place in mind?**

Myfanwy chewed her lip.

**Myfanwy:**

**My sister and my best friend are here, but I**

**think they’re planning on going to a club.**

**Alex:**

**Which club? That could be fun.**

Myfanwy frowned. She hadn’t anticipated going out anywhere. For several logical and very non-guttery reasons. Like they were a famous rock band. And they’d always just gone back to their penthouse. And… well, why couldn’t they just spend time together out of the public eye?

And then Myfanwy could no longer think of non-guttery reasons not to go out in public. Her thoughts were back in the dressing room. Would she have even made it back to her apartment last night? Would they be having a conversation face-to-face instead of through a group chat she felt like an idiot for creating?

**Myfanwy:**

**Just some club my sister heard about.**

**I don’t really like clubs though.**

**Alex:**

**Why?**

**Myfanwy:**

**Too many people.**

Bronwyn got up and dumped her plate in the sink before trudging off down the hall after a shower. Ingrid rolled herself into the living room and flipped on the television. She flipped through the stations rapidly, evidently after a specific program.

**Robert:**

**Ouch.**

**Myfanwy:**

**That is so not what I meant.**

**Teddy:**

**What did you mean?**

**Myfanwy:**

**I just meant I didn’t want to go to a club.**

**Eliza:**

**Where do you want to go?**

_Your place? My place? Anywhere I can be alone with you?_

**Myfanwy:**

**Surprise me?**

**Robert:**

**You might not like what I have in mind….**

Myfanwy’s stomach flipped. How could one text elicit so much excitement? So many filthy thoughts. She was pretty sure she’d like whatever Gestalt had in mind. She had a few things of her own in mind.

**Myfanwy:**

**I trust you.**

There was a pause. Bronwyn emerged from the bathroom freshly showered and changed. She kept spare clothes in the guest room’s dresser. At this point, her sister basically lived in her apartment with her. Bronwyn sat down in the armchair and curled up to watch whatever it was Ingrid had put on.

Four texts popped onto her screen at once. All from four different numbers, but all saying the same thing.

**Gestalt:**

**I’ll see you tonight.**

Myfanwy laughed out loud. She’d always gotten the impression that their talking all together was accidental. Something that happened when they were too anxious or excited. Apparently, they did it just as much for effect as they did it by mistake. Something that Myfanwy found increasingly adorable.

“Put your phone down and come spend time with us!” Bronwyn whined.

“Yeah, your mystery date gets you for the whole evening. We only get you today,” Ingrid agreed.

Myfanwy sighed resignedly and moved from the dining table to the couch. They ended up watching some marathon of a show Ingrid was obsessed with. At six, Myfanwy started to get ready. She stared at her closet dejectedly.

She was relieved Ingrid and Bronwyn hadn’t decided they had better things to do that day. They came in and helped her decide. They settled on a silken green dress Myfanwy had bought for a work event three years earlier. It tied around the neck and had an open back that dropped a bit lower than she would have preferred for a work event, but for a date with Gestalt….

Bronwyn dragged her into the bathroom and curled her already short hair. She never would have attempted it herself, but Bronwyn somehow managed to make the tousled look suit her. Ingrid curled her eyelashes and fixed her eyeliner. One look in the mirror and she decided she had never looked better.

If only that did anything to settle her nerves.

Her buzzer went off five minutes before seven. She was struggling into her shoes. Bronwyn and Ingrid were in the bathroom. They had evidently decided to go to the club without her. Myfanwy grabbed her long, black cardigan and slipped it on.

“Lock up before you leave, okay?”

Bronwyn arched her brow at her. “You aren’t bringing them up?”

“Are you kidding? The place is a mess. I don’t want them knowing I spent all day in my yoga pants on the couch with you two.”

Ingrid frowned. “You promised we’d get to see your date for ourselves.”

Myfanwy’s stomach dropped. She’d forgotten that. Before she could think of a solution, her buzzer went off again. Her phone went off in the same second. She groaned.

“Okay, you can come down with me, but don’t bug them. Alright?”

They were beaming vicious smiles that made her wish she could swallow her words back down. She hurried to the door and hit the intercom.

“Just a minute, I’m on my way down.”

She didn’t wait for a response before she opened the door and waited for Ingrid and Bronwyn to get into the hallway and call the lift. The ride down was torture. Her nerves were going haywire. Twice, she made the lights in the lift flicker and once it groaned to an almost stop between the floors. Ingrid and Bronwyn shared a wary look.

They were all relieved when the lift stopped in the lobby and let them out. Myfanwy held her bag so tight her fingernails were biting into her palm. She didn’t know why she was so nervous. She’d been alone with them loads of times. Of course, those had all been spur of the moment and completely unexpected meetings.

Robert was standing outside the door with the hood of his coat pulled down over his face. He smiled when he saw her. She walked on stiff legs relieved that they’d only brought one body to pick her up. She couldn’t imagine explaining the multiple bodies thing without giving away their EVA.

“I fuckin’ _knew_ it’d be Robert if it was any of them!” Bronwyn shouted just as she reached the door and pushed it open.

Robert’s smile fell away and was replaced by a look of utter confusion. He grabbed the door as soon as it was open to hold it for her giving him a clear view of both her sister and Ingrid. Ingrid smacked Bronwyn on the hip.

“_What_?” Bronwyn hissed in what Myfanwy knew was meant to be a whisper. “You know she’s been in love with Robert for forever. It was practically the first word out of your mouth when you surprised her with the tickets.”

“Bron!” Myfanwy cried. “Shut _up_!”

When she turned back around to apologize to Gestalt, they were grinning. A wide, cocky smile. Her stomach dropped. She would never live this down.

“Hi,” he greeted, “I’m sorry. I seem to be at a loss. You already know who I am.”

“I’m Ingrid.”

“Bronwyn. I’m Myf’s overprotective sister.”

Myfanwy glowered at her little sister. Gestalt went on grinning like they had never had so much fun. Myfanwy wanted to curl up and die.

“You’re the one that stole her away from me last night.”

Bronwyn’s mouth fell open. Ingrid had never grinned so big. Myfanwy planted both hands on Robert’s chest and pushed him backwards out the door.

“Lock up before you leave!” She ordered over her shoulder.

Robert was laughing lightly. He took her hands from his chest and dropped one as he led her a short ways down the street. She was looking for his purple Mercedes so she was surprised when he stopped them at a black Range Rover and pulled the front passenger door open.

Teddy was in the driver’s seat. Alex, Eliza, and Robert were in the back seat. She chewed her cheek.

“What’s the plan?”

Teddy turned and smiled at her. “Tsk tsk tsk. You said to surprise you.”

Myfanwy frowned.

“I mean, you’ve already got me in the car. What harm could telling me now do?”

Gestalt snickered. The sound surrounded her as if it were coming from the car speakers rather than the four bodies. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

Teddy took a hand off the steering wheel to brush the back of his index finger over her cheek. She looked over at him curiously.

“Good things to those who wait,” Eliza promised from the backseat.

Myfanwy sighed. She was usually very patient. Very calm. She’d never had so much trouble waiting before. _The reward had better be good_. 


	5. Wooed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt takes Myfanwy on a date.

“You said you trust me, yeah?” Alex said from behind her.

Myfanwy turned to give them a curious expression and nod. They had only been in the car for about five minutes by then. Alex held up a strip of fabric. Myfanwy wrinkled her brow at it.

“What’s that?”

Alex’s eyes bounced down in embarrassment and back up. “Blindfold.”

Myfanwy’s throat tightened. “Why?”

Gestalt let out a breathy laugh. “Suppose I’m taking the ‘surprise’ bit a little far.”

Myfanwy frowned thoughtfully. She was intrigued. They’d put more thought into this date than she’s originally thought. She had honestly assumed they’d just go back to the penthouse.

“So?” Alex shook the blindfold at her.

Myfanwy grimaced. “Fine.”

She turned around and so Alex could lean forward and fasten the blindfold over her eyes. Goosebumps erupted on her skin at their light touch. Once the blindfold was secure, Alex’s fingers lightly sifted through her hair and settled on the back of her neck for the shortest of moments.

She found herself annoyed when they pulled their hand away and sat back. She reminded herself that they had promised her ‘good things’ and she intended to collect. 

A few minutes later she felt the car rolled to a stop and heard Gestalt climb out of the car. She turned and fumbled blindly for the handle on her own door when it swung open. Hands cupped her elbows and helped her out of the Range Rover. Once she was standing, one of the hands moved down to thread their fingers through hers.

She smiled at how comfortable it felt. She reached out with her other hand to find another body. Another hand to hold. She heard the soft laugh of Gestalt beside her and another hand slid into hers. She wove their fingers together.

_Robert and Eliza_. She decided. She wished she had two more hands for Teddy and Alex. Maybe that was selfish. They led her inside somewhere. The air was warmer. She scrunched up her face and tried to subtly move the blindfold out of the way so she could see.

“Just a few more seconds. I promise.” Eliza’s voice was honey in her ear.

It really was only a few more seconds. She heard the ping of a lift and the floor began moving. Teddy slipped the blindfold from her face gently. She was still holding Robert and Eliza’s hands. Gestalt looked down at her strangely.

Myfanwy frowned. “Did you ruin my make up? Ingrid worked hard on that.”

Teddy smirked and gave a slight shake of his head. 

“What about my hair? I didn’t spend thirty minutes letting Bronwyn attack me with a curling iron for nothing, yeah?” She was smiling more easily now.

Teddy crowded her until she took an unwitting step back. Her back hit Alex’s chest immediately. She twisted her head to look up at him. Alex smiled back down at her.

“You look perfect,” they said at once.

Myfanwy flushed. _We had better be going straight to a hotel room_.

The lift stopped and the doors opened then. Teddy turned around and led the way out of the elevators and up to a hostess stand. Myfanwy sulked. Even if she _was_ hungry. She knew it was going to take more than food to sate her.

She was flanked on all sides by Gestalt. So much so that the only part of the hostess she could see was the high ponytail that swished from the back of her head as she led them to their table. 

Table might have been wrong. It was a booth that was almost completely partitioned off from the rest of the restaurant. The booth seat wrapped all the way around the three walls in a ‘u’ shape. Gestalt released her hands and waited for her to slide in. Once she was settled at the back of the booth, Gestalt filled in around her. Two on each side. The hostess distributed the five menus and promised their waiter would arrive shortly before disappearing.

Myfanwy could feel Gestalt’s legs pressed firmly against hers on either side. It had been a while since she’d last gotten intimate with anyone. Let alone someone in possession of four bodies. Four _extremely_ attractive bodies. She had to remind herself that she had been the one to suggest a date. And it was she that didn’t specify what exactly she wanted to do on that date.

She picked up her menu if only to distract herself. She browsed the selections mindlessly before she noticed something.

“Why are there no prices?” She whispered. “How is anyone going to know how much they’re spending before the check comes?”

Gestalt gave her a patient smile. “Don’t worry about that. Just order whatever you want.”

Myfanwy scowled. “Easy for you to say. Some of us have day jobs.”

Eliza rolled her eyes. “This is a date, right? Obviously I’m paying.”

Myfanwy flushed. Never had she been taken on an honest to goodness date before. Whenever past boyfriends had taken her to eat, they always split the bill. Usually at Myfanwy’s suggestion.

Myfanwy stared at the selections again. It all looked so exorbitant. When their waitress finally appeared for drink orders, Myfanwy was still trying to figure out which was likely to be the least expensive item on the menu.

“Myf?” Alex whispered.

She looked up and glanced around at all the faces staring at her. “Hm?”

“Champagne?”

“Oh.” Myfanwy flipped her menu over looking for the drinks options. Alex put his hand over her menu and shook his head.

“Just yes or no?”

“Um… yes?”

The waitress smiled placidly and scurried off to her task tossing interested looks over her shoulder at the band.

She started back to her menu when she noticed four thumbs being chewed on. She frowned wondering what it was she had done wrong. What she might have missed.

“Have I done something wrong?” She hedged already afraid of the answer.

Gestalt looked at her in shock. “No? Of course not.”

They looked between themselves and frowned.

“Have I?” Eliza asked.

Myfanwy wanted to laugh. What could they have possibly done wrong?

“Why do you ask?”

“You just don’t seem very…” One started.

“Comfortable.”

“Happy.”

“We can leave if you’d like.”

Myfanwy gave them a reassuring smile. “I’m just a little out of my element here. It’s been a long time since I was last on a date and I have never been somewhere so… elegant. I’ll adjust.”

“Hard to believe, that,” Alex told her with a smile.

Myfanwy scowled. “I happen to be a very adaptable person.”

Gestalt laughed.

“I meant about it being a while since you was last taken out,” Teddy explained.

Myfanwy blushed. “Yes, well, let’s just say I am very committed to my work.”

“What is it you do?” Eliza asked.

“Accounting. I work at King’s Inc. under Linda Farrier. She was in Forbes Magazine last year for the women in business spread.”

The waitress returned with a bottle of champagne and five glasses. “Ready to order?”

Myfanwy picked the first thing on the entrée list. It was one plate of food. What could it cost? The high end of her scale said fifty dollars which felt insane by her standards, but nothing she couldn’t handle.

“Conrad and Farrier go way back. He says she was the only EVA to ever really intimidate him.” They snickered again at some private joke.

Myfanwy frowned. “Linda isn’t an EVA.”

Gestalt paused in their champagne pouring to look at her. “You didn’t know?”

Myfanwy shook her head firmly. “I’ve worked side by side with Linda Farrier for ten years. She isn’t an EVA.”

Gestalt passed her a glass of champagne. “She’s registered, you know?”

Myfanwy took a drink and stared at the tablecloth. She never checked the EVA registry. It didn’t really matter to her. But the idea of her boss of over a decade being an EVA the entire time she’d known her was mad. Completely mad. Impossible.

The table fell into an awkward silence as Myfanwy processed the new information. 

“Your sister seems fun,” Alex offered after a few minutes.

Myfanwy looked up and rolled her eyes. “Bronwyn’s one of those people you can only handle in small doses.”

Gestalt grinned. “Hopefully she doesn’t get into more mischief tonight.”

“Oh, she usually waits until I’m about settled into bed to call with a crisis. Even if it’s _days_ later in some foreign city.” Myfanwy finished her first glass of champagne and Teddy quickly refilled it.

“Sounds like a story there.”

Myfanwy sighed and shook her head. “There’s about twenty stories there, but I’d rather not divulge my sister’s dirty laundry.”

She looked up when Eliza’s hand covered hers on the table. “You’re a very trustworthy person.”

“I saw that the first night and you confirmed it throughout the following week.”

Myfanwy gave a small, breathy laugh. “I could’ve been lying, you know.”

They all rolled their eyes again. “You really couldn’t have been. That’s Conrad’s EVA.”

“At least part of it.”

“Like truth serum you breathe.”

Myfanwy’s face fell. “He drugged me?”

Gestalt grimaced. “Not really.”

“Sort of.”

“I didn’t really think of it like that.”

“Sorry,” all four bodies said sincerely.

The waitress came back with a huge tray topped with five plates. They waited for her to make her exit. She took her time. Her eyes bore into Teddy so hard Myfanwy was surprised she didn’t set him alight. To their credit, Gestalt ignored the attention.

Myfanwy was hungrier than she thought she was. And the food was better than she assumed. It was really unfair for Gestalt to have four mouths. They could eat with three bodies and still have one mouth free to ask questions.

“What are your parents like? They can’t be arsed to help with your sister?”

Myfanwy chewed more slowly. When she swallowed her food she took a great gulp of her champagne. “They passed.”

Gestalt’s faces dropped in pity and horror. “Sor–”

Myfanwy shook her head and wrinkled her nose. “It was a long time ago. Don’t worry yourself.”

“So your sister lives with you, then?” They tried again.

Myfanwy shrugged and tried to get rid of her mouthful of food so she could speak again. “Technically she lives in our parents’ house in Horsham. At least that’s what’s on her documentation. But if you go looking, she’s never there.”

Dinner continued pleasantly. Gestalt asked her about Bronwyn and Ingrid and her hobbies and interests. Myfanwy did her best to answer just happy they hadn’t once steered the conversation back to her EVA. Some stories were not first date material no matter who it was with.

The waitress came by again to collect their empty plates and leave the bill. Teddy pulled out their wallet and slipped a card into the restaurant’s billfold.

“What do you think, Myfanwy?” Robert asked as the waitress came to collect the payment.

She wrinkled her brow at them.

“Are you up for any more surprises tonight?” Eliza clarified.

Myfanwy started to say yes without question when she thought about where her last ‘surprise me’ had gotten her. She swallowed and twisted her lips thoughtfully.

“Depends on the surprise.”

Alex grinned. “If I just told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.” The waitress brought back Teddy’s credit card and Gestalt slid out of the booth.

Myfanwy followed suit. Teddy and Alex each grabbed one of her elbows to help her to her feet. They returned to their earlier formation with one body surrounded Myfanwy on all sides as they moved back to the lift.

Before they reached it, Myfanwy caught a glimpse of the skyline through the restaurant’s wall of windows. They must have been forty floors up to get that view of London. Myfanwy’s jaw dropped. She suddenly wished they’d insisted on a window seat though she understood why they hadn’t.

Two hands filled hers as the lift descended. She leaned into Alex at her back again. His hands settled low on her hips. If the next surprise didn’t include a bed or a private room with a door and a lock she would scream.

A valet brought the Range Rover and they all clambered inside. Myfanwy worked on steadying her breathing.

“Gestalt?”

“Yes?”

“If I ask for something will you promise not to make me feel like an awful person for it?” Myfanwy’s face was so red her cheeks hurt.

“You can ask me for anything.”

“Do you want me to kill someone for you?” Eliza asked brightly.

Myfanwy let out a short laugh. “No.”

Robert leaned forward and took her hand in both of his. “What do you want?”

It was so quiet. So earnest. Myfanwy felt absurd. “You.” She managed. Then she cleared her throat. “Bed.” She cursed herself for her lack of articulation. “I want you to take me to bed.”

Teddy slammed the brakes making Myfanwy jerk forward only held back from the dashboard by her seatbelt. She squeezed her eyes shut and covered her face with her hands. Several voices murmured apologies.

“Shit. Forget about it.” She muttered.

“Not bloody likely.” Teddy muttered as he turned the car around and started driving in the opposite direction.

Myfanwy kept her hands over her face and sank lower in her seat. She had doubtless ruined whatever rapport they had built over the night. Her and her damned wanton teenaged fantasies.

The car turned rapidly a few times before stopping. She looked up when the engine cut off. All four Gestalts were already out of the SUV. Robert opened her door and stared at her as she sat immobile.

“Did you change your mind?”

Myfanwy swallowed hard and moved her hand slowly to unbuckle her seatbelt. Gestalt winced and shook their heads.

“Wait. Just….”

“I was going to do this right.”

“I’ve done nothing but behave monstrously towards you.”

“I abducted you, _drugged _you, put you in a vulnerable position before –”

“-shocking you with the truth about what I am.”

“And blaming you for how you reacted.”

“Kissing you so forcefully last night….”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you if you told me to fuck off forever.”

“Tonight was meant to be my chance to make up for it all.”

“I swore I would take things slow.”

“Woo you.”

“Tell me now. Do you want to go home?”

“Have you changed your mind?” They asked all together.

Myfanwy smiled and slid out of the car, pushing Robert back to do so. She leaned up and wrapped her hand around the back of his neck. His hair tickled her fingers.

“You’re right,” she purred, “there was a lot of shady shit in there. But you and I remember things very differently.” Gestalt’s eyes had gone dark as they stared at her. Robert’s hands were settled on her hips. “So far the kissing has been the best part.” She leaned up until her lips were right next to their ear. “Consider me wooed, Gestalt. And take me the fuck to bed.”


	6. Scandal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt takes Myfanwy the fuck to bed.

It was intriguing to learn how differently each Gestalt body kissed. They were the same person, but no two bodies kissed the same. And they were all incredible in their own mind numbing way. For instance, Robert would nibble lightly at her bottom lip. Something that drove her wild. Eliza did this thing with her tongue that Myfanwy’s brain couldn’t make sense of, but never wanted her to stop doing. Alex was smiley in his kisses. Like it was some private joke he was sharing with her. Teddy was aggressive in all the right ways. Pulling her in until her head filled with air and she forgot what oxygen was for.

If Gestalt hadn’t had four bodies, they never would have made it out of the parking garage. She’d never seen herself as a backseat sex kind of girl, but she was hard pressed to think of any reason why they shouldn’t just screw between the cars.

Gestalt crowded her as they stepped into the penthouse. She was delirious as their hands roved her body. She slipped out of her cardigan, her purse long forgotten in the Range Rover. She pushed at Teddy’s suit jacket as Eliza nibbled at her neck. Her fingers knotted in Teddy’s tie that wouldn’t come loose. She growled in frustration until Robert grabbed her hands away so they could take the tie off themselves.

Myfanwy toed off her shoes as Alex’s lips moved away from hers. She let them back her towards the stairs. She broke away for air and noticed they had all shed a considerable amount of clothing. Enough that she now felt entirely overdressed in her green dress and panties. She started to reach behind her neck to untie her dress when Alex and Eliza snatched her wrists away.

“I want to do that,” Teddy rasped.

Six hands fell away from her as Teddy’s hands hooked around the back of her thighs and lifted her onto his hips. Myfanwy locked her legs around his waist automatically. She nuzzled his cheek and peppered kisses across his jaw as he carried her up the stairs. She watched the other three bodies following through slits.

She saw when Eliza reached behind her and unclasped her bra so that it fell away exposing near perfect breasts. The bra was dropped on the stairs heedlessly. She was beginning to feel a tad self-conscious. Gestalt had Eliza’s perfect body to compare her to. She was sure to be a disappointment.

Teddy sat her on her feet beside the bed. Alex was suddenly behind her, pulling at the strings holding her dress to her chest. It fell away from her breasts and Myfanwy automatically threw her arms up to cover herself. Gestalt growled now. Teddy’s strong hands closed around her arms and gently pulled them away.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to see you like this?” Alex whispered in her ear. “Don’t hide from me now.”

There was a second’s pause as they stared at Myfanwy. Her face, not her tits. As if they were deciding something. 

“Do you still want this?” Robert asked. He was in nothing save his boxers. All of them were. Did they really think she could change her mind now?

“Please,” she answered.

Alex’s hands moved around to cup her meager breasts in his large hands. Myfanwy’s eyes fluttered shut. She felt the stubble of Robert’s jaw scratch against her skin as he sucked one side of her neck. Teddy nipped at the other side. They pushed her dress the rest of the way off her hips and stopped at her panties. Teddy and Robert each had a thumb hooked through the elastic on either hip.

“You have to let me know. Anytime you want to stop, tell me.”

Myfanwy nodded mutely and followed Alex down onto the bed. His hands moved from her breasts so he could pull her back further onto the mattress by her waist. Teddy and Robert followed them onto the bed. Myfanwy moved around searching. When she came up empty, she pulled back and looked around. Eliza was standing at the edge of the bed watching.

“What are you doing?” She reached out her hand for Eliza.

She stared at Myfanwy’s hand. Her delicate brows drew together. Her tongue darted out to lick her smeared red lips. “Are you sure?”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes and leaned forward to grab Eliza’s small hand. “You think you’re the first girl I’ve had?”

She arched a brow and moved forward onto the bed. “Mm, you might have to tell me that one.” But Myfanwy wasn’t going to be able to tell her anything the way her lips were pressed against hers. Myfanwy didn’t care. The time for talking had long since passed.

Two tongues swirled around her nipples causing her back to arch. She clutched Eliza’s head between her hands and moaned into her mouth. Hands were everywhere all at once. Myfanwy spread her legs a bit more to give them better access while her own hands moved over Eliza’s voluptuous body.

Gestalt groaned as her fingers pinched at Eliza’s nipples before moving lower. A third mouth appeared between her legs and Myfanwy was sure she’d die of ecstasy. She found Eliza’s clit and all four of Gestalt’s bodies spasmed around her. Eliza panted into Myfanwy’s mouth and broke away to kiss her neck.

She felt Eliza growing slick just like she felt the three erections pressing at her back and thighs. Myfanwy slipped two fingers inside Eliza, curling them to hit that precious spot as her thumb worked at her clit.

Teeth grazed Myfanwy’s clit and she bucked against the mouth working her cunt. The lights in the penthouse flickered dangerously, but she wasn’t in the mind to care. She turned her head and used her free hand to bring Alex’s mouth up to kiss her. A low moan rumbled around her from four throats. She pulled back from Alex’s mouth and took one of Eliza’s nipples between her teeth and sucked.

Gestalt gasped and Eliza’s body clenched around her hand. She dropped Eliza’s nipple and moved to nibble her ear. “Alright?”

“Oh, what the fuck?” Gestalt groaned.

Myfanwy pulled back with a frown to meet their eyes. “What –”

Robert’s mouth was over hers, cutting off her question. She felt one of Teddy’s fingers slide inside her. She gasped and twisted against his touch. Eliza was lying somewhat decommissioned beside her. Eyes glazed over.

Myfanwy broke away from Robert’s insistent mouth. “Did I do something?”

Robert cupped her face in his hands and shook his head. “You’re showing me up.”

Myfanwy grinned confidently. She pushed at Robert’s shoulders until he was beneath her. Teddy’s finger slipped out from inside her and Alex’s mouth fell away from her nipple. She sealed her mouth over Robert’s and pushed the waistband of his boxers down to free his cock. She gave him an experimental stroke before breaking the kiss again.

“Condoms?” A drawer opened somewhere and a row of condoms was passed between them.

Myfanwy tore one off and rolled it down Robert’s hard shaft. Gestalt groaned as she slid down over him. She gasped and let out a small whimper of fulfillment. It really had been too long. She buried her head in Robert’s neck for a moment to catch her breath before she started moving.

Robert was moving with her, but they were letting her set the pace. Myfanwy felt her climax building in her belly and moving into her chest. She wasn’t sure if the lights were actually getting dimmer or if she was just getting tunnel vision. Gestalt’s arms were firm and comforting around her back. She felt like she’d barely started before she fell over the edge and all she could do was cling to Robert’s shoulders as her orgasm raked its way through her body.

Gestalt flipped her before the spots could clear from her eyes and began driving into her harder. Faster. Her second climax washed over her on the heels of the first. She heard Gestalt’s cry and felt Robert’s body slacken over her. After half a minute, Robert pulled out of her and rolled over.

Alex reached out and ran the backs of his fingers down her face. She looked at him through her lashes. She was breathing hard, but she felt good. _Really_ good. She reached up and pulled his mouth down to hers.

“Give me a minute,” she murmured.

Teddy was on her other side along with Eliza who had evidently recovered. She pet Myfanwy’s hair back from her face.

“You don’t have to keep going. I would never expect you to. You’ve already done more than I thought you would.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes and pulled Eliza’s mouth back down to hers. “Are you saying that you can’t keep up with me, Gestalt?”

Alex laughed beside her. “I’m trying really hard not to break you, Myfanwy.”

“I’m not made of glass, Gestalt, how about we just agree that I’ll let you know when I’ve had enough.”

Teddy kissed her neck. His tongue drew a line up to her jaw where he stopped to lightly bite her earlobe. Myfanwy squirmed against him and dug her fingers into his shoulders.

“You think you can handle another round?” Teddy asked.

Myfanwy found the row of condoms and pulled off another. “Safety first.”

Teddy grinned and rolled his eyes. He took the condom from her hand and slipped it onto himself. He nuzzled her cheek.

“What do you want?”

“You wanna be on top again?” Alex asked.

Myfanwy sighed into Teddy’s kiss for a moment. “Mm. How about you do a little work for a change?” She teased.

Gestalt snickered around her and she was suddenly showered with kisses on all sides. Teddy was just slightly larger than Robert. She grunted as she took him into her. She tucked her fingers into Eliza’s hair and pulled her in to kiss her. Robert’s and Alex’s hands were on her knees holding her legs up and giving her something to push back against. It was good leverage so Teddy could hit deeper into her core.

Her fist clenched tighter in Eliza’s hair. She let out a gasp. She was close, but she wanted to ride out the pleasure in the build a few moments longer. Her hand found its way back to Eliza’s cunt. She felt a building in her chest. Filling her lungs and shorting out her brain.

Myfanwy broke away from Eliza to cry out at the same time all four Gestalt bodies shouted and came along with her. Then, everything went dark. At first, Myfanwy thought it was after effects of an insanely good orgasm, but when her vision didn’t come back she slowly realized what she had done.

Teddy shifted back until he was out of her. She sat up and knocked her head against one of Gestalt’s. She was shaking now. And not from pleasure. 

“Shit shit shit shit shit.”

Gestalt was peculiarly quiet around her. She could hear them panting and gasping for breath, but they weren’t moving. A pit of dread was forming in her gut.

“Oh, no. Please tell me you’re alright. Please please please. I’m so sorry.”

“Mm,” one of them grunted.

“Gestalt?” She reached out and found one of the bodies. They took her hand in theirs and wove their fingers together.

“’S’alright, Myf. Need a mo’.”

Myfanwy nodded even though they couldn’t see her in the dark. After a few minutes, Gestalt came back to life. They shifted around her. Someone, she thought Teddy, pulled her against his chest.

“Maybe we should’ve lit candles,” Eliza mused.

“Wooing one-oh-one,” Alex said to her right.

“No!” Myfanwy shouted. “No fire!”

Gestalt’s hands ran up and down her arms, calves, and back. “Okay, Myf, no candles. Do you have anything against flashlights?”

Myfanwy shook her head. She felt the bed dip as someone got up to retrieve the suggested flashlights. She reached up and brushed a stray tear away from her cheek.

“Did I hurt you earlier?”

“Hurt me? You near to killed me.”

Myfanwy felt her heart stop. How close had she come?

“Never – and I mean _never_ – have I ever climaxed with all four bodies at once. I have no idea how you did it, but I don’t think I’ll ever have better sex if I live an eternity.”

She was quiet a few long minutes as she processed. Everyone was alright. Better than alright. The only thing hurt in her lapse were the lights. Everything was fine. She started to relax again. She let herself revel in the blind ecstasy that was a triple orgasm.

There was a loud beep and the lights flicked back on across the penthouse. Myfanwy blinked hard against the sudden brightness. She saw Robert coming back up the stairs in his boxers carrying a no longer needed flashlight. He leaned over the bed and kissed her lightly.

“Was it too much for you?” Alex asked, petting a tear from her face.

“Or did you just scare yourself when you put the lights out?”

Myfanwy took a deep breath. “I’m fine.” She pushed herself out of Teddy’s arms. “Just need the loo.”

Four hands pointed to an open door across the floor. She slid off the bed and padded to the bathroom. She peed quickly while she was in there. Her real goal was to wash the filth from her hands that always accumulated whenever she used her EVA whether she meant to or not.

When she came back out, Gestalt was leaned back against the headboard staring into the middle distance at nothing. They turned simultaneously when she stepped out. They were all in their boxers. Even Eliza had pulled on a white tank top. Myfanwy was the only one still buck naked.

“You alright?” She asked them.

Four wide grins answered her. Teddy swung his legs off the bed and crossed to her. She leaned back to look at him. He gripped a handful of her ass in both hands and lifted her. She gave an unwitting squeal and covered it by kissing him. He kissed her back for just a second before pulling back and tossing her onto the bed.

Myfanwy giggled as Alex reached down to pull her up beside him so she was between him and Robert. She smiled up at them, a hand on each face. Gestalt sighed down at her.

“You are insatiable, but I think we need to stop for the night.”

Myfanwy frowned. “I _told_ you I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough,” she complained.

“Oh, I know that.”

“Thing is…”

“_I_ don’t think I could survive another round with you tonight.”

“Not exactly something I’m proud to admit.”

“But I think we can work something out for the morning.”

Myfanwy grinned wickedly and kissed Alex long and slow. She pulled back. “I’ll still be able to fuck you under the table in the morning.” She turned and gave Robert the same long, slow kiss.

“Saucy little succubus,” Gestalt muttered.

The lights went out again, this time on purpose. Robert’s arm wrapped around her chest, his head bowed toward her left shoulder. Alex’s arm wrapped around her waist, his head bowed to her right shoulder. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was exhausted. Sleep overtook her the minute her eyes shut.

* * *

They went for another two rounds when they woke up the next morning. It wasn’t until her stomach growled that they even considered getting out of bed. She shuffled off to the shower while they set to making breakfast and recalibrating from the exhaustive sex.

She slipped back into her green dress, but she couldn’t find her panties anywhere. She sighed and decided they weren’t that important.

“I need to run down to the car. I left my phone in my purse last night. I should probably let my sister know I didn’t die in some horrible accident or get kidnapped by EVA traffickers.”

Eliza nodded as she sliced some strawberries. Alex was beside her slicing bananas. Teddy and Robert were turned away from her flipping pancakes and eggs respectively.

Myfanwy slid her shoes on, but didn’t bother fixing them up all the way. She hit the button to call the lift.

“Wait,” Alex called setting down the knife and moving over to her. He picked a set of keys from a collection on the wall and handed them to her. “Lock it back up, please.”

The lift doors opened and Myfanwy stepped inside. She grinned at Alex. “Back in a mo’.” She promised.

The Range Rover was further away than she remembered. And parked across two spots at a strange angle. If she was confident, she’d adjust it into the parking spot properly. As it stood, she only grabbed her purse from where it sat on the floor and locked the doors.

She was back in the lift before she remembered the passcode needed to get back to the penthouse. She grimaced and pulled her phone out of her purse. Her battery was down to thirty percent and she had thirty-seven text messages from Ingrid and Bronwyn. She would check them later.

The first Gestalt contact in her phone was Alex. She slid his name to the right and waited for them to pick up.

“You alright?” Teddy asked. Myfanwy frowned at the switch.

“Why are you answering Alex’s phone?”

She could practically hear their collective eye roll. “They’re _all_ my phones.”

“Yeah, okay. I need the code for the lift.”

“Nine-one-zero-two-seven-seven.”

Myfanwy punched in the code and the lift started to move. “Thanks.” She hung up and began checking the missed messages.

Three of the messages were links to various news sites from Ingrid. The lift opened back out to the penthouse. Myfanwy looked up and smiled at Gestalt sat at the table waiting for her. She decided to investigate further later.

“This looks amazing.” Gestalt smiled at she took a bite. “Oh, God! It tastes amazing, too!”

“How’s your sister?” Gestalt asked as they started to eat.

Myfanwy shrugged. “She’s alive at least.”

“How much are you on social media?”

Myfanwy scrunched her face up as she chewed. “Never?” She swallowed. “I don’t even have a Facebook. Not really a point, you know? I’ve got Ingrid and Bronwyn and I see them both near to every day.”

They were quiet. Myfanwy continued eating, but she wasn’t oblivious to the strange relief her answer had brought them. She took a sip of orange juice and leaned back.

“Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” they lied.

Myfanwy narrowed her eyes and pulled up the first news article Ingrid had sent her. She frowned at the title at first. It didn’t make sense to her.

** _Mystery Girl Spotted With ‘Gestalt’_ **

Myfanwy scrolled down to the photo. Her stomach dropped clear out of her. It was a picture of her still blindfolded walking into the lift holding Robert and Eliza’s hands. The caption below was somehow worse.

** _A woman was spotted with her hands linked with not one but two members of punk rock band ‘Gestalt’._ **

Myfanwy read through the rest of the article becoming more horrified with each line until Eliza’s hand reached out and slipped her phone from her hand. It didn’t matter. She’d read enough.

‘The Gestalt siblings have shared everything, including the womb. Are they ‘sharing’ girls now?’

‘Is she a slut, greedy, or both?’

‘Who is this mystery girl?’

‘One would think if an internationally famous rock band were going to share a sexual partner they would have picked a prettier woman.’

Myfanwy slumped down in her chair and stared out the window at the London skyline. She had spent fifteen years keeping her head down and trying to stay under the radar. Keep herself invisible both for her safety and others. In the span of one evening, the whole nation now had her picture. Granted, her face was half covered in it, but it was only a matter of time.

“Myfanwy?” Alex called quietly. She looked over at him. “You alright?”

She nodded, not trusting her lips with the lie. It did nothing to convince them anyway. They squeezed her hands on either side.

“They’re just tabloids. They practically thrive on insults and scandal.”

“A few years back there was a rumor I was fucking myself and got Eliza pregnant.”

“Disgusting, by the way.”

“Don’t give it any credence.”

Myfanwy shook her head. “Sorry. It’s my first time having people slander me. Just need some time to adjust.”

Alex gave her a wide grin. “Suppose it’s good you’re so ‘adaptable,’ then.”

She did her best not to tremble. Not to let on how truly rattled she was. They had pictures of her. It wouldn’t be long before they figured out her name. If anyone put two and two together and discovered she was an unregistered EVA she could kiss her freedom goodbye. And if they figured out just what her power was? She shivered.

Eliza slid her arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck. “You all finished with your pancakes?”

Myfanwy turned her head to meet Eliza’s kiss. “Why do you ask?”

Eliza did that thing with her tongue that shorted out her short-term memory. “I think you need a distraction and I’m of a mind to give it to you.”

“What do you say?”

Myfanwy grinned into their unbroken kiss and started to rise out of her chair. “I say we give the electrician a run for their money.”


	7. Our History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bronwyn is a mood killer and a blabbermouth. Basically, she's a twerpy little sister.

It had been the most spectacular Sunday Myfanwy had ever lived bar none. Amazing that near to all of it had taken place in bed. Naked. Sweating like a racehorse in heat. They had to stop eventually as they had run out of condoms. And stamina.

All five had passed out on the bed. Mostly on the bed. Well, they had started passed out on the bed at least. Alex had fallen off at some point. And she might’ve accidentally kicked Robert off the end as well. She sighed and shifted closer to Eliza who tucked her head under her chin and gave a small hum of satisfaction.

The sun was setting. Outside the window, the world was cast in a blaze of orange and red. Myfanwy yawned and stretched reveling in the feeling of her tired muscles. She sat up and moved to the end of the bed. A chorus of grumbles erupted around her.

“Few more minutes,” Eliza mumbled, her face buried in the sheets.

“I need to rest,” Teddy groaned.

“And recuperate,” Alex added from where he was slumped against the bed on the floor.

Myfanwy stroked the top of Robert’s head leaned against the bed by her feet. He turned and pressed a blind kiss to the side of her knee. She smiled fondly.

“You can rest and recuperate as long as you’d like. I have to head home.” She stood up and grabbed one of Teddy’s button ups to wear while she hunted down her dress.

Her words were like magic. All four Gestalt bodies jolted awake and reached out as if to stop her. “Go?” Teddy demanded.

“Why do you have to go?”

“I was only joking,” Eliza insisted, “We can go again if you’d like.”

“As many times as you want.”

And all together, “Don’t leave!”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes at their dramatics. She started towards the stairs. “Don’t be a baby about it. I have work in the morning.”

Gestalt thought for a couple seconds. Long enough for her to get halfway down the stairs.

“Take a sick day!”

“People have sick days.”

“I’m sure you’ve got loads.”

“You’re a self-professed workaholic.”

Myfanwy started retracing her steps from that morning. She’d abandoned her dress somewhere between the dining table and the couch. She heard the stampede of Gestalt’s eight feet trampling down the stairs after her. She hadn’t reached the kitchen before she was surrounded.

“Or, you could just leave for work from here tomorrow.”

“I can even drive you.”

Myfanwy sighed. “I don’t have any work clothes here. I can’t very well wear Teddy’s shit to the office.”

Alex gave her one of his big, goofy grins. “But you do!”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes again and tried to weave her way through their bodies. “My dress – wherever the hell it is – is barely fit to be worn home let alone to the office.”

“I’m not talking about the dress.”

“Don’t you remember?”

Myfanwy turned a curious eye on them. They were grinning conspiratorially. 

“Last week you left in one of my bikinis. Nothing else.”

“The clothes you left I had dry cleaned and pressed.”

“I planned on returning them to you via courier if you didn’t show on Friday.”

“But you did show and those clothes are still here in my closet.”

“And if that’s not good enough, you can borrow some of my clothes,” Eliza added.

Myfanwy laughed. “I don’t know if you’ve ever spent much time in an office, but there isn’t usually much leather outside the furniture.”

Eliza frowned thoughtfully before moving forward and kissing her. Gentle at first, but it built quickly into full blown passion. Myfanwy melted into her before she realized what she was doing. She pulled back and rested her forehead against hers.

“I’m not saying I don’t love the leather,”

“Stay.”

“And the guyliner is and always will be a _look_.”

“Stay.”

“And there’d no denying you’ve got rhythm positively mastered.”

“Myfanwy, stay with me.”

She leaned into her kiss again. Myfanwy felt Eliza’s soft hands slid between the loosely buttoned fabric of Teddy’s shirt. She sighed and moved closer to her. It was so easy for her to fall back under their spell. She had to shake herself and pull away and every nerve ending in her rioted against the act.

“I have to go. If I don’t go now we’ll just be having this conversation all over again in the morning. Then I’ll be late and I have an important meeting first thing that I can’t miss.”

“It won’t be. I promise.”

“I’ll let you get showered and dressed and I’ll even drop you at work.”

“And I’ll say, ‘Have a good day, sweetheart.’”

“And you’ll say, ‘Thanks, babe, you, too!’”

“And I’ll say, ‘Oh, that’ll be impossible to do without you.’”

“And you’ll agree and decide that you can use that sick day after all and you’ll get back to the car and we’ll come back here….”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “Exactly what I’m talking about.” She twisted away from Eliza and continued her search.

Gestalt pouted. “You’re such a tease, Myf.”

Myfanwy let out a short laugh. “I’m the best you’ve ever had and you know it.”

Robert held up her dress for her. “I do know it,” he said as she took the dress from his hand, “that’s why I don’t want you to leave.”

Myfanwy shrugged out of Teddy’s shirt and shimmied into her dress. It was wrinkled beyond belief and there was dried something on the hem that she was choosing not to think about.

Alex moved forward and pressed his head against her shoulder. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She sighed and tilted her head to the side so he could kiss her neck. She pushed back against him, her eyelids fluttering dreamily. Alex’s hand gathered her dress skirt in one hand and fit the other between her thighs. Myfanwy bit back a moan as his fingers softly pet her.

“You see?” He whispered hoarsely. “You don’t want to go either.”

Myfanwy ground her hips back against his erections. He grunted while the other three bodies took in sharp, ragged breaths. She turned her head to catch Alex’s lips. When that wasn’t enough, she tried to turn all the way around, but Alex’s arms held her steadfast. Not to be deterred, she twisted her hips more forcefully against his crotch. Her hands pushed at the waistband of his boxers.

“Gestalt,” she whined.

Alex kissed her jaw, cheek, and temple. “Tell me you’ll stay.”

Myfanwy gritted her teeth. “Now who’s a tease?”

“Still you,” they laughed.

Myfanwy growled and shoved Alex’s hands away. She grabbed her shoes, purse and cardigan and slammed her hand against the button to call the lift. She slipped her arms into her cardigan as she waited for the doors to open. She’d put her shoes on on the way down.

She heard Gestalt thumping around behind her, but she refused to give them the satisfaction of her attention. Not again. They’d try to trick her. She knew it.

The lift doors opened and she stepped inside hitting the button for the garage. Just as the doors were closing, Robert darted inside wearing black jeans and a violet t-shirt. He dropped a pair of sneakers on the floor and slid his bare feet into them.

“I’m going home, Gestalt.”

Robert smiled at her and nodded. “I know. I’m driving you.”

Myfanwy frowned at him. “What did you do? Draw straws with yourself?”

Robert laughed quietly. “I thought it’d be easier if Bronwyn and Ingrid usually saw you with one of me.” He bumped his shoulder lightly against hers. “Besides, I know how much you fancy this one.”

Myfanwy blushed. Ludicrous considering all the things she’d already done with _all_ of Gestalt’s bodies let alone this one. Still, it was embarrassing to have your childhood crush know you fancied them. “I was a kid. I didn’t know any better.”

Robert frowned. “What’s that mean? If you knew about me you wouldn’t have fancied me?” He brought his right thumbnail up to chew on.

Myfanwy reached over and pulled his hand away from his mouth. She twisted her fingers between his so he wouldn’t be inclined to do it again. She smiled at him.

“I meant, if I knew I didn’t have to choose, I never would have.”

Robert smiled and leaned into her. Luckily, the doors opened before she could be convinced to go back upstairs and finished where they’d left off. 

Myfanwy didn’t let go of their hand the whole ride home. She regretted not simply agreeing to take a sick day. Honestly, she was tempted to use up all of her accumulated vacation days and hole up with Gestalt for the next three months. Her chest panged as Robert pulled their Mercedes to a stop outside her apartment building.

Robert shut off the car, pulled his hand away from hers, and got out to open her door. He waited for her to find her apartment keys before holding that door for her, too. Myfanwy felt a panic rising in her chest. She didn’t want to leave them. Ever. That thought alone terrified her, but not nearly as much as being anywhere they weren’t.

“Should I say goodnight here?” Robert asked softly. His fingertips skimmed the back of her hand just lightly enough to raise goosebumps on her skin.

“Would you like to come up?” She heard herself ask.

Robert’s hands were at her hips backing her into her apartment lobby. He bent his head and kissed her while they waited for the lift. Myfanwy wrapped her arms around his neck and welded herself to him.

They only broke for air briefly to send the lift to the right floor and again to open the door to her apartment. Once they were safely behind closed doors, Gestalt tugged her dress back off. Something they were damn near experts at with how many times they’d done it already.

Myfanwy pulled Robert’s t-shirt over his head and started at his pants when they heard a very distinct clearing of a throat. They broke away and Myfanwy spun to see Bronwyn with her feet up on her coffee table eating pizza out of a box.

“Bron! What the hell are you doing here?” Myfanwy grabbed Robert’s shirt back up and pushed it into his hands.

Bronwyn raised an interested eyebrow at the shirtless man behind her sister. She swallowed the bite of pizza that was in her mouth and leaned forward to set the box on the coffee table.

“Your face was in six different tabloids in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe you don’t care, but there are still people that remember the Checquy. Maybe your super star boyfriend should be more conscious of that.”

“Shut up, Bron. My face was mostly covered anyway.”

Bronwyn crossed her arms over her chest. She nodded at Robert. “Does he know?”

“About my EVA? Yeah, they do. So why don’t you drop it?”

Bronwyn wrinkled her brow at her. “They?”

Myfanwy felt her stomach drop.

Bronwyn narrowed her eyes at Robert. “How many people know who you are?”

Myfanwy winced. She turned to Robert with a grimace, “Could you just excuse us for a minute. I need to talk to my sister privately.”

Gestalt’s face was drawn in concern. He nodded.

“Help yourself to some pizza,” she called as she dragged Bronwyn down the hall and into her bedroom.

Myfawny shut the door and went straight to her closet for a night shirt.

“How much does he know? How much to ‘they’ know. Whoever they are?”

“Bronwyn, this is _my_ secret. _My_ curse. I get to decide who knows what. Not you.”

“Myf, this isn’t cancer or a secret affair. If anyone from back then recognizes you or even figures out what you are they will hunt you down. It’ll be the Checquy all over again. Glengrove or the Lugat or someone even worse will stop at nothing to get their hands on you. You’re not like other EVAs and you know it.”

“Stop it.”

“You’re more dangerous than a nuclear bomb!”

“Shut up, Bron!”

“You killed forty people in an afternoon! Power like that is worth millions and –”

“SHUT UP!” The lights cut out. Not just the lights in the apartment building, but down the street as well. Myfanwy took several very deep breaths and tried to control her shaking. She could feel it spreading out from her. “Get out of here, Bronwyn. Now.”

Bronwyn opened the bedroom door wordlessly and moved back down the hallway. She heard the door slam and went to sit on the edge of her bed to calm down. Or try at least. She’d completely forgotten Robert was even still there until he appeared in her doorway.

“Myf? You alright?” He asked carefully.

“Don’t… don’t come near me right now. You should head home.”

Myfanwy didn’t know if he was stupid or just didn’t care what she said. He stepped into her bedroom and came to sit beside her on the bed. He’d put his shirt back on.

“Are you alright?”

Myfanwy ground her teeth together and nodded. “I just need to calm back down,” she said through clenched teeth. “Get control.”

There were sirens going off below along with car alarms and a lot of shouting. Myfanwy was working to drown it out. The anxiety and pain of knowing what she’d caused wouldn’t help her in the slightest.

“What did Bronwyn mean about it being the Checquy all over again? That place burned down almost fifteen years ago now.”

Myfanwy felt hot tears on her cheeks. “Who do you think burned it down?”

Gestalt was quiet for a long time. Too long. Myfanwy felt herself losing whatever semblance of control she’d regained.

“You were the one in quarantine,” he murmured.

Myfanwy looked up in shock. “What?”

“The girl they brought in strapped to a gurney. That was you?”

Myfanwy felt a new kind of fear taking over. “How do you know that?”

“I was raised in the Checquy. Nearly from birth. That’s where I know Conrad from. He used to be a development supervisor. Closest thing to a father figure I’ve ever had. I was on the road to becoming another operative. A hive mind for the hive minded. I didn’t want to be an agent. Tracking down other hapless EVAs and forcing them into servitude. Until the fire, that was the only thing my future held.”

Myfanwy sniffled and cleared her throat. “What do you mean?”

Robert smiled at her. “That fire wiped out all the files of the under eighteen EVAs who were yet to be officially registered. I was six months shy of eighteen at the time.”

“You were in the Checquy fire?”

Gestalt smiled at her easily. “So were you.”

“I k-killed….”

“I’d say that means we were meant to be,” Robert said oddly relaxed.

“What?” Myfanwy couldn’t keep up with his line of thinking.

“I used to look at you through the little porthole window. You were always so out of it, but I heard rumors you’d attacked the psychiatrist.” Gestalt thought for a moment. “Bristol. That was it.”

Myfanwy’s upper lip curled back. “Don’t say that name.”

Gestalt looked down at her surprised. “Alright.”

Myfanwy glowered a beat longer until she realized they were content to leave it at that. She relaxed again. Her tears were drying. Fascinating since she usually spent whole nights crying whenever she was forced to relive the Checquy catastrophe.

Robert reached out to tentatively touch the back of her hand. Myfanwy felt normal again. Not so out of control. She moved her hand from beneath Robert’s and shifted to wrap her arms around his waist. They were content to hold her. Soothe her. And Myfanwy realized that her teenaged infatuation had shifted into real, abiding love.


	8. I, We, Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt meets Myfanwy.

The ability to play four unique instruments simultaneously was a skill foisted upon Gestalt from the time they were four years old. Violin for Robert. Piano for Eliza. Drums for Alex. Cello for Teddy. As they got older, they moved on to other instruments. They shifted away from classical music to more modern music. They worked their way through genres playing covers and honing their skills. 

They were meant to have four distinct personalities in each of their bodies. The ability to blend in seamlessly and hide in plain sight was the most important part of their development. It would doubtlessly come in handy when the Checquy eventually sent them out to track and capture hapless EVAs just struggling to survive.

They were raised to be an asset. An agent. Nothing more. It didn’t stop them from spending days in their room playing music and writing songs of their own. Playing with chord variations and taking turns doing the singing bits. It was the most fun they could manage in their prison.

After the fire, Conrad took them in and hid them. He knew they never wanted the life the Checquy had arranged for them. And, despite knowing nothing about the entertainment industry, he was the one to book their first gig at a dive bar in East London. Within six months they were signed with a record label and planning their first tour.

They didn’t especially enjoy the touring. At first it was a thrill. Playing their music for stadiums full of people cheering their names. It was a rush. But it was all an illusion. Just like they would’ve had with the Checquy. Nobody knew them. Not really. Conrad even managed to forget they were all the same person on occasion. 

It was a bar show. Smaller than their usual venues and one of the last local shows on their European Tour. They had fourteen shows to headline and two festivals to play at the start of the summer. After that, they were taking a break. Conrad was trying to keep them from quitting altogether. 

That was when Gestalt spotted her. She was standing front row close enough to touch. There was a part of them that wanted to. She looked familiar. They wondered if she was one of the stalkers. The fans that went to every show and staked out the backstage making Monica Reed entirely necessary.

She caught them staring and blushed. Instantly making herself a hundred times more beautiful in the dim bar lighting. Gestalt turned one set of eyes away and traded them for another. She shut her eyes and swayed to the music a small smile played on her face. 

Maybe they didn’t know her. Maybe they were just horny. It had been a couple weeks since they’d let any of their bodies get off. Gestalt fell into thoughts about which body would most likely entice her back to a hotel room. They never fucked fans at their home, of course. Stalkers were a real and pressing threat and Gestalt needed somewhere they didn’t have to worry about keeping up their illusion.

She was standing closest to Robert so that was the body they would use. They made eye contact with her again as they started up the next song. Her eyes fluttered open and landed directly on theirs. The blush came back and Alex grinned as Robert sang the lyrics straight to her. _Oh, yeah, she’s leaving with me_. 

The room dropped into total darkness. The last played notes hung in the air before disappearing. Screams and shrieks filled the bar and hands pressed and tugged at them to get of stage. Someone found a flashlight and handed it to Teddy. They stumbled across the thick wires twisting across the floor. 

“Oh, thank God!” Conrad gasped, shining the beam of his flashlight directly into their eyes.

“Con, put the light down,” they ordered with Eliza’s voice.

“Sorry.” He dropped the light to the floor and turned around. “Follow me.”

He led them back to their dressing room huffing in irritation the whole way. “Even the backup generator!” He cried in his accusatory tone. He thought someone did it purposely.

“You think it was an EVA?” Not that that mattered much. They put out a couple lights, what was the big deal? If they’d wanted to hurt them they could’ve done it by now.

“An unregistered EVA? Just happened to come to a Gestalt concert?” Conrad was livid. Gestalt had to remember not to smile or laugh. It would only make him angrier.

“I’m very popular. With people of all backgrounds. And who’s to say they’re unregistered?” They reasoned.

They knew why. Conrad had started vetting the audience members after an incident in Glasgow at a music festival. Some poor pyrotechnic came into her powers during their set and ignited the stage. They hadn’t blamed her. They’d even sent her a signed CD after Conrad had her booted off to Glengrove. The new Checquy.

They still hadn’t forgiven him that.

“Out back in seven minutes. Try not to let anyone see you go.” And Conrad was gone again.

They lounged in the dressing room waiting for Monica’s text. They flipped the flashlight like a drumstick and imagined finishing their set. They weren’t especially fond of the dark. Not since survivalist training back at the Checquy. They shivered.

Someone sneezed.

Gestalt’s stomach twisted. They shone the flashlight in the direction of the sneeze. They could just make out the outline of someone curled up behind the clothing rack. When they pulled the eavesdropper to their feet they were startled to recognize the pretty woman from the front row.

She blushed again and began apologizing and babbling her excuses. Gestalt went over the conversation they’d had with Conrad a few minutes earlier. Dread swirled within them as they realized what she must have heard. Even if she lied and said she heard nothing.

Alex’s phone buzzed with Monica’s text. They’d need reinforcement if they were going to deal with this situation anyway. Eliza picked up the woman’s conveniently abandoned purse. She didn’t really struggle as they led her out the back door and towards the limousine. Not until they were outside under the streetlights when she began flailing wildly.

_Maybe she really was just scared of the dark_.

Monica made some snarky comment as they loaded their eavesdropper into the backseat and followed her in. Eliza found her wallet and pulled out the I.D. They squinted at the jumble of letters forming her first name. The last name was legible at least.

“How do you say your name?” They asked ignoring her protests.

She scowled at them. Impossibly, they found that even more delightful than the blush. And somehow more familiar. “Myfanwy. Like Tiffany.” She bit out harshly.

They murmured her name to themselves. Tasting it. The name didn’t ring any bells. Just a strange recognition of her face. She began babbling again. Threats about police involvement and kidnapping. Gestalt needed to focus. They wanted to remember her, but she was making it difficult with her jabbering.

“This whole silent abductors thing is getting kind of old, don’t you think?” She started again once they were in the lift. They frowned. _Abductors_. They didn’t like that. It made them feel like Checquy agents. “I already told you I didn’t hear anything. Even if I did, it’s not like I’d repeat it to anyone. Or that anyone would listen if I did.”

“So you did hear something.”

She rolled her eyes. Gestalt fought their smiles. She thought she was being abducted and she had the guts to _roll her eyes_ at her abductors. “I said _if_ I heard anything I wouldn’t repeat it.”

They believed her. Against all odds, they did. But if they said they believed her simple as that they’d have no reason to keep her there.

“You are strangely calm for someone in your position.” They’d never had a stalker be anything other than a bundle of nerves when they were confronted.

“Kidnap fans often, then?”

Teddy was stood behind her where she couldn’t see. They grinned broadly. Every time she opened her mouth they only found her more and more adorable.

They still had her purse. Her phone passcode was easy enough to figure out. They’d just looked at her license to learn her birthday. Today of all days. Kismet. Teddy quickly added four new contacts to her phone before flicking the screen off and dropping it back into her purse. They didn’t give themselves her number. They wanted to leave it in her hands. Call them or not.

“Why are you so calm?”

She scowled again. Teddy went on grinning at it. “I already lost control once this evening. I’m determined not to do it again. Still, believe me when I say I am anything but calm.” Gestalt stopped smiling. She was wound tight. Her hands were fists at her sides.

“Lost control?” _What did that mean? _“Is that when you took advantage of a power outage to hide in my dressing room? And spy on my conversations with my manager? What was your plan?”

Myfanwy frowned and tipped her head to the side as she regarded them. “Why do you do that?”

Gestalt frowned back at her. “Do what?”

“That!” She pointed at them all and Gestalt realized they had spoken with all four voices. “You all speak in the first person even when you’re referring to each other. It’s….” They held their breath waiting for her to finish saying what it was. They’d already heard an endless litany of descriptors for what they were. Strange, creepy, weird, spooky, unsettling. Myfanwy didn’t give any of those words and instead just shrugged.

They offered her a seat while they called Conrad. They had to coax her to the couch. She was more skiddish than a startled mare. They explained the situation briefly to Conrad who became more and more irritated with every word.

“I’ll stop and pick up Nazim on the way.”

“No!”

“No?”

“I don’t think she knows enough to warrant that. I just need you to get the truth out of her. Just to be sure.” They heard Conrad start his car.

“This idea is shit and you know it. Fifteen years flushed down the drain if this goes balls up.” Conrad grumbled.

“See you in a few.”

They joined her on the couch, amused at her pouty behavior. Like she was a school kid waiting outside the headmaster’s office. Monica walked in then and made some dig about their clothes staying on. Conrad arrived minutes later.

The doors to the lift were hardly opened before he continued his rant from the phone. Gestalt rolled all eight of their eyes and corrected him when he fudged her name. They felt the air change as he started to use his power. They should have insisted upon her drinking something.

They listened intently as she answered his questions. Her eyes glossy as she was trapped beneath Conrad’s hard stare. She winced as she let slip that she was the EVA that killed the lights. Her jaw trembled with fear. Gestalt frowned. They would have recognized her from the Checquy. They remembered all the EVA kids cooped up with them there. They definitely would’ve remembered a name like Myfanwy. Unless she’d changed it?

Conrad finished his questioning, satisfied with her answers. She didn’t pose as great a threat as he’d originally thought. Myfanwy wilted against the couch, her face ghost white. Monica saved the day by handing her a large bottle of water that Myfanwy opened and drained in seconds.

“Give her a couple minutes to get her bearings and take her home.” Conrad’s instructions were for Monica, but Gestalt wanted more time with her. Just a few more minutes to figure out why she was familiar. Just a few more minutes in her company really.

They leapt to their feet and tugged her off the couch. She went willingly, though Gestalt was prepared to catch her if she passed out. She didn’t and let them lead her back to the lift. Robert snatched the keys to their Mercedes from the hook as they went.

She was quiet on the drive home. Gestalt felt guilty. They could have warned her that Conrad’s power was draining. Maybe they should have insisted she drink something before he got there. They pulled up to the curb outside her apartment disappointed that the drive had been so short.

“How did you know where I live?”

Gestalt allowed themselves to smile at her at last. Her eyes went wide and her lips parted. They were sure if they wanted to, they could get her in bed in the next five minutes. Maybe less. She might even be convinced into the backseat.

“The same way I know that today is your birthday.” _And really, what’s a birthday without birthday sex_? 

Her eyes boggled. “So you _can_ read minds?” She cried horrified.

The three bodies at the loft howled with laughter, but they kept Robert’s laughter to a minimum. _Was mindreading a possibility? What other powers did she think up to attribute to my weirdness?_ “No. It’s on your driver’s license.”

She dropped her eyes and blushed again. “Oh.”

“Aw, Gestalt, is Thomas a stand-up comedian? Or are you just an idiot in love?” Monica teased around a mouthful of a sandwich she’d made up for herself.

“Shut up, Mon. You think we don’t remember what you were like when you met Marcus?” Eliza grabbed a fistful of blueberries and walked out to the balcony to eat them.

“What is your EVA exactly?” They asked. That might help them connect the dots.

Myfanwy flinched as if they’d struck her. So it was more than a sensitive subject. It was taboo. Marked with thick, red lines. _Do not cross_.

“You don’t have to tell me. I was just curious.” They backpedaled.

Myfanwy took a small breath and nodded. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

_She really hasn’t guessed by now_? “I would’ve thought that was obvious by now. I’m afraid I don’t do a very good job hiding it when I’m not on stage or in front of a camera.”

They’d seen so many of her expressions in the few hours they’d known her it was hard to pick a favorite. The scowl was up there, but her thinking face was quickly rising the ranks. Her look of complete concentration as she tried to puzzle them out. It made them laugh again and her flushed look of embarrassment came back.

“Tell you what, if you figure it out give me a call and I’ll give you a surprise. Call it a birthday present.” _Just call me. Even if you don’t figure it out. Even if you just want to hear my voice. Any of them. _

“You don’t normally have to work for birthday presents.” She chided to their delight.

They leaned toward her across the consol. She was close enough to kiss. “Then I guess it’s going to have to be a very good present.” They already had one in mind. Working on it as they spoke.

Myfanwy’s face went blank. Her hand fumbled on the car door for the handle. Gestalt jumped out of their seat to open it for her. Chivalry might have died with other people, but Gestalt was not other people. She slid her thin hand into theirs so they could help her up out of the car. 

Gestalt froze up. They could feel her touch of course, they were all connected. But they shouldn’t be able to feel it like _that_. Like she was holding all four hands at once. It was like shockwaves through their bodies.

They took her apartment keys from her to open the front door unwilling to let go of the strange flurry of feelings brewing in the kettle of them of which Myfanwy was the flame. They would have followed her up to her apartment if not for the look of reserved fear in her eyes.

Gestalt grimaced with the three bodies she couldn’t see and dropped the keys back in her hand. They let their fingertips whisper across her palm out of curiosity and desire. The feeling shot through all four hands just the same. Electrifying.

“Thank you.” Her voice was so soft it was torture to leave the evening at that.

They smiled at her softly and leaned forward before they could stop themselves. At the last second, they changed course and pressed their lips to her cheek. She was impossible red when they pulled back. _Adorable_. “Happy birthday, Myfanwy Thomas.”

They crawled back in their car and forced themselves to drive away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next three chapters started as 1 which was basically a summary of their relationship from Gestalts POV but it got so long I had to divide it.


	9. Get You Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt struggles with their feelings for Myfanwy.

They were supposed to be waiting patiently. She would call. They would ask her to dinner or even just get her back to the loft. Anywhere they had quick and easy access to a bed. They had a radio interview they barely paid attention to. They only sent Alex and Teddy. Robert and Eliza stayed in the loft with all four phones.

“You know the phrase ‘a watched kettle never boils?’ I’m pretty sure the same goes for phones,” Monica snarked Tuesday afternoon.

They had Conrad look up the ticket information for her. Her friend had been the one to purchase the tickets which meant the new tickets had to be sent to her if they wanted to maintain the ruse that they were replacement tickets for the show she stopped. It was a risk, but they were prepared to make it.

“Maybe she lost her phone,” Gestalt muttered.

“Who?” Monica asked without looking up from her magazine.

“Myfanwy. She might’ve misplaced it. Maybe I should send her a new one. Hers was a little old anyway.”

Monica let out a huff. “Why didn’t you just get her number yourself? Then _you_ could call her and stop pouting at an empty call log.”

Eliza crossed her arms over her chest and glowered at Monica. “She already thinks I abducted her. You want to add stalking to the list of reasons she should run the hell away from me?”

Monica flipped her page. “Because sending her front row tickets and a new phone isn’t just as creepy.”

Gestalt began chewing on their right thumbnails again. They were down to the quick. Alex’s thumb was bloodied. They chewed on it still.

“You think she figured me out? Maybe that’s why she hasn’t called. Maybe she’s creeped out by me.” Gestalt pulled out a bottle of gin and filled four glasses. 

“You said she didn’t know.”

Gestalt drained their drinks and refilled the glasses. “She didn’t, but I told her to look in my lyrics for clues. I challenged her to figure it out.”

Eliza sat down with a keyboard on the couch and started playing the melody they had been composing since they saw her in the bar. She paused to drink and continued playing. Soon, they had a steady buzz going.

Monica stared at them blankly as they all started playing through the song. She shook her head and wrinkled her nose. 

“It’s bad, guys. Stop drunk composing.”

Alex belched loudly and took another swig of his drink. “You dunno what you’re talking about.”

“You ain’t even heard the lyrics,” Teddy said, holding his bass guitar like a cello.

Monica rolled her eyes. “Fine. What are the lyrics?”

Gestalt took four deep breaths and played one loud note over which they screamed, “_MYFANWY!”_

They smiled triumphantly at Monica as if they’d just composed Beethoven’s fifth. Monica smacked her hand against her forehead and turned away from them. “Lyrics need a little work, guys.”

“Pretty, pretty Myfanwy  
Voice just like a tambourine  
Smile soft like summer rain  
Myfanwy, Myfanwy, Myfanwy”

“Keep working at it, you’ll get there.” Monica grabbed her jacket and went to the elevator.

They managed to stay sober the rest of the week. They even managed to make a somewhat decent song out of their drunken nonsense. They did not manage to patiently wait for her call. Try as they might they still found themselves outside her apartment building on Friday night. They told themselves they were running out to get drinks and would come straight back.

They knew they were lying, obviously. Just like they knew they looked like a grade A creep standing outside her apartment building. She wasn’t home. They figured dinner or a late night at the office. If she didn’t return within ten minutes, they were leaving. 

Except that was ten minutes ago and they were still standing outside the building. They had the Robert body take a dunk in the pool to try and clear their thoughts and get them back to normal functioning person. It had little effect. 

So it was no surprise when Myfanwy took one look at them, all dressed in back with a hood down to hide their face, and assumed the worst. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t look upset to see them. She even invited them up to her place. Though that might’ve just been out of politeness.

Gestalt started doing laps in the pool to burn off their sudden burst of energy. They decided to invite her back to the loft. If she had figured them out, they’d rather have all their bodies around her to better determine her thoughts on the matter.

It was a shock and a thrill when she agreed and climbed in their car completely willingly. She was quiet as they started home. They tried for casual conversation, but she kept tripping them up. They had to admit to breaking into her phone to add their numbers. She found it exactly as unnerving as Monica told them she would.

When they got in the lift to the loft, she insisted that Gestalt hadn’t ever asked them to call her. It took a minute for them to realize she meant it hadn’t been _that_ body that had asked. _Does she really not know_?

They stepped out and Gestalt tried for an air of casualty. They watched as she walked curiously around the loft. She tipped her head up to look at their bed. They submerged themselves under the water to keep the thoughts of her naked on their bed from their immediate thoughts. 

She moved to one of the staircases and set her hand on the banister. She jumped when they offered her a drink. She seemed to be waiting for them to turn on her. Do something untoward again. Like abducting her.

She looked back at Alex at the window and took a step up the stairs. Robert broke the surface for a gasp of air before shoving themselves under the water again. She was walking straight for the bed. Deliberately.

Teddy was reading in a chair on that level. It took so much to keep themselves in the chair. To not rise and throw her onto the bed and have their way with her. They finished making her drink and headed up the stairs to hand it to her. A small part hoping she was trying to seduce them. Not that every move she made wasn’t a small seduction on its own.

She looked alarmed to see Teddy in the chair. They smiled at her, but it only scared her worse. She spun and nearly knocked them down the stairs. Their fault. They were too close to her. She frowned as she accepted the drink and headed back down the stairs. Away from the bed.

She stopped beside Alex and stared out at London with them. They had held their breath enough to make them lightheaded. They climbed out of the pool and started for the door. Myfanwy’s eyes moved from the skyline to the balcony and then she was choking on her drink.

They grabbed a towel from the kitchen and handed it to her. She was choking and spluttering and Gestalt realized she must have been looking at them coming out of the pool. She must have liked what she saw. _Enough to go to bed with me_?

An idea struck them then. A devious idea. One they would surely go to hell for. And it only took a little convincing to get her to agree. She let them lead her up the stairs to their closet. They had extra trunks in the balcony storage. Teddy came down the opposite steps as they led her up so they could change.

Myfanwy pulled off her shirt unbidden and Gestalt became four statues. _Is she doing this on purpose_? Her hands went around to the clasp on her bra when she made eye contact with them. Or tried. They should be looking at her face. If they were any sort of decent human they would be looking at her face. Not her flat belly. Or the way her slacks met the taper of her waist.

“Have I done something?” she asked innocently. 

Gestalt was going to lose their mind. They had to shake themselves to remind themselves they were not animals. They would not take advantage of her ignorance. If that’s what it was. They moved downstairs to finish getting dressed. They tied the bikini top at their neck and back finishing just before Myfanwy descended the stairs looking as mouthwatering as a seven course meal.

They were trying to focus on making her another drink since she’d dumped the first down her shirt. It was hard when she looked like that. She stopped between them and looked at Robert in the kitchen. Her mouth fell open. Her eyes dropped down their body and her cheeks flushed. _Oh, yeah. She likes what she sees._

They looked up at her, then, forgetting the drink and throwing an olive into their mouth instead. She blushed more brilliantly knowing she was caught. They led her into the hot tub. Her hand trembled as she took it. All four hands tingled where she touched them. She was obviously attracted to them, but was she also afraid of what they were? Did she even know what they were?

There was no better place to ask. She was half naked so obviously she wouldn’t be going anywhere. If she reacted badly, they’d have time to try and remedy the situation while she changed her clothing again.

“Tell me, Myfanwy, have you figured me out yet?” They started. She looked at them bewildered. “See, I don’t think you have. Else you wouldn’t have just started undressing in front of me. Unless that was your plan. I’ve seen that before.” They really had. And, shamefully, it usually worked.

Myfanwy stared between them. “Um, what?”

They leaned into her with the Robert body. She seemed to prefer that one. “It’s a shame, really, I’ve already finished your birthday present.” Mostly. Could still probably use some tweaking, but she didn’t need to know that. “Aren’t you curious?”

She didn’t look curious. She looked confused. She started babbling again before trailing off and covering her face. They hated that. They took her wrist in their hand and pulled it down. Four stomachs coiled in fear. They couldn’t remember the last person they’d told their secret to, but it definitely wasn’t anybody like her.

“Do you understand now? It doesn’t matter if it’s Teddy or Alex or Eliza or Robert.”

They took four deep breaths and very deliberately used four voices to finish, “It’s all me.”

She tugged her arm out of their hold. There was a beat and then she was up out of the hot tub and flying back through the loft to the lift. Gestalt sat frozen for another minute. Long enough for the lift doors to open and her to get inside.

They sent Eliza. She was the least intimidating of their bodies. She stopped at the lower closet and slipped into real clothes. Myfanwy’s purse and coat were laid on one of the kitchen stools. They picked them up to take them down to her. She was probably freezing.

Teddy grabbed a phone to call Monica. If she’d reacted so badly, she likely wouldn’t want to be alone in a car with them. She was shivering in the cement garage when the lift opened. She flinched when they called out to her. She accepted the coat and purse, but refused the ride as they assumed she would. She didn’t even want to step foot in the loft again. Gestalt felt the rejection like ice in their veins.

Monica pulled in with the same snarky attitude that they usually found endearing. In that moment they hated her. They hated everything. They hated themselves.

The next week went by in a haze of booze and pot. They hadn’t been so depressed since their only EVA friend to keep in touch after the fire was taken by Vultures and later killed. It was Friday morning before Conrad managed to shake them out of their stupor.

“You sent her tickets to the show, yes? So if she decides to go and you cancel on her, how do you think you’ll feel then?”

He was a master manipulator. But it got them moving. Monica said nothing after her initial degradation of Myfanwy Thomas and her character. Gestalt hadn’t liked that. They didn’t really remember what they’d said or done, but they knew it hadn’t been kind. Especially since Monica had barely offered them a word the entire week.

They slithered into their leather stage attire and sat while a team of make-up professionals fixed their faces for the performance. They hadn’t touched their instruments in a week. They had no set list. Not that it usually mattered if they did or not. They changed it up based on crowd reaction or personal impulse. It was the benefit to being essentially a one man band.

“You look like death warmed over,” Monica told them from the dressing room door.

Gestalt glared at her. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Monica rolled her eyes. “She’s here, by the way. Front row with her friend.”

Gestalt’s hearts flipped in their chests. Monica scratched her jaw and frowned.

“Can I offer some advice? Just from an outside perspective?”

Gestalt traded looks with themselves. “You want me to forget about her?”

Monica shrugged. “I mean, ideally, yeah. But I know you won’t. You’re just about the most stubborn person I know.”

“So what’s the advice?”

Monica tucked her hands into her pockets. “Ignore her. Don’t spend the whole show staring her down. Don’t even acknowledge that she’s in the audience. Avoid looking at her as much as possible. Until right before you leave the stage.” She narrowed her eyes at them. “Unless you don’t think you can do that?”

Gestalt glared at her. “And you think that’ll make her call?”

Monica shrugged and rolled off the door frame. Gestalt brought their thumbnails to their mouths in thought. She was here, which meant they might still have a chance. She might still be interested. Maybe.

They didn’t have a better plan, so they decided to go with Monica’s. They weren’t perfect at it. They looked at her with whatever eyes she wasn’t watching. She almost caught them twice, but they’d managed to look away just in time. They finished with her song. Their stomachs were in flutters the whole time. This was the big one. The great question.

Gestalt turned all four eyes on her. Eliza brought the microphone to her lips again. It was two weeks late, but it was still her present. She had to know.

“Happy birthday, Myfanwy.”

In the same sentence they invited her call and said their final goodbye. They weren’t going to spend any more time pining after her. They weren’t afraid she would reveal their secret. She wasn’t that kind of person. But they knew when they weren’t wanted. They could accept that.

Even as they slumped into the chairs in their dressing room. Head in their hands. Conrad knocked on the door and entered without waiting for them to answer.

“Monica has Myfanwy at the backstage door. Do you want to see her now?”

Gestalt jumped to their feet. “Yeah, send her back.”

They stared between themselves. They shouldn’t greet her with all four bodies. Just one, but which one?

“Not Teddy,” they muttered. He was their most intimidating personality. Some people liked the stern, overbearing look. They didn’t think Myfanwy was one of those people. They could just hide Teddy. “Three is stranger than all four.” They frowned. Which one. “Just Eliza?” She was the least intimidating. That was why she was the front woman for the band. That and she could hit the high notes. “Or Robert.” She liked Robert. That much was obvious.

They were still debating the choices when Monica knocked at the dressing room door and shoved Myfanwy inside.

Too late.

They stared at her and tried to think of something to say. Anything to say. She swallowed hard and dropped her eyes. _She can’t even bear to look at me._ She mumbled something at the floor.

“What?” They spoke altogether. They were off to a bad start, but she smiled and looked up at them again.

“My EVA. That’s the technical term for it; transdermal neurotransmission.”

They knew the words independently of the other. As far as an EVA power, they were at a loss. Unless she meant that her EVA was the reason she bolted. Like something was happening with her skin. They _had_ been touching her. Did that mean they couldn’t touch her? That’d be worse than her never speaking to them again.

No. Maybe not that bad.

“And what does that mean exactly?”

She huffed and started her babbling. Her EVA was dangerous and deadly. So was just about every other EVA they had met. Conrad’s EVA could just as easily kill someone as elicit the truth from them. Monica could snap a person’s neck by accident. Maybe her fears were because she’d never been in an EVA institution like the Checquy or Glengrove. Or the BVA like Monica.

“And that’s why you ran the other night?”

Myfanwy looked up at Teddy and recoiled in fear. They used that voice in their irritation. She was trying to blame her EVA for making them miserable for the past week. She shook her head.

“I was….” She paused and searched for the right word. Gestalt supplies about fifty of their own. _Repulsed, horrified, disgusted_…. “Surprised. I couldn’t process it. You. Everything, really.”

Gestalt frowned. She never said what they thought she would. They used a gentler voice this time.

“And now?”

Myfanwy inched forward and touched the back of Eliza’s hand. All four hands twitched at the contact. “Now I’ve processed it. I’m sorry for how I reacted the other night. It was thoughtless.” She was close enough that they could smell the rose oil perfume on her skin. “If it’s alright I’d like it if we could be friends.”

_Friends? _The things they wanted to do with her were not exactly friendly. They grabbed her elbows. “No. It’s not alright.” They pushed her into the wall and grabbed her face between their hands and did what they had been fantasizing doing since they’d seen her in that bar weeks ago.

She yielded beneath their kiss. A kiss they could feel on all their lips. Her hands settled on their waist as they kissed her before they realized they should’ve asked permission before assaulting her in their dressing room. They pulled back.

“I don’t want to just be friends, Myfanwy.” It was tough to speak after a kiss like that. “Do you understand?”

Her lips were still parted, their red lipstick smeared across them. She nodded.

“And is that alright?” They urged. They weren’t sure they could leave her be even if she said no. At least not without great personal sacrifice.

She kept her eyes on theirs in front of her. Her mouth worked to form her answer. Luckily, it was only one word that came out as barely more than a breath of air. But it was a yes. That was all that mattered.

They moved her from the wall to the counter by the mirror. They were trying to work out the best way to get her to the loft. If she kept kissing them like that, they weren’t getting out of the dressing room.

Out of burning curiosity, they switched between their bodies. It was intriguing how she managed to trigger reactions in all four bodies. No one else had ever managed to do that. They all wanted her. Needed her.

She hardly seemed to notice the switching. She didn’t even care. She kissed each body just the same as the rest. They could’ve kissed her forever, if her fucking phone hadn’t started ringing. If she hadn’t fucking _answered_ it.

The mood shifted abruptly. Whoever was on the other end of the call stirred agitation in her. No more than what Gestalt felt at the interruption.

“God, you are so lucky I love you or I’d leave you to rot.” She was already in her coat as she hung up.

_Who the fuck is Bron_? _She loves them_? They began to worry that they had spent all this time trying to seduce her and she was taken the whole time. Spoken for. They’d never bothered to ask if she was in a relationship. What if she was married? She didn’t seem like the sort of person to cheat on their partner, but what if she were?

“I’m so sorry. I have to go.”

“What? You’re leaving?” Actually leaving. Whoever called must have been important.

She grimaced. “I’m sorry. Believe me, I want to stay. _God_, I want to stay. But my sister is…. I just have to go pick her up.”

_Sister_? _Oh thank God._ Still when she moved to the door, they couldn’t bear the thought of watching her walk away again. She eyed them curiously. They’d used the Teddy body to block her exit, but she no longer looked afraid of them. Only intrigued.

“You aren’t planning on trapping me in your dressing room the whole night, are you?” She challenged.

Gestalt grimaced. That would be on par with what they’d done so far. “I’m afraid if I let you walk out this door, I’ll never hear from you again.”

She gave them an easy smile. They hadn’t seen that look on her face before. Almost happy. “Are you busy tomorrow night?”

“No?”

She reached up and pulled their head down to kiss them again. If she thought that would make it easier for her to get away, she was sorely mistaken. They were ready to pick her up and carry her back to the counter. She broke away and smiled again. “Pick me up at seven.”

Their eyes lit up. “Seven it is.” They pulled the door open and waved for Monica who was waiting down the hall.

She came to lead Myfanwy out to the back entrance. She commented on Myfanwy’s lipstick smeared face. They hadn’t noticed it between their kisses. Hard to pay attention to something so miniscule when there were more important things to think about. Like the fasted way back to the loft. The quickest way to get her out of her clothes. How to make sure she stayed in their bed forever.

They wiped away the bright red streaks and watched as she walked away, dialing another number in her phone. They needed a cold shower. All they could think about was what the hell they were going to do for the next nineteen hours.


	10. Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3/3 Gestalt POV summarizing the first part of Sing Me to Sleep!

Gestalt washed and changed their sheets. They went to the corner store and bought every candle they had and two boxes of condoms. They also took the time to compile what they thought was the perfect shagging playlist. It took an hour.

“Plans tonight?” Monica asked with feigned indifference.

“Picking Myfanwy up at seven.”

“Oh? And where are you taking her?”

Gestalt gestured at the loft around them. Monica arched a brow and bit the inside of her cheek the way she did when she was making a judgment she was trying not to share. It annoyed Gestalt.

“What?”

Monica shrugged and shook her head. Gestalt pressed their lips together in agitation. They knew when they were being baited.

“_What_?” The demanded using all four voices for emphasis.

Before Monica could answer, all four of their phones chimed with text alerts. They pulled them out and frowned at the screen. Myfanwy had apparently opened a group chat with the five of them. They smiled. She could be so cute sometimes.

**Myfanwy:**

**Good morning. Are we still on for tonight?**

It was early still which meant that she had likely woken up thinking about them. That thought pleased them more than they should admit to. Then doubt reared its ugly head. What if she was asked because she had a change of plans and was asking if maybe they also had a change of plans to soften the sting of her cancelling on them?

They quickly fired back four texts. Three of them they kept lighthearted and easy going. The fourth they used to ask their real, burning question.

**Did you change your mind?**

Monica cleared her throat drawing Gestalt’s attention away from their phones. She was frowning at them. What else was new?

“You spent the past two weeks pining after this girl and now you’re just gonna fuck her and go?”

They scowled and looked back down at their phones. There was no immediate text back, Gestalt felt their fears reigniting. Myfanwy hadn’t ever intended to go with them anywhere. She only told them to pick her up tonight so that they would let her leave yesterday. Not that they didn’t deserve the slight.

“_Are you planning on trapping me in your dressing room all night_?”

She likely thought the worst of them. They’d kidnapped her the first night they’d met. Then that stunt they’d pulled with the hot tub…. And however many immeasurable offenses they’d already laid against her. Maybe she was afraid to say no after they’d kissed her that way. She’d seemed into it.

“For a second there I thought you were actually developing feelings for this woman,” Monica continued.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

They were struggling to hold themselves out of their Myfanwy spiral. It was an uphill battle.

“I mean, most lasting relationships involve a little more romancing. Thought you Brits, like, invented wooing. Shouldn’t you have a better handle on the concept? Dating, dinner, getting to know the other person _outside_ the kinky shit? I really thought that’s where this whole thing was going.” She threw up her hands and shrugged. “Maybe I was wrong.”

Gestalt frowned and looked at the candles they had laid out, still unlit. They had champagne in the drink cooler and Marvin Gaye on the playlist. Was that not romance?

Maybe they should do something more. Of course they wanted whatever it was they had with Myfanwy to last. If they could, they’d fly her to a deserted island and live with her there for the rest of their lives. Just the five of them. And maybe Conrad and Monica could come by sometimes. But only for visits. And Myfanwy had a sister and friends and her parents might want to see her sometimes, too. So they could come visit sometimes, too. But it would mostly be just Gestalt and Myfanwy. Forever.

Myfanwy had only told them to pick her up at seven. She had never specified what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go. Still, Monica was probably right. Any sane person would assume that that meant a date not a booty call. Gestalt had never taken anyone out on a date before. Taking people to hotel rooms didn’t count. They didn’t know where to begin.

Myfanwy responded then. She hadn’t changed her mind. That was the important thing. The new date problem was still to be dealt with.

They tried to figure out what she was expecting out of the evening, but she was elusive. She was spending the day with her friend and her sister who were later planning on going to a club. They didn’t really want to go to a club with Myfanwy and her friend and sister. They wanted quality alone time with her. Still, if that’s what Myfanwy wanted to do, that’s what they’d do.

And then she pulled yet another fast one on them. She didn’t want to go to a club. As relieved as that made them, that still left them with no clue what to do. They decided to ask her directly. They were immediately met with a non-answer.

**Myfanwy:  
Surprise me.**

Oh, they could surprise her. They had a whole list of surprising things they’d like to try with her. Exhaustive and exhausting. All of it taking place on or near a bed. Their bed preferably, but they were open to other options. They’d make sure to light the candles and play music to really set the mood, but they might go to waste.

**Robert:  
You might not like what I have in mind….**

Fair warning. If she agreed, that would be it settled. No clubs, no restaurants, no sister, just Myfanwy Thomas naked and writhing beneath them on the bed. How many times was too many times to make a woman come? They’d try and figure out that answer tonight.

**Myfanwy:  
I trust you**.

Gestalt stared down at the text feeling all the blood drain clear out of them. Fascinating how three little words could make them overflow with joy and despair simultaneously. She trust them. Even after everything they’d done to her.

If there was anyone in the world deserving of being wooed it was Myfanwy. They decided then and there that that was what they would do. If it was the last thing they did, they would woo Myfanwy Thomas. As if that could somehow get her to forget all the shittiest things they had done to her.

They sent her a quick text reaffirming the time of their date. Alex brought up the internet on their phone while Eliza grabbed a tablet and Teddy and Robert pulled up twin laptops. They all entered ‘Most Romantic Dates’ into the Google search bar and clicked on the top four results.

It seemed dinner in Paris was the favored answer. It was doable. Teddy pulled up an airline website to check on tickets. They hesitated. They may want to keep their first date local. They could pocket away the Paris idea for a later date. Dinner was the obvious answer. Somewhere in London, though.

“Going with the wooing now I see,” Monica remarked reading over their shoulder. Gestalt shifted until the screen was blocked from Monica’s view. “What’d she say? She wasn’t going to sleep with you without diamonds and a new sports car?”

Gestalt rolled two sets of eyes and ignored her. Monica’s admiration for people fluctuated like the weather. Right now she was upset with Myfanwy, but by tomorrow she might decide she’s her number one fan again.

They looked into romantic restaurants, but they required a secluded booth option. Not just because they didn’t want to share Myfanwy with anyone else in the room, but also because of their status as media icons. The only restaurant they could find that offered partitioned seating was the same restaurant they typically took their meetings with producers and studio executives.

“Did she tell you she demands roses and caviar or she isn’t putting out?” Monica pushed.

Gestalt found the number for the restaurant’s reservations and stepped onto the balcony to make the call. Dinner was one or two hours max. That wasn’t enough time to be alone with her. They’d have to come up with some other activity if they wanted to keep her with them any longer.

“You can tell me. Is she a gold digger? Should I knock her lights out?”

“Shut it.”

“Just tell me. It can’t possibly be worse than what I’ve already assumed.”

Gestalt let out a heavy sigh and pressed their fingers into their eyes. “She said she trusted me.”

Monica frowned and leaned back against the counter. “Well, shit.”

Gestalt sighed again and nodded to agree with the sentiment. Eliza clicked through information on the London Eye. They could reserve a gondola just for them. Private, secluded, romantic. There were also private cruises down the Thames. A walk through St. James’ Park. They scratched their heads in thought. What would Myfanwy enjoy? Drinks? They could find a private bar. There might have been one on the floor above the restaurant. Not that they could remember.

Their research was extensive. From what they had read, the suggested wait time for sex with a new partner was three dates. At least, that was the suggestion they had decided to go with. Others put forth absurd times like a month or ninety days. Three dates they could knock out in a weekend. They could have her in their bed as soon as Monday if they played their cards right.

Torture.

But worth it.

Especially if it gave them the chance to earn the trust that she gave so freely. They dressed quickly and fixed Eliza’s hair. They were at Myfanwy’s apartment by six thirty. Way too early. They turned on the radio and did their best to distract themselves as they waited.

Robert was in the front passenger seat so after fifteen minutes they sent that body out to ring for her. They were still too early. They pulled their hood down and paced in front of the building. At six fifty-five they could wait no longer. They hit the buzzer before they could remember to stop themselves.

They waited another full minute, but there was no answer. Four stomachs dropped. Maybe something had happened since their texts this morning. Or she had changed her mind and decided she didn’t want to go anywhere with them after all.

They pulled up the group chat on one of their phones – Eliza’s – and sent a text at the same time they rang the buzzer gain. They held their breath in all four bodies. Time stretched on as they waited for any sort of response. The intercom beeped at last and then her voice was crackling through the speakers blessedly.

“Just a minute. I’m on my way down.”

Gestalt let out a sigh of relief. They didn’t realize how tightly they were holding themselves until they caught sight of her through the glass door and felt all of their bodies relax. She pushed the door open and they grabbed it to hold it open.

“I fuckin’ _knew_ it’d be Robert if it was any of them!” A woman’s coarse voice exclaimed.

They looked beyond Myfanwy and noticed two women standing between Myfanwy and the elevator. They recognized the one in the wheelchair as the same person who’d been beside Myfanwy at both shows. The other one… looked like a dirty hippie. The one in the wheelchair smacked the hippie making her snarl viciously.

“What? You know she’s been in love with Robert forever. It was practically the first word out of your mouth when you surprised her with the tickets.”

Gestalt felt themselves grinning. She had been so careful not to pick a specific body to text that morning. She’d gone so far as to create a group chat for them. _So it _is_ Robert she has a preference for. Lucky thing I sent this one over the others._

“Bron! Shut up!” Myfanwy cried.

Gestalt was grinning ear to ear. The night was hardly begun and they’d already learned so much more about her.

“Hi,” they greeted to be polite. These were clearly the friend and sister she had mentioned. “I’m sorry. I seem to be a loss. You already know who I am.”

The woman in the wheelchair snapped her mouth shut and shook her head. “I’m Ingrid.”

“Bronwyn,” the dirty hippie announced gruffly. “I’m Myf’s overprotective sister.”

She said it like a warning, but Gestalt only cared about Myfanwy. Myfanwy who looked helpless and irritated. And so. Darn. Cute!

“You’re the one that stole her away from me last night,” they accused. They were still irritated about that. _Why did she have to answer her phone_?

Bronwyn’s mouth fell open in shock. Myfanwy’s face turned beet red. The color moved down her neck and then she was shoving them backwards out the door. She called back over her shoulder at the two women they were leaving behind.

Gestalt laughed gently and moved her hands off their chest. The three bodies waiting in the Range Rover flexed their hands. They twisted their fingers through hers as they walked back to the Range Rover. They opened the front passenger door for her and climbed in back.

Now that they had her with them, they were downright giddy. She pouted when they declined telling her where they were off to. She was in top form tonight. Every reaction and facial expression drove them wild with emotions ranging from protectiveness to lust.

When they got closer to the high rise, they held up the blindfold. They were ready for her to argue with them over it, but they were taking her ‘surprise me’ and running with it. She looked at the strip of fabric like it was a snake that might bite her. They weren’t going to force her. They had decided that everything they did from here out would be her choice. Including trusting them.

She turned and let them tied the blindfold over her eyes. Her hair was still remarkably soft even done in the careful waves and curls as it was. They resisted running their fingers through it and pulled away to sit back. They stopped at the valet and helped her out of the SUV.

Eager for more contact, they linked their hands again. She squeezed their hand and then swung her other hand around blindly reaching for another. They smiled and gave her Eliza’s. Her touch ran deep. Warming all eight palms at once.

There were more people in the lobby than they had anticipated. It couldn’t be helped. Their meetings usually took place at lunchtime on the weekdays. This was a Saturday evening. It was naturally busier. They moved around her so that they could shield her from wandering eyes as much as possible. Just because they were famous didn’t mean Myfanwy would appreciate seeing her face splashed across every tabloid in the country.

Once they were in the lift, they took off her blindfold. They finally got a proper look at her. She was more done up than usual. Her blue eyes gleamed up at them. Her lips were a slightly darker pink than normal. She looked mouthwatering. It was almost enough to make them turn around and drive her straight back to the loft and pick up their original plans from the morning.

Fortunately, the lift doors opened then and they were able to walk out and continued with their planned date. _Woo her_. They had to keep reminding themselves. It was only getting more difficult the longer they spent with her. They were imagining reaching over and untying the halter to her green dress. Fitting her breasts into their hands. Pulling her nipples between their teeth. Fucking her until the sun came up and they were all too exhausted to go on.

Myfanwy stared down at the menu. Stared wasn’t quite right. She was scowling. Gestalt was losing their nerve. They checked their own menus. There were vegan and vegetarian options. They wondered what was frustrating her more than the prices. They had told her not to worry about it. They may not have ever taken anyone on a date before, but they knew the general principle. The woo-er always paid for the woo-ee. 

She didn’t hear them when their waitress came to take their drinks order. She was frazzled and distracted. Mostly she looked upset. They fucked up somehow. They may not get to date two at this rate. Let alone date three.

“Have I done something?” She asked.

Gestalt stared at her in surprise. What could she have possibly done? She was perfect. Patient. Forgiving. It was they who’d fucked up.

Apparently, she didn’t think so. She asserted that it had only been a while since she’d been on a date. It seemed a crime that someone like her hadn’t been courted by every single man and woman within a thousand miles. Not that Gestalt was complaining. They were glad to have her now and would not be sharing her for the world thank you very much.

The ‘getting to know her’ bit was more difficult than they’d thought. They routinely fucked it up. First by telling her that her long time boss was a registered EVA and old friends with their manager and then again when they’d said something crass about her parents. Who then turned out to be dead. To top it off, they essentially admitted to having her drugged the night they met. By the time the check came, Gestalt was near to positive they would not be getting a second date.

They hoped their next activity was enough to make up for their disastrous dinner. Predictably, her enthusiasm had waned. Gestalt tried to take heart from the fact that she held their hands again as they walked back to the lift. 

They had no idea if she was intentionally alluring them by leaning into their chest as the lift descended or if it was just because she was tired. They settled their hands on her hips and held her carefully away from their crotch. The last thing they needed was a picture of them sporting a stiffy on the cover of a tabloid. It’d be a cherry on the shit sundae of the night so far.

They helped her back into the Range Rover and headed toward the London Eye. They were running through other options as they went. Maybe they should just jump the gun and get on a plane to Paris. It was late. It might do better to take a train. A walk around the Louvre or maybe they could take her to Disneyland. 

“Gestalt?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“Yes?”

She was quiet for a beat as she thought through her next words. “If I ask for something will you promise not to make me feel like an awful person for it?”

Four hearts cracked in preparation for the ultimate break. She wanted them to take her home. She wanted to forget about the rest of the evening and just curl up in bed alone. She wanted to delete their numbers and go about the rest of her life as if she’d never met them.

“You can ask me for anything.” _I’ll do anything for you. Even if it means letting you go._

They put on some fake cheer to ease her guilt over dumping them. “Do you want me to kill someone for you?” _Myselves maybe?_

She actually laughed at that. A glimmer of hope ran through them. They were about five blocks from the London Eye.

Gestalt leaned forward and took her hand in theirs. If it was to be their last moments with her, they’d make them last. “What do you want?”

She stared for a half a minute before uttering, “You.” Gestalt didn’t think they heard her correctly. She continued. “Bed.” So she wanted to go home after all. She cleared her throat. “I want you to take me to bed.”

Gestalt slammed the brakes. The force of the stop made Myfanwy swing forward, ripping her hand out of theirs. They apologized profusely, but were still too stunned to do much else but sit for a second and let the information wash over them. Then, they turned the car around and started back to their apartment as fast as they could.

Myfanwy buried her face in her hands and ducked down in her seat. “Forget about it.” She mumbled between her fingers.

“Not bloody likely,” they ground out. Their knuckles were white as they squeezed the devil out of the steering wheel.

They turned into their parking garage and parked the car haphazardly across several lines and shut the ignition off. They were out of the car in seconds. Myfanwy still hadn’t moved. They opened her door and waited for her to move.

“Did you change your mind?”

She jerked into action, moving to unbuckle herself. They grimaced as Monica’s words ran through their heads. Lasting relationships was learning people outside of the kinky shit. More than anything they wanted this relationship to last.

“Wait. Just….” They cursed themselves. They were so close. A lift ride to the loft and they’d have her. “I was going to do this right. I’ve done nothing but behave monstrously towards you. I abducted you, _drugged _you –” As she had so kindly pointed out – “put you in a vulnerable position before shocking you with the truth about what I am and blaming you for how you reacted.” They groaned as they realized just what an absolute piece of shit they really had been. “Kissing you so forcefully last night I wouldn’t blame you if you told me to fuck off forever.” And if she wasn’t planning on it before she definitely was now that they’d laid all their sins on the table. “Tonight was meant to be my chance to make up for it all. I swore I would take things slow. Woo you.” They took four deep breaths. “Tell me now. Do you want to go home?”

They used all four voices now. A reminder to just what had made her flee from them a week prior. “Have you changed your mind?”

She smiled then. A small smile. Not quite happy. She pushed them back as she moved out of the seat. “You’re right. There was a lot of shady shit in there, but you and I remember things very differently.” Her voice had changed drastically. Her eyes were heavy with lust. They brought their hands up to her hips. She leaned forward toward them. “So far the kissing has been the best part.” She moved her lips over to their ear. “Consider me wooed, Gestalt, and take me the fuck to bed.”

They didn’t need any further encouragement. They slammed the car door shut and shoved her against it, crushing their lips to hers. She twisted into them. They pulled themselves back into the moment. They were definitely about to fuck her, but they weren’t going to do it in the middle of a parking garage. They eased her back to the lift calling it before they’d even reached it together. They used their other hands to move her back into the lift.

She turned in their arms and found another waiting set ready to meet her. She worked at their clothing desperately. Her fingers worked at Teddy’s tie, but instead of loosening it, she was near strangling them. They had to pull her hands away and undo it themselves. She slid her shoes off without breaking from their kiss.

They undressed as they walked. It’d be too much for her to try and undress them all and they were less than patient. They’d been thinking about this moment for weeks. They’d spent the whole day convincing themselves to wait for it. Build to it. Knowing that it wasn’t necessary made it impossible for them to take things slowly.

She reached up to undo her dress when a feral impulse went through them. They’d thought about taking her dress off since they’d seen her through the door of her apartment building. She didn’t put up a fight about it. She let them carry her up the stairs smattering kisses everywhere she could reach. Goosebumps were raised on all four bodies.

They weren’t sure how much she’d be comfortable with. They figured they’d start off slow. The most they’d ever done was a two to one with one very enthusiastic fan. With Myfanwy the only thing they wanted was to be with her in their entirety. But not if that meant scaring her off.

Turned out, Myfanwy would not be scared. She turned and dragged Eliza right onto the bed with her. She kissed and licked and sucked as if she knew them as well as they knew themselves. Enough so that she had them coming before they knew they were almost there.

Rage burned in them. How could they be so careless? They were meant to be giving her a night to remember. A truly good shagging that would keep her coming back for more. And instead it was _her_ fucking them into oblivion. They ordered themselves to step it up, but she kept showing them up.

They made her come twice before giving her time to breathe. She didn’t seem to want it. That was when things got weird. Not bad. The opposite in fact. Somehow she sent shockwaves rocking through all four of their bodies at once. They came in one great burst. The sensation ricocheted between their bodies leaving them lying mostly numb in the suddenly pitch black apartment.

They were vaguely aware of Myfanwy’s panic. Completely unwarranted they thought. Although it was looking like a real possibility that they would never move again. It felt like the orgasm was still coursing through them even minutes after. 

They were entirely too exhausted to think about having another go. Even after Myfanwy left for the bathroom. They had to convince her to sleep when she came back. They had no idea how they managed to keep her with them. Not when they were such an obvious disappointment. She’d given them the best sex of their lives and they’d barely managed to get her off three times. Their previously held sexual confidence was kicked into the gutter. They knew they’d have to step up their game if they had any hope of keeping Myfanwy around.

And now there was nothing they wanted more.

Especially when she tried to leave the following night. Their desire to do anything for her overrode their own selfishness. They drove her home working out their next move the whole time. They had a flight Wednesday that would take them out of town for two weeks. They needed to see her again before then.

Fortunately, she invited them up to her apartment. She was hot and wet and waiting and her _fucking_ sister was there.

Gestalt was working very hard to hide their annoyance at the little nuisance. But then she mentioned the Checquy and Gestalt’s interest switched directions. They had assumed she’d never been at any EVA institute and they didn’t remember her from their time at the Checquy, which was strange.

They thought back to the most unpleasant time of their lives. There was no memory of an EVA with her abilities. They didn’t remember flickering lights before the fire. They remembered a lot, though. They remembered the kids they talked to whenever they lunched in the mess hall. They remembered compartmentalization lessons. And combat lessons. And interrogation one-oh-one. But Myfanwy Thomas was not in any of those memories.

They remembered their promised future. The bleak outlook of eternal servitude to the organization that raised them. The life set out for them with no hope of anything more than the strict rules they had followed their whole lives.

They wouldn’t know it until she told them, but the day they watched the white coats wheel the girl in on a gurney was the day their future would change. She wasn’t completely conscious, Gestalt could see that, but she was mumbling under her breath incoherently. They planned to ask her about her mumblings when they eventually saw her in the mess hall, but she never showed.

After a week, Gestalt went looking. They found her in Quarantine on Level Three. The Checquy only ever quarantined sick or dangerous individuals. They couldn’t figure out which she was meant to be. Some days they would see her pacing back and forth across her small cell. Others she would lie near catatonic on the cot and stare emptily at the wall.

The rumors started after only a week. That she was volatile. Explosive. That her EVA was one of the most dangerous the Checquy had ever seen. She’d fallen from a roof before she’d unlocked her power. She’d injured both her parents in the incident. They’d sent a psychiatrist to help her cope. After a month, word spread that she had attacked him with a fork. When asked why, they’d been answered with a simple, ‘She’s crazy.’

Gestalt had always known there was more to the story. Just like they’d known it had been an EVA to burn down the Checquy no matter how Conrad denied it. But they hadn’t cared. They were free. 

To find out they owed that freedom to Myfanwy of all people. That she looked at the same event that they rejoiced in with absolute horror made them heartsick. They held her as she sobbed out her trauma. 

It wasn’t until the first rays of sunlight turned the sky from black to grey that Gestalt found themselves accepting the new, hard and true fact. Though it had never before happened to them and they were hard pressed to believe it never would, they had fallen in love. And Deep. They were in love with Myfanwy Thomas with all four of their hearts and whatever soul they had.


	11. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy is offered many words of warning regarding her relationship. She takes solace in Gestalt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we return to our regularly scheduled program....

Myfanwy awoke to her phone alarm going off at five thirty alone. Lucky she’d had her phone charging at Gestalt’s or she would have been late to work with or without Gestalt’s help. She stared at the numbers flashing at her from her bedside table. It was a good sign.

She rolled towards her closet and selected a black tulip skirt and a floral print shirt. Nobody would guess her taste in music based on her fashion sense. She took them down the hall and into the bathroom.

She contemplated where her life had gone as the warm water took away the residual puffiness under her eyes from crying the night before. She had a fleeting thought as to whether she had imagined the entire affair. She touched her inner thigh where she had been bruised during one of their more frantic joinings. She had definitely not imagined it.

She washed and dressed and blow dried her hair. She quickly added a flick of mascara and her nude lipstick before deciding she was ready for work. She would stop by her usual coffee shop and grab a bagel and a tea on her way in.

She was all the way down the hall before she realized she wasn’t alone. Robert was in her kitchen with his back turned toward her. A hand towel was thrown over his shoulder as he worked. He was humming to himself softly. A tune Myfanwy couldn’t quite hear enough to identify.

She was still barefoot. She assumed he hadn’t heard her yet. Myfanwy shifted her weight to the balls of her feet and crept behind him. She stopped behind him, arms raised as she debated her best move. She could try and tickle him. Not that she knew whether any of Gestalt’s bodies were ticklish or not. She could just aim for scaring him. 

“You like eggs sunny-side up?” He asked as conversationally as if she were standing in front of him.

Myfanwy deflated. She snaked her hands around his waist and pressed her face into his shoulder as she peeked at his handiwork. Two croque monsieurs were frying in the pan. It looked a million times better than her usual plain bagel.

“Do you cook breakfast for all your sexual conquests?” She teased, nipping his earlobe playfully.

Gestalt flipped the sandwiches onto plates and shut off the oven before turning in her arms to face her. He grinned down at her and ran his hands up and down her arms.

“Just the ones that give me orgasms in all four bodies at once.” They kissed her lightly, holding her face steady with one hand.

“Well, as long as that’s still just me.” Myfanwy pulled back and looked down at the food. “Am I allowed to eat that?”

Gestalt picked up both plates and carried them to the dining table. “I made coffee, too.”

Myfanwy frown and poured herself a glass of orange juice instead. “I don’t drink coffee,” she explained as she met them at the table.

Robert waited for her to take a bite before starting in on theirs. He frowned at the glass of orange juice. “Why do you have it if you don’t drink it?”

“Bronwyn,” Myfanwy shrugged. “She used to whine every time she stayed over about how she had to run to the café every morning just for coffee. If there’s anything Bronwyn’s good at, it’s wearing me down.” Myfanwy smiled into her sandwich.

Gestalt finished their sandwich and sat quietly. She could tell they were holding back from saying something. She finished her breakfast and her orange juice before she asked.

“Having some coffee related crisis?” She jabbed.

Gestalt twisted their mouth and wrinkled their nose. They gave a great sigh and shifted in their seat. “I was just thinking that you care a lot for your sister. You do a lot of things for her benefit.”

Myfanwy stood and took their plates and cups into the kitchen where they would sit in the sink until she made it home to wash them. “She’s my little sister.” She thought that should explain everything. Who wouldn’t do anything for their sibling?

“It’s interesting to see that she doesn’t seem to hold you in the same regard.”

Myfanwy turned to him with a frown. “Bronwyn cares for me more than anyone in the world.” Indignation welled in her chest. “You don’t know anything about her. Or me. You don’t know the things she’s done or the sacrifices she’s made. You’ve laid eyes on her twice and said less than ten words to her.”

Gestalt threw their hands up in mock surrender. “Alright. Sorry. I’m sorry. I suppose I was thinking in terms of last night. And you never seem happy when you talk about her.”

“She was concerned about me. About my safety. Not all of us have international fame to protect us from Vultures. You have your P.R. people and I have Bron. As for the way I look when I talk about her, she’s my little sister. Annoying me is, like, her job.”

Myfanwy checked the time on her phone and let out a frustrated growl. She didn’t have time for an argument. She was already late.

“I’m sorry. You’re right and I was wrong to make assumptions.” Gestalt was backpedaling as they moved toward her.

They touched the back of her hand tentatively. She pulled away and grabbed her purse. “I don’t have time to get into this, Gestalt. I’m already running late as it is.”

Gestalt swallowed and looked down. “I don’t want you to leave cross with me.”

Myfanwy sighed and patted his cheek lightly. “How about you pick me up from work on Friday and we can spend all weekend fighting or fucking. Whichever.”

She moved to the door and pulled it open nodding him out into the hall. Robert shoved his hands into his pockets the way they usually reserved for the Alex body. She liked that they let their guard down so much for her.

“I wanted to talk to you about that, actually. I won’t be able to see you for a while. I have to leave Wednesday afternoon for Belgium. I have the last leg of my tour to finish up.” 

Myfanwy felt her heart plummet as they walked down the stairs. She couldn’t believe she had let herself forget just who it was she was in bed with. She had grown selfish. She let herself think they were all hers and hers alone. She choked down her greed.

“How long will you be gone?” She was proud that her voice didn’t belie her pain.

“Ten days on this bit. I’ll be back for three days before I finish off in Spain and France. Then I’ve just got a couple festivals in the summer.” Gestalt said this all so easily. Like they were nothing more than colleagues discussing business trips. It made Myfanwy feel like an idiot. Just because she knew she was in love with them didn’t mean the feeling was mutual.

“Myfanwy?” Robert grabbed her coat sleeve and pulled her to a stop.

“I’m fine,” she said automatically.

Gestalt smiled. “That’s good. I actually asked if you wanted to come to mine tonight. I can pick you up from work.”

Myfanwy considered it. If she let them take her home tonight, she knew she wouldn’t be in any mood to go to work tomorrow. If she didn’t go home with them, it’d be at least two weeks before she saw them again and at most a month. Neither option agreed with her, but she knew which one bothered her more.

“Don’t decide now. Text me when you’re off. I’m not doing anything the rest of the day. Just let me know.” Gestalt said quickly, unaware that she had already made up her mind.

“Oh my God!” A girl’s voice shrieked. “Is that Robert Gestalt?”

Myfanwy looked over her shoulder at a trio of school aged girls clustered on the sidewalk. Gestalt’s arm swung around her waist and steered her into his Mercedes.

“Get a picture! Take a picture!” She heard one of the other girls hissing.

Myfanwy ducked her head, hoping she was hidden quickly enough to avoid another tabloid cover. She watched Robert through the window as he quickly rounded the hood and climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Never would’ve happened if you’d just agreed to leave from my place,” he told her in a singsong. He pulled away from the curb and started off in the direction of King’s Inc.

“Never would’ve made it to the car if I’d listened to you,” she sang back.

Robert smirked and touched her bare knee keeping his eyes dutifully on the road. Myfanwy pressed her lips together as his fingers inched up beneath the fabric of her skirt. She shifted slightly, letting her knees fall apart as he got closer and closer to her center.

“You can still change your mind.”

Myfanwy bit the inside of her lip. The effect they had on her was maddening. That they should be able to turn her into barely more than a hormone driven teenager with a touch was ludicrous. 

“It’s things like this that make ti so hard to agree to seeing you on work nights.” She crossed her legs and tugged her skirt down over her knee. Gestalt sighed dejectedly and replaced his hand on the steering wheel. Myfanwy shifted until she was leaned against the door. She should have brought spare panties.

Too soon, Robert pulled the Mercedes in front of her office. Myfanwy unfastened her seatbelt and leaned across the console. Gestalt was waiting for her. They kissed her back eagerly. As if it weren’t hard enough to remember the real world whenever she was with them.

She pulled away at great personal cost and opened the door.

“Call me!” Gestalt shouted at her as she shut the door.

Myfanwy knew she’d be lucky to make it to the elevator before she was texting them to pick her up at five and not a minute later.

* * *

The meeting dragged. They all dragged, really. Myfanwy felt it especially today. She was relieved when the clients finally stood and said their final goodbyes. Myfanwy collected her files and met Ingrid back in her office.

“These need to be filed,” she said as she sat the files on her friend’s lap. Ingrid snapped at an intern and handed the files off with her instructions. She followed Myfanwy into her office.

“You know I don’t normally pay attention to tabloids,” Ingrid started. Myfanwy flopped down into her desk and pulled out the Greenberg file.

“If you’re going to get on my case about people from the Checquy potentially recognizing me, Bron already covered it.” Myfanwy clicked through her computer until she found the right reports and began her verification process.

“Right, well, would you at least explain just what is going on?”

Myfanwy glanced over at her and shrugged. “Paparazzi are a risk that come with dating famous people.”

Ingrid scowled at her. “Myfanwy, you left Saturday with one Gestalt and fifteen minutes later you were photographed with all four. And holding hands with _two_.”

Myfanwy frowned and looked back at her computer. “I was blindfolded. They were helping me keep my balance.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Myfanwy Thomas. I know there’s more than you’re telling.”

Myfanwy groaned and fixed Ingrid with her full attention. “Ingrid, you are my best friend. You know I trust you more than my own sister.” Ingrid’s frown deepened, but her eyes were soft. “But this is not my secret to tell. I’m sure you can understand that.”

Ingrid’s mouth twisted thoughtfully. “I know from Bronwyn that you didn’t make it home until late Sunday evening. So?”

Myfanwy felt a warmth rise in her cheeks and she dropped her eyes back to the file on her desk. She fiddled with her pen. “Let’s just say the phrase ‘multiple orgasm’ has a whole new meaning now.”

Ingrid’s eyebrows shot up. She started to squeal when a knock at Myfanwy’s office door made them both look up.

“May I interrupt?” Linda Farrier asked.

Ingrid jumped into motion, wheeling herself back out of the office without so much as a good day.

Myfanwy gave her boss a tight smile and went on with her work. It was difficult to look at Linda knowing what she knew now. Not out of prejudice, but out of worry. Myfanwy had a feeling she’d let something slip and give away that she knew what her boss was. She was registered. It wasn’t a huge secret. But it was sure to open the door to Myfanwy’s own secrets and she didn’t want those to become common knowledge.

“Myfanwy, how long have we known each other?”

Myfanwy didn’t look up from her scribbling. “Since I was eighteen.” She let her hand fall to a stop. “You hired me as an intern when I was in college.”

“College. God, but time does fly!” Linda moved in, bypassing the couch pushed against her wall to take a seat in one of Myfanwy’s armchairs. “I’ve never told you this, but there was a reason that I selected you over the other applicants. You’ll remember that King’s Incorporated was still a budding company when you started. We were barely five years old then. Still getting our legs.”

Myfanwy fiddled with her pen again. “Reason more than that I was the most qualified candidate?”

Linda pursed her lips and leaned forward to rest her arms on Myfanwy’s desk. “Do you know what I did before starting my own company?”

Myfanwy had guesses. Guesses she wouldn’t have had if the same question had been posed to her last Friday. She hedged on something EVA related, but she would never say it out loud. She shook her head.

Linda smiled placidly. “I headed up a little government agency. I’ve often wondered how much you remembered from that time. You were so young. So plagued by grief and guilt and other emotions I couldn’t begin to comprehend. I’ll admit I was afraid you would hate me should I admit to it.”

Myfanwy fit the pieces together. Her heart had turned to lead as it settled in the pit of her gut.

“Fifteen years ago, I was in charge of a government facility in charge of identification, acquisition, and training of people with extreme variant abilities. You know it as the Checquy. After it burned down, the government labeled me at fault and fired me in favor of a new hire running the replacement center, Glengrove. And I started King’s Inc.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Myfanwy knew she said the words, but she couldn’t feel herself actually speaking.

“I have distanced myself in many ways from the Checquy and Glengrove House, but there are a few colleagues from my time there that I have kept in contact with. “ Linda pulled her upper lip between her teeth. “I understand you met with Conrad Grantchester not long ago.”

“Why is that your business?” Myfanwy curled her hands into fists on her desk. It didn’t stop the lights from beginning to flicker.

“He called me a few weeks back regarding you. Truth be told, he was more concerned with protecting his precious cash cow than you, but he indicated some concern regarding your relationship with the Gestalt.”

Myfanwy didn’t know what was worse, that her boss had been in charge of the agency that had ruined her life or that that same boss was trying to instruct her on just how she should pick up the pieces _she_ made. 

“I wasn’t going to bring it up. You are both consenting adults capable of making your own decisions.” Linda shifted and withdrew one of the six tabloids Bronwyn had mentioned the night before. “But I found this.” She set it on Myfanwy’s desk displaying the front page. The picture of Myfanwy blindfolded walking guided by Gestalt’s hands. Myfanwy dropped her pen. “I don’t want to tell you how to live your life –”

“Then don’t.” Myfanwy stopped herself from more biting words by grinding her teeth together. “Do you know it’s been six years since I last took a day off.? That’s sick days and holidays. I stay late at the office almost every night making sure that the reports are in order. Making sure every _decimal_ is in its proper place. I’m here weekends and holidays when we get overrun with accounts. I’m the person the other employees come to when they have a problem. And I never ask for recognition. I never demand further compensation for my due diligence. So the idea that I should be expected to give away any more of myself to you or to anyone else is very nearly laughable. I might be inclined to laughter if the whole situation didn’t piss me off so much.”

“Please. I never meant to come off judgmental or even disapproving. I only intended to offer a word of caution. Gestalt has layers of protection built around them. They’ve had years of professional training lost to you. They have Conrad and a whole slew of P.R. specialists not to mention being a constant figure in the public eye. Even if their condition were to get out, they couldn’t go missing without a worldwide scandal. None of that applies to you. Many of my old Checquy colleagues work at Glengrove House now, but there are a few that found Vulture business more lucrative. I just want you to be safe. I always saw this as my second chance at saving you. I don’t want to screw that up, too.”

Myfanwy stared down at her desk for a few moments as she processed everything. She knew Linda meant well. God, she had known her for nearly half her life. If she’d ever meant her harm she could’ve had her shipped off to Glengrove at the drop of a pin. 

Even Bronwyn and Ingrid had meant well. Myfanwy was just as aware that they weren’t unjustified in their worry and fear. Ingrid’s brother had been killed by Vultures. Myfanwy had been spirited away to the Checquy when she was only fourteen. Horror stories of Glengrove House circulated regularly.

She knew the dangers. Three weeks ago, Myfanwy might’ve taken their words of caution for gospel. She might not have gone with Alex when Gestalt invited her back to their place. She might never have gotten in that hot tub. Or she might’ve told Ingrid to sell the tickets and been done with it. But it was too late now. If she was really honest, it had been too late since the lights went out in that bar.

Myfanwy closed the Greenberg file and pushed herself up from her desk. She grabbed up her coat and purse. She might’ve been able to move past Linda’s interference had she not simultaneously admitted to her involvement in Myfanwy’s personal nightmare. She started for the door.

“I’m suddenly feeling very unwell, Linda. I think I’m going to head home.” She stopped at the door to her office and waited for Farrier to rise and follow her out.

“Myfanwy, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Might not be back in tomorrow, either. Feels like a serious bug.”

She left without a goodbye to Linda or Ingrid. She went to the underground with every intention of simply going home. Locking herself in her apartment and losing her mind for a while. Instead, she found herself in the lift to Gestalt’s penthouse. She keyed in the floor code and worked to keep her emotions from breaking the damned thing.

Music was playing when the doors opened into the penthouse. Monica appeared in front of her first. Her hands were curled into fists before she recognized her and dropped her protective stance. She saw Alex next. He was just behind Monica holding a tablet. He set it on the counter carefully as he regarded her with curious concern.

“Myfanwy?”

She was no longer in the mood for talking. She threw her purse blindly toward the kitchen counter and leapt up to catch Gestalt’s mouth with hers. Their arms went around her immediately. Myfanwy dug her fingers into their bouncy curls and sighed into their kiss. Alex pressed her back into the wall between the foyer and the kitchen.

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Monica announced. Mayfanwy was only half aware of her moving past them to the lift.

Alex’s hands went to her skirt, easing it up her legs until he could slide her panties off. Myfanwy fumbled at his belt and pants. She only pushed them down far enough to free him.

“Bed,” Gestalt grated.

Myfanwy shook her head. “Here.” She kissed him hard. “Now.”

A condom appeared from nowhere. Alex lifted her up, bracing her back against the wall. Myfanwy leaned her head back as his entered her. She let out a whimper as her walls tightened around him. She felt Alex nip lightly at her neck. Her hands held his head to her neck.

Alex shifted her as he pumped his hips so that he had one hand free. Myfanwy lifted her legs to cross her ankles more securely behind their back. In doing so she was able to take him deeper inside her. Alex braced himself against the wall with his newly freed hand for just a second before moving it between them to work at her clit.

Myfanwy used her grip on Gestalt’s head to pull them up for another kiss. It wasn’t the best kiss. Mostly they just panted into one another’s open mouths. A long, loud whine started in the back of her throat as she reached her climax. She was relieved to have her EVA activated out of pleasure over anger.

Alex waited until she came back down before chasing his own orgasm. He mercifully held her up against the wall for a few minutes more before kissing her cheek, jaw, and neck and setting her back on her feet.

“Forgive me for this morning, I take it?” Gestalt smiled. She was surrounded.

“Shut up.” She turned and grabbed the next closest Gestalt body and pulled their lips together.

She felt them all around her. Myfanwy knew she’d been on edge. She just didn’t realize how heavy it was sitting on her. Not until it was lifted from her as if it were no heavier than a veil. In her suddenly cleared vision, all she could see was Gestalt.


	12. Work Schmork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy spends some quality time with the Eliza body.

Someone kissed Myfanwy’s back. The lips moved up to her shoulder. Her neck. Her cheek. Myfanwy inhaled deeply and turned so she could return the kiss. She didn’t open her eyes until they pulled away and even then she kept them mostly shut choosing to peek out through her lashes instead.

“You know how much I love having you in my bed,” Eliza murmured, nuzzling her cheek, “but I’m pretty sure you need to get up to shower and change now.”

Myfanwy wrinkled her brow. “Why?”

Gestalt laughed breathily. “Don’t you have work? I’m determined not to make you regret seeing me on a weeknight.”

Myfanwy groaned and shoved her face into the pillow. “Work schmork.”

Eliza mock gasped. “Myfanwy Thomas! Are you skipping work?”

Myfanwy growled into her pillow. “I could kill you.”

Eliza kissed her neck again. “I know.” Her voice was all adoration and no fear. Eliza’s hand pet through Myfanwy’s tangled hair. “Are you really staying today?”

Apparently the conversation was not going to end any time soon. Myfanwy stretched and rolled onto her back. The bed was emptied save her and Eliza. “I suppose not if you already have plans for today.”

Eliza smiled and leaned down to kiss her deeply. Myfanwy squeezed her thigh and pulled her over so that Eliza was sprawled on top of her. “My plans are flexible. For instance, I _was_ going to send you to shower and finish making breakfast before taking you to work.” Eliza stopped and kissed her again. “Now I think I’m going to tie you to my bed and introduce you to a few of my toys.”

Myfanwy moved her hands around and squeezed Eliza’s ass firmly. “_You’re_ going to tie _me_ up?”

Gestalt grinned at her and sat. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

Myfanwy frowned. She wasn’t going into the office. She may never go back again. Not with what she’d learned of Farrier. She sighed and brought her hands up between them with her wrists together. “Do your worst.”

Eliza beamed at her and dropped a quick peck on her lips before rolling off the bed. “How about I do my best instead?”

She disappeared into their closet. Myfanwy felt a mixture of fear and excitement swirling in her belly. She’d never had anything but the most vanilla of sex. She hadn’t even been all that interested in the whole _Fifty Shades of Grey_ phenomenon. Gestalt made everything irresistible.

Eliza came back out holding strips of silk, a bottle of lube, and various sex toys. Myfanwy sat up and scooted back towards the headboard eyeing the items warily. Eliza dropped her cargo on the bed and crawled over to kiss her.

“You don’t have to do anything. You aren’t going to hurt my feelings,” Gestalt promised. “You can even go and get dressed for work if you’d like. Just say the word.”

Myfanwy shook her head, but couldn’t help casting another uncertain look at everything Gestalt had brought out. “I’ve just never….” She wrinkled her nose in embarrassment. “First time for everything?”

Gestalt chuckled and kissed her lightly again. “We’ll go slow. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Alright?” 

Myfanwy swallowed and nodded. Eliza picked up her silk and tied one strip around each of her wrists. She stopped after each to kiss Myfanwy before moving to the next. It wasn’t until she tied her wrists to the headboard that Myfanwy’s heart started pounding in her chest so hard she could hear it in her ears.

Eliza stopped and kissed her again. Her tongue swirled around Myfanwy’s driving her wild and somehow calming her down at the same time. When Eliza pulled back, Myfanwy made to grab her back. Gestalt smirked at her knowingly before moving down to do the same to her ankles.

“Where are your other bodies?” Myfanwy asked, trying to distract herself from what was happening.

“Teddy is with Monica at the studio recording instrumentals for Sparks and Robert and Alex are at a press junket. I’ll have to switch Teddy and Eliza bodies in an hour or so, but until then….” They tied Myfanwy’s legs to the end of the bed, pulling her body down as she did.

Myfanwy took a deep breath and shut her eyes. Her whole body trembled just as much in anticipation as fear. Gestalt laid down beside her and ran a finger down her cheek. She opened one eye to look at her.

“You know I would never, ever hurt you, yeah?” Eliza whispered.

Myfanwy tried to swallow back her fear and nodded.

“Do you want me to stop?”

A part of her wanted to say yes, but an even larger part of her wanted to keep going. To put her trust entirely in Gestalt’s capable hands and see how it all played out. She shook her head.

Eliza sighed and tucked Myfanwy’s hair behind her ear. “I need to hear you say it.”

Myfanwy didn’t really trust her voice, but she knew it was the only way to keep Gestalt moving. “I don’t want you to stop.” Her voice didn’t shake at all.

Gestalt kissed her again. Their hand moved over her belly. It flipped at her touch. Then they moved lower. Myfanwy squirmed and moved as much as the silk restraints would let her. Eliza’s hand disappeared and she pulled back.

“Tell me to stop if I do anything you don’t like.” 

Myfanwy nodded and leaned her head up after Eliza’s lips again, but she moved away. She gasped as Eliza slid a dildo along her entrance getting it slick with her natural lubricant before sliding it into her. The dildo had a ‘thumb’ that hit her clit as Gestalt worked it in and out of her slowly. Myfanwy didn’t know what she was expecting, but aside from being tied up, it still felt very vanilla.

Eliza flicked a switch on the dildo and it began to vibrate inside her. Myfanwy gave a cry and twisted her hips. She twisted her hands around her restraints to hold onto the silk. The lights blinked on and off as she came. Eliza flicked the vibrator off and pulled it away from her. 

“Still okay?” She ask, kissing Myfanwy lightly.

Myfanwy nodded breathlessly. “Mm.”

“Want to try something more?”

Myfanwy fluttered her eyelids. “More?”

“Unless you’re tired already?”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “Let’s not forget which one of us has to ask for sex breaks.”

Gestalt giggled and kissed her again. “Have you ever done anal?”

Myfanwy’s eyes widened. “No?” She squeaked.

Eliza pursed her lips. “Not at all?”

Myfanwy shook her head.

“Do you think it’s something you might want to try?”

Myfanwy couldn’t find her voice for a second. She cleared her throat. “It’s painful, though. Isn’t it?”

Eliza smiled softly. “Not if it’s done the right way. Once you’re used to it it feels good.”

Myfanwy frowned. “Have you?”

Gestalt nodded easily. Myfanwy bit the inside of her lip. She wanted to ask, but wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer. Eliza sighed. “Just ask.”

Myfanwy pressed her lips together. They read her so well. “Which body?”

Eliza ran her hand down Myfanwy’s body and back up again. “Teddy is the only one I haven’t with. It isn’t often either.”

Myfanwy swallowed this new information. She supposed it shouldn’t surprise her. Gestalt wasn’t just genderfluid they were multiple genders all at once. Pansexual didn’t seem like the right word to describe them. They were a sexuality all their own. Gestalt-sexual. 

“So?” They pressed.

Myfanwy blinked back at them forgetting the line of questioning almost all together.

“What do you say?”

She swallowed. “Okay?”

They narrowed their eyes at her. “Don’t just agree if you don’t really want to.”

Myfanwy scowled. “Well I don’t _know_, do I? Since I’ve never done it before.”

“Then say no.”

“I’m choosing to _trust_ you.”

Eliza lifted something from her pile and dangled it in front of Myfanwy. It was a link of silver balls in gradually increasing sizes. She met Gestalt’s eyes again.

“You sure?”

“Are those sanitary?”

Gestalt snorted then clamped their hand over their mouth and nose. “Shit.”

Myfanwy tilted her head at her. “What?”

“You caught me off guard. I just laughed at the interviewer.”

Myfanwy grinned. “You’re just lucky it’s not you tied to this bed.”

Eliza leaned down and kissed her to shut her up. Myfanwy heard something click and felt Eliza’s hand between her legs. Something cold touched her and then Eliza’s finger slipped inside her back end. Myfanwy locked up automatically. Gestalt sighed and pulled their finger back out.

“Myf, you –”

“It was just cold,” she lied. Eliza frowned at her. “Just… just keep going.”

Eliza squeezed a generous amount of lube onto the anal beads. They eyed Myfanwy as they did. “You have to stay relaxed. Tell me now if you don’t think you can do that.”

Myfanwy pressed her lips together and gave them a look of pure determination. Gestalt sighed and reached down to untie one of her legs. She pressed her leg up towards her chest. Myfanwy’s stomach was in knots. She forced herself to calm down. She felt the first bead slip inside her. It didn’t feel anything like she thought it would. Two more entered her.

“Still alright?” Eliza asked.

“Mhm.” Myfanwy was concentrating.

She started to squirm as the beads got larger. Eliza stopped and moved back up beside her. Myfanwy wrinkled her brow at her. 

“You don’t have to stop,” she started to argue.

Eliza kissed her. “I don’t have any more.”

“Oh.”

Eliza smiled and kissed her again. She moved and slipped on what looked like a pair of briefs. Myfanwy recognized them as a halter for a strap on. Eliza rolled back towards her and kissed her deep. Myfanwy groaned into her mouth. Gestalt pulled back and kissed down her neck to her chest. She pinched and suckled each of her nipples until they were hard as pearls. They continued down over her belly.

Myfanwy shut her eyes and twisted against her restraints. They kept Myfanwy’s leg held up against her chest as their tongue slipped between her folds. Myfanwy whimpered and pulled at the restraints on her wrists.

“Gestalt!” She whined.

They pulled back and moved over her. “Yes?”

Myfanwy rolled her hips up towards theirs. “Fuck me.”

Eliza ran her tongue over Myfanwy’s bottom lip before sliding it between her teeth to tangle with hers. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” She pushed inside her and Myfanwy’s eyes rolled back in her head.

Gestalt slid their hands up Myfanwy’s arms to her hands. They twined their fingers together as they thrust into her with expert precision. Myfanwy’s whole body began shaking as she reached the brink. Gestalt freed one hand and reached down. Just as she started to climax, they pulled the anal beads from her in one quick movement. Myfanwy screamed in pleasure as her orgasm rocked through her harder.

Her hand squeezed Eliza’s. She wanted to make Gestalt come as hard as they made her. The lights surged and then Eliza let out her own gasp and trembled over her. Myfanwy leaned up to catch her mouth and pull their upper lip between her teeth. Eliza pulled the dildo from her and rolled onto their back beside her.

They panted together in silence for a while. Finally, Gestalt rolled to the side to look at her. “Someday, you’re going to have to explain how you’re able to do that.”

“Do what?”

Eliza untied her wrists, kissing each wrist where the silk had reddened them. “Make me come without touching me.”

Myfanwy giggled. “You make it sound like I have any idea.”

Eliza nuzzled her neck. “Be that as it may, I think I need a little break.”

Myfanwy rolled and pulled Eliza into her arms. “No stamina.”

Gestalt growled. “You just wait. One of these days I’ll make you eat those words.”

Myfanwy smiled and leaned her forehead against their cheek. “Promises, promises.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am vanilla as shit. This is so far outside of my experience level. I am sorry. I tried.


	13. Strength, Power, Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt lets their possessive side show.

Myfanwy woke to an empty bed. She rolled over and sat up. She could hear Gestalt downstairs. Music was playing quietly as she scooted to the edge and pulled on Robert’s shirt and a pair of Alex’s sweatpants. She had to cinch them so they’d stay up on her hips.

Teddy looked up at her as she descended the stairs. They were all in the kitchen save Eliza. She remembered them saying something about needing to switch the bodies at the studio. She yawned and leaned on the island counter.

“Morning, sweetheart, have a good nap?” Teddy asked as Alex leaned across the counter to kiss her.

Myfanwy smiled contentedly. “What time is it?”

“Just after ten,” Robert supplied, pouring her a glass of orange juice.

Myfanwy used her foot to pull out one of the barstools and sit down. She could smell something cooking. Her stomach rumbled impatiently.

“Phone’s been going off like mad, by the way,” Alex slid her purse to her across the counter.

Myfanwy frowned and dug inside to pluck out her phone. She grimaced at the forty-one missed calls. “Fuck.” She opened her call list, unsurprised at the messages from Bronwyn and Ingrid. She scowled at the three missed calls from Linda and five from Michael in H.R.

“I think it’s nice to know you have so many people that care for you so greatly,” Robert suggested.

Myfanwy frowned at them. “So nice to be treated like a child all the time,” she muttered as she rolled her eyes. She dialed the HR Department and waited while the line rang.

“King’s Incorporated, Human Resources. This is Maggie. How can I direct your call?”

“Morning, Maggie, it’s Myfanwy. Is –”

“Myfanwy! We’ve all been in a tizzy!” Maggie cried. Myfanwy shut her eyes and sighed as the chatty receptionist continued. “It’s so unlike you not to come in to work. Is it true you’re dating Robert Gestalt? The rock star? Always loved that song, you know? The one that goes, um, _Wait ‘til I’m alone to really be myself_? You know that one?”

“Yeah, yep. I know that one. Listen, I know Mi–”

“So it’s true you’re dating him! Don’t suppose you’d be willing to set me up with Alex? I’ve always had a thing for drummers. Think it’s the rhythm, if you get my meaning. Truth be told, I’ve had a thing for Robert, too. He’s got such pretty fingers. Of course, _you’ll_ be knowing all about his fingers.”

“Maggie –”

“How did you meet him? I’ve asked Ingrid, but she’s been so stingy on the details. Won’t even admit that it’s you in the picture even though it’s completely obvious. And you were holding Eliza’s hand, too. Good that his siblings get along with you, too. My ex-boyfriend’s sister _hated_ me. She’s a big reason as to why we broke up, you know.”

Myfanwy hadn’t called Ingrid to avoid just this sort of conversation. In hindsight, Maggie was much worse. She’d have to remember that in the future.

“Maggie! Put me through to Michael.”

She shouted a bit more harshly than she’d meant. Gestalt had frozen and three sets of eyes stared at her in slightly varied concern. Myfanwy gave them a tight smile and shook her head. 

“Oh,” Maggie was quiet a beat. “Just a mo’.”

_I’ll be paying for that later_. She knew Maggie would likely be on the phone to Ingrid the second Michael picked up.

Teddy set a plate in front of her with beans, sausage, and toast. Myfanwy tilted her head back to kiss him in thanks. They moved behind her and wrapped their arms around her waist. 

“Myfanwy!” Michael cried when he answered. “Where’ve you been?”

“Just –” Nobody seemed to want to let Myfanwy get a word in edgewise today.

“I was worried you’d been ax murdered or something. Office falls apart when you aren’t here, you know.”

Myfanwy cleared her throat. “I’m fine, thanks, Michael. I even spoke to Linda yesterday about taking the day off. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.”

“Really? She seemed just as in the trees as I was when you didn’t show.”

Myfanwy couldn’t help but think that was a lie. Linda seemed to know more about her than even she did. There was no doubt in her mind that Linda Farrier knew exactly where she was. And who she was with.

“Well, while I have you one the phone, I should tell you I won’t be in tomorrow either.”

“Are you ill?” Michael asked at the same time Gestalt said;

“Yes, you will.”

Myfanwy looked across the counter to Alex and Robert. Teddy sighed in her ear.

“I leave tomorrow, remember?”

“Gone ten days?”

Myfanwy’s heart dropped. She’d managed to forget again. 

“Who is that?” Michael asked in her ear.

“How early is your flight?” She slid her hand over the receiver.

“Noon.”

Teddy kissed her cheek and neck and squeezed their arms tighter around her waist. “Only ten days. Promise.”

“Myfanwy? Are you at the doctor’s?” Michael pressed.

“Hm? No? I’m going to be late getting in tomorrow, so try to keep people from overreacting again, hey?” She caught Gestalt’s prideful grin before they turned their faces away.

“Sounded like a man there with you,” Michael remarked. “Couldn’t be so since you told me you didn’t date. Even if you did let William from I.T. take you for drinks.”

Myfanwy grimaced. She had said that primarily as a way to let him down gently. She had hoped he’d gotten the message after she _had_ gone for drinks with William Shepard, but evidently not. 

“I think you may have misheard,” she began to lie.

“No, it was definitely a man. Sort of sounded like multiple men for a second.”

Myfanwy cleared her throat in effort to tamp down her annoyance. “It was. But I meant you misheard when I said that I don’t date. I didn’t mean at all. I meant I prefer not to date the people I work with.”

“Well, what about William, then?” Michael insisted.

Myfanwy squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her free hand to her forehead. Before she knew it, Teddy slipped the mobile from her hand and pressed it to his ear.

“Good morning, Michael. This is Myfanwy’s boyfriend. Caught a touch more of this conversation than I would’ve liked, tell the truth. I’d like to clarify a few things. First, if you think what you’re doing is in any way appropriate workplace conduct, you should not be working in HR. And second, when Myfanwy told you she doesn’t date, I can tell you for a fact that she did _not_ mean just people she worked with or anyone on the planet. When she said she didn’t date, she meant she would not date you, specifically. Hearing the way you talk to her it isn’t hard to see why. Now, she’ll be back in the office tomorrow and I really hope she doesn’t see so much as a hair on your head. For your sake.”

Gestalt handed her mobile back and stepped away from her. All three shoved their hands in their pockets and hunched their shoulders, avoiding eye contact with her. Myfanwy swallowed and brought the phone back to her ear.

“Michael? Sorry about that. I suppose they’re a bit more possessive than I’d guessed.” Her eyes flicked between the three bodies. They grimaced at her words though she hadn’t intended them negatively.

“Remember to e-mail the next time you’re going to be out,” he snapped before disconnecting the call. Myfanwy frowned at the screen for a second before switching over to her Ingrid and Bronwyn group chat to tell them to stop blowing up her phone and that she was fine.

“There. Settled.” She set her phone down and started on her breakfast.

Gestalt was still quiet. She swallowed the food in her mouth and took a sip of orange juice to clear her throat. “Are you not eating?”

“Did I make you angry?” Alex asked the floor.

Myfanwy continued eating. “What for?”

Robert and Alex began gnawing on their fingernails. “Commandeering your conversation like that,” Teddy said.

“And for what I said,” Alex added, miserably.

Myfanwy scooped some beans onto her toast and took a bite. She thought maybe she should be angry. Or at least annoyed. She just couldn’t dredge the feeling up. She was more pleased than anything else. She’d never enjoyed when her partners had taken control of a situation for her. She’d felt looked down on. Coddled. And she was not a fan of being coddled. Usually.

There was something about Gestalt that made her feel powerful. Like no matter what happened, she was always in control. And that had been all she had ever wanted ever since she could remember. She’d let Gestalt tie her to their fucking bed and had never once felt like she’d given up any of her control. Not even an ounce of her power. 

Myfanwy chewed at her cheek. “Sit down.”

Gestalt looked at her skeptically. She nodded at the stools beside her. Alex and Robert moved around the counter and took seats next to her. She looked over her shoulder at Teddy and arched her brow. They licked their bottom lip and moved to claim the last bar stool.

Myfanwy grabbed his hand before he reached it and pulled him back. They stopped at once and looked down at her. She smiled up at them. “Kiss me.” Teddy had to stoop to fulfill her request. 

“Can’t help, but feel you’re making some sort of point.”

Teddy pulled back so she could answer. She kept her hands fisted in his collar.

“I’m not angry. Not even a little angry. I should be annoyed, but I’m not. Anyone else doing that and I probably would’ve pitched a grand fit. So why am I not angry with you?”

Gestalt swallowed. Teddy’s hands gripped her thighs. “Are you going to tell me?”

Myfanwy frowned and blushed. “I probably will someday. But not now.”

Gestalt sighed heavily with all three bodies. Maybe even all four, but she couldn’t see Eliza. “Should I apologize anyway?”

Myfanwy shrugged and shook her head. “You said what I’ve been wishing I could say for years.”

“Why couldn’t you?”

Myfanwy shrugged. “I work with him.”

“It isn’t like Farrier’s gonna fire you,” Alex reminded.

“Especially not after what you told me.”

Myfanwy leaned her forehead against Teddy’s broad chest. “Yeah, but I still work with him. I’ll still have to see him every day. It wasn’t worth the hassle.”

“Assholes like that should not be in charge of Human Resources at _any_ company.” Myfanwy could feel Teddy’s voice rumble in his chest. “Lecher.”

Myfanwy smiled and laughed lightly through her nose. She pulled back and looked Gestalt in the eyes. “You know what would _really_ stick it to that odious man?”

Gestalt arched three brows in unison. “Do tell.”

Myfanwy slid off the barstool and pushed Teddy back toward the enormous couch. “If I spent the whole day when I should be at work fucking you instead.”

Gestalt grinned at her. Robert and Alex were behind her, pulling her clothes off and kissing every inch of her skin. 

“That would definitely make a guy like him go blue in the face.”

Myfanwy pushed Teddy back onto the couch and straddled him. She cupped his face between her hands and kissed him. Six hands slid over her bare skin covering it in goosebumps as chills ran through her and heat centralized between her thighs.

“Just let me know when you need another break,” she teased.

Gestalt mock sneered and her before grabbed her by her hips and flipping her over onto her back. “I think it’s about time I made good on a promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit on the shorter side. It had more to do with the relationship building than the plot as a whole. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
Enjoy!


	14. Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy learns a story about Gestalt's youth.

“What the hell are you doing?” Conrad Grantchester roared the second he stepped off the lift and into the penthouse.

Myfanwy let out a yelp and dove behind the couch to hide herself. Alex dropped a sweatshirt over her while the other bodies formed a sort of barricade between Grantchester and Myfanwy’s naked body. Myfanwy shoved her arms into the oversized shirt and tugged it down to ensure it covered her bum before standing up to join Gestalt.

“Ring next time, Conrad,” Teddy grumbled.

Conrad’s lips pursed. “I _have_ been ringing. _You_ haven’t been answering. You have a flight in less than three hours. Are you even packed?”

Myfanwy couldn’t see their faces, but she knew they were rolling their eyes. “I’m not an idiot. I packed last night.” They pointed to four large suitcases near the kitchen island. Myfanwy hadn’t noticed them there before.

“And do you plan on going to the airport stark naked?” Conrad crossed his arms over his chest and nodded at Gestalt’s four bodies. None of which wore more than a pair of white boxers and tank tops. Robert and Alex didn’t even have the tank tops.

“Miss Thomas, wonderful to see you as always. Though, perhaps it’s best you start home now? I’m sure Gestalt told you about their tour.” 

Myfanwy frowned at the man. He didn’t like her. He didn’t _know_ her, but he definitely didn’t like her. Probably because Gestalt was running behind schedule because of her.

Myfanwy ducked her head and started for the stairs. Eliza’s hand snaked out and grabbed her elbow. “We’re dropping you at work on our way to the airport, remember?”

Myfanwy glanced over at Conrad who was scowling openly. “You sure you have time for all that?” She whispered not because she was afraid for herself, but because she was worried she would cause Gestalt more trouble.

Eliza cupped her face in her hands and kissed her just the way she liked. Myfanwy could’ve forgotten all about Conrad’s interruption if he hadn’t cleared his throat loudly reminding them of his presence. 

“Go shower. I’ll bring your clothes.”

Myfanwy glanced back at Conrad as she mounted the steps. She hadn’t told Gestalt about their manager contacting her boss. She didn’t want to stir up unnecessary trouble for Gestalt.

She took the time to stretch beneath the hot water pounding down on her. Gestalt’s water pressure was phenomenal. It would be a punishment in and of itself to go back to her own shower in her crummy apartment. Myfanwy squelched the extra water from her hair. The real punishment was the future weeks of celibacy she had to look forward to. No Gestalt sharing her bed and warming her thighs.

The thought alone was almost enough to make her cry.

Myfanwy stepped out of the shower and found the set of work clothes she had left weeks earlier waiting for her on the counter. Pressed and dried just as they’d promised. She dressed and blow dried her hair before stepping out of the bathroom and heading down the stairs.

Gestalt was gone. Myfanwy could hear the second shower running in the downstairs bathroom. They were quick when they needed to be which was good because Myfanwy did not relish in being left alone with Conrad for much longer.

“I’d be happy to call you a cab to take you to work, Miss Thomas. Whatever Gestalt says, we truly are pressed for time.”

Myfanwy narrowed her eyes at the man. Smarmy. That was the word she wanted to use. And self-important the way all Checquy employees are. Were. 

“I don’t remember much of my time at the Checquy. I trust Linda already told you that, though. What I _do_ remember was how I burned the place to the ground. How _easy_ it was. And that was before I’d spent fifteen years working on my self-control.” Myfanwy heard the shower shut off so she moved closer to Grantchester to keep from being overheard. “You ever try to get Farrier or anybody else to stop my relationship with Gestalt, I will burn your house to the ground.”

Conrad stared at her dumbstruck for a brief moment. “I think you’re mistaken in my intentions, Miss Thomas. I assure you, I had no aspirations to come between you and Gestalt. My concern was for your safety.”

A blow drier started up then. Myfanwy stepped back, folding her arms over her chest. “I somehow find that very hard to believe. Especially given your… history.”

A look of contrition flashed over his face before being replaced by resignation. “Do you know that when Gestalt was four years old they were made to sleep in separate rooms?” He moved to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. He handed one to her and opened the other to take a sip. “I told the others it wasn’t a good move. I understood the desire to train them to be separate personalities, but I knew keeping them apart in that manner was good for no one.

“It took two days for them to realize I was right and four more days to admit it. Gestalt became downright demonic when they were separated from their other bodies for so long. Completely unified tantrums that included, at one point, bashing a metal cantina tray over the heads of four nurses. They stopped eating. They refused to learn. By the fifth day they became… catatonic.” Conrad furrowed his brow and frowned. “That’s not the right word for it. They sort of… left their bodies I suppose. Became nonresponsive. It wasn’t until they were put back together that they returned to normal.”

Myfanwy wrinkled her face. “Why are you telling me this?”

Conrad sighed and smiled at her for perhaps the first time ever. “You’re very rapidly becoming akin to a fifth body for Gestalt. Too rapidly, I’m afraid. And I worry that if something were to go amiss…. Were your feelings to suddenly evaporate or you to grow tired or bored with them, the end result would be catastrophic. You would go on with your life perfectly happy, of course, but Gestalt has never taken to a person like they have to you. They would not recover.”

“I’m not going to hurt them,” Myfanwy argued.

“I’m not saying you would. Especially not intentionally. I knew that after the first night we met.”

Gestalt trickled out of the bathroom then. Robert’s arms wrapped around her waist. They kissed her cheek, letting their lips linger there for a few seconds before moving to rest their head on her shoulder. They smelled of woodsy aftershave. Myfanwy leaned back into their chest and covered their arms with her hands.

“What were you two talking about?” Alex asked, leaning against the counter beside Myfanwy.

Conrad’s eyes flicked over to Myfanwy’s. His face was neutral, but she read the hint of fear in his eyes. She smiled and tilted her head back to meet Gestalt’s eye.

“Conrad was telling me all about what bratty children you used to be.” She grinned.

Gestalt scowled at them both. “Was not.”

Myfanwy’s grin grew broader. “Oh, yes, he said you were… oh, what was that phrase you used?”

Grantchester smiled back at her, deciding to play along with her game. “I believe I said, ‘downright demonic.’”

“That was it!” Myfanwy cried.

Robert’s arms tightened around her waist. He pressed his mouth and nose into her shoulder. Alex stared down at the counter, pouting. Teddy glared at Grantchester while Eliza frowned at Myfanwy.

“Which incident did he tell you about?” Robert asked into her shirt.

“_Which_ incident? Do you mean to say there was more than one?” Myfanwy challenged.

Gestalt made a pitiful noise in the back of their throats that made Myfanwy giggle. She patted Robert’s arms and twisted in their hold so that she was facing him. She slid her hands around the back of his neck and tickled the hair at the nape of his neck until he looked up at her.

“None of your childhood tantrums will ever compare to mine. You know that.”

Gestalt frowned gravely. “Wish you could stop blaming yourself for that.”

Myfanwy shrugged indifferently. It was easier than getting into her deep rooted self-loathing. Especially on a time crunch. She leaned up and pressed her lips to theirs. After a few seconds, Conrad cleared his throat again. Myfanwy sighed and broke away.

Robert leaned his forehead against hers. “Suppose you’re already late enough to work as it stands.” They pulled back and Teddy held her coat out for her to put her arms into. Eliza handed her her bag.

Gestalt pulled on their own coats while Conrad called the lift. The lift had seemed much larger with only two people in it. Six could be pushing it. Especially with all of Gestalt’s luggage. The way Gestalt positioned themselves around her, she was reminded of their first date. Was that really only five days before? It seemed a lifetime.

Myfanwy thought about Conrad’s story as they all piled into the limousine. Monica and two men Myfanwy hadn’t seen before lifted Gestalt’s luggage into the trunk. She could understand Gestalt’s tantrum even now. The thought of being separated from them for so long felt torturous. She couldn’t think of anything worse.

“You must be the infamous Myfanwy I’ve been hearing about,” one of the men said sticking out his hand for her to shake. “I’m Marcus.”

Myfanwy shook his hand, though she still had no clue who he was. “Nice to meet you.”

Teddy draped their arm over her shoulders on one side while Eliza had their arm wrapped around her waist from the other. Robert and Alex both had their knees touching one of hers. Marcus, Conrad, and Monica sat on the bench seat between the doors.

“Are you another one of Gestalt’s bodyguards, then?” Myfanwy asked, glancing at Monica. If he was, that would mean he was also an EVA, but he was American like Monica.

Marcus laughed lightly. “I guess you can call me a groupie. I’m mostly here for Mon, but I’ve also got a bit of business in Belgium while we’re there.”

“Oh. What sort of work do you do?”

Gestalt’s grip on her tightened marginally. Marcus went on smiling easily.

“I run a not-for-profit organization. Being an EVA yourself, I’m sure you know about Vultures and people like the Lugat and Glengrove. EVAs are traded and bartered and sold and I – and other likeminded individuals – aim to protect those people.”

Myfanwy frowned and tilted her head. “I’ve never heard about anything like that.” Myfanwy shifted against Teddy. “Besides, once they’re registered, there isn’t much anyone can do to protect them.”

Marcus shrugged. “You might be surprised.”

Too soon, the limousine pulled to a stop in front of King’s Inc. Myfanwy’s stomach dropped as she looked out the window at the building. She felt heat in her eyes. Robert moved between Conrad and the door to get out first. He reached back for her hand as they helped her from the car.

Robert led her all the way into the lobby before stopping. Myfanwy swallowed against the knot in her throat. They were really leaving. She had to keep telling herself it was only for a few days. Not long at all. Just a few gigs to play and then she could have them back in her arms.

She wrapped her arms around Robert’s waist and buried her face in his chest so they wouldn’t see just how close to tears she was. Their arms locked around her firmly. Almost as if they didn’t want to let her go either. Myfanwy took comfort in that. Maybe they were starting to feel as much for her as she already felt for them.

“Just a few days,” Gestalt murmured, “no time at all, truly. And we can talk on the phone, yeah?”

Myfanwy nodded. The lump in her throat was making it hard to speak. He pet his hand down over her hair.

“You just watch. We’ll both get so busy the time will just fly by.”

Myfanwy nodded again and took a shaky breath. She pulled her head back and pulled Robert down to kiss him again. She shut her eyes and tried to focus on nothing other than the kiss. It was Gestalt that pulled away at last.

“I have to go, sweetheart.”

Myfanwy nodded miserably.

“Please, don’t look at me like that, baby. You’re making this impossible.” Robert cupped her face in his hands and smiled at her. Myfanwy smiled back, but it was forced and they both knew it. “You’ll call me when you’re off work, then?”

Myfanwy sniffed. “Don’t you have a show tonight?”

Robert shook his head. “Tomorrow night. Today’s the flight. Sound check’s at nine tomorrow morning. So you’ll call me?”

Myfanwy nodded.

Gestalt frowned thoughtfully. “You can’t group chat a phone call.” He grinned at her. “You’re going to have to pick a body.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “Not that it matters. I called Alex the other day and Teddy picked up. If I call you is Eliza going to pick up?”

Robert laughed. “Maybe. We’ll see what I’m doing and who’s closest to which phone.”

Myfanwy huffed and kissed them again, just a peck this time. “I’ll talk to you tonight.”

Gestalt shoved their fingers into the pockets on their jeans and took a half step backwards toward the door. Myfanwy did the same, but toward the lifts instead of the door. They moved that way until they both reached their respective doors. Gestalt waited until the lift doors opened and she stepped behind them to open the door to the street. 

The lift doors slid shut between them and Myfanwy felt like they’d snapped off a piece of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh I did plot! Go me!


	15. Cat's Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid gets nosy.

Myfanwy did _not _get so busy the time without Gestalt flew by. She felt every agonizing second of it. She felt it in the intrusive questions her coworkers pelted her with demanding everything from relationship details to Robert’s favorite brand of soda. Too many coworkers begged to be set up with Gestalt’s other bodies.

She couldn’t recall a time she had ever felt so possessive over someone. She cut power in the copy room when a man from sales started talking about Eliza’s body. She bit her cheek so hard she started bleeding just to maintain her control, but it was getting trickier every minute.

She was in for another rude awakening when she finally reached her apartment building that night. A moderately sized crowd of mostly teenaged girls were clustered on the sidewalk in front of her building. It took her a minute to understand what they were doing there. It’d been three days since she’d been home after all.

She heard their whispering as she unlocked the lobby door. “Hair looks right.”

“Do you think?”

“Couldn’t be her. Look at her.”

Myfanwy slipped inside quickly and made sure the glass door shut before hurrying up the stairs for her apartment. She wasn’t about to listen to a bunch of teenagers about her appearance.

The second she was alone, she pulled out her phone and called Eliza’s number. Myfanwy counted the rings. Three…four…five….

“Sorry. I didn’t expect you to call this phone,” Gestalt blurted breathlessly.

Myfanwy smiled for the first time since they’d left. “Why is it never the body I call that answers?” She asked Alex.

“It’s always me regardless.”

She slumped onto her couch and threw her feet up on the armrest. “Well, I should tell you while I have you on the line that Brenda and Maude in bookkeeping think Alex is the most amazing and talented drummer in the world. Either one would be keen to go on a date with you.”

“Hm. Maude sounds like an older woman. I’m intrigued.”

Myfanwy grinned at his playful tone. “Oh, and Ruth and Adam are _very_ into Teddy. They say he has a… um….” Myfanwy frowned at the ceiling as she tried to remember the phrases they’d used that she’d earlier tried to block out. “A ‘brunch daddy’ vibe.”

Gestalt wheezed out a laugh through the phone. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Myfanwy shrugged out of habit. “No clue, but Brennan, Paul, and James are all hot for Eliza. And Lucille and Audrey have also put forth that if Robert ever grows tired of me they would be happy to take my place.”

“Good to know I have options.”

Myfanwy giggled. “Tired of me already?”

“Absolutely not.” Gestalt barked quickly.

“You sure? Brenda used to be a gymnast. She’s still _very_ flexible.”

Gestalt growled. “_I’m_ not.”

Myfanwy licked her lips and pulled the bottom one between her teeth. She wanted so much to feel them all around her again. The line was quiet for a long while. She listened to their steady breathing and pretending they were beside her on the couch.

“I miss you,” she said softly.

“I miss you, too. More than you know.”

“You’re just lucky you have four bodies in your bed on a normal night. I dunno how I’m going to sleep with so much empty space.” Myfanwy hadn’t even looked at her bed yet. She hadn’t slept without Gestalt since Saturday. It was not something she was looking forward to.

“It won’t be much easier for me, sweetheart. Believe me.”

Myfanwy had her doubts, but she kept them to herself. They continued chatting until Myfanwy’s phone let out three shrill beeps signaling her low battery. Reluctantly, she told Gestalt good night and hung up to plug her phone in to charge.

She ate a quick dinner and went to bed. Alone. 

Myfanwy tossed, turned, rolled, and flopped, but she did not sleep. She didn’t sleep the next night, either. The bed was too large. Too empty. Curious when just the month before Myfanwy had considered getting a king sized mattress to replace the queen that was currently in her room.

She spent half the next morning searching for her black work flats before remembering that she’d worn them to Gestalt’s and left them. She remembered exactly where they’d fallen off upstairs before Teddy had tossed her onto the mattress to ravish her.

She left for work feeling lonely and abandoned in a way that made her feel ridiculous. She hated the romantic dramas where the women are left to pine while their husbands or betrotheds are off fighting some war. And Gestalt wasn’t fighting a war. They were performing. Wining and dining on fine European cuisine and staying in five star hotel suites. God, but she was pathetic.

Her singular relief was that Linda did not hunt her down to continue their discussion from Monday. Ingrid was biding her time. Myfanwy knew her best friend too well to think that she had no more questions, demands, or invasions of privacy planned regarding Myfanwy’s new relationship.

“Am I allowed to ask about your new beau, yet?” Ingrid asked Friday evening as Myfanwy was packing up for home.

“You can always ask whatever you’d like. There’re just a few things I can’t tell you.” Myfanwy picked up the keys to her Mini-Cooper and started for Ingrid and the door.

“And you can’t tell me these certain things because…?”

Myfanwy shut the light off in her office and locked the door behind them. “They aren’t my secrets, Ingrid. Are you telling me that if someone asked you about my secrets, you’d tell them?”

Ingrid frowned. “Of course I wouldn’t.”

“Right, so as long as it’s not something that gives up someone else’s secret, I’ll answer anything.” They moved into the lift and Myfanwy hit the button for the lobby.

“Why did you leave Monday? You never said.”

Myfanwy frowned at the floor. “Did you know Farrier is registered?”

Ingrid shrugged. “She’s Class Six.”

Myfanwy’s brows shot up. “Class _Six_?”

Ingrid rolled her eyes. “You know in their classing system you’d be an eight. Maybe higher. Who knows?”

Myfanwy took a minute to process the information before continuing. “She used to run the Checquy. She ran it when I was there. Started King’s Inc. after the fire.”

Ingrid frowned. “What did she tell you all that for? It’s been years? Well over a decade.”

Myfanwy followed Ingrid out of the lift and across the lobby. “She saw the tabloids from Sunday. Wanted to warn me about Vultures and yadda yadda.”

“I don’t like how cavalier you’ve become with regards to the Vultures,” Ingrid remarked.

Myfanwy grimaced as she hit the unlock button for her Mini Cooper. She knew better than to bring up Vultures with Ingrid. Her brother had been killed in a Vulture raid. Unregistered like Myfanwy, he had been the only one Myfanwy knew about from the Checquy.

David Woodhouse hadn’t been afraid of his powers. Before the fire destroyed his file, he was a class two. Not dangerous, but handy in a pinch. He could heal minor injuries in seconds. He’d been at the Checquy six years before Myfanwy’s meltdown. He tracked down Ingrid and their parents in the aftermath.

Two years later, Vultures had grabbed him off the street. He fought like hell to get away after he was auctioned to some country in the Middle East. He was killed in a surprise bombing two months after his abduction.

Myfanwy waited for Ingrid to get herself into the front passenger seat so she could fold the chair up and put it in the boot. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m not trying to be cavalier, it’s just that the threat is _always_ looming over my head. I’ll never get away from it. It’s fifty-fifty that I die young in a foreign country because of some sadistic government figurehead.”

Myfanwy started the car and backed out of her parking spot. Ingrid was quiet for a long time. Myfanwy would love nothing more than to get her foot out of her mouth.

“So where does Robert fit in to all this?” Ingrid asked at last.

Myfanwy bit the inside of her cheek as she turned into her apartment’s parking complex. “Gestalt makes me happy.”

Myfanwy parked her car and got out to fetch Ingrid’s wheelchair. They started down to the street level. The air was finally warming up again, but Myfanwy bundled her coat around her just the same.

“Oh, I should warn you….” Myfanwy slowed her steps as they approached the corner of her building. “There’s a little bit of a crowd outside my apartment lately. Just some teen girls hoping to see Robert again. Not a big deal, just… try to hurry inside.”

Ingrid scowled up at her. “You have a constant crowd in front of your apartment and you don’t think that’s a bigger cause for concern?”

Myfanwy peeked around the corner. There were fewer girls gathered than usual. She tucked her hand into her bag to retrieve her keys. “They’re harmless. At least physically.”

Myfanwy heard Ingrid huff irritably, but she was already focusing on her hundred meter dash to her front door. Something that had become a nightly ritual. She darted forward and jammed her key into the lock opening the door just in time to hold it for Ingrid who wheeled inside while shooting icy glares at the girls on the sidewalk.

Myfanwy hit the button for the lift. “I know. Don’t say anything, please. I already know.”

Ingrid folded her hands on her lap as they waited. “Haven’t said anything.”

Myfanwy groaned internally. Ingrid had that know-it-all tone. The one that always made Myfanwy feel like a complete dumbass. 

They made it to her apartment in peace. Myfanwy started the tea. It was already eight-thirty, but it’d be late before either of them thought about bed.

“Where’s Bron been?”

Myfanwy shrugged indifferently. “She’ll show up at some point with a dead mouse between her teeth.”

Ingrid chuckled. “Just figured if she were here she’d’ve scared those girls away in an instant.”

Myfanwy nodded as she filled the cups. “I’m sure she’ll make a point of it whenever she slinks back.”

Ingrid dropped all talk of Gestalt and the cluster of fangirls on her porch. Instead, she launched into a detailed sermon on the latest office gossip. Maggie from H.R. _was_ holding a grudge. She was aiming to start a rumor that Myfanwy was sleeping with _all_ the Gestalt siblings and not just Robert.

Myfanwy bit her tongue so hard it bled. The airhead had actually hit the nail on the head. Sort of.

Myfanwy’s phone rang three hours later. She pulled it out and smiled as Teddy’s name and photo popped up on her screen. Ingrid craned her neck in an effort to see, but Myfanwy slid the green circle over quickly and pressed the phone to her ear.

“Hey! How was the show?”

“Brilliant! Oh, they went mad for _Sparks_,” Eliza gushed. Myfanwy had become accustomed to never hearing the voice associated with the name when they spoke on the phone.

“Do you play that every night?”

“Only the nights when I think of you.”

Myfanwy flushed and turned her face away from Ingrid. “I can’t talk long tonight.”

“Why not? Please don’t say you’ve got a hot date.”

Myfanwy chortled. “It’s eleven thirty. My only date is with Ingrid who, while smokin’ hot, is not interested in a carnal relationship at the moment.”

“I’m in need of someone with the strength to lift me up like Johnny did Baby in _Dirty Dancing_. Your arms wouldn’t hold up spaghetti noodles, Myf.” Ingrid grinned at her goofily.

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “I stand corrected. I’m not Swayze enough for her.”

“Well, at least she has standards I suppose.”

Myfanwy was about to sound off when she remembered something. “Oh, before I forget; I left my black flats at your place the other day. Don’t let me forget to get them back when you come back.”

“Why don’t you just go get them?” Eliza asked patiently.

“What?”

“You know the code for the lift. Just go get them.”

Myfanwy was aware that her mouth was hanging open. She swallowed and shut it again. “While you aren’t there?”

“What? Are you going to steal something? I keep the crown jewels in the safe upstairs. If you work out the code, you’re welcome to them.”

“Well, it’s just….”

“Just what?”

“I don’t know. It seems strange?” Myfanwy couldn’t explain it. Why the idea of going over to their penthouse made her somewhat uncomfortable without them there.

“Take Ingrid. Go for a swim.”

“Take Ingrid?” Myfanwy repeated. “To your house? While you aren’t there?”

“Should I worry about Ingrid stealing something?” Gestalt was impossibly blasé.

“Well, no, but –”

“You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Just… I don’t mind.” Eliza sounded surprisingly shy now. Gestalt was always so sure of themselves. It was nice to feel like Myfanwy affected them that way. “I sort of like the idea of you being there even when I’m not.”

Myfanwy’s brows drew together. “Why?”

“Oh, come on, babe. I don’t know. It just does.” Myfanwy fought down her giggles at hearing Alex’s speech pattern coming from Eliza’s mouth. It was all Gestalt, but the separation between their bodies they worked so hard to keep fell away like autumn leaves leaving them bare as winter trees to Myfanwy. She loved them all the more for it.

“I want to see his place,” Ingrid said, leaning toward her.

Myfanwy frowned at her friend. She couldn’t think of anything that would tip her off about Gestalt’s… uniqueness. She sighed into the phone. “I suppose we’ll stop by tomorrow before breakfast.”

“If you don’t want Jamileh to see you, I’d go after breakfast.”

Myfanwy paused. “Who’s Jamileh?”

She heard Gestalt giggle. “Don’t be jealous of the maid, now, Myf.”

“I wasn’t jealous. I was asking.” Myfanwy gritted her teeth in embarrassment. She _had_ been a bit jealous.

“Alright, alright. Seriously. There are spare swimming costumes in the downstairs closet. They’re in the pink tub.”

“You sound pretty eager to get my best friend naked in your place,” Myfanwy teased.

“I’m sure one of my bodies is Swayze enough for her. Unfortunately, she’s not my Baby.”

Myfanwy licked her lips and pulled the bottom one between her teeth. “She’ll be devastated.”

“She’ll live.”

“I’m not sure I like this conversation,” Ingrid frowned. Myfanwy grinned at her.

“I have to go. Ingrid’s getting nervous.”

“Alright. Call me tomorrow when you have time?”

“I thought you were on your way to Berlin tomorrow.”

“Flight actually leaves in about four hours so we’re heading to the airport in a bit.”

Myfanwy rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, you’ll still need sleep.”

“I’ll have plenty of time to sleep while you’re out and about with Ingrid tomorrow. I don’t have a show until Sunday so don’t worry.”

“Alright. Good night. Have a safe flight.”

“Good night. Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”

Myfanwy pulled the phone away from her ear and disconnected the call. She took a few breaths before looking up again. Ingrid was giving her a curious look.

“What?”

Ingrid tilted her head at her. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

Myfanwy stood and stretched. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Fine. I won’t say anything more.” Ingrid wheeled herself down the hall ahead of Myfanwy. “But you’re taking me to see your boyfriend’s house tomorrow. I’ve always wanted to see where rock stars live.”

* * *

Myfanwy was strangely nervous as she punched in the code in the lift. Ingrid was jittering with excitement. The doors opened and Ingrid wheeled out of the lift and straight toward the windows. Myfanwy looked around for any wayward signs that might give away Gestalt’s secret.

“Holy hell! Look at this view!” Ingrid screeched. “You can see half of London from here!”

Myfanwy mounted the stairs. There was no wheelchair access to the loft which meant Ingrid would be left downstairs unattended. Fortunately, the maid had done a great job of clearing away the evidence of their coupling. There was no amount of lying that could explain five sets of discarded clothes tossed about the living area.

Myfanwy tried to be quick. She thought she had a pretty good idea of where she’d flung her shoes, but they were nowhere to be seen. Myfanwy huffed and went into the closet. Gestalt had about a hundred pairs of shoes in that closet, give or take. Most of them were Eliza’s.

Downstairs, Ingrid found the upright piano and began to play a few experimental notes. Myfanwy hoped she wouldn’t pick up any of the guitars. Gestalt wasn’t picky about much, but their guitars were treated with utmost care. She didn’t think they’d get angry, but she knew they’d spend hours meticulously tuning them all over again.

After a thorough going over of the closet, Myfanwy frowned. Her shoes weren’t there, either. Though there were a pair of cute, black pumps Myfanwy eyed longingly. She pulled her phone from her pocket as she walked back out of the closet and down the stairs.

**Myfanwy**  
Shoes were by the bed?  
I checked the closet  
they aren’t there either.  
Where else would they be?

Myfanwy slid her phone back into her pocket and went to find Ingrid who had moved on from the piano and was staring at the three remotes in her hands. Myfanwy picked up the light grey one and hit the one button she’d seen Gestalt press. Music filled the penthouse.

Ingrid arched her brow and looked around. “Jazz? Didn’t take Robert for a jazz man. Didn’t take any of the Gestalts for jazz lovers.”

“They were trained in classical music, you know.” Myfanwy set the remote back on the coffee table. “They were brought up in a very strict environment. Music was their escape.”

Ingrid stared at her thoughtfully. She pressed her lips together and nodded slowly. Myfanwy grimaced. She hadn’t meant to get so defensive. She didn’t even know why she had.

Ingrid wheeled herself back toward the wall of windows, dropping the two remotes beside the first on the coffee table as she went. Myfanwy shoved her fingers into her eyes. She needed to calm down if at all possible.

“Is that a _pool_? On his balcony?” Ingrid demanded.

Myfanwy sidled over to her. “It’s heated.”

Ingrid looked up at her. “Spend much time in it?”

Myfanwy shrugged. “Just the hot tub, really.”

“There’s a _hot tub_?” She screeched then deflated. “Of _course_ there is.”

Myfanwy giggled. “We can swim if you want.”

“You’re okay with me skinny dipping in your boyfriend’s pool?”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes at her. “I never said anything about skinny dipping. They’ve got spare swimming costumes.”

Ingrid arched a brow. “He often invites women over to swim in his pool?”

Myfanwy swallowed and froze. She hadn’t given it much thought. “I, uh… they might have?”

Ingrid tilted her head up at Myfanwy again. “Why do you do that?”

“Sorry?”

Ingrid shook her head. “It’s just strange. The way you talk about Robert. It doesn’t really feel like you’re talking about him. Sounds more like you’re talking about all of them as if they were one person.”

Myfanwy frowned deeply. Ingrid was too observant for Myfanwy’s own good. If she’d been in Myfanwy’s position, she’d have figured Gestalt out the first night. Myfanwy struggled to think of a lie. Of some way to appease her friend without breaking Gestalt’s confidence.

“And last night when I asked about how Robert fit in to everything you said, ‘Gestalt makes me happy.’ Not that Robert does. Gestalt. I don’t know anyone that refers to their boyfriend by their last name. Especially not when that boyfriend has three siblings.”

“Ing, I told you. There are things I _can’t_ tell you.”

“EVA things.” It wasn’t a question and there was no room for disagreement.

“Please,” Myfanwy begged. “Please, Ingrid.” Whatever Conrad thought Gestalt felt for her – whatever _she_ thought they felt for her – that would all vanish the instant she betrayed their trust.

Her mouth was dry and her heart was pounding as she watched the quiet contemplation on her best friend’s face. Ingrid wanted to pry further. She wanted answers. Myfanwy didn’t know what she was going to do if she insisted.

Ingrid dropped her gaze at last and gave a small nod. Myfanwy felt the breath whoosh out of her chest taking her tension with it. 

“So they’ve got spare swimming costumes, you say?”


	16. Kiss Me Through the Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt's absence is painful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING**  
Self harm is described in detail in this chapter. If you feel depressed or you are cutting yourself please consider calling one of the helplines listed below.
> 
> Helplines :  
1-800-784-2433 National Hopeline Network  
1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  
1-800-448-4663 National Youth Crisis Hotline
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. I love you!

She was avoiding them. She wasn’t proud of it, but after she dropped Ingrid off at her place Myfanwy had turned off her phone and hid in the bath. Ingrid wasn’t stupid by any means. Myfanwy was certain she’d worked out most of what was going on. Most of Gestalt’s secret.

She didn’t turn the phone back on Sunday though she made sure it had a full charge for Monday. She was torturing herself. She wanted nothing more than to hear their voices. Any of them. All of them. She wanted to talk to them.

If only there were a way to do that without telling them that she had betrayed them in the worst manner she could imagine. If only she could stomach lying to them when they’d offered her nothing but their full disclosure. Their trust. 

She sat in the bathroom and opened the Box. It was an unfriendly box. A box she would do well to be rid of, but nights like this she would get out the Box. She slid her pants off and plucked out one of her dutifully sharpened blades. Her scars were measured and practiced. Thin, white lines in perfect order on her thighs. She slid the blade down one and relished in the sharp sting that followed. The bead of red that blossomed over the small cut. 

Like an addict, she quickly made three more matching lines up her thigh. The scratching bite of the blade reminded her of the way Robert’s beard felt scraping along her thighs as his tongue wandered higher. She made one more fresh cut before putting the blade away.

She leaned back as thoughts of the Checquy came back to her. Violent, erratic thoughts. The memories of that white room. Isolation. She was dangerous and unstable so they wouldn’t let her into gen pop until they were certain she didn’t pose a risk to their other occupants. Test subjects?

And then _he_ was there. Myfanwy’s stomach rolled as his face popped into her head clear as day. Fifteen years, hard drinking, self-harm, and a whole slew of bad decisions couldn’t erase that fucker’s face from her mind. She hated it. She hated him. She hated herself.

She wrapped her thigh carefully and went to bed.

Ingrid met her at the lift on Monday morning. She had to pretend that Ingrid’s nosiness hadn’t caused her sleepless nights and _days_ of torturing herself.

“There is a reason I didn’t take that job at the botanical gardens, you know?” She said as soon as Myfanwy stepped from the lift.

“Mm. You wanted to keep an eye on me. I know. You worked it out with Bronwyn.” Myfanwy scratched her left eyebrow as her mind went to what she needed to finish for today.

“Well, yes, there was that. _But_ I also get allergies when I’m exposed to an abundance of flowers.”

Myfanwy sighed and put her hand on her office door handle. “Is that your way of saying I over did it with the rose oil today?”

Ingrid arched her brow up at her. Myfanwy scowled and shoved her office door open.

At least. She _thought_ it was her office. Every surface was covered in elaborate bouquets in enormous vases. Roses in every color were scattered around the room while a floor ornament took up an entire corner with monstrous sunflowers. Myfanwy’s mouth fell open in shock.

“Couriers were waiting at the door this morning. Apparently they had been instructed to fill your office with beauty.” Ingrid snickered. “Your beau is certainly the dramatic type.”

Myfanwy moved to her desk and shifted a vase of red roses from her desk to the floor beside her. There were two boxes carefully wrapped in the middle of her desk. Myfanwy opened the larger of the two. Her missing black flats rested in the bottom cleaner than she’d left them.

The smaller box was more intimidating. She had already felt guilty for turning off her phone. The last thing she needed was any more reason to hate herself. She pulled the paper away and stared down at the iPhone box. She slid it open and turned it on. A voicemail was waiting for her. Gestalt’s numbers already programmed in.

Myfanwy pressed in the first four digits of their lift code. It made sense to her. Apparently it made sense to them, too. The voicemail unlocked. Myfanwy hastily pressed the phone to her ear. She followed the prompts until the message opened and Gestalt’s voice rang out.

“I want to choose to believe that you are not ignoring my phone calls. In the hopes that you simply dropped your phone into the pool or some other nonsense, I have sent you a new one. An emphatic gesture, maybe, but being away from you is hard enough when I get to hear your voice every day. It’s been absolutely brutal the past two days.

“My show yesterday was terrible. I was so distracted I kept missing beats in my drumming and I forgot my own lyrics several times.

“If I did something you didn’t like let me know. I’ll never do it again. Conrad had Jamileh send your shoes to your office. I didn’t know until after I woke up on Saturday. Sorry.

“Please, please call me.”

The line went quiet for a beat.

“To return a call press six. To delete this message press seven. To save it press eight. For more options, press nine.”

Myfanwy pressed eight and dropped the phone to turn on her old one. She had more than seventy unanswered texts and forty-six missed calls. She was stunned to find a few of the missed calls were from Conrad and Linda. She opened the texts. Her heart sank.

**Robert**  
Did you check the downstairs closet?  
I’ll look into it.

**Eliza  
Are you still out?**

**Robert  
Don’t let Ingrid hog you all night.**

**Alex**  
Just tried to call.  
Miss you.

**Eliza  
Myfanwy? Should I be worried?**

**Teddy**  
Could you tell me if I’ve done  
something wrong?

**Eliza**  
Conrad sent your shoes to your  
office. Sorry.

**Bronwyn**  
Any chance you’re swinging by  
Vienna in the next day or so?

**Teddy  
Did you lose your phone?**

**Bronwyn**  
Not a big deal. Little issue with   
Austrian gov.

**Unknown**  
Myfanwy, it’s Conrad Grantchester  
would it be a terrible imposition if  
I asked you to at least text Gestalt?  
They’re a bit panicked.

**Ingrid  
Hey, just got a weird call from Bron**

**Bronwyn**  
Whenever you feel like answering  
your phone.

**Robert**  
Have a show in two hours. Call  
before?

**Grantchester**  
This is exactly what I was warning  
you about before we left.

**Alex  
Showtime. Call later?**

**Bronwyn  
By all means, take your time.**

**Ingrid**  
What are you doing? I think  
B’s freaking out.

**Eliza**  
Please don’t tell me you’re  
avoiding me.

**Grantchester**  
Just an FYI, Gestalt has been  
talking about putting a protection  
detail on you since breakfast.

**Alex  
I still miss you.**

**Bronwyn**  
It’s cool. I figured it out. No  
thanks to you.

**Teddy**  
Sending you a new phone.  
If you don’t want me to then  
give me a call.

Myfanwy dialed Bronwyn’s number first. ‘Trouble with Austrian government” sounded bad.

“Good morning. Bronwyn’s phone. Bronwyn speaking. You see what I just did there? How I _answered my fucking phone_? It’d be great if you would learn how to do that.” Bronwyn snapped as soon as she answered.

“My phone was off. How the hell was I supposed to know you’d get yourself into trouble with the Austrian government? What the fuck were you even doing there?” Myfanwy hissed.

“That’s my business, though, technically speaking I’m still there.”

“You’re in Austria?”

“Yeah, I had to call in a favor with the boss man since you couldn’t answer your goddamn phone.”

Myfanwy frowned at a bouquet of tulips in front of her. “You have a boss?”

Bronwyn made an annoyed sound. “Just because I don’t tell you about my job doesn’t mean I don’t have one.”

Myfanwy shrugged at the tulips. “How am I supposed to know what you get up to other than getting arrested every other week?”

“First of all, I wasn’t arrested. I was detained. There is a distinct difference. Second of all, why the fuck was your phone off?”

“Just a… battery issue.” Myfanwy frowned at her lie. She didn’t often lie to Bronwyn. She may not tell her little sister everything, but she very rarely lied.

“Uh huh. Well, I’m in Vienna for a few days more and the boss man says we had a few more stops before we start back to London. More discreet this way or something. Anyway, I’m babysitting so I have to go.”

“What? Wait, wait! You’re babysitting? Like a child?”

“Listen, there is only so much you actually care to know about what I do and I’m pretty sure you already reached your limit for intrigue.”

Myfanwy was about to protest, but Bronwyn shouted another ‘Bye!’ at her and disconnected the call.

Myfanwy stared at her screen and tried to process everything that she’d just been told. She pulled up one of the financial reports and stared at it instead. She felt like an idiot. Selfish. Stupid. Idiot.

And above all else, she wanted to talk to Gestalt.

She pulled up the voicemail again and listened to Gestalt’s message. She listened to it a few more times before she gave a frustrated growl and stowed the new iPhone in her desk drawer. She focused on work all the way to lunch.

She picked up her phone and dialed Gestalt’s number before she could stop herself. 

“Myfanwy!” Gestalt sounded frantic and husky.

“Did I wake you?”

“Don’t worry about it. Where’ve you been?” It was Teddy’s voice. Firm and gravelly. Myfanwy wanted to cry.

“Sorry. I just….” She chewed at her cheek. She didn’t know what to say to them.

“Was it something I said? Or did something happen?”

Myfanwy’s jaw trembled. “I….” Myfanwy clenched her teeth together and tried to work out the best way to explain what had happened.

“You’re scaring me. Just a bit. Was it something at my place?”

“No. No, it wasn’t you. You didn’t do anything. I….” Myfanwy couldn’t work it out. “Would… could we not talk about it over the phone?”

“I’m in Vienna until tomorrow then we have two more stops before we head back. If we put it off until then will you still talk to me in the interim?”

Myfanwy blew out the breath she was holding. “Yes. Yes, I’ve missed you.” She sighed in relief. Momentary as it may have been. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Gestalt gave a wry laugh. “Coulda fooled me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You said that already.” Gestalt groaned loudly.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just getting up. Christ, is it two already?”

“Only one here.”

“You went to work, didn’t you?”

Myfanwy smiled and leaned on her elbows on her desk. “Yeah, it’s lunch now, though.” She reached out and pinched a rose petal between her fingers. “Thank you for the flowers. Ingrid’s going a bit mental because of her allergies, but they look beautiful.”

“Only half as beautiful as you.”

Myfanwy blushed and bit her bottom lip. “How would you know? You can’t even see them.”

“Those were my orders. Fill your office with all their most beautiful flowers so that it’s at least half as beautiful as you are.”

“You’re such a schmoozer.”

“Mm, you bring it out in me.” There was a moment of quiet.

“Did you get my other gift?” Robert’s voice was traded for Teddy’s.

“Um, the phone? Yes.”

“Too much?”

“I can appreciate the thought that went into it. Why’d you switch bodies?”

Gestalt cleared their throat the way they did when they were uncomfortable. “Just… nature.”

Myfanwy giggled. “Wash your hands.”

“I _always_ wash my hands. I’m not an animal.” Something knocked on their end.

“Company?”

“Room service.” Gestalt yawned. “I had a radio interview this morning, but I’ve got the rest of the day free. If you want, you can call when you’re off work.”

“You aren’t going to do any sightseeing?”

“This is my third time in Vienna. I’ve seen the sights.”

“I’ll get to see you on Sunday, right?” Myfanwy was both excited and nervous. As soon as they came back she’d have to tell them. Maybe she’d get one last fuck in before she dropped the bombshell. That she wasn’t as reliable as they’d hope. That she’d broken their trust. One last good romp and then she would never see them again. One more mind blowing orgasm before they started to hate her.

“I have an idea – which you are under no obligation to agree to.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes at their dramatics. “What is it?” 

“You go over to my place Saturday night and be there when I get back.” They sounded shy again. Unsure.

Myfanwy licked her lips. “Aren’t you getting back really late?”

“Yes.” A pause. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“And if I go to your place and wait for you knowing you’re going to get back really late I’ll be waiting a long time.”

“No. I know. You don’t have to. I didn’t think it through enough.” Gestalt wasn’t catching on.

“Well, what sort of reward would I be looking at?”

The line was dead long enough that Myfanwy was worried they’d been disconnected.

“Gestalt?”

“_Fuck_.”

“Gestalt? Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I fucking heard you.”

“Oh.” Myfanwy tried to decipher their tone. She didn’t think they were angry. At least, she hoped they weren’t.

“Sorry. Whatever you want.”

“What?”

“Whatever you want. Anything. I mean it. I’ll lasso the moon if you ask.” There was a pause. “I know a guy. Rather, Marcus knows a guy and I know Marcus.”

“Wow. I, er, I was just thinking about an orgasm or two.”

Gestalt dissolved into a coughing fit on the other end. Myfanwy covered her mouth with her hand and listened to the struggle.

“You always catch me off guard,” Eliza accused.

“What is _happening_ over there?”

“I’m not telling you because it’s embarrassing and I’d rather talk about your future orgasms.”

Myfanwy snorted. “I’m at work. That’s why I was _trying_ to be discreet.”

“Mm. No. I think you want to tell me in express detail exactly what you’re expecting upon my return.”

Myfanwy was quiet for a second. “Are you….” She shook her head slowly. “Are you asking me for phone sex?”

“_You _started it. Besides, it isn’t like you don’t touch yourself when you think about me,” Eliza retorted.

Myfanwy spluttered out a nervous giggle all over again. “What makes you think that?”

“You have. Even before we met.” Gestalt was quiet a beat. “To my poster.”

Myfanwy turned beet red. “That’s not nice.”

“I think it’s _very_ nice.”

Myfanwy put her head down on her desk. “No. That’s humiliating.”

The line was quiet again for a long time. Myfanwy’s cheeks burned to the point of pain.

“Baby, tell me what you used to imagine me doing to you.”

“Mmf.”

“I’m curious. What was it?”

“Just vanilla shit. I was a kid.”

“Tell me anyway?”

Myfanwy buried her face in her arms with the phone nestled between her ear and the crook of her arm. “Mm. I’d imagine you kissing me.”

“Robert?”

Myfanwy shut her eyes and groaned in embarrassment. “Um, all of you. And… you’d touch me.”

“Where?”

“’M at work….” Her protests were weak. Her panties wet.

“Where would I touch you?”

Myfanwy sighed heavily. “My… breasts.” She groaned again. “You’d take off my shirt. Eliza would. And then you’d….” She sat back and took a deep breath. “No. Sorry. It’s too embarrassing and I’m at work and I just…. No.”

“Alright. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“No, it’s…. Ugh! I’ll just call you later, alright?”

“Of course, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you in a few hours.”

“Bye.” Myfanwy hung up and scrubbed her hands down her flushed cheeks.

Work was going to be impossible. She really needed to invest in a spare pair of panties to keep in her office for just these occasions.

Myfanwy checked her calendar. Five days. She could do five days. She’d already gone five days without realizing it. Saturday would come in no time.

She hoped.

She dreaded.


	17. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy comes clean to Gestalt.

The small, black bag stared at her from the coffee table where she’d set it. The shiny, gold letters glared at her. _Agent Provocateur_. Well, yeah. That was the idea at least. She’d spent over an hour in that shop debating. Debating which to buy and whether to buy it at all simultaneously.

She’d gone ahead and bought it. A full boudoir set. The sales woman had been _very_ helpful. She’d even gone so far as offer to help Myfanwy try a few on. It was the taking them back off Myfanwy could see the woman was more interested in. She’d felt insatiable enough under the woman’s wandering eye to splurge and buy the hundred and fifty pound set.

Myfanwy stood from the couch and paced. Gestalt’s penthouse was unnervingly quiet when it was just her there. And her nerves were already walking a fine edge. She’d have to tell them tonight. Tell them about her betrayal. She wasn’t looking forward to it. Hence the lingerie.

She wasn’t playing fair. She knew it. Using seduction tactics to get her way. Which was simply that they wouldn’t kick her to the curb without another thought. She paced across the window wall. Even the gorgeous London night skyline couldn’t distract her from the little black bag and its racy contents.

“Too quiet,” she muttered. Her voice echoed off the high walls and bounced around the room before dying out. _Way_ too quiet.

She picked up the light grey remote and turned on the surround sound. Jazz began playing quietly all around her. She tapped the volume button – or what she _thought_ was the volume button – before the music switched over abruptly. She jumped in surprise and dropped the remote. As the loudest screaming she had ever heard filled the penthouse.

Myfanwy dropped down on her knees after the remote and tried to cover her ears at the same time. She didn’t want to risk hitting another wrong button and summoning something worse from the speakers. She flicked the power button and the speakers fell silent again.

Myfanwy groaned and stood up again. The black bag smirked at her. Myfanwy grimaced. _Yeah, yeah. I deserve it._

She grabbed up the bag and took it into the downstairs bathroom. She’d gone to a salon three days before to wax… well, everything. She still showered and applied a generous amount of rose oil over her freshly cleaned body.

She stared down the bag again. Fully nude this time. She put her hands on her hips. She’d spent mad money on the shit. She might as well get some sort of use out of it. She groaned and opened the bag to pull out the chemise first. She frowned and dug around until she found the ruffled panties. Crotchless because _of course_ they were.

The garter belt was harder to figure out. She hadn’t worn anything anywhere _near_ this risqué ever. She’d never cared about any of her exes enough to go through the trouble. Which probably explained why they were exes.

The thigh high stockings were a highly thought out decision. If she was going to do sexy lingerie, she was using every opportunity to conceal the evidence of her self-harm. The least sexy thing about her. 

It took twenty-five minutes for her to get into what was essentially underwear. Completely ridiculous. Not to mention humiliating. Not in appearance. Myfanwy knew she looked good. The humiliation came from the clear desperation of the act. She’d gone out and bought lingerie and painstakingly put it on in their penthouse. If that didn’t just scream horny she didn’t know what did.

Myfanwy pulled her hair up into a careful coif. Most partners relished in messing up her hair during sex. With her hair so short, it didn’t often matter. In its neat twist, the messiness would really standout.

She finished the look with a full face of makeup. Cat-eye eyeliner and a smoky eye she’d been practicing since she was twelve and by then a near expert at. The final touch was her blood red lipstick. She took one look at herself in the full length mirror and wanted to die.

_Desperate._ How fucking horny did she have to be to flig herself up in a pearl white boudoir outfit like she was about to pose for _Playboy_? _That_ was humiliating.

At least she was ready for it.

She checked the time. Just after midnight. She debated between the bed and the couch. The bed was just a little too needy. She settled back on the couch and squirmed against the tightness of the corset laced chemise.

She awoke to voices coming from the foyer. She blinked her eyes open and tried to remember where she was. The skyline was the first thing she registered. Followed by the voices. And their owners.

“You’ve been acting odd all day,” Conrad accused.

“They’re eager to see their sweetie,” Monica cooed.

“I _told_ you not to come up.”

“It’s after three in the morning! What are you going to do? Wake her up?”

“Thomas is _thirsty_. She’ll be over here in five seconds in nothing but her underwear once they call her to let her know.”

Myfanwy’s cheeks flamed at Monica’s keen assessment. She took solace in the fact that she had waited until she was already at their place before changing into her underwear.

The sound of footsteps and luggage made Myfanwy sink lower into the couch cushions. As long as they stayed near the kitchen and foyer, she was completely hidden from sight. She held her breath as footsteps made their way around the couch. She squeezed her eyes shut and imagined she was invisible.

Myfanwy peeked out through her lashes and straight into Robert’s dumbfounded face. She bit her bottom lip and curled her hands into fists. She was on the brink of throwing pride and dignity to the wind and throwing her arms around their neck regardless of who was watching.

“You have to go,” Gestalt barked with four voices.

“Now. Leave now.” Teddy ordered firmly.

“What?” Conrad demanded, baffled at the sudden change in tone.

“She’s over there on the couch, isn’t she?” Monica declared.

Myfanwy shut her eyes again. Here she thought she was ready for the evening’s humiliations.

“Wearing something racy, aren’t you, Thomas?”

Myfanwy opened her eyes and met Robert’s again. He gave her an infinitesimal shake of their head. Myfanwy swallowed and pressed her lips together.

“Monica. Leave.”

“Aw. I wanna see. I bet she looks hot. I remember that bikini you had her in. You’ve got a _bod_, Thomas!”

“Christ, Monica!” Conrad cried.

“Leave now or you’re fired,” Gestalt threatened.

Myfanwy knew Monica was rolling her eyes. “Such a drama queen! I showed you those pictures of Marcus.”

“I didn’t _ask_ to see those.”

“But I will tell him you did unless you leave right now.”

“Fine. I’m going. But I’m texting You-Know-Who and tattling,”

There was a beat of silence. Myfanwy wondered who You-Know-Who was and why Monica would threaten to tell them about Gestalt’s sexual activities. The silence stretched.

Finally, Robert nodded. Myfanwy was off the couch like a rocket and in Gestalt’s waiting arms. They squeezed her tightly. Maybe too tightly, but she didn’t care. It was Gestalt! They were back and they were in her arms! She was _holding_ them! Or… they were holding her, but they had more arms than she did.

“I’m sorry.” Robert kissed her.

“Tried to get them to leave –” Alex kissed her.

“Straight from Heathrow, but –” Teddy kissed her.

“They wouldn’t listen.” Eliza kissed her. Myfanwy sank into it. It’d been ages and it felt so good. She was so fucking wet. So goddamn desperate.

“Wait, wait!” Gestalt protested. They pulled Myfanwy’s arms from around their neck and stepped back with all four bodies. Myfanwy pouted.

“You went to all the trouble.” They gestured down at her body. “I want a proper look at you.”

“Before I mess it all up,” Teddy growled in her ear.

Gestalt raked four sets of eyes up and down her body on all sides. She twisted her fingers together and chewed at her cheek. God! Was it even possible to come just from somebody looking at you? Their stare was driving her mad. She squirmed impatiently.

“Alright, no more looking!” She slammed into Robert’s body and pulled his face down to hers.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I’ll never forget you standing in my living room like a boudoir bride on her wedding night,” Eliza rasped in her ear.

Myfanwy trembled in their hold and pushed herself more firmly against Robert’s body. Teddy’s hands squeezed her thighs through the stockings. Myfanwy leaned back into his chest, pulling Robert along with her. Teddy’s hands moved around and up until his fingers were pushing into her. She moaned loudly and unabashed. Ten days was too long without them.

“Christ, baby, you’re so fucking wet.”

“I want you,” she replied simply. As if it weren’t painfully obvious.

Teddy pulled her around and scooped his hands under her butt to pull her up his body. Her legs wrapped around his hips automatically. Comfortably. They started walking even as they continued kissing her.

“I swear to god, Gestalt, if you make me wait until you walk all the way up those fucking stairs….”

Gestalt chuckled and changed direction. They set her on the dining table and pushed her shoulders so she would lay back. Alex appeared at her head and grabbed her hands. He laced their fingers together and pulled her arms up over her head. Myfanwy wriggled her hips as she waited for Gestalt to satisfy her.

She gave a cry as Teddy filled her. She adjusted her legs to wrap around his hips again as he began driving into her mercilessly. The lights began flickering wildly overhead. Teddy’s hands remained firm on her hips and Alex’s hands kept hold of hers as if nothing unusual were happening.

_Keep the lights on, you loon!_

She squeezed Alex’s hands hard and rolled her head back on the table. Her eyes rolled back in her head as Teddy began hitting just the right spot. She felt the charge on her skin. The lick of her EVA as it coursed over and through her. She felt it slid across her skin and into Gestalt’s.

No sooner had she made note of the new observation than four shouts echoed around her. Teddy sagged over her barely catching himself on his hands before crushing her. Alex dropped to his knees at her head. His hands no longer gripping hers and instead limply resting in hers.

Myfanwy frowned. They’d never come like that without her coming, too. She knew it’d be a few minutes before they were even able to move again. She slid her hands from Alex’s and sat up. Teddy slid from her and collapsed into one of the chairs. She stood up and adjusted the panties that had bunched uncomfortably during Teddy’s ministrations.

_Well, that’s what you get for trying to be sneaky._

Eliza was the most cognizant of the bodies. Her eyes followed Myfanwy as she lay against the back of the couch. Myfanwy felt nothing but guilt now. The outfit, the desperate fucking, the distinct lack of conversation…. All of it was a selfish ploy to keep Gestalt from leaving once they found out.

“Baby,” Eliza called before Myfanwy could reach the bathroom. Myfanwy stopped to look at her. “C’mere. Lemme finish you.”

The temptation was undeniable. But she’d tried the one last orgasm thing already and look where it’d gotten her. She was undeserving of that adoring look in their eyes. She’d betrayed them. Betrayed their trust. _She’d_ done that.

“I’m sorry,” she started. And then the tears came. She turned away from Gestalt and scrubbed at her eyes as if she could shove the traitorous tears back in. Behind her came the clattering of chairs and the pattering of feet. Arms wrapped around her tightly as they cupped her to their chests.

“Oh, baby, shh. You didn’t hurt me. Everything’s alright.”

Myfanwy fought a sob and lost. _They’ll never hold me like this once they know._ She shook her head and forced herself to explain.

“I brought Ingrid over when I was looking for my shoes, remember?”

“Yeah?” Uncertainty hung in that single syllable.

“I didn’t tell her anything. I swear. She’s just… very observant. I told her to stop asking. I had to beg her not to pry further, but she’s so clever. It was the way I talk about you that really did it. It was so stupid and so thoughtless! But now she knows you’re an EVA. Or, at least, she knows that you _have_ EVAs. I don’t know that she understands what exactly it is and I’ve been too afraid to ask.” She came to the end of her speech and waited for the yelling. The hatred.

“Is that what this is all about?”

“You avoided me for two days because of that?”

Something in their tone made her look up. Eliza brushed away the tears clinging to Myfanwy’s cheeks with her thumbs.

“I don’t mind if you tell Ingrid.”

“What?”

“I mean, I’d rather you didn’t blab to the whole world. I just don’t mind if you tell your best friend. If you trust her with your secret then I think you can trust her with mine.”

Myfanwy’s mind reeled. “You aren’t angry?”

“Of course I’m not angry.”

“A little frustrated perhaps.”

“But that’s mostly because we’ve been alone for over a half an hour and I still haven’t made you come.”

Myfanwy laughed through her tears. The relief was overwhelming. She’d spent a week convinced she’d effectively brought an end to the only relationship she’d ever wanted more than her privacy. More than life. Now she finds out it was all an overreaction.

Myfanwy sniffled and rubbed at her puffy eyes with the heels of her hands before giving them her best smile.

“There’s still time.”

Gestalt smiled back. Robert cupped the back of her neck and kissed her tenderly.

“Whatever you want.”


	18. A-Class Moron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt and Myfanwy get into a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING**  
Self harm discussed at length.

She could feel them between her legs. The bed was dipped under their weight. She didn’t know which one. She only knew it wasn’t Alex as she had her face pressed into his neck. They weren’t moving and the only part of her they were touching was the inside of her thigh.

Their warm hand felt nice where it was, but it would feel so much nicer just a few inches higher. She spread her knees a bit more in encouragement. The hand didn’t move. Their thumb ran back and forth across her thigh once, but no more. Myfanwy pried her eyes open to look up at them.

Robert sat between her legs staring down at her thigh as if it were a monster set to swallow them up. Myfanwy’s stomach twisted as she realized what they were looking at. At some point in the night, her stocking had been torn off exposing her carefully concealed self-harm lines.

Myfanwy sat up quickly. She shoved Gestalt’s hand away and brought her knees up to her chest. It was too late. The damage had been done. From the look on all four of their faces they weren’t going to ignore it.

“I never asked,” Eliza began.

“I thought they were just part of your past.”

“I assumed it was something stupid and reckless you had done in your teenage years.”

“But those cuts are fresh.”

Myfanwy pressed her lips together. The shock and horror in their voices hurt more than any little slice could. 

“Just forget you saw that,” she tried.

Gestalt stared at her for a half second dumbfounded. “Forget….”

“What the _fuck_, Myfanwy?” They demanded in stereo.

She flinched. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You’re hurting yourself.”

“_Cutting_ yourself!”

“That’s not okay.”

“That’s not nothing.”

“I’m fine.” She really just wanted them to drop it. She’d already heard it all a thousand times before.

Gestalt glared at her. Actually _glared_ at her. She had never seen them angry before. Never. Especially not at her. Robert grabbed her ankle and yanked until her offensive thigh was exposed again. Myfanwy quickly covered the patch of scars with her hands, but Teddy and Alex took her wrists and pulled them away.

Myfanwy had never been afraid of them before. She’d never felt small or outmatched. Not until that moment.

“Hey!” She protested, trying to keep the fear from her voice.

“Look here!” They jabbed their finger at her cuts. “You don’t exactly have a protective layer, Myfanwy. This is your femoral vein. Takes deoxygenated blood back to your heart.”

Myfanwy scowled now. “Yes, thank you. I _did_ take biology.”

“So you know that if you nick it you’ll bleed out in about four minutes.”

Myfanwy kicked at their hold and twisted to free her hands. She was completely aware that the only real reason she got free was because they chose to let her go. She scrambled off the bed and away from them.

“I’m careful. I’m not cutting that deep.”

“No, Myfanwy. Don’t make excuses.”

“This has to stop.”

Myfanwy scooped up the first shirt she could find from the floor and tugged it on. “Or what? You’ll punish me? What the fuck do you think the cutting’s for?”

“Myfanwy,” they started tiredly.

“You have no reason to punish yourself.”

“I have forty-three reasons to punish myself.” Even if that hadn’t been the reason behind the recent cuts. She’d never tell.

Myfanwy stomped down the stairs. She heard them coming after her, but she was quick. She managed to lock herself into the downstairs bathroom before they could reach her.

“Myfanwy, we aren’t done talking about this,” they shouted through the door.

Myfanwy tugged the borrowed shirt and chemise off quickly. “I am.”

“Myfanwy, you were just a kid back then!”

“You didn’t mean to do it.”

“That’s no reason to cut yourself.”

“That’s a reason for therapy.”

Myfanwy jerked the bathroom door open again and shoved her way throw them. “Don’t you _dare_ talk to me about therapy.”

“Look, I know the name of a really good psychiatrist. He–”

Myfanwy’s whole body went numb. Her hand whipped out of its own accord and struck Alex square across the face. She froze and stared down at her hand bewildered. She ran to the lift and jammed the call button.

“Myfanwy, don’t just leave. I’m not trying to upset you.”

“But seeing those cuts and knowing you did that to yourself.”

“It pisses me off.”

“You need help.”

The lift doors opened at last. She slammed her finger into the door close button before pressing the button for the garage. She could feel herself shutting down. The world was spiraling out from beneath her.

“Go for Bronwyn,” her sister chirped out.

“B-bron, I need… I need you to come get me.”

“Myfanwy?”

“Please?” She wasn’t entirely sure where she was just then. Only that it was breezy. Her voice echoed back at her.

“I’ll be right there.”

* * *

Gestalt was pissed. They were angry. They were hurt. Myfanwy had actually _slapped_ them. Myfanwy! Like it was they that were in the wrong!

Monica spun around on the barstool by their kitchen counter. “Well, _I_ can’t believe she just up and left. I thought for sure Conrad and I would have to pull you guys apart come Wednesday.”

“What was I supposed to do?” They demanded furiously.

“She’s _cutting_ herself, Monica!”

“I’m not going to sit back and condone it!”

Monica threw her hands up in mock surrender. “I wasn’t suggesting you should.”

“She can be pissed all she wants.”

“So long as she stops hurting herself.”

Monica frowned now. “I know I’m only getting half the story here, but I’m pretty sure Thomas knows what she’s doing isn’t healthy. And if she’s been doing it as long as you say, I’m sure she’s well aware of the risks.”

“So–”

“So she’s not a dog. You can’t just hold her down and point at the bad thing and say ‘No! Bad dog!’ and expect her to immediately correct her behavior.” She paused. “I mean, you certainly _could_ hold her down and do that if you were an absolute monster and were ready for her to go Lorena Bobbitt on all three of your dicks.”

Gestalt grimaced. That had been almost exactly what they’d done that morning. Apparently one stinging slap was Myfanwy letting them off early. But they were reluctant to back down from their side.

“The behavior _does_ need corrected,” the insisted crossing their arms.

Monica stared at them slack jawed for a minute. “Wow. And here I thought you always hated your Checquy handlers. Here you are emulating them.”

Four spines stiffened.

“_I AM NOT!”_

Monica huffed and jumped up from her seat. “Okay, this has been fun, but I think I’ll go and do my work downstairs. Turns out I’d rather stand in a smelly parking garage than listen to you bozos whine.”

Gestalt sneered at her as she left before throwing themselves around the furniture. They grabbed the stereo remote and jabbed the on button. They jerked in surprise as the sultry sounds of Megadeath bombarded their eardrums at an immeasurable volume. They considered changing it, but decided to let it play instead.

The redness on Alex’s face had gone down, but three little groves were dug in just below his eye where her nails had bit into his skin. Luckily, she’d slapped Alex instead of any of the other three. Alex they could hide in the back while on stage.

Monday rolled around without so much as a word from Myfanwy. They’d arrogantly assumed she just needed a few minutes or hours to calm down. To see that Gestalt was right and that she had overreacted. All four call logs came up empty. The only messages in their inboxes were from Conrad regarding the last leg of their tour.

The clock was winding down on the little time they had left to together before they had to leave again. Madrid, Nice, and Paris where the last stops. Oh, and the charity gig they’d agreed to in Positano. They’d have a day or two after Paris to relax at home before leaving again. Not enough time. Especially if they were going to spend two days fighting with Myfanwy instead of fucking her like they’d planned.

“Maybe you were too rough with her,” they mused out loud though their words were swallowed immediately by the death metal.

“Should’ve eased into it more gently.”

_More gently?_

_How did you become the one at fault here?_

After another two hours of arguing with themselves, Gestalt picked up one of their phones and dialed her number. The line rang and rang before switching over to her voicemail. Gestalt felt sick. It was just like those two days during their tour when she’d stopped answering their calls. Except this time was worse because now they _knew_ she was avoiding them.

They tried again, simultaneously sending her a text begging her to pick up. The line went to voicemail. They called a third time.

“What?” A husky voice snapped.

“Bronwyn?”

“Yeah. What do you want?”

“Why are you answering Myfanwy’s phone? Where is she?”

There was a beat of silence. “She’s unavailable at the moment. I’m sure she’ll give you a call when she’s got the time.” Bronwyn paused again. “And if she doesn’t, you can just go ahead and take it as a great big ‘Fuck off’ and call it a day.”

Gestalt gritted their teeth and tried to keep their voice level. “Put Myfanwy on the phone, _please_.”

“Look, I would. Honestly. Nothing would give me greater joy than for her to tell you to fuck off herself, but I really, really can’t.”

Something shuffled on Bronwyn’s end. “Oh, no, Ingrid! We’re avoiding them, remember?” Bronwyn’s voice was suddenly distant. “No, I _know_ it’s her favorite, but who knows what they did to set her off.”

“Bronwyn?”

“Look, just try Hall and Oates. She likes them well enough.”

“Bronwyn, why can’t you put Myfanwy on?”

“Hm? Oh, sorry, I don’t actually have time for this right now.”

“No, don’t hang–”

“Bye!” The line disconnected and Gestalt was left in the lurch.

Gestalt hurled their phone across the room where it slammed across the wall and dropped to the ground to lie face down. They paced as they tried to decipher the cryptic information they had overheard.

The bottom line was that they were at Myfanwy’s flat. That much was obvious. They dressed in a hurry. Everything was designed to conceal their faces and hair. Hats, scarves, hoods, and sunglasses. They’d been informed about Myfanwy’s new flock of pigeons gathering outside her building. Not by Myfanwy, of course. She always had to keep everything to herself.

They tried calling again when they pulled up in front of the building. There was no answer and they had stopped expecting one. They weren’t especially proud of their plan. It stank of a Checquy op, but this was Myfanwy. If her sister or her friend were preventing them from speaking with her, they had to know.

Not that they knew what they planned to say when they did see her. 

They used Alex to ring the buzzer for the flat at the far end of Myfanwy’s floor. They had to wait a minute for a reply. They were on the verge of ringing a different flat when an older woman’s voice crackled through the old speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Oh, thank God! I’m so sorry to bother you, ma’am, but I live in two-oh-four and I’ve just locked myself out. I would call my wife, but she’s all the way across town right now and I really don’t want to have to wait out here with the…ehem… rabble. Would you be so kind as to buzz me in?”

They held their breath and waited for a minute while the old woman deliberated. At last, the door buzzed and they held it while their other bodies darted across the sidewalk and ducked inside. They took the stairs instead of risking another ride in the decrepit lift that served Myfanwy’s building. They honestly had no idea how Myfanwy could stand the thing.

They knocked on her door only then realizing that it was midday on a Monday. That Myfanwy shouldn’t be in her flat. She should be at work.

“Come off it Margarite!” Bronwyn’s husky voice shouted through the door. “We turned it bloody down!”

The door swung open. ‘_Go Your Own Way’_ by Fleetwood Mac drifted into the hall. Bronwyn scowled at them.

“When I told you Myfanwy didn’t want to talk to you, which part of it confused you?” She snapped. “D’you need me to say it in Chinese?”

“Who is it?” Ingrid shouted.

“Dumbass to the power of four,” Bronwyn answered holding heavy eye contact with Teddy.

“Who?” Ingrid wheeled herself into the foyer. Her face fell. “Oh, you _shitheads_!”

“Excuse me?”

“You should go,” Bronwyn grabbed the door to shut it on them. Teddy threw their hand out to stop it.

“I’ll leave when somebody explains what the fuck is going on. Where’s Myfanwy?”

There was a tense moment that stretched on as Bronwyn glared at them. They had no doubt the dirty hippie was imagining about a hundred ways to kill them. They just didn’t know why. Their fight hadn’t been that extreme in their world. They’d seen far too many brutal fights in their clubbing days to think otherwise.

Ingrid let out a sigh. “They’re here now, Bron. Might as well let them in.”

Bronwyn glared a second longer before conceding. She stepped aside and watched them squeeze their way into the small apartment. Everything looked normal. The power was still on. Nothing was burned or charred. It all just seemed like another overreaction.

That is, until they spotted Myfanwy. She was curled up on the couch with a large comforter wrapped around her shoulders. Dark circles rimmed her vacant eyes. Lifeless. She stared across the room without seeing anything. Sat there that way, she hardly looked human.

“Myfanwy?” They called with Robert’s voice.

There was no indication that she had heard them. Not a twitch. They moved over to kneel in front of her.

“What is this? Why’s she like this?” They asked to anyone that might answer.

Ingrid wheeled over and pulled the comforter more snugly around Myfanwy’s slim shoulders. “It’s something that happens sometimes when she feels scared or threatened. There’s three schools of thought when put into those situations, flight, fight, and freeze. Myfanwy takes the freezing a bit seriously.”

“You’re saying I scared her?”

“We’re saying you morons did or said something that made her shut down,” Bronwyn accused. “As for what, well, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“So what do we do?”

Bronwyn snorted. “_We_? You assholes have done enough.”

“Alright! I get it. I fucked up. Now, maybe you can tell me what to do to fix it!”

Ingrid looked down at them crouched in front of Myfanwy. “Fix it? There aren’t any magic words to say here. No wand to wave and make everything okay. There’s only waiting and being there for her when she comes back.” Ingrid explained everything with a fraction more patience than Bronwyn. Still, it was clear that she held no less contempt for them.

“Six years. It has been six _goddamn_ years since she’s had an episode. You’ve known her, what? A month? It took you a _month_ to break her.”

“I know she–”

“Let’s be clear on one thing, Gestalt. You don’t know anything. Least of all Myfanwy.”

Bronwyn stomped away from them and began to rifle through a stack of albums strewn across Myfanwy’s dining table. After a few minutes of tense silence, they sent Eliza over to watch.

They wanted to resent the little pest. It was so much harder to do now that they knew what she did. Even more that they knew how much she really and truly cared for Myfanwy. And if Marcus Kevlar gave her a glowing commendation, thinking of her as anything other than a capable force of nature was akin to blasphemy.

Over the five days she’d stayed down the hall from them in hotels across Europe, they’d learned more about her themselves. More about Myfanwy, too. They knew the gruff, dirty hippie exterior was all a disguise to hide her bleeding heart. They even knew that it bled the most for her big sister. The only person Bronwyn seemed to idolize. And Gestalt couldn’t fault her that.

“Is that my album?” They reached out and pulled a faded, blue record out of the stack. It was well worn. More than a decade old and very obviously well loved.

“It’s not like you didn’t know she was a fan,” Bronwyn grumbled.

Eliza pulled the record from its sheathe and stuck it on the turntable. They listened to the first track in silence. Occasionally, they would hum along. By the third song, they were singing right along with their prerecorded selves. They moved around the room and occupied what little seating Myfanwy had.

Bronwyn tossed herself into the armchair across the coffee table from Myfanwy. Ingrid bopped her head along to some of the songs, but she didn’t sing along.

The final track on the album caught them off guard. They hadn’t thought of it since recording it twelve years earlier. They never played it live. It was the memorial ballad they had written for their best friend. 

“This is her favorite,” Ingrid murmured, absently.

They sat beside her on one of the dining chairs. Eliza was next to Myfanwy on the couch. Robert hadn’t moved from where they were kneeling in front of her. The pain they had felt all those years ago when they were writing and recording the song came back in full force. It screamed through them no matter how softly Eliza sang through the lyrics. It hadn’t ever eased. They’d only gotten better at avoiding it.

Eliza met her own voice on the final chorus;

“_Will, you remember_  
Will, we ran so far  
It was meant to be forever  
But, Will, you crashed down so hard  
Will, you fell so hard.”

Myfanwy’s hand twitched in her lap. The album ended and the turntable speakers let out dull, squeaky static to fill the air. Suddenly, Myfanwy turned and looked at Gestalt across the room. Straight in the eyes. She looked so small and haunted. Dwarfed by the giant comforter around her.

“I want to go home,” she whimpered.

Ingrid dropped her hand from her chin. Bronwyn jumped to her feet and stared at Myfanwy with wide eyes.

Gestalt frowned in confusion. “You are home?”

A tear dropped from the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek. Gestalt reached up automatically and brushed it away. Myfanwy looked down and held their eyes. Life flickered behind them.

“I want to go home,” she insisted.

A memory jumped into their minds. Myfanwy in quarantine. They watched her pacing through the porthole window when she suddenly stopped and looked directly at them. She locked eyes with them and they couldn’t look away. She looked so angry. Fearsome. “_I want to go home_.”

“Oh.” Gestalt nodded slowly. “Okay, Myfanwy, let’s go home.”

They stood up and reached their hands down for her. Bronwyn and Ingrid were both watching and trying to decide whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. Ready at any moment to put a stop to whatever it was that was happening. Myfanwy took both of their hands and let them pull her to her feet. She was still wearing what she’d left their place in the day before.

“What are you doing?” Bronwyn demanded.

“Shh!” Gestalt hissed. “We’re sneaking her out.”

Myfanwy nodded firmly. Teddy helped her into her coat while they pulled on their discretion attire. They took Alex’s scarf and wrapped it around Myfanwy’s head, too. They used Eliza’s sunglasses to hide her eyes.

“What is this?” Ingrid whispered.

“A disguise,” Myfanwy answered simply.

Gestalt smiled at her. “Exactly so.”

They went to the door. Myfanwy pressed herself close to Eliza and tried to peek out with them. They checked that it was empty before waving them all forward.

They crept out to the stairway. Bronwyn and Ingrid followed slowly. This was obviously not in any of their playbooks. Myfanwy grabbed Eliza’s hand in both of hers. They stopped at the door to the stairwell.

“We need to split up.”

Myfanwy nodded.

“Excuse me?” Bronwyn challenged.

Gestalt groaned. “Alright, fine. Teddy, Robert, and Ingrid will take the lift. The rest of us will take the stairs.”

“What are we doing?” Ingrid demanded once they were inside the lift.

“We’re breaking Myfanwy out of the Checquy.”

“What does that mean?”

Gestalt rolled their heads back and shut their eyes for a second. “It’s not a trick. We’re breaking her out. Simple as that.”

“But she’s not _in_ the Checquy.”

Gestalt sighed. “No. _You’re _not in the Checquy. Myfanwy very much is.”

The lift doors opened into the lobby. Teddy and Robert leaned against the wall and tugged at their hoods to make sure their faces were well and truly covered. The rest of them were coming down the last flight of stairs. When they reached the lobby, Myfanwy locked up again.

“He’s there,” she hissed into Eliza’s ear, “he’s waiting for me.”

“It’s just me,” they reassured her. “We’re keeping an eye out for him, don’t worry.”

They had no idea who _he_ was or why Myfanwy was terrified of him. They didn’t even have an exact destination in mind as they led everybody out onto the street. Everything from the minute Bronwyn had hung up on them was them winging it. Everything since they’d met _Myfanwy_ had been them winging it. Getting knocked out of the air at every turn.

They led her into the park a few blocks from her building. They stopped near a large tree and turned to Myfanwy again.

“Alright, Myfanwy, this is as far as we can take you. You’re safe now though, yeah?”

She stared at the tree for a long time without saying anything. “Oh.”

“Myfanwy?”

She turned and smiled at her sister. “It’s okay, Bron. I made it home.”

Bronwyn squinted at her and nodded.

“You alright, Myf?” Gestalt asked, working extra hard to keep the urgency out of their voice.

She gave a small nod. “I’m fine. Just need to sleep I think.”

“I’ll walk you back,” they offered.

Myfanwy shook her head. “It’s alright. I can get there from here.”

Gestalt couldn’t decide if she was really there or if this was still somehow part of the charade. They watched her continue down the path back towards her flat.

“You know, she really does need to see a psychiatrist. I’ve met war veterans with less severe cases of PTSD.”

“Did you tell her that?” Ingrid asked.

They nodded. “Offered her the number of one I know.”

“Idiot,” Bronwyn and Ingrid said together.

“Do me a favor and the next time you think about telling my sister what she needs, punch yourself in the face instead. Save me the hassle.”


	19. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy talks to Bronwyn, Ingrid, and Gestalt.

Myfanwy woke up in the dark. She blinked hard. Her eyes felt dry. The clock on her bedside said it was three twenty-one. She stretched and rolled out of bed. Her body felt foggy. Almost like it belonged to someone else.

She made her way into the bathroom to shower. Water hot enough to melt away the tension in her muscles that had worked its way all the way down to her bones. Myfanwy dressed for work. It was Tuesday. She’d only lost a day. Infinitely better than some of her previous episodes, but her body felt worse. Or maybe it was just because it had been so long since she’d had an episode that she’d become less accustomed to the aftereffects. 

Bronwyn jolted up on the couch when she came into down the hallway. Her hair was a mess, but then again it always was. Myfanwy started the coffee maker and the toaster. She hadn’t eaten in almost forty-eight hours. Bronwyn sat on the edge of the couch and scrubbed her hands down her face.

“How bad was I?”

Bronwyn shook her head and stifled a yawn. “It was pretty typical at first.” 

Myfanwy poured some of the coffee into a mug and brought it to her sister along with the toast for herself. She sat on the couch beside her and took a large bite. “At first?”

Bronwyn sipped the coffee and sighed. “Mm. Gestalt showed up yesterday. After that….”

Myfanwy froze. The toast was suddenly hard to swallow. She forced it down and set the rest on the coffee table. “You invited Gestalt over?”

Bronwyn scowled at Myfanwy. “No, I did  _ not _ ‘invite them over’ they showed up. I told them to leave lord knows how many times, but do they listen? No. Fucking pricks.”

Myfanwy dropped her head and wrapped her hands around the back of her neck. “What exactly happened?”

Bronwyn leaned back into the couch. She clasped the coffee mug between her hands and held it up in front of her face as if just inhaling the steam would help wake her up. “It was  _ weird _ , Myf. You were your usual self for a while and then out of nowhere you started talking to them. Worse, they seemed to understand exactly what you were saying even though it was complete nonsense. You were all suddenly in your own little world and Ingrid and I were just an unwitting audience.”

Myfanwy scrubbed at her head and tried to draw up some memory of the conversation her sister was talking about. As per usual, her episodes were wiped from memory. In a way, Myfanwy stopped existing during them. At least, the Myfanwy that she was. Some other Myfanwy. Some other thing took over for her while she withdrew from the world and hid in the darkest, most secret part of her mind.

“What did I say?”

Bronwyn shrugged. “You said you wanted to go home. Except you were sitting right there when you said it.” Bronwyn took a big drink of her coffee. “Gestalt got you on your feet which i honestly didn’t think was even  _ possible _ when you were like that. But they walked you all the way down to the park. Then… you just… you came back here and crawled into bed and went to sleep. I’ve never seen you do anything like that. And after hearing what they said to set you off I really thought it’d be days before you were this cognizant again.”

Myfanwy leaned back and looked out the window. The sun was peeking over the horizon. Good thing she was already dressed for work. She had time to sit and process.

“If I’m honest, it scared me,” Bronwyn confessed in a small voice Myfanwy hadn’t heard in years.

“Sorry. I know it’s never fun for you. I don’t mean to space out like that, you know. I really appreciate what you do for me, Bron.”

Bronwyn shook her head. “Not that, Myf. I don’t care about that. You know I’ll always be there when you need me. It was the… the connection you had with them. You’ve known them all of a month and it’s like they know you better than I do.”

Myfanwy’s mouth fell open. The protest was there as an automatic response, but she realized that wasn’t what Bronwyn needed to hear. She pressed her lips together in thought.

“Gestalt was at the Checquy when I was there. It isn’t a matter of them knowing me better, they just know me a bit differently.” Myfanwy shrugged then gave her sister a coy smile. “Good thing, too. Pretty sure if you knew me like they did that would be illegal.”

Bronwyn snorted into her coffee. “You aren’t my type.”

Myfanwy picked her toast back up and started eating. “I know. You like ‘em wild.”

Bronwyn stood up and stretched. “You going to work today?”

Myfanwy nodded and continued looking out the window. Bronwyn set her coffee mug on the counter and started down the hall. A few minutes later, Myfanwy heard the shower kick on. It was almost seven. She’d go into work early and try to catch up from all of her missed time. There was a meeting on Wednesday she needed to finish the reports for.

“Myf,” Bronwyn called. Myfanwy paused on her way out the door. Bronwyn looked up from her laptop screen and chewed at her lip. “They asked me to tell you to call them.” She looked down. “You know… when you’re not busy or anything.”

Myfanwy nodded. She’d assumed something along those lines. They had another flight the next day. They weren’t going to leave on a sour note. It wasn’t their style.

She was swamped most of the day. In three short days, sixteen new variables had presented themselves to the client’s expense reports. She only knew it was lunchtime when Ingrid showed up with two deli sandwiches.

“How are you feeling?”

Myfanwy didn’t look away from her screen. “Behind.” She sighed and tapped in another six digits to the spreadsheet.

“No, I meant from… well?” 

Myfanwy nodded. “Mm, yeah. I’m good. Putting it behind me.” She stopped and met Ingrid’s eyes. “Thank you, by the way. For being there. I know it’s never easy.”

Ingrid rolled her eyes and smiled. “Myfanwy Thomas, you insult me.”

“How so?”

“As if I would leave my best friend to suffer without helping.”

Myfanwy grinned and took a bite of her sandwich. She went back to working on the expense reports. Ingrid was quiet a few minutes. The only sounds in the office were the occasional crinkle of deli paper and the clack of Myfanwy’s keyboard.

“Did Bronwyn mention that Gestalt was there yesterday?”

Myfanwy’s fingers stopped over her keyboard. She licked her lips and swallowed. She kept her eyes on the screen. She nodded once.

“And the... . Did she tell you what happened at all?”

Myfanwy sat back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap. “She did, yeah.”

Ingrid scratched the space between her eyebrows. “Well, I’m just a bit concerned. You haven’t really known them for that long, you know?”

“I know.”

“And it’s just so  _ fast _ . And we honestly thought it was just infatuation at first. I thought you were just having a bit of fun, but it’s very obviously much more serious than that. And the way you behaved together yesterday was…. I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of episodes in the past and I’ve never seen anything like that.”

“I know, Ing. I know. I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s not like I was in control of myself yesterday.”

Ingrid stared down at her sandwich. She pulled at the seeds on her bread. “I want you to say you’re going to slow things down. Or at least  _ think _ about slowing things down. You’re moving really fast and I don’t want to see it burn out or you guys break up or… or them to do something else that sets of an even worse episode than this time.”

Myfanwy rubbed her eye and took a slow breath. “I know.” She gave Ingrid a tight smile. “Look, I still have a lot of work to do on this account. Do you mind if we talk later?”

Ingrid winced and Myfanwy felt like scum. She buried her face in her hands once Ingrid left and tried to get her focus back on work. She finally succumbed and pulled her phone out to text Gestalt.

**GESTALT GROUP:**

**Can we talk later? I’ll be home around 8.**

The response was near instantaneous.

**ELIZA:**

**Do you want me to pick you up?**

**MYFANWY:**

**Could you just meet me at my place?**

**TEDDY:**

**I’ll be there at 8.**

Myfanwy sighed and dropped her phone back into her purse. She took a minute to massage her temples before delving back into the client reports.

She wasn’t completely finished when she packed up at seven thirty, but she was determined to meet Gestalt on time. The meeting wasn’t until two the following afternoon which meant she still had a few hours in the morning to finish up. Ingrid was already gone when she left. They hadn’t spoken more than a few words since lunch. As if Myfanwy didn’t already feel like the worst shit in the world.

It was Teddy waiting for her. She looked around for any of the other bodies, but it would seem Teddy was alone. She smiled at him. At least, she tried to. She knew it didn’t come out quite right. Her chest was tight.

Instead of meeting them at the door, she cocked her head to indicate they should follow her. Teddy frowned and looked between her and her building. She could see the uncertainty and fear quickly building in their eyes. Teddy shoved his hands in his pockets and followed after her. She walked back to the park Bronwyn had told her they’d walked to the day before. The streetlights glowed a dull yellow. It was warmer now. Even at night. She barely needed her hat and gloves.

“You alright?” Teddy asked. She could hear the forced calm in their voice.

Myfanwy bobbed her head. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m alright. You?”

“Yeah.” They looked up at the tree they were under. “You remember being here yesterday?”

Myfanwy shook her head. “No. Bron told me about it, though.”

She moved over to the bench just off the walkway and sat down. Teddy remained standing. There was something in the air between them. A warning. They both felt it. It whispered of foreboding.

“I’m sorry,” Gestalt started. Teddy pulled at his ear. “I didn’t know about your triggers.”

Myfanwy shrugged.

It was quiet for a moment. Myfanwy chewed at her cheek as she thought of what to say.

“I think we need to take a break,” she blurted.

Teddy’s face was completely blank. Void of all emotion. He turned his gaze up to the trees canopy again. She watched them swallow.

Gestalt cleared their throat. They knocked their knuckle against their nose and sniffed. “Yeah,” he said with forced casualty. “Yeah, I figured it would be something like that.”

Myfanwy stood up. She wanted to comfort them, but knew that wouldn’t help anything. She crossed her arms over her chest instead.

“It’s just we’ve jumped into this so quickly. I think we’d both benefit from some time apart. I know you’re leaving for Spain tomorrow. Maybe we can meet up when you get back and have a few weeks free. Work through everything together more slowly. I don--”

Gestalt held up their hand. “There’s no need. Honestly, Myfanwy. I saw this coming.” They shoved their hands back in their pockets and gave her a relaxed smile. “I get it. It’s okay.”

They shrugged. They looked entirely indifferent. Unbothered.

Myfanwy wanted to cry. Stupid. She was the one asking for a break. It hurt in spectacular ways to know that she had been right the whole time. The affair had been majorly one sided. No matter how they’d acted or how they’d treated her, they didn’t feel the same for her as she did for them. They never would. She was broken beyond repair. Glass sand that would only bloody their hands to sift through.

She watched them walk away. Back through the park with their hands still shoved in their pockets. Not once did they look back. Myfanwy gulped in lungfuls of brisk, spring air and tried to calm herself back down. The heat didn’t disappear from her eyes. Even as she made her way back to her loft. 

The weather may have warmed, but Myfanwy felt a dreadful cold all the way down to her bones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I took a day out of NaNo to write this chapter.   
Also, sorry the update was so angsty.


	20. Collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***TRIGGER WARNING***  
Sexual assault in graphic detail.  
Dramatic problems require dramatic solutions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK about this one, fellas.......

Gestalt was angry. Or maybe they were sad. But they didn’t want to be sad so they decided to be angry instead. She’d broken up with them because they’d been concerned about her well being. They didn’t want to see her hurting herself and that was grounds for dismissal.

Okay, yes. They had gone a little extreme with their methods. And they hadn’t known about her PTSD. At least, they hadn’t known how severe it was. Everyone that had been chewed up and spit out by the Checquy had some form of PTSD or another. Gestalt was no exception.

They couldn’t blame her. Gestalt was fucking inept when it came to personal relationships. There was a reason they didn’t have any close friends outside of their working relationships with Monica and Conrad. They didn’t know the first thing about relationships of any kind. They were bound to fuck up the first one they ever attempted. But they loved Myfanwy. There wasn’t any question in their minds. They loved her. And they’d lost her.

Nothing was going to fill the pit within them. The gap formed by the missing body.

They went through their tour robotically. In the interim, they smoked and drank and did everything in their power to think about anything other than Myfanwy and her absence. The last words she said echoed through their heads the minute sobriety started to form.

“ _ We’ve jumped into this so quickly _ .”

They’d planned on waiting. Putting off fucking her for three dates. That had been their plan. Take it slow.  _ She’d _ been the one to ask them to fuck her on the first date. Now they’d been ‘moving too quickly.’

“Bitch,” Gestalt muttered with four voices.

“Sorry?” The bikini clad model asked from Teddy’s lap.

They were on a yacht somewhere near Positano. They’d finished their charity gig two or maybe three days earlier. They were in for three months of relaxation. Three months of aching over Myfanwy. Three months to recover.

“No, nothing. Um… what’s your name?” 

The woman smiled. Woman seemed a strong word. She suddenly looked very young. Childlike. “Cadence.”

“Cadence, would you mind fucking off?”

Her face fell. Gestalt knew they should care, but they couldn’t be bothered. They were angry.

“Have I done something?”

“No.”

Cadence thought for a moment. “Would you  _ like _ me to do something?”

Gestalt stared at her. She couldn’t have been more than eighteen or nineteen. A child. “No.”

Cadence sulked and climbed off their lap.

“Your brother seems dour.” Another model leaned against the railing beside Robert and Eliza.

“She’s just a kid.”

The other model was older. Maybe in her late twenties. Closer to fuckable, but not Gestalt’s type. She’d dyed her hair blonde making her dark eyes stand out. Her skin was tan and her Italian accent was thick. Of course, she was beautiful, but Gestalt couldn’t find it in any of their bodies to fuck her.

“She’s not that young. Just a young face.”

Gestalt shook their head. “Not our type.”

That intrigued the model. “You have the same type, then? Whoever  _ is _ your type must feel special. One partner is fine, but to have two or three beautiful men with their hands all over her. Delicious.”

Gestalt fought the eye roll on Robert’s face, but let Eliza’s body do as it will. “Run away now, goat.”

The model and Eliza stared each other down. Eliza arched her brow in challenge. The model looked up at Robert, but Gestalt kept that face out to the sea. They weren’t too far from shore. They could still see the little tea colored houses on the horizon. The model stormed off very obviously jilted.

They couldn’t remember whose boat they were on. It wasn’t theirs. Their yacht was white. This one was tan with a violet stripe around it and an odd symbol on the sails. They recognized it vaguely, but didn’t care enough to remember.

Alex’s phone buzzed. No. Teddy’s phone buzzed. One of their phones buzzed. They pulled it out and looked down.

Bronwyn.

Who cared? Myfanwy had nothing to do with them anymore. Maybe they should track down the orgy model. Really push Myfanwy’s face out of their mind.

Their phone buzzed again. Bronwyn. Again. 

After the forth text, Gestalt gave in and opened the messages if only to tell the cunt to fuck off for good.

**BRONWYN:**

**You know you’re on every tabloid.**

**BRONWYN:**

**Do you hate her so much?**

**BRONWYN:**

**You know I don’t care what you do**

**but my sister is hurting because of this.**

**She’d never say or do anything to**

**hurt you, but I will.**

**BRONWYN:**

**I’m going to chop your balls off.**

**All 6.**

There was an attached picture to one of the messages. A tabloid cover with Robert at some club they couldn’t remember kissing some girl they didn’t know. Their stomachs dropped. They didn’t remember kissing the girl, but the idea that Myfanwy had seen that photo. An overwhelming sense of guilt bubbled up.

_ Stupid _ .

_ What have you got to feel guilty over? _

_ She dumped you. _

Alex grabbed a glass of something off a passing tray and downed it. Fruity, but alcoholic. Gestalt quickly set to acquiring drinks for the rest of their bodies. They needed to drink. To be drunk. Eliza snatched a joint out of a man’s hand and took a deep drag. They handed it back and walked away, blowing the smoke slowly through their lips.

Alex’s phone buzzed again. They whipped it back out and fired a text back without reading what Bronwyn had sent.

**ALEX:**

**She broke up with me. I’m not**

**apologizing for moving on.**

Alex leaned over the side of the boat and dangled their phone out above the waves. It buzzed again. They flipped the phone up to read the message.

**Bronwyn:**

**She didn’t break up with you moron.**

**Sh--**

The phone slipped from between their fingers and dropped into the water with a distant  _ bloop _ ! Gestalt stared down at the waves emptily. They slouched around the yacht. Some man was playing with Eliza’s hair. Another woman had approached Teddy. Robert leaned on the bar and fiddled with a shot glass. Someone was speaking in his ear, but it may have been a hallucination.

_ She didn’t break up with you _ ?

But the wine cart came by then and they forgot all about Bronwyn's annoying texts.

* * *

Myfanwy was trying to pretend nothing was wrong. She’d been pretending for weeks. Ever since the park. She thought she’d gotten pretty good at it until Maggie had appeared in her office wielding a tabloid.

“Oh no, Myfanwy! You must be crushed!” She’d cried dramatically.

Myfanwy’d had no idea what she was talking about. Or why she’d bothered travelling up six floors to say it.

“Pardon?”

Maggie slapped the tabloid down on her desk with a great deal of flare pretending to be distressed by what it contained. It was good she’d gone into reception work because she was an abysmal actress.

“You must’ve known it wouldn’t last. None of the Gestalt siblings really ‘date’, as you know. But to do something like this so publicly. You must be in nine circles of hell.”

Myfanwy picked up the tabloid and stared down at it. The picture was grainy. A blown up photo taken on someone’s phone in a dark nightclub. Robert had some little thing on his lap. Their hand was in her hair and their tongue was down her throat. Myfanwy felt a give in her heart. Something snapping. She locked her jaw and handed the tabloid back to Maggie.

“I appreciate the concern, but I broke up with Gestalt weeks ago.” Myfanwy started back to work. Maggie didn’t move from in front of her desk. Myfanwy glanced up at her again. “If there’s nothing else?”

“I… well, sorry.” Maggie ducked back out the door quickly.

Myfanwy watched the door close and dropped her head onto her desk. She’d assumed once Gestalt got back from touring they’d have the chance to sit down and talk. Work through their relationship and figure out what they wanted. Apparently, Gestalt had no interest in reconciliation.

Her love for Gestalt hadn’t gone away. It hadn’t even eased in their time apart. She still felt as strongly for them as ever. To be without them was akin to being without oxygen. She could hardly breathe. And it was all her own making. She might have imagined every loving thing they’d ever done for her. Every instance of normal attraction, she’d misperceived as like minded thinking.

She didn’t just want them. She needed them. But they didn’t need her. They would never need her the same way. Love and lust. So close. So similar. And leagues apart.

She drifted through the rest of the week numbly. Tabloids kept springing out with Gestalt’s latest dalliance. Teddy on a boat somewhere sunny with a child on their lap. Child might have been harsh. She was likely of age. A young age, but not illegal. Teddy wasn’t really looking at her in the photo. It gave her a flitter of ignorant hope.

There was someone waiting for her at home. Her little crowd had dispersed after the new tabloids had started coming out. They’d mostly fucked off once Bronwyn had been set loose on them. Only the very stupid stuck around after that.

Myfanwy paused as she registered Conrad’s face in the dull light from the entryway. She swallowed and moved past him to unlock her door.

“You’re wondering what I’m doing here,” Conrad started.

Myfanwy frowned and shook her head. “You want to make sure I don’t spill the beans even though we aren’t together anymore.” She pulled her door open and stepped inside. “I won’t.”

Conrad grabbed the door before she could close it all the way. “No. I’m here to ask you to get back together with Gestalt.”

Myfanwy stared at the man for a minute. She shook her head. “Are you fucking kidding me? What do you think I am? Some whore you can just insist I go back to fucking Gestalt? You gonna offer me money next?”

Conrad didn’t blink. “Do you want monetary compensation?”

Myfanwy’s mouth dropped open. She yanked on the door handle. “Fuck you!”

Conrad pulled the door open and stepped inside forcing Myfanwy back into the lobby. Myfanwy scowled at him and clenched her fists. Conrad held his hands up palms out.

“There was a fight. I know. I heard about it from Monica. Every couple has their problems.”

Myfanwy scoffed and started for the stairs. “Yeah, well I’d say between the two--five-- of us, we have enough problems to merit an A-Level for completion.”

Conrad pressed on. “I warned about this. You remember?”

Myfanwy wheeled around and looked down at Conrad from where she stood two steps above him. “Gestalt is  _ fine _ . I’ve seen it. The tabloids, the press, the girls, the boys, I’ve seen all of it and I’ve seen enough. The last thing I need is for their manager to show up on my doorstep and say, ‘Ignore all that and fuck them again, for  _ my _ benefit.’ Fuck off.”

Myfanwy stomped up a few more steps.

“Gestalt is not okay!” Grantchester shouted.

Myfanwy wanted to ignore him. She wanted to be the type of person that could get her heart broken and forget all about the scum that did it. She wanted to move on like Gestalt had.

Instead, Myfanwy turned back to Grantchester and asked, “What do you mean by that?”

Conrad climbed up until there was only one stair separating them. “The binge drinking, the drugs, the partying, Gestalt hasn’t done that in years. They got cleaned up and swore the harder stuff off for good. They still drink, but it’s typically in moderation. They don’t party anymore because they hated it. It was never fun for them. They aren’t alright. They’re hurting and I can’t help them. Nothing I say seems to make anything any easier for them. They need  _ you _ .”

Myfanwy swallowed and looked down the stairs. “What do you expect me to do? Just ring them out of the blue and ask them to stop with the drugs and the girls?”

“Well, why can’t you?”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes and moved up the stairs. Persistent as ever, Conrad followed her right to her apartment door. “They’ll listen to you! I know they will.”

Myfanwy stopped at her door. “It’s not like I dumped them because they hated my favorite color, Conrad.” She paused as she considered her last conversation with Gestalt. “Honestly, I didn’t dump them at all. Just asked them to slow things down. They were the one that decided to break up full stop.”

Conrad’s eyes lit up gleefully. “Well, that’s it settled! We just have to explain that to them.”

Myfanwy slipped inside her apartment and shut the door in Conrad’s face. “I’m not explaining shit. Gestalt can do what they want now. It’s nothing to do with me.”

She dropped her coat and purse on her kitchen counter. She sat down at the kitchen table and pulled out her phone to stare at it. She still loved Gestalt. That hadn’t changed no matter how shitty they were acting. She wished it had. She wished everything had changed because Gestalt had gotten selfish. She wished her heart no longer ached at the thought of them with anyone else. She wished they weren’t the first thing she thought about upon waking and the last thing she thought about before going to sleep.

Her body suddenly felt exhausted. Her eyelids were heavier than they’d ever been. Her head dropped down onto the table. She heard something. The sound of footsteps. That should have snapped her awake, but she just grew heavier and sleepier.

* * *

She felt comfortable, but strange. She couldn’t place it and she couldn’t find it in herself to pry her eyes open. She was impossible cozy. Swathed in silk and cotton and plush. She smiled contentedly.

“Don’t go in there just yet!” Someone shouted. It was muffled. Myfanwy tried to place the voice. Familiar, but why?

“What did you do?” Myfanwy’s heart raced. She didn’t have to think to know that voice. She was surely still dreaming.

“I was concerned about you. You’ve not been yourself. Any of yourselves. I just wanted to help get you back to normal. Or, better.”

“Oh, god, Conrad. What did you do?” 

The door swung open, but Myfanwy still couldn’t fight her eyes open. She rolled instead and stretched. Her muscles ached. Her bones popped. Above all, she felt an odd sense of unrest despite having just woken up.

“You  _ kidnapped _ her?”

“I don’t like that term.”

“Would you prefer abducted?”

There was silence. Myfanwy yawned and sat up, finally managing to blink her eyes open. Her vision was blurry. Her throat was dry.

“Bron?” She mumbled.

Myfanwy squeezed her eyes shut and scrubbed her hands over them. The button on her sleeve caught her hair. Myfanwy whimpered as she yanked her head down and struggled to free herself. 

“Bronwyn, help me,” she whined deliriously.

A pair of hands appeared to help detangled her hair from around her sleeve button. Myfanwy sighed in relief as her head separated from her shirt sleeve. The grogginess wasn’t leaving her as quickly as it normally did. She felt odd.

A bottle of water was thrust before her. Myfanwy accepted it and downed the contents. Thirst sated, she leaned back into the fluffy pillows and closed her eyes. She needed a clear mind to deal with whatever was happening and she did not have a clear mind. The room was quiet a while.

“Myfanwy?” A voice said carefully.

Myfanwy opened her eyes and looked into Eliza Gestalt’s beautiful face. Picturesque. Perfect. Myfanwy smiled and cupped Gestalt’s soft cheek. “You feel so real.”

Gestalt swallowed and slowly covered her hand one their cheek with their own. “I am real.”

Myfanwy felt like crying. She pressed her lips together. “I wish that were true.”

“Myfanwy?” She turned automatically to find whoever had called her name. “I cannot apologize enough. I know what I did will not be easily forgiven, but I needed to get the five of you in the same room. You understand?”

Myfanwy dropped her hand away from Gestalt’s face and looked around with clearer eyes. A clearer head. Her stomach flipped. She wasn’t dreaming.

“Where am I?” Silence. “Where the hell am I?” She demanded, jumping out of the bed. She was completely awake now.

“Torre Vado.”

“Should I know where that is?”

“Southern coast of Italy.”

Myfanwy stared between them all. “You… I’m… Ugh!” 

She marched for the door, but an overwhelming feeling of vertigo struck her and suddenly she was sitting on the ground. Gestalt grabbed her arms to help her back to her feet. She shook them away and remained sitting.

“I’m just going to leave you alone to… talk,” Grantchester murmured.

“No, Conrad, you don’t get to-” The door slammed shut and they were alone.

Myfanwy stared out the open French doors. White curtains fluttered in the soft breeze. She could smell the salt of the sea on the wind. She’d never been to Italy before. Certainly never in such a fancy room in any country.

“Sorry,” Gestalt started in one voice.

“I don’t know what he was thinking.”

“I’ll get you on the first flight home.”

Myfanwy continued staring out the window. She’d done such a great job of pretending everything was alright. Pushing everything away so that no one else would worry. She had made up her mind to put them out of her head. It was a fun little story to tell in her old age. The time she dated a hivemind rockstar. She was on her way to moving on and here she was in their hotel room, surrounded by them.

“First flight to London leaves in an hour. We’ll have to put you on the next one. That’s at eleven today,” Gestalt went on quickly.

“Four hours leaves time for breakfast. Are you hungry? Conrad’s knockout gas usually makes people hungry.”

They were babbling. They only did that when they were nervous. Talking to fill the air.

“Breakfast?” Myfanwy looked around for a clock. “What time is it?”

Gestalt shrugged. “Just after seven.”

Myfanwy stood up and straightened her clothes. She was still wearing her work clothes from the day before only now they were wrinkled beyond belief. Her shoes had been removed, unless Conrad hadn’t bothered to take any with her. She let out a frustrated growl.

“Alright, no breakfast?”

“Train? You came in on the train last night. Do you want to take it back? It’ll be a longer trip.”

“But you don’t have to spend any more time here.”

Myfanwy felt tears hot in her eyes. She refused to let them fall. “Yeah, a train would probably be best. I’d hate to get between you and your new child bride.”

A beat of silence. “Excuse me?”

Myfanwy folded her arms across her chest and turned to face them. “The pictures are everywhere. I can’t go one bloody place in London without hearing of your latest escapades. Which model or actress is it today? Hm?”

Gestalt’s eyes narrowed at her. “You’re one to talk.  _ You _ broke up with  _ me _ . It wasn’t the other way around. You wanted to be done with it.”

“One modicum of care and you take off in the other direction.”

“You weren’t single because of your EVA.”

“You were single because you’re afraid of commitment.”

Myfanwy threw her hands down. A glass light bulb exploded in the next room. “Oh, for fuck's sake! I did not break up with you! I asked you to slow down. It is  _ not _ my fault you decided that meant drinking and whoring around.”

“I’ve not been whoring around.”

“You said ‘break.’” Gestalt argued defensively.

“Yeah! A  _ break _ not break up!”

“What the fuck’s the difference?” Gestalt bellowed all at once.

“The difference is I thought you’d come home and we’d have time to talk it all out! The difference is that  _ I _ haven’t spent the last three weeks drinking and whoring and carrying on.”

“Talk what out? You’ve made it pretty fucking clear you don’t want to talk about anything important. Not your cutting or your PTSD or whatever the fuck happened to you at the Checquy that started all this.”

“Well, maybe I would have! Maybe I just needed a little time to build up the fucking courage!” 

Gestalt sat around the room perfectly synchronized. “I don’t believe you,” they said in all four voices.

“I don’t believe you either.”

They glared at each other. Eight to two.

“When’s that fucking train?”

Eliza stood up. “I’ll drive you to the station.”

Myfanwy held up her hand. “I’d rather have Monica.”

Gestalt scoffed. “All this hate because I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“ _ You  _ hurt me!” Myfanwy shouted. “You hurt me worse than any little nick ever could. I loved you and you  _ broke my heart _ !”

“What?”

Myfanwy spun away and marched for the door. She’d find Monica herself or she’d walk to the train station. She couldn’t speak a lick of Italian, but she could figure it out. She opened the door, but Teddy’s wide hand slapped it shut again.

“What did you say?”

Myfanwy stared at the door. Almost too angry for words. “I said, you broke my heart. Now get out of my way.”

“Not that. What did you say before that?”

“It doesn’t matter. Get out of my way,” she repeated through clenched teeth.

“It matters.”

She pulled at the door, but Gestalt kept it firmly shut.

“Myfanwy, it matters.”

Myfanwy leaned her head against the door and sighed. “No. It doesn’t. It hasn’t mattered since that photograph of you kissing that girl was dropped on my desk.”

“I didn’t sleep with her.”

“I haven’t slept with anyone.”

Myfanwy felt her EVA tracing over her skin. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying to you.”

“I’ve never lied to you.”

“I love you.”

“Only you.”

Myfanwy snorted. “I don’t think you know the meaning.”

Gestalt kept the door shut, but she heard the light jingling of a belt. The sound of a zipper being undone. She turned to look. Alex had shucked his pants down to his ankles and was holding a small pocket knife.

“What-”

“Forty-three, right?”

Myfanwy’s mind went completely blank as they brought the knife to the inside of their thigh. “Hey! No!”

Eliza’s and Robert’s arms whipped out and held her back. They grunted softly as the blade slid across their flesh. Myfanwy’s eyes went wide. “Knock it off! Stop it!”

“Why’s it okay for you? Hm?”

“Forty-three is what you said. So forty-three for you means forty-three for me. And however many more since.”

“Stop it!”

“I do know what love is, Myfanwy.”

“So, I know that whenever you feel like cutting yourself, I’’d rather you cut me instead.”

“I have eight fresh legs. Hell, you can cut anywhere you want. Just not on yourself.”

“I won’t complain.”

“I won’t ask why.”

“If this is what you need to do, just do it to me instead.”

“Because what I need is for you to be safe and happy.”

Alex brought the knife back to their thigh. “STOP!”

“Forty-three?” Gestalt frowned at their leg. “I’ve only done one so far.”

Myfanwy sagged against their arms. “Stop it. This isn’t fair. You don’t understand.”

Gestalt frowned at her. “Either you cut me or I cut myself when you do. The only way this stops is when you do.”

“Because I  _ do _ love you.”

“And I can’t bear the thought of you hurting or being hurt while I’m left unscathed.”

“It’s not the same thing. You don’t understand.  _ It’s not the same thing _ .”

She sank to the floor and Gestalt went with her. The room was quiet. Gestalt didn’t cut themselves again, but they didn’t drop the knife either.

“You know those shock collars they put on dogs to train them?” Teddy asked behind her.

Myfanwy sniffled and nodded.

“They were more like handcuffs on me.”

“‘Training tools’ they called them.”

“To help me keep my bodies separated. Or at least pretend to.”

“I had to be careful about what I was saying if I used more than one body to talk. If I said the same thing with more than one body I’d get this jolt. It’s hotter than you’d imagine. The electricity. More than a sting. It’s like having your hand held over an open flame.”

“If one of my bodies used a behavior the handlers had given to another, I’d get another jolt.”

“So on and so forth. But only until I was about eleven. By then I’d learned to compartmentalize. To make the white coats happy.”

“If we’re honest, the shock bracelets were tame as far as their punishments went.”

“The isolation rooms were worse.”

“No windows or lights. The rooms were only as wide as the doors to get into them and half as long.”

“We didn’t even have to be bad to go in there.”

“Sometimes, they just wanted to test us.”

Gestalt chewed on their thumbs. “I’ve never been able to explain to other people what it’s like to be kept apart like that.”

“Not in any way that’s made sense.”

“It’s taken us years to unlearn the things they drilled into us.”

After a few minutes of silence, Myfanwy nodded and swallowed. She took a deep breath. “A-Andrew Bristol.” She shut her eyes and a tremor ran through her body.

“The psychiatrist?”

“He was  _ not _ a psychiatrist.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. “I just wanted to go home.” She covered her face and tried to push through the urge to run away and disappear forever. “They put me in quarantine because I was dangerous and uncontrollable. My EVA was sporadic. They couldn’t figure out the trigger.

“Someone thought it might’ve been pain. The first time it activated was when I’d fallen off the roof at my childhood home. Knocked both of my parents unconscious.” Myfanwy held up her hand. Small, white scars were almost invisible beside the natural wrinkles in her palm. “They had me cut myself to try and activate it. Bristol’s idea. Pissed me off so much I turned a knife on him. And when it didn’t work after that, they moved on to other methods. Other potential triggers. Like fear.”

Myfanwy shook her head slowly and rocked herself back and forth. Her body was numb. It always went numb when she remembered. Separating the memories from her body.

“He made me think he was my friend. That he wanted the best for me. He asked what I wanted every day and every day I would tell him I wanted to go home. Sometimes I begged.” She swallowed though her throat was dry. “One day….” She paused to wipe away a stray tear. “One day, he came into my room. It was late. I knew it was late because it was the night guards at my doors and the lights in the hallways were off. It was strange that he was there. It didn’t make sense.

“His breath stank. Some sort of alcohol. He leaned over me on my bed and put his lips to my ear. He promised to take me home if I did something for him. Of course, I agreed. It was all I wanted. I told him I’d do anything. And then he… he crawled on top… of… me.” Her words were stilted and punctuated by heaves of air. “I tried to fight him off, but he was so much heavier than I was. I was so confused and he kept saying that I had to be good if I wanted him to take me home. ‘ _ Kiss me back if you want me to take you home _ .’” Myfanwy sucked in a shuddering breath. “‘ _ O-open your legs if you want me to take you home _ .’ And I was so stupid. After a while, I just lay there.” Myfanwy pressed her forehead into her knees and covered the back of her head with her hands. “And it  _ hurt _ . It hurt most times. And he would always  _ promise  _ he was going to take me home.”

“Myfanwy….”

“I was so  _ stupid _ .” Her fingers fisted in her hair and pulled, hard. “I had finally had enough. Like a part of me that had gone to sleep woke back up. Bristol crawled off of me and left for the night and I lay there growing angrier and angrier. It was like I exploded. I felt it inside of me for so long and I had pushed it down and pushed it down and then it went out like a bomb had gone off and the room shook.

“I don’t know what happened after that. I really don’t. I don’t know how I got out. How I knew to get out. I only remember waking up in my own bed two weeks later.”

Gestalt crushed her to their chest. “Myfanwy, I’m sorry.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I want to think I would’ve done something if I’d known.”

“I want to kill that son of a bitch all over again for what he did.”

Myfanwy stared blankly ahead. She knew she should push them away again. They’d hurt her. They’d been with who knows how many other people in the three weeks since the park. They’d moved on. But,  _ god _ , did it feel good to have their arms around her.

Gestalt brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her temple. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I love you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Myfanwy turned in their arms and buried her face into their neck. She didn’t want to be broken up with Gestalt. She didn’t ever want them to stop saying they loved her. She didn’t want to hate them anymore. She only wanted to love them and be loved by them in return.

She tucked her hands into their hair and pressed her lips against theirs. Softly at first. Two people just learning each other again. Both afraid to move too fast. Myfanwy shifted so that she was straddling Gestalt’s lap. Their hands rubbed soothing circles over her back. Myfanwy tilted her head to slant her mouth over theirs to deepen their kiss.

“I love you,” she whispered as she pulled back.

“I love you,” echoed around her.

Myfanwy smiled and went back to kissing them. “Put the fucking knife away.”

Gestalt smiled. She heard it clatter across the floor behind her. 

“Mm.” She pulled back again to look them in the eyes. “I should tell you, Conrad is a dead man. I hope that isn’t a deal breaker for you.”

Gestalt smiled tenderly at her. Another set of lips kissed the back of her neck. “Don’t suppose I could talk you out of it. He is the closest to family I have.”

Myfanwy nodded. “Oh,  _ me _ you could talk out of it no problem. But Bronwyn has been staying in my apartment and she  _ definitely _ knows he abducted me by now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend of mine read part of this chapter with no context and made me cry. Hope you enjoyed.


	21. No Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt fills Myfanwy in on some well kept secrets. Bronwyn gets a bit mooody.

“What’s this feel like to you?” Myfanwy asked, pulling her face back from between Eliza’s legs.

“Fucking amazing,” Eliza replied, stroking her fingers through Myfanwy’s hair.

Myfanwy grinned and shook her head. “No. I meant to your other bodies. Does it feel the same?”

Gestalt leaned their head back on the pillows and stared at the ceiling. Their fingers pulled through her hair softly. Lovingly.

“It’s different with you. Anybody else touching me like this is just….” Gestalt sighed and sat up. Myfanwy leaned back with a frown.

“Okay, shut your eyes.”

Myfanwy complied. Gestalt’s hand slid down her leg. “You feel that?”

“Mm.”

Another hand slid up her spine. “And this?”

“Yes.”

“You feel it on top of your head?”

Myfanwy wrinkled her brow. She kept her eyes shut. “No?”

“Right. You feel it where I’m touching. It’s just the same for me.”

“_ Usually _.”

“Usually?” Myfanwy repeated.

Gestalt cupped her face in their hands. She opened her eyes and looked straight into Eliza’s blue eyes.

“It’s different when you touch me. Almost like I’ve only got one body instead of four.” Eliza looked down and ran a finger around the perimeter of Myfanwy’s nipple.

“Feels fucking amazing, though. Every touch amplified by four.”

“Which is to say nothing of how good it feels when you make me come the way you do,” Teddy’s voice rumbled in her ear.

Myfanwy tilted her head to the side expectantly. Gestalt kissed her neck obediently. Myfanwy found Alex’s waiting mouth. Eliza sealed her mouth around Myfanwy’s nipple and pinched the other while she sucked. 

“What about when you get turned on?” She asked, breaking away. Gestalt groaned around her.

“I’m turned on _ now _.”

“I’d like to remedy that as soon as possible.” Alex pulled at her knees.

“Do you all get turned on at once?” Myfanwy pressed.

Teddy sighed and rested his forehead against her shoulder. “Yeah, sometimes. Just depends, you know?”

Myfanwy shook her head. “Not really.” Eliza and Alex moved back against the headboard. Eliza crossed their arms over their chest. Alex’s hands fisted in the sheets. Robert was leaned against the footboard watching. “Okay, like, you said no one’s ever made you come all at the same time before me. How does that work?”

Teddy shifted so that he had a leg on either side of her and was leaned back against the footboard. Myfanwy was tucked into their chest. “Just the same as when you touch me, I suppose. Only the bodies being stimulated come.”

Myfanwy frowned. “So if you were fucking four different people all at the same time, couldn’t you come all together?’

“In theory.”

“But it’s never happened before.”

“What about back when you were out and it was just Eliza and me. Were you turned on then? Or was it just Eliza?”

“I’m always turned on when I’m with you.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. I made Eliza come. Was that just Eliza?”

“No….” Gestalt frowned at the memory.

“What?”

Gestalt shook their heads. “I’m thinking about the times when you only made one of me come and wondering why it isn’t a constant.”

“I thought it was something to do with my compartmentalization, but now that you bring that up I’m not so sure.”

Myfanwy toyed with Teddy’s fingers. “I think that’s me.”

Gestalt laughed. Teddy kissed the side of her head. “Of course it’s you. I’m just trying to figure out the pattern outside of you.”

Myfanwy shook her head. “No, I think it’s my EVA doing it.”

Alex squinted at her. “What do you mean?”

Myfanwy lifted their hands together. “I noticed something a while back.” She felt her EVA coming to the surface. She let it come. She knew what she wanted and, bizarrely, she wasn’t afraid. She felt it move through her and out into Teddy’s hands. “Do you feel that?”

Gestalt frowned. The line appeared between all four of their brows the way it did when they were concentrating. “I just feel you.”

Myfanwy bit the inside of her lip. She took a slow breath and increased her EVA. She thought exactly what she wanted to happen. All at once, Gestalt gasped around her. Teddy shouted and bucked his hips against her. Myfanwy’s heart sank and she dropped her EVA immediately.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” She wrestled her hand from Teddy’s frantically.

Robert lunged forward and pinned her to the mattress. Myfanwy squirmed and struggled beneath their weight. They cupped her face and pressed their lips against hers. It took her an extra second or two to stop fighting them and realize they weren’t hurt or angry.

“What the fuck was that?” Alex gasped.

Eliza pet her hair back from her face. “What did you do?”

Their voices were full of wonder and adoration. Robert pulled back so she could answer.

“It’s… I’m not sure. I just thought that I wanted to make you come and you did.”

Teddy leaned forward and took her hand back in theirs. “You’re fucking incredible.”

Myfanwy beamed at them.

“But it’s your turn now.”

Myfanwy didn’t have time to ask anything else. She was assailed on all sides by Gestalt’s hands and lips. She had a few more questions, but it all felt so good she figured they could wait.

* * *

“I need to go back to London.” Myfanwy’s rested her chin on Alex’s chest and toyed with Robert’s hair.

Eliza leaned over her and kissed her shoulder. “Can’t you just tell them you’re taking time off or something?”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “Absolutely not how the business world works. I have to put in a request for time off at least three weeks in advance.”

“Barbaric,” they muttered.

Myfanwy snickered and kissed Eliza’s nose. “You’re at least coming home with me, hm? Or were you planning on going back out on Jared Leto’s yacht. I thought you hated him, by the way? You called him a ‘skeezy, cult leader wannabe’ and were very animated about it. I remember. I can’t listen to _ A Beautiful Lie _ without hearing your speech.”

Gestalt narrowed their eyes at her. “When the fuck was I on that dickhead’s yacht?”

Myfanwy let out a short laugh. “_ Jesus _! What were you on?” She sat up and made to reach for her phone before she remembered she didn’t have her phone with her. “Let me see your phone.”

Eliza handed her theirs without argument. Myfanwy opened the web browser and pulled up the tabloid article she’d seen four days earlier. She held it out for them to look at. They were sat beneath the sails proudly displaying Thirty Seconds to Mars’ emblem. Jared Leto was in the background wearing a captain’s hat sans shirt. Teddy was front and center with the ridiculously young woman on their lap.

Gestalt let out a groan. “Fuck me!”

Myfanwy giggled and dropped the phone on the mattress before scooting to the edge of the bed and standing up. “Maybe once we’re back home, hm?”

Myfanwy shook out her trousers out and frowned at the wrinkles in them. She sighed heavily and slid them on anyway. Gestalt went into a closet off the bedroom to dress themselves. Alex came back out after a second and grabbed her hands pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

“C’mere.”

Myfanwy let them lead her into the closet with them. It was set up very similarly to how their penthouse in London was. The outfits were a bit different. There was lighter material than the typical leather and even pastels Myfanwy never thought to see on Gestalt. They kissed her neck.

“Take what you like. You don’t have to wear yesterday’s outfit just because Conrad kidnapped you.”

Myfanwy ran her hands over the clothes in Eliza’s section. “This is a lot of clothing to pack for a trip. How long were you planning on staying?”

Gestalt was busy pulling on their own clothes. “I’m not planning on packing any of it. It’s my house, anyway.”

Myfanwy stilled and turned to look at them. “You have _ two _houses?”

Gestalt went on dressing as if there was nothing strange about owning two houses. “I own four houses and two penthouses.”

Myfanwy stared slack jawed as she tried to work through the realization that they were actually rich. Rich, rich. Six homes rich. A house in Torre Vado, Italy rich. A penthouse in downtown London rich.

“Why do you have so many houses?”

Gestalt straightened and checked their outfits. Alex shrugged. “Just easier, I suppose. I don’t exactly live like other people. The fewer people that know a secret, the easier it is to keep.”

Myfanwy couldn’t argue with that. She pulled down a floral maxi dress and held it up to herself. She slipped her wrinkled slacks back off and pulled the dress on. Gestalt pulled her hair away and kissed her neck. Two hands settled on her waist.

“Where are your other places?” They needed to get on a plane and she was dangerously close to taking her newly acquired dress right back off.

“My other penthouse is in New York.”

“I’m there at least once a year so it made sense to just buy a place.”

“What’s it like?” Myfanwy covered their hands with hers and led them back out of the closet.

Gestalt shrugged. “Normal? It’s two bedrooms and two baths.”

“I can take you to see it sometime.”

Myfanwy smiled and kept walking, leading them towards the front door. “I’d rather see your London penthouse right now.”

Gestalt stopped and pulled her back towards the bedroom. “It’ll take a few minutes to make the arrangements, hm?” Teddy murmured in her ear.

“Can’t you afford to miss one more day?” Eliza pulled at the strap of the maxi dress. They pressed a kiss to her skin where it had been.

“No.” Myfanwy grabbed Eliza’s face between her fingers. “I’m going to work _ on time _ on Monday.” She pulled their face forward and pulled her lip between her teeth. Eliza’s hands wrapped around the back of Myfanwy’s neck, holding her in the kiss. Myfanwy broke away after a minute and sucked in a breath of air. “I will, however, fuck you once more before we go.”

Gestalt chuckled. “How generous.”

“Shit.”

Myfanwy turned her head to look at Teddy. Their head was bowed to their phone, their thumbnail in their mouth.

“What’s wrong?”

Gestalt pulled her toward the bed smiling. “It’s nothing. Everything’s fine. Promise.”

Myfanwy scowled. “What was that about you never lying to me?”

Gestalt winced. Alex sat on the bench at the foot of the bed and pulled Myfanwy onto their lap. “Bronwyn’s here.”

Myfanwy’s eyebrows shot up. “My sister?”

“Well, you did warn she’d be out for blood once you disappeared.”

“I did.” Myfanwy started out the french windows thoughtfully. “How do you know she’s here?”

“She’s been texting me. Apparently she tracked me down and is on her way here.”

Myfanwy’s brow furrowed. “Bronwyn’s texting you? When did she get your number?”

Gestalt looked away guiltily. Myfanwy reluctant to jump to any conclusions, but they were making it hard.

“Marcus picked her up in Vienna and had her stay with us for the rest of the trip.”

“Down the hall, obviously.”

“Sometimes not even on the same floor.”

“But… she did talk to me.”

Myfanwy’s stomach dropped. Something clicked in her head. She shoved her way out of Gestalt’s lap and went to stand by the French doors. “The poster… oh my god. Oh my god! What did she tell you?”

Gestalt got to their feet. Six hands were held out to her palms up in surrender. Teddy was still on the phone. “Nothing bad. I swear.”

“_ Nothing _ bad? She told you I masterbated to your poster!” Myfanwy blushed fiercely and covered her face with both hands.

Gestalt took a step toward her. “Hey, I meant it when I said I thought it was flattering.”

“Don’t.” Myfanwy held one hand out to stop them. “Do not come near me right now.” As if to give weight to her warning, the glass panels on the French doors cracked. “Just tell me everything she told you.”

“Okay, um….”

“She mentioned you were really popular in school before everything with the Checquy.”

“You used to be in the Equestrian club at your school, but that after everything with your EVA you were too afraid of hurting the horses to get back in the saddle.”

“Gestalt laughed softly to themself. “She said you listened to _ The Hive _ so much she learned all the words to the songs even though she hated me herself.”

Teddy’s voice joined the conversation then. “She told us about a time before you came to the Checquy when some kids were bullying her in primary school and you came with all your friends to pick her up one day to get crepes or something. Said she was suddenly the coolest kid in her year because you were her big sister.”

“Mostly she talked about why she was always going a step too far and getting herself arrested or detained or otherwise hurt working for Marcus.”

Myfanwy blinked and pressed her fingers between her eyes. “Wait… Marcus does that whole EVA smuggling thing. The… EVA protection, right?” Gestalt nodded. “Bronwyn works for him?”

Gestalt grimaced. “We weren’t meant to tell you that.”

“Oh no? I wonder why.” Myfanwy snapped. Myfanwy crossed her arms over her chest and stared out across the city. “I _ told _ her to stay away from the EVA business. To leave it alone.”

“Well, you know why she doesn’t.”

“Spite,” Myfanwy muttered.

“I guess your parents were in a bad way when you were taken to the Checquy. Both of them. And Bronwyn was left to mourn you and take care of herself all at once. That might’ve been fine. She could’ve grown up and moved on, but then you came back.”

“I guess you were in a bad way. She didn’t go into details, but after what you told me I can only imagine.”

“Your parents were ‘down a rabbit hole’ as she put it.”

“She was the one that sat with you and took care of you after you came back.”

“She decided she didn’t want anyone else to suffer like you had.”

“She wanted to save people from your fate.”

“She’s doing it all out of love for you.”

“That counts for something.”

“Doesn’t it?”

Myfanwy turned back to them. She had no idea how to explain that it didn’t change anything. She tried to calm herself down. She could feel her anger flowing over her like a separate energy.

“And if she dies in the process?” She demanded. “If something goes horribly wrong and she ends up on the wrong end of a bullet? Or worse; an EVA like me. What then? Am I meant to cheer when I’m left all alone and know that it’ll be _ my _ fault?”

Gestalt shook their heads. “How could it be your fault?”

“How could it not be?”

Gestalt reached out for her again. Myfanwy pulled back. They sighed. “The only reason you would ever be alone is if you chose to be. You’ve got people that care about you Myfanwy. People that love you. Ingrid, Bronwyn, me, you’ve even grown on Conrad and Monica. And all of those people know about your EVA. They know you burned down the Checquy and they love you. The only person still blaming yourself for that is you.”

“Yeah. Because the only person with a body count in the forties is me.”

The door slammed open and locked shut. Teddy wandered to the bedroom door and looked out. Myfanwy waited by the window. Monica came into the bedroom looking panicked. Her eyes landed on Myfanwy.

“Your sister is a fucking _ monster _.”

“Excuse me?”

“She filled the whole fucking street with _ cows _ . Cows! Every-fucking-where! I don’t even know where she got the fucking cows. Just suddenly cows! And there she is! Sitting on the back of one of the fuckers looking like the mouse that got the cheese. And _ Marcus _ ! Ooh. That man is _ in for it _.” Monica fumed.

Myfanwy cleared her throat. “Bronwyn’s outside?”

“And she’s staying there. With her fucking cows.” Monica confirmed.

Myfanwy paused. “But.. we have to get to the airport.”

“Good fucking luck! You can’t walk let alone drive a car anywhere.” Monica pulled her phone up, dialed a number, and pressed it to her ear. “Your sister’s a fucking psycho.”

Myfanwy scowled and bit down her retort. 

“Hey, honey!” Monica said into the phone cheerily. “How’s your day going?” Monica paused to listen to whatever Marcus said on the other end of the call. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine, I’m fine. Listen, I might not be back tonight. Why?” Monica glared at Myfanwy. “Because _ somebody _ told a psychopath where my client was staying and that same psychopath found a bunch of fucking cows and put them in the street in front of the house and now _ I can’t fucking go anywhere _!”

Myfanwy started for the front door. She didn’t have shoes. What she did have were a pair of borrowed sandals that were two sizes too small for her feet. She slid them on anyway as Monica continued screaming at Marcus through the phone.

She’d barely stepped through the door when she heard Bronwyn shouting her name. Monica hadn’t been overreacting. There had to be about a hundred cows up and down the street in front of Gestalt’s house. Horns were honking at the cross streets. Bronwyn threw her arms around her neck and sighed in relief.

“Oh, thank god.”

Myfanwy hugged her back, eyeing the large animals barely a foot in front of her. “I’m fine. Everything’s okay.”

Bronwyn pulled back. “What exactly happened? I know you didn’t just take off for Italy on a whim. You didn’t take a bag. You didn’t even take your phone.”

“Conrad came to get me. He wanted me to make up with Gestalt.”

Bronwyn let out a short laugh. “Fat chance of that. They blew it when they were making out with that woman on the tabloid, yeah?”

Myfanwy chewed at the inside of her lip. “We actually managed to talk through a few things.”

Bronwyn froze. Her face went blank. Myfanwy took a deep breath and decided she would rather not get into it with Bronwyn at the moment. Especially given how pissed off she was at her at the moment.

“What’s with the cows?”

Bronwyn shrugged. “I didn’t know for certain if you were with asshole to the power of four or not. I just thought I’d inconvenience them for a few hours.”

Myfanwy nodded. “Where did you find them?”

“Met a girl, she was bored and this sounded fun to her.”

Myfawny fought down a grin. It was exactly the kind of thing that would have made Myfanwy laugh to tears if she weren’t trying to get to the airport and back home.

“That’s great, Bron, but how the fuck am I supposed to get home now?”

Bronwyn turned around and frowned at her handiwork. Gestalt emerged from the house one at a time. They all took in the flood of cows in front of their house and sighed.

A woman came riding through on a brown and white horse. She smiled at Bronwyn proudly before her eyes went up to Gestalt. Her face fell in shock. Bronwyn groaned.

“Per favore, non dire che sei un fan,” Bron said in perfect Italian.

“You speak Italian?” Myfanwy gaped.

Bronwyn shrugged. “You have your talents.”

“Gestalt,” the woman on horseback uttered.

Eliza smiled and waved at her. “Salve.”

“Fotografia!” She scrambled off her horse and hurried forward pulling her phone from her pocket. She smiled at Eliza. “Per favore? Per favore, posso avere un foto?”

“Queste sono le tue mucche?” Alex asked, hands in their pockets.

The woman nodded and answered in Italian. Myfanwy could only stand idly by completely out of the loop. Bronwyn looked dour. Angry even.

Alex smiled then, wide and easy. Myfanwy thought the woman might swoon. She turned and handed her phone to Bronwyn with hurried instructions. Bronwyn scowled and held up the camera phone. Gestalt posed around the woman each with distinct smiles on their faces of varying enthusiasm.

The woman spoke rapidly in Italian again. Myfanwy could pick out the words for thank you and I'm sorry. She started to turn away back to her horse when she spun around again and wrapped her arms around Eliza and kissed her.

“Hey!” Myfanwy shouted.

The woman pulled back and looked Myfanwy up and down. She frowned at her then over at Bronwyn. Robert moved over to her and tucked her into his arms. He kissed her cheek.

“It's okay. She's going to move her cows.”

“Not if I kill her first,” Myfanwy grumbled.

Gestalt kissed her again. She could see them smiling. “So jealous over a little peck. Fans get overzealous sometimes, nothing to worry about.”

Myfanwy watched the woman swing herself back up into her saddle and urge her horse forward through the cows whistling. She took several deep breaths before she didn't want to kill her anymore.

“We're going home and the only lips that are going to touch yours are going to be mine.”

Robert kissed the corner of her mouth until she turned her head and they could kiss her for real. Bronwyn cleared her throat after a minute.

“I see you dipshits have managed to worm your way back into my sister's good graces.”

“Nice to see you too, Bron.”

Monica stomped back out of the house. She looked at the slow moving cattle and huffed. “You're insane. You do know that, right?”

Bronwyn shrugged. “Been called worse.”

“Conrad's two streets up with the car. There's no way we're all fitting in so some bodies are going to have to follow in a cab.”

“I'll take a cab,” Bronwyn offered.

Monica glared at her. “_You're _not invited.”

Bronwyn pouted. “All this over a couple cows?”

“A _ couple_?”

“Hey, I don't really care who goes in what car or who’s invited and who's not. I have work in twenty-eight hours and I'm not missing my flight.” Myfanwy laced her fingers through Robert's and grabbed Alex's hand with the other. They made their way carefully through the cattle and across the street. Gestalt kept picking up her hands and kissing the backs of them whispering ‘I love you’ over and over.

She forgave them before they'd even reached the car, but she figured she'd wait to tell them into they got back to London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the Italian was Google Translated. Sorry if you speak Italian and it's wrong :/


	22. Darkest Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt and Myfanwy spend time with their friends together.

It took some getting used to. Myfanwy hadn’t ever had anyone know the deepest parts of her before. The parts she was ashamed of. Ingrid and Bronwyn knew, of course, but not like Gestalt did. She never went into detail about how isolated she was from everyone else in the facility. Never spoke about the dread she felt when she was under certain lighting because it reminded her of her room in the Checquy.

And Gestalt knew it all.

“Just give me the remote.” 

“Over my dead body.”

“We aren’t watched the Real Housewives of wherever.” Robert insisted.

“That’s good, then, isn’t it? Because this is  _ Love Island.  _ Which you would know if you had any class at all.” Ingrid argued indignantly.

“Oh, reality trash is  classy now, is it?”

Ingrid stuck her tongue out at them. Myfanwy snorted and buried her face deeper into Teddy’s neck. It was a Friday night and Ingrid had already counted on hanging out with Myfanwy before she found out about the reconciliation. Gestalt had hemmed and hawed for a while before agreeing to a night at her place spending quality time with her.

“Stop bullying my friend,” Myfanwy told Teddy in barely more than a whisper.

Robert stopped mid-argument and turned to look at her. “Me? She’s the bully.”

Myfanwy huffed out a great sigh and shifted back on the couch. Teddy’s fingers tightened slightly on her waist. 

“How am I the bully? You’re calling me stupid and pedantic!” Ingrid fired  back.  Robert’s head turned back to Ingrid.

“I called your little television show stupid and pedantic, but if you thought I was talking about you... well.” 

Ingrid looked positively murderous. Myfanwy reached up and pulled Teddy’s face down so she could whisper in their ear. “Apologize to Ingrid and let her watch her show and I’ll do that thing you like so much later.”

“Sorry, Ingrid.” Gestalt said in four voices around the apartment instantaneously. 

Myfanwy tamped down a grin and avoided Ingrid’s suspicious stare. Eventually, the six of them settled into Myfanwy’s small living room to watch some romance reality show. Myfanwy was barely paying attention, thinking about the half-finished expense report she had left that evening. Alex handed her and Teddy plates with pizza on them and Eliza handed her a glass of wine and Teddy a beer before sitting down.

“Hold on, isn’t that the woman that said she was over the moon for the other bloke?”

“Todd, wasn’t it?”

Ingrid nodded, not taking her eyes from the screen.

“Well, what the fuck’s she  doin ’ with that prick?” 

“Making another mistake,” Ingrid declared.

Myfanwy looked up at the screen just in time to see the aforementioned women disappearing behind a bedroom door with someone who was evidently not Todd. The show went to the credits. Gestalt let out four heavy groans of irritation.

“They ended it on that?”

Ingrid yawned and stretched her arms over her head. “They always leave it on a cliffhanger.”

“So, what? We have to wait until tomorrow night to find out the next bit?”

Ingrid turned her chair to face them. “Next Friday. Have you never watched a weekly program before?”

Gestalt was in various stages of ire. “Bit busy all the time. I like the streaming services. Watch anytime type shows.”

Ingrid set the remote on Myfanwy’s coffee table with a thoughtful frown. “That somehow explains so much about you.”

“Should I be insulted by that?” Teddy whispered in Myfanwy’s ear. She shook her head and patted the back of their hand.

“When is Bron supposed to be back?” Ingrid picked her coat up off a barstool and slipped her arms into the sleeves.

Myfanwy stretched and stood from the couch. “Just because she’s set up office in my flat doesn’t mean she tells me any more than usual.”

Ingrid spun around in her chair to smile at her. “We’re having a girls’ night when she comes back.”

“What does a girls’ night entail?” Eliza asked.

Ingrid stared at them for a moment. Myfanwy worried she was going to say something to exclude Gestalt. Even if they did have a female body, Ingrid had meant she wanted a night where it was just them without significant others.

“Don’t watch movies, either?” Ingrid teased instead.

Gestalt shrugged. “Monica insists those scenes aren’t accurate, but she isn’t exactly an expert herself.”

Ingrid was pensive a while longer, staring at Eliza intently. “I’ll bet you get into the most exclusive clubs in London.”

Gestalt glanced at Myfanwy. She knew they were thinking about that tabloid photo.

“I do like seeing how the other half live. Not that Bron’s clubs aren’t... unique experiences.”

Myfanwy picked up her glass of wine and the stack of plates from the coffee table to take into the kitchen. “I think the word you’re looking for is illicit. Like that underground fighting ring.”

Ingrid laughed. “No! The one with the ‘Donkey Show’ but it was just some guy in a Donkey Kong costume trying to DJ.”

Myfanwy started laughing at the memory. “Oh, you remember when that drunken sot climbed up onto the stage and knocked his head off?”

Ingrid was near tears as she nodded. “And he looked like a bald Jimmy Carr?”

Myfanwy leaned on the counter. “And the police had to come because he and the sot got into a fistfight and the police had to figure out how to get his arms out of the monkey suit so they could cuff him!”

“This was a club in London?” Alex asked, hands in their pockets.

Ingrid shrugged. “Used to be. Pretty sure it was shut down after that.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes at Ingrid. “Yeah, but you know Jason. He’s probably got a new place somewhere with some stupid  gimmick .”

Ingrid tipped her head. “If there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s drawing a crowd.”

“Who’s Jason?” Teddy asked.

“Friend of Bron’s.”

“Pretty sure they had a thing,” Ingrid said.

Myfanwy’s brows shot up. “No!”

Ingrid nodded. “You weren’t there last time so you didn’t see how all over each other they were.”

Myfanwy moved back around the counter to the living room. “When wasn’t I there?”

Ingrid jerked her head back at Gestalt. “You ditched us for them, remember?”

Myfanwy looked up at Gestalt and remembered their first date. First official date, anyway. She smiled. “ It was worth it.”

Ingrid rolled her eyes. “On that note, I’m heading home for the night. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Night, Ing.”

“Night,  Myf . Night, Gestalt.”

Robert slid their hands around her waist and pulled them back against their chest. “I believe we made a deal earlier.”

Myfanwy leaned her head back and brushed her lips against their bristly jaw. Her hands covered theirs on her waist. “You know, my bed is maybe half the size of yours.”

“Don’t care.” They pushed her hair out of the way and pulled down the zipper on the back of her dress. She stepped out of the dress and walked down the hallway to her bedroom in her underwear. She didn’t bother looking behind her, she knew Gestalt wasn’t far behind.

Alex caught her up in her doorway and scooped her into their arms. Myfanwy turned and kissed them happily. They settled her onto her bed and kissed her neck, sucking hard on her collarbone. Myfanwy wrestled with their clothing. Alex was wearing a red t-shirt and black jeans, but the belt was not as obedient as she would have liked.

“Stop fucking wearing these damn-” she paused to kiss them. “Stupid belts.”

Gestalt laughed in her ear just as she succeeded in unbuckling their belt. They retrieved a condom from her nightstand and nuzzled the spot behind her ear.

“Roll over.”

Myfanwy narrowed her eyes at them. “You know the whole anal thing is still not a go.”

Gestalt laughed again. “Wasn’t really thinking that at the moment, but good to know.”

Eliza sat at the headboard. She slid down beside Myfanwy and rolled her over so that Myfanwy was on top of her. Eliza kissed her softly as Alex worked his fingers in and out of her cunt. She was already dripping for them. Myfanwy adjusted herself so that she was more comfortable on top of Eliza and her legs were spread a bit wider for them.

Myfanwy hummed in delight as they filled her. Eliza brushed the hair back from her face and pulled back to smile at her. “I love the sounds you make when I’m inside you.”

Myfanwy dropped her head to Eliza’s chest and bit her breast through her shirt playfully. “I love having you inside me.”

Alex picked up a faster rhythm behind her. Myfanwy leaned up and pressed her forehead against Eliza’s firmly. Her eyes fluttered shut as the feeling of blind ecstasy spread through her. In her belly, in her lungs, in every beat of her heart. She let out a high-pitched whine as she came, remembering at the last minute that she was meant to take them with her. She grabbed Gestalt’s hands in both of hers and squeezed tight.

Alex came behind her, but she didn’t feel Eliza come with her. She took a few slow breaths and kissed Eliza’s neck, jaw, and cheek. Alex pulled out of her and sat back against the wall on the floor. Myfanwy rolled to lay beside Eliza instead of on top of her.

“Sorry.”

Eliza smiled and shook her head. “What could you possibly have to apologize for?”

Myfanwy twined their fingers together. “We made a deal. I didn’t... couldn’t hold up my end.”

Eliza brought their joined hands to her lips and kissed the back of Myfanwy’s hand. “The deal was for me to apologize to Ingrid and you’d do what I liked later on. Well, it’s later on and  _ this _ is that thing I like.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes.  ”We both know what I meant.”

“Myfanwy, you have never and will never disappoint me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do,” they retorted in all four voices for emphasis.

She shifted again to look at the other three bodies. “Besides, I have more stamina to get you off when it’s just one of my bodies  cumming at a time.”

Myfanwy giggled as Robert crawled up her body from her feet kissing from her ankles all the way up. “Oh, yes. I remember your stamina fondly.”

Robert pressed their forehead against hers and shook their head. “I think you need another demonstration.”

* * *

Myfanwy would never get used to the intrusive onlookers that amassed whenever she went out with Gestalt anywhere. The secluded booth at the restaurant on their first date made a lot more sense the longer she spent with them. Lunch at her usual diner caused a traffic jam for all the people vying for a photo op or a chance to meet their idols.

“Have you been to New York before?” Gestalt asked her, masterfully ignoring the crowd of people around them.

Myfanwy kept her head low. “Never been out of Western Europe.”

“Do you want to go?”

Myfanwy glanced up from her salad. “When?”

Teddy shrugged. “When you can take the time off.”

Myfanwy stabbed at a piece of chicken. She had always wanted to see the United States. New York City, yes, but she also wanted to see the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone park. Hollywood and the Walk of Fame was also on her list. She wondered if Gestalt’s plans went further than their penthouse.

“Can we go other places?”

“You don’t want to go to New York?” Gestalt frowned at their plates.

“I do. I just... I want to see D.C., too. And loads of other places. Can we go around or do we have to stay in New York?”

Robert pulled her into their side and kissed her temple. “We can go wherever the hell you want.” They were only outwardly affectionate with Robert’s body when they were in public. Just one more way they worked to keep their secret out of public knowledge. One more thing Myfanwy had a hard time getting used to.

“We’re supposed to go out with Bron and Ingrid tonight. And Bronwyn invited Monica so it should be... wonderful.” 

“She doesn’t hate you,” they whined.

Myfanwy shrugged. “You’ll never convince me.”

They started the evening at one of Gestalt’s exclusive clubs. They were waved inside on sight. The place oozed money. It was packed with nothing but rich and famous people. Many of whom did their drugs in full view of everyone with no concern for the law. It wasn’t until they found out that their usual drinks cost  _ six times _ more than they did at the usual establishments that they decided to leave.

Bronwyn dragged the eight of them across town to what appeared on the outside to be an abandoned warehouse, but inside was filled with a hundred people drinking and singing and carrying on. Gestalt was worried about being recognized and ambushed, but those that did recognize them were too drunk to really care.

“Hey!” A guy shouted at Eliza. “Only me in my mind, am I right?” He grinned at them and held up his beer.

Monica fit in seamlessly with Bronwyn and Ingrid and the rest of the crowd. She was the fourth wheel they didn’t know they needed. Myfanwy was tired before long. She always was. Being around that many rowdy people always made her nervous. 

“I’m  gonna head home,” she shouted into Bronwyn’s ear.

Her sister looked past her to Gestalt. “Yeah, alright. Just be careful.”

Myfanwy kissed her sister’s cheek and then Ingrid’s before taking Robert’s hand and leading them out of the warehouse and back towards her flat. She didn’t have comfy clothes to change into at Gestalt’s and that was all she wanted after a night on her feet and drinking.

Myfanwy leaned into Robert’s arm as they walked around the block to the door to her building. Someone was standing out front when they rounded the corner. It was almost three in the morning. Most of the fans left around midnight. It was strange to see them  there so late.

Myfanwy dug for her keys in her clutch, ignoring the man. Something she could do confidently with four Gestalt bodies around to protect her. She yawned and started for her door.

“Myfanwy,” the man said.

Her blood went cold. She stared at the key in her hand, poised just in front of the lock. She couldn’t look, but she didn’t want to leave her back to him. Her legs had left her body entirely. 

“Who are you?” She heard Gestalt ask.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to see you?” He asked, ignoring Gestalt’s question. “I saw your picture in a tabloid the other day. Didn’t seem real.” He moved toward her. She could feel it. “I just needed to see you to be sure.”

Eliza took the key from her hand and fit it into the lock. Alex pulled the door open for her, but she still couldn’t move. She didn’t have legs. She didn’t have a body. She was just there.

“I don’t know who you are, but she obviously has no interest in talking to you,” Teddy said.

“You were never this shy before.”

“Leave. Now. Before I have to call the police.”

Robert’s arms were around her, moving her into the building. She could hear them still arguing outside as they waited for the lift. The doors opened and then all four bodies were around her. Whatever she was.

“Myfanwy, baby, are you okay?” Eliza cupped her face in their hands.

She shook her head slowly. She had to work to find her voice again. The lift doors opened onto her floor. Her body was coming back the further away from him she got. Alex unlocked her door and they steered her inside.

“Baby, can you talk to me?”

“Please?”

Myfanwy blinked hard. Her eyelashes were wet. She brushed her fingertips over her cheeks. She was crying.  Of course, she was.

“He found me.” Her voice sounded foreign. Distant.

“Who? Who was that guy?”

Myfanwy found Robert’s eyes. Full of concern and fear. She couldn’t make sense of it. They were there. How could they look at him and not know him? “You didn’t recognize him?”

“Recognize him? From where? Who was he?”

Myfanwy sat down on her couch and stared blankly at the wall. She had been dreading this day for so long. Enough time had passed that she thought it would never come. She’d gotten complicit.

“Myfanwy, who was that?” Gestalt demanded. Teddy was on the phone with someone. She assumed Bronwyn or Monica. She couldn’t focus on what was being said. Her head was spinning.

“He found me.” She couldn’t work it out. How had she let herself forget him for an instant? 

“ _ Who _ ?”

Myfanwy continued to stare at the wall. “Bristol.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I last updated! I've been trying to figure this chapter out for a very long time.


	23. Start Spreading the News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt takes Myfanwy safely away.

New York City was remarkably similar to how it was depicted in the movies. At least, the part she was in. The streets were packed with cars and the sidewalks were packed with bodies. It was absurd to have so many people sardined into one place. Especially since the country was so massive.

Myfanwy stared out from the flat and across the Hudson River. What was it about people that they always built their metropolises on rivers? Even in the modern age a city is seldom found without a river running through it. Just one more thing that connected everyone. Big or small, rich or poor, deep down everyone wanted the same simple things.

"You know, the first time I met Gestalt was in this city," Monica said, coming to stand beside Myfanwy in the flat.

"They told me."

Myfanwy turned away from the windows and dropped onto the couch. She'd spent the past two days holed up in Gestalt's New York flat. Apartment. Whatever. Bronwyn was staying in her flat in London with Marcus and Conrad waiting for Bristol to show his ugly face again. She didn't know what they were planning to say or do to him when he did reappear. She was stuck in America until he did.

Monica sighed and sat on the chair opposite Myfanwy. "Look, I think we might've gotten off on the wrong foot."

"No, we didn't. You decided to hate me without being informed of the situation and hold a grudge thereafter. That isn't getting off on the wrong foot. That's being a bitch," Myfanwy tucked her right leg up against her chest and rested her chin on her knee as she stared at the white, grand piano across the spacious living room.

Monica cleared her throat awkwardly. "Alright, then I was a bitch. I'm sorry. It  _ is _ my job to be overprotective, you know."

Myfanwy raised her brows in acknowledgement, but didn't turn her gaze from the piano.

"Nobody's really told me the deal with you and this Bristol character. Gestalt's implied he's some sort of stalker." Monica was quiet for a few beats as she waited for an answer Myfanwy had no intention of giving. "I have a lot of experience with stalkers. I've worked for Gestalt for almost ten years. This guy isn't that. I would have spotted him by now."

"Have I somehow given you the impression that I want to talk?" Myfanwy asked, turning to look at Monica at last.

Monica's mouth snapped shut. "I'm trying to do my job."

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. "You're trying to put your nose into matters that don't concern you."

"If you don't trust me, then –"

"I don't trust you." Myfanwy got to her feet. "So, maybe we can drop this."

Alex came into the living room with disheveled hair. He wrapped an arm around Myfanwy's waist and kissed her temple. "Morning."

Eliza scratched behind her ear and peered at Myfanwy. "How long have you been up? It's barely six."

Myfanwy shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Jet lag."

Robert stuck his tongue in his jaw and stared at her appraisingly. "We could go out for breakfast today. What do you say?"

Myfanwy gave them a small smile and nodded.

Teddy kissed her cheek. "Go find something to wear. I need to shower."

The closet in the New York flat was somehow larger than the one in London. This flat was a two bedroom. The second bedroom was reserved for Monica and was only slightly smaller than the master bedroom. Myfanwy hadn't so much as glanced inside, but Gestalt had informed her of the fact during the tour.

The shower in the master bath kicked on as Myfanwy sorted through Gestalt's eclectic wardrobe. She slipped on a pair of Eliza's skinny jeans that were just a little loose on her and one of Robert's t-shirts. She found one of Alex's never-worn zip-up hoodies and threw it on. She wore her own flats.

Gestalt looked her up and down when they emerged from the bathroom, showered and dressed. Eliza fit their thumbs through the belt loops on the jeans and pulled Myfanwy in for a kiss. "Nobody should look so hot in a plain t-shirt and jeans."

Myfanwy leaned her forehead against theirs. "You're one to talk."

Eliza let out a small, breathy laugh before kissing her. "You're forgetting something, I think."

Teddy turned her around and dropped a pair of sunglasses on her head. "Hide your face as much as you can."

Myfanwy pulled the sunglasses onto her nose and frowned up at them. "I don't think there's any hiding me anymore."

Teddy's big hands cupped her cheeks as they sighed discontentedly down at her. "We can at least minimize tabloid coverage, hm?" They dropped a short kiss on her lips. "We're not quite so easily recognizable here anyway."

Robert took her hand and the five of them walked to the door. Monica followed behind them as discreetly as she could. Myfanwy knew the conversation between them wasn't finished. It wouldn't stop her from avoiding it as long as possible.

"We could go to Central Park or Times Square after breakfast. What do you think?" They guided her into an upscale restaurant only two blocks from the flat.

"I think we haven't even ordered breakfast yet." She picked up her menu and stared down at it. Her eyes were dry from spending the past three or four nights sleeplessly. She was hoping whatever restaurant this was, it dealt in the sort of American breakfast foods so prevalent in American television and movies. Stacks of flapjacks drenched in maple syrup. She didn't see flapjacks on the menu.

"Coffee for the table?" The waitress asked as soon as she stopped at the table. She was holding a metal cannister surely containing the offered coffee. She filled everyone's cup and beamed at them. "Need a minute or are you ready to order?"

Robert looked at Myfanwy. She shrugged at him and looked up at the waitress who had fixated on Robert.

"Could I have a stack of pancakes?"

The waitress flipped a notepad open and scribbled the order. "Anything on them? Fruit or chocolate chips or pecans?"

"Oh... just... normal pancakes, I think?" She swallowed her discomfort. "With maple syrup, though."

Myfanwy took a sip of her coffee and looked out through the tinted window. The streets weren't quite so crowded yet. She knew they'd soon be packed full of pedestrians hurrying to work or out to shop or wherever else it was important they go. London was much the same if on a much smaller scale. Not quite so many people fighting against each other.

"We could go shopping on Fifth Avenue," Gestalt suggested.

Myfanwy looked back at the table, surprised to see their waitress had gone. Gestalt was looking at her with barely concealed concern. Monica had her coffee cup held in front of her face, but her attention was on Myfanwy entirely.

"Whatever you want to do."

Gestalt deflated. "No. I...." They trailed off and didn't pick back up. Myfanwy went back to staring out the window.

Their food arrived and they continued to eat in relative silence. Myfanwy was lost in her haunted memories. The lights that would flicker whenever Bristol came around. After that first night, they flickered every time. Like a warning. The numbers on a countdown before the explosion.

She ate her pancakes without tasting them. Instead, the taste of smoke and plaster filled her nose and mouth. Her vision was already blurry from dryness. It reminded her of stumbling through the wreckage in the smoky aftermath. 

"Myfanwy?" Robert's hand touched her shoulder featherlight.

"Sorry?"

They smiled at her reassuringly. "We're going."

Myfanwy stood and let Gestalt help her into her jacket. Memories she had tried to bury were surfacing after years of repression. Memories she wanted nothing more than to keep buried.

"What would you like to do?" Gestalt asked again.

Myfanwy looked around the street. She had long wanted to visit New York City. She had a whole list of places she wanted to go when she made it. Now that she was here, she couldn't remember a single place. 

"Um...." She dropped Robert's hand and turned around, struggling to remember. "The... it's... hm."

"Anywhere," Gestalt promised.

She took a couple steps backwards in the direction of their building. Alex jumped forward, reaching for her, when her back hit something solid. Her heart dropped clear into her gut as she turned around. 

"Sorry," she spluttered.

A set of gleaming, white teeth smiled at her beneath brilliant, blue eyes. Myfanwy stared up at him wonderingly. "No worries." His eyes lifted from her to Gestalt behind her. The smile grew. "Rob! When did you all get to town?"

"Couple days ago," Robert answered. Myfanwy took a step back towards them. To safety.

"You didn't say anything?" The man stepped closer to Robert. "It's one thing to leave without a word."

Myfanwy tilted her head as she appraised the situation. She quickly decided she didn't like it. Robert continued good naturedly through the small talk. The man's name was Matt. She watched him squeeze Robert's upper arm lightly. Intimately.

"The Met!" She blurted. Robert's and Matt's eyes both snapped to hers. She cleared her throat and blushed. "That's... I want to go to the Met." She held her hand out for Robert. Her whole body relaxed as soon as he took it.

"Sorry to run off, Matt. It's my girlfriend's first time in New York. I promised to take her to see the city."

Matt's face fell. "Girlfriend?"

Teddy patted Matt's shoulder firmly and gave him a pitied look. "Tough row, mate."

Myfanwy pulled Robert's arm around her shoulders and tucked her arm around their waist. Gestalt chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. They took the tube to the Met. Or... the subway. It took twenty minutes and they couldn't just drive. Taxis weren't big enough for all of them.

It cost twenty-five dollars a body for admission. Myfanwy thought it was stupid that the museums charged any money at all for admission. Then again, everything said America charged for everything. Including water and air. Barbaric.

They stayed in the museum until one. Myfanwy was sure to get their money's worth. She looked at everything. Read every plaquette. Alex's stomach growled beside her and she remembered she should be hungry.

The restaurant they visited for lunch was much  more quaint than the posh place they'd gone for breakfast. Myfanwy ordered a salad she knew she'd probably only pick at and a coffee. Gestalt asked her about the museum and talked about other places on the museum campus they could visit while they were there.

"Um, excuse me?" Myfanwy looked over at the young girls at the edge of their table. Monica slid her arm across the table to the other side. A strange move in Myfanwy's mind. One of the girls held up her phone. "Could... um... will you take a photo with us?"

Eliza smiled brightly at the girls. "Just me? Or do you want my brothers in the photo?"

The girls looked happy enough to melt. "If you all wouldn't mind?"

Gestalt nodded at Monica and stood up. Myfanwy watched them pose around the girls just the way they had with the girl in Italy. The girls thanked them profusely and wandered back to their table across the restaurant jabbering and giggling.

"If we cross the park, the Museum of Natural History is there. Or we could go to the Central Park Zoo."

Myfanwy picked at her salad. Her feet were sore from walking so much. The flats weren't much protection. She had a sudden memory of stumbling barefoot through broken glass and crumbled stone. Her feet were covered in blood and filth.

"Or we could see a Broadway show?"

Myfanwy set her fork down and leaned back. "Could we just go back to your flat? I'm a bit worn down."

She wasn't lying. She was exhausted. Still, she knew she wouldn't be sleeping any time soon. Not when her thoughts were so quick to betray her. She couldn't imagine what horrors her subconscious had in mind for her.

They took up on the sofa when they got back. Gestalt picked out some romance for them to watch. Myfanwy couldn't name it or a single character from it. Her thoughts were wandering once more. Entirely against her will.

They were in bed by nine. Myfanwy could feel the subtle disappointment in Gestalt. Not sexually. They were easily satisfied in that department. She waited in bed until around two when all of Gestalt was practically comatose. She slipped on a robe and tiptoed out to the living room again.

She took a small catnap on the couch. The moment Bristol's face made its debut, her eyes shot open. She watched the sun come up again. Monica's careful steps crept into the room.

"You didn't sleep again?"

Myfanwy sighed heavily and shut her eyes. "None of your business."

Monica sat down across the room. Myfanwy tried to ignore her. Even when the woman tilted her head at her in that awful, pitying way. "Do you know Grantchester is afraid of you?"

Myfanwy squinted at her across the room. "What are you talking about?"

"Conrad? Gestalt's manager-slash-father figure?"

"Yes. I know who he is."

Monica shrugged. "He's terrified of you. He told me if I was smart, I'd be terrified of you, too."

Myfanwy rested her chin on her knee.

Monica continued. "He thinks if we were in a fight, you'd win. I don't see what turning the lights out has to do with besting  _ me  _ in a fight. I can fight just fine with or without the lights on. Grantchester says that's not where your power stops."

Myfanwy looked at her. "What do you want? A demonstration?"

Monica leaned forward in her chair. "I want to know what or who's got some supersonic woman terrified so bad she can't sleep at night. Even when she's a thousand miles away."

"Who says I'm terrified?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "I'm a bitch, not an idiot."

Myfanwy groaned and leaned her head back against the back rest. Monica was like a dog with a bone. "Bristol was assigned to me at the  Checquy . Or... I was assigned to him. I don't know."

Monica's brow furrowed. "You were at the  Checquy ? Like Gestalt and Grantchester?"

Myfanwy covered her eyes with her hands. "Please, stop asking."

There was a silence between them. Less tense than the morning before. Kinder.

"Gestalt's worried about you, you know."

Myfanwy nodded. "I know."

"Could you try to at least pretend you're having fun? It's a vacation."

Myfanwy glared at them. "Don’t assume you know what goes on between Gestalt and me."

Monica held up her hands. "That wasn't my intention at all." She eyed Myfanwy a moment longer. "Do you know Conrad and Marcus had to personally promise not to leave your apartment until they personally apprehended your guy, Bristol before they'd even  _ think _ about going away with you? They wanted to leave three of their bodies behind." Monica shifted in her seat. "That would've only gotten the bad kind of messy."

The silence stretched as Myfanwy absorbed her words. Monica moved into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. She poured two cups and brought one to Myfanwy.

"They'll leave, you know."

Myfanwy shook her head. "They know everything. They should have left long ago."

Monica sat down on the coffee table in front of Myfanwy. "I don't mean leave you. I mean they'll pack up and go back to London to hunt down Bristol."

Myfanwy took a deep drink of her coffee.

"They'll kill him, Myfanwy. And when they're in police custody and under the watchful eye of the government, how long do you think it will be before someone up the food chain has them shipped off to  Glengrove ?  To be reprocessed as an EVA?"

She hadn't considered that. She hadn't thought Gestalt genuinely capable of murder before. There was some part of her that knew they could. They were trained for it. Her train of thought never moved beyond that very slim possibility. The extent of the repercussions for their association. No wonder so many people didn't want them together.

"I'm not asking for you to magically heal yourself from whatever fucked up shit this Bristol character did to you. I just want you to get a little bit better at pretending you're alright." Monica stood up.  "Maybe pretend to have fun while you're at it. You  _ are  _ on vacation."

It was a few minutes more before Gestalt was up and moving around. Myfanwy excused herself to shower. Monica was right. She needed to get better at being in control of her own thoughts. She was on vacation in New York City for the first time in her life. Andrew Bristol was not going to take that away from her, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long since my last update! :'( I'm trying, I swear!


	24. Porn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what the title says.

They took a boat tour, visited every museum New York City had to offer, strolled through Central Park, and watched three Broadway shows. Eventually, Myfanwy's exhaustion won out and she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. Gestalt's enthusiasm rose with hers.

"You wanted to go other places, didn't you?" Gestalt asked over breakfast.

Myfanwy chewed thoughtfully. "Shouldn't we stay in one place so Bron and them can contact us?"

Teddy took a bite of bacon. "The miracle of mobile phones."

Duh. She ducked her head, embarrassed. "Where do you want to go?"

Robert brushed her hair back from her face. "I asked you first."

She took their hand in hers and leaned back. Her fingers stroked the back of their hand as she stared out the window and thought. "My list is so long. I don't really know which to pick."

"Is this a physical list? Or one you just sort of make up in your head as an idea?"

Myfanwy frowned. "Some of  it's physical. In a diary I kept when I was twelve or thirteen."

Gestalt snickered. "Tell me some of the places. We can figure it out."

She pressed her lips together and looked down at their hand in  hers.  "Um... Boston, Washington, Hollywood, Chicago, the Grand Canyon, the mountain with the faces, Miami, and, um, I want to camp in the nature preserve."

Gestalt looked bemused. "Just to name a few?" They teased.

"Yellowstone," she  mumbled . "That's the name of the nature preserve."

Robert leaned over and kissed her cheek. "How about we start with Boston since  it's closest and then we can go down to Washington and work our way out from there?" 

Myfanwy stared at them in shock. "I didn't mean we had to go everywhere."

Robert grinned at her. "Nice try." They slid a napkin off the table and held it up so she could see. They had written down every place she'd said. "We're going to cross off every item on your list."

She grabbed Robert's collar and pulled them close to whisper in their ear. "You know, I have a different sort of list I'd like to cross a few things off."

"What sort of list?" Their voice was suddenly thick with desire.

Myfanwy pressed her lips to their jaw and hummed. "The sort of list that might make use of the things I found in that black box at the back of your closet."

Gestalt straightened in their chairs and finished eating as if she hadn't said anything. Myfanwy couldn't account for the behavior. She thought they'd be sweeping her out of the restaurant immediately. They ate at a reasonable pace and sipped their coffee as if the conversation had never happened. When their plates were cleaned, Gestalt paid the bill and led the way out to the sidewalk.

"How's your mum, Monica?" Alex asked, hands in their pockets. They strolled leisurely towards their flat.

"Fine, I think. Pushing me to settle down and start a family."

"She knows Marcus, yeah?"

Monica nodded. "She's pestering me about getting a ring on my finger."

"Maybe she's just lonely since your dad. Wants you to be around more?" 

Monica scoffed and shrugged. "That ship sailed a long time ago."

Gestalt stopped her at the door to their building with Alex and Teddy. Robert and Eliza kept walking with Myfanwy into the building and towards the lift. Myfanwy looked over her shoulder curiously. Monica was arguing with them now. She couldn't hear what it was about.

Robert pulled her into the lift and pressed her into the corner. "Fucking minx," they growled before capturing her lips with theirs.

Myfanwy hardly remembered the trip from the lift to the flat. She felt her EVA on her skin as Robert's tongue enticed her own. She had no idea where Eliza had gone. She didn't know where her clothes had gone either, but that wasn't important. Robert moved to her jaw, then her neck, then further down.

"Did you have specific toys in mind?" Eliza asked. Myfanwy turned and looked blearily at them. "Or is it dealer's choice?"

Myfanwy gasped as they rolled her nipple between their teeth. "Gah! Um. Within reason."

Eliza frowned and reached into the box. "What's within reason?" She held up a vibrator and something else Myfanwy couldn't identify.

"I don't know what that is."

Gestalt snickered. "Nipple clamp." 

Robert kissed her breasts in turn. The bedroom door opened and Teddy and Alex came into the room wearing boxers and nothing else. 

"I don't think we'll use those anyway," Alex said as Eliza dropped it back in the box.

Teddy settled onto the bed on her other side and sucked her other nipple between their teeth. Myfanwy watched as Eliza rummaged around in the box. They'd pick something out, stare for a moment, then move on. Myfanwy felt her belly swirling with excitement and apprehension.

"Are you going to tie me up again?" Myfanwy remembered exquisitely the tightness of the ropes as Gestalt teased and pleasured her over and over again.

Gestalt paused. "No. I promise. I won't do that."

Myfanwy frowned. "You did it before?"

Eight eyes stared at her. "I'm so sorry. I never would have done that if I had any idea. I never would have suggested it."

Myfanwy slid up to the headboard and stared at Eliza. The body she always thought of as Most  In Charge. Even though she knew there was no such body.

"Oh." She frowned at her lap. The silvery lines of her self-harm scars glaring at her.

"What?" Alex took her hand in theirs and ran their thumb over the back of it.

She shook her head, cheeks flaming.

"Are you upset with me?"

"No, but I...." She scrubbed at her inflamed cheeks. "I just sort of liked it, okay? Trusting you that much." She covered her eyes.

Gestalt sat back. "You  _ want _ me to tie you up?"

"Even with everything Bris–  ehem –  _ he _ did to you?"

Myfanwy reached out to take Gestalt's hands again. "I like trusting you. I like knowing I  _ can _ trust you even more." She took a deep breath. "If I'm honest, I spent the whole time you were tying me up staving off an episode."

Gestalt's brows knit together in confusion. "Then why would you want to repeat–" 

"You kept reassuring me. Telling me I could tell you to stop at any time.  _ Arguing _ with me. Letting me win. You were already untying the silk before I even realized I wasn't afraid. At all." Myfanwy smiled at them. "Do you have any idea what that feels like? To spend your whole life looking over your shoulder and waiting for the other shoe to drop and then suddenly, one day, finding yourself feeling so completely safe and happy that you forget what being afraid is, even for a second?"

Gestalt stared at her for a moment. Her cheeks burned painfully in embarrassment from her declaration. She wanted to take her words and swallow them back up. The longer Gestalt looked at her, the less sure of herself she became.

Suddenly, they grinned at her. "You might be in love with me."

Myfanwy snorted and rolled her eyes at them. "You've got it backwards.  _ You're _ in love with  _ me _ ."

Eliza bent over the bed and kissed her tenderly. "And it is out of that very love that I am left with no choice but to tie you to this bed and fuck you until you lose all  sense of self."

Two hands grabbed her ankles and pulled her back down until she was lying flat on the bed again. She giggled. "Race you there."

Teddy and Eliza each grabbed one of her hands and kissed her palms as they set to tying a black, silk ribbon around them. "Oh, baby, I haven't had my sense of self since I saw you in that bar."

They brought her arms above her head to tie them to the headboard at the same time Alex and Robert were tying her ankles to the footboard. Eliza brushed her hair back and whispered their thumb across her bottom lip.

"I think you would have run away from me if you knew what I was plotting that night."

Myfanwy stared at them hungrily from beneath her lashes. "Did it have anything to do with your hot tub?"

Eliza stood from the bed and returned to the box. "My first plan was to get you into the nearest hotel room immediately and fuck your brains out."

"First plan?" Myfanwy squirmed on the bed. "There were more?"

Eliza tossed something to Teddy who caught without taking their eyes from hers. "Some were plans. Some were fantasies."

Myfanwy raised her brows and then gasped as Teddy pressed a tiny vibrator against her clit and turned it on. She squirmed against the mattress.

"T-tell me a fantasy."

Alex and Robert were holding her knees apart. Watching as they worked the vibrator against her. Eliza was still rummaging in the box.

"I wanted to take you there on stage with all four of my bodies. I fantasized taking you over and over and never sharing you with anyone else."

"I can be a bit p ossessive sometimes."

"But I think you bring it out the worst in me."

Eliza returned to the bed and kissed Myfanwy. Slow. Easy. Teasing.

"I thought about kicking Conrad and Monica out of the flat and fucking you then and there. I thought about coercing you into the backseat of my car and fucking you there. I thought about inviting myself up to your flat and fucking you there."

Eliza kissed her neck. "And that was just the first night."

Myfanwy shut her eyes and moaned as Teddy slipped the vibrator inside her. "Is...  is it... is it fucked up I was thinking almost the same thing?"

Gestalt chortled around her. Eliza smoothed her hair back again. "What did you think about the beads?" She held up a familiar looking strand of balls in gradually increasing sizes. This set was black instead of silver. Myfanwy felt chills tremble through her body.

Myfanwy nodded. "Okay."

Gestalt smiled. "You're sure?"

Myfanwy closed her eyes and licked her lips. "Mm. As long as you fuck me first."

There was a rustling. The vibrator flicked off and Teddy pulled it from her gently. It was immediately replaced by Alex's cock. Myfanwy twisted her hands around to grab the silk straps. She wanted to wrap her legs around them. To turn them over and work herself to the limit. Teddy bent and suckled at her hardened nipple while Eliza focused on readying the beads.

It didn't take much of Alex's maneuverings to have her coming. She tugged at the straps holding her and let out a cry of ecstasy. Alex grunted as he came while her orgasm still rocked through her. Robert untied one of her legs while her body was still recovering. Her knee was brought to her chest where Teddy took hold of it.

"Still alright, love?" He murmured in her ear.

"Cloud nine." She turned her head and graced them with a sloppy kiss that stopped as soon as Robert's hands started feeding the anal beads into her. Eliza moved down and took her tongue to Myfanwy's overly sensitive clit. Still singing from the first orgasm. Myfanwy panted into Teddy's mouth and whimpered as they teased and worked her.

"Do you want to stop?" 

Robert moved from her. She felt Teddy's stiffened member against her hip. Stopping right then sounded like a punishment. She shook her head and nipped at Teddy's collarbone. They shifted and pressed their cock more firmly into her hip. Myfanwy moaned as Eliza slipped her fingers into her.

"Fuck!" She tightened her grip on the silk.

Teddy smiled at her and pet the back of his fingers lightly down her cheek. "I need a yes or no."

Myfanwy stared at them as she tried to remember the question. "Yes?" Gestalt's hands and mouth came away from her at once. She twisted toward them. "Fuck! I mean, no!" 

Gestalt was slower to move back. "Don't push yourself. We can just as easily get dressed and go for a walk or find a museum we haven't been in yet."

Myfanwy went slack against the restraints and shut her eyes. "Gestalt, will you  _ please  _ just fuck me?"

Eliza slid up her body and kissed each of her breasts. "Would that make you happy?"

"Obviously."

Eliza kissed her then. Myfanwy had no idea when they'd put on the strap-on.  Maybe they'd been wearing it since they started tying her up. Myfanwy had no idea. She hardly had any thoughts as soon as they started working against her. Just like before, the beads were pulled from her as she reached her climax. Just like before, her orgasm was intensified. 

The lights blinked off and stayed off for a few minutes. Gestalt pressed in on her. Kissing her and reassuring her that they hadn't been harmed by her EVA. They silk came away from her wrists and ankle. Myfanwy grabbed the first body she could and slid herself down onto their length.

"You never cease to amaze me," Robert rasped in her ear as she worked herself over him.

Myfanwy leaned back and smiled down at them as the lights came back on. "Who me? I'm just a horny fangirl."

Gestalt fisted their hand in her hair and pulled her in to kiss her hard. Myfanwy slowed her rocking as she became distracted by their kiss. Teddy's hands settled on her waist. Just above where Robert's hand was on her hip.

"Have I convinced you, yet?" 

Myfanwy broke away, panting. "Convinced me of what?"

Teddy's finger pressed into her backend causing a ripple to shudder through her. She leaned her head against Robert's shoulder as they moved their finger in and out in time with their cock. Fear twisted in her belly, but it wasn't alone. She was excited. Curious. Lusty.

"It'll hurt," she panted. Fear was winning out, but Teddy's fingers continued their easy maneuverings.

"I'll stop."

Myfanwy pressed her face into Robert's neck. A small tremble moved through her. She nodded against them.

"Tell me no, love ," Robert whispered into her hair. "It's alright."

She shook her head and pressed herself back against Teddy's hand. "I trust you."

The fingers slipped away from her and suddenly she was regretting her decision to give them the green light. It was one thing when she thought she had some general idea of what it was going to feel like. Another entirely when she was just sitting and waiting.

They didn't make her wait long. She felt Teddy's head pressed against her. She grabbed two fistfuls of Robert's hair as she waited. Robert pressed a firm kiss to her cheekbone.

"Did you change your mind?" They asked patiently.

"No." Her voice was steadier than she felt.

Eliza was beside her then. Her fingers drifted soothingly up and down her back. "You have to relax, then, love."

Easily done the way they were kissing and petting her. She felt stretched beyond belief. Filled so entirely it was amazing she'd ever thought she was satisfied before. She came again before Teddy had even truly begun.

"Are you alright, Myfanwy?" Eliza asked gently but firmly.

Myfanwy licked her lips and nodded. Her grip on Robert's hair had gone slack. She was completely at ease. "Keep going."

"You're sure?"

She nodded, kissing their neck and sighing as they began to move. Myfanwy found Alex's hand with one of her own. The other kept her secure on Robert's lap as he and Teddy worked themselves against her. The electricity slid lazily across her skin and found its way into all four of Gestalt's bodies as she came again. Gestalt cried out around her and the lights went out for the second time.

Myfanwy lie amid their bodies and listened to their labored breathing. She felt another shudder run through her like aftershocks in an earthquake. She needed to use the bathroom, but her legs felt like pudding. Nowhere near strong enough to carry her across the room. Not even strong enough to stand her upright again.

"Baby?" Gestalt mumbled, groggily.

"'M here."

Teddy's hand rested on her hip where Robert's had been. "You alright?"

Myfanwy blinked her eyes up at the dark ceiling. It was barely noon so even without power, she could still see. Her chest heaved as it tried to resume regular breathing. Her body felt sore. Not the same sort of ache that had been present when her virginity had been raped away from her. That pain had been deep. Like taking a knife to herself. This soreness was like having gone for an extra half mile in a run. A pleasing sort of soreness.

"Myfanwy?"

She turned and kissed Alex fiercely. "I love you," she affirmed.

"Pale in comparison to how I love you."

Myfanwy narrowed her eyes at them. "That's a lie."

"Is not."

Myfanwy sat up. Realized that made the ache in her bum worse, and flopped back down, crossing her arms over her chest. "What makes you think you love me more than I love you?"

Gestalt thought quietly for a moment. "When was the last time you wrote  _ me _ a song?" They asked in all four voices.

Myfanwy looked up at Eliza and rolled her eyes. "When was the last time  _ you  _ let  _ me _ stick my dick up your ass?"

Gestalt erupted in laughter. "Alright, alright. We'll call it a draw."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while since I just wrote some straight up smut. I'll find the plot again at some point.


	25. Lover's Spat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy and Gestalt move through her list of tourist destinations. She learns more about Gestalt's hidden past and hidden traumas.

Myfanwy hadn't gone camping since she was a kid. Her mom and dad took Bronwyn and her out when she was about ten. She remembered making s'mores with her sister around the campfire after a day of hiking. She remembered helping her dad set up the tent and giggling when her mom accidentally dropped the stakes out of the bag. It was one of her fondest childhood memories. 

So far, what she'd seen of Yellowstone was magnificent. She'd never seen anything like it in her life. She doubted she ever would again. Gestalt had gone off to rent or buy camping equipment and talk to a hiking guide. Myfanwy perused the pamphlets in the visitor's center. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually been left on her own. Even for such a short amount of time. 

There was a wall of educational brochures about the park including information about the ecosystem, the wildlife, the park's history, and fire and its effects. Myfanwy grabbed one of the park history brochures and started to read. Apparently, Yellowstone got its start eleven thousand years ago. At least, as far as human beings were concerned. 

"First time at the park?" 

Myfanwy jumped and closed the brochure before turning to look at the man that had spoken. He was far too close to her. She took a small step backwards. "Oh, um, yes." 

The man grinned and tilted his head at her. "Where're you from?" 

"England." 

"I was just in London a couple months ago. I'm doing this whole introspective traveling thing so I've been going to a lot of places. What about you?" 

"Um, just... wanted to see the park." She glanced around for any of Gestalt's heads, but came up empty. 

"I get that. I've been out hiking these trails for the past two weeks. Saw a whole herd of buffalo a couple days ago. Beautiful animals." The man looked over the pamphlets before pulling out one of the wildlife ones and handing it to her. "Grizzly got into my food two nights ago. I had to come back in for supplies." He took out one of the park maps and a pulled a pen from his pocket. "From what I heard, there're tons of bears around here right now. You probably want to avoid it." 

"Oh. Thank you." 

The man continued, "If you wanna see something truly magical, though, you ought to follow this trail here, but take a left when you see the sign post for eighth mid-mile mark." He handed the map to her and put his pen back in his pocket. "If you want, I could take you out there." 

Myfanwy tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm supposed to go on some tour to see the big geyser this afternoon." 

"Ol' Faithful?" He beamed at her. "We'll pass right by it." 

Myfanwy chewed at her bottom lip as she tried to figure out how far of a hike it was going to be. "I think this is a different trail," she murmured to herself. One of the rangers had explained the easiest trails for them to hike from their campsite. Which was actually twelve family-sized campsites for privacy. 

"One thing I've really been focusing on throughout my journey is to just take things as they come, you know?" The man started. "Don't stick so close to a plan and let yourself have little adventures as they come. Get what I mean?" 

Myfanwy sighed. "I don't think adventure is really what I need in my life." 

"Everybody needs a little adventure!" The man cried. He threw his arm over her shoulders and squeezed. "Everybody needs a little excitement in their lives!" 

Myfanwy tried to shrug off his arm, but he wouldn't budge. "I think I've got enough excitement in my life already." 

"Making new friends, baby?" Gestalt's hands settled low on her hips as they stepped up behind her. The American man squinted over her at Robert. His arm loosened and dropped from around her shoulders and Myfanwy leaned back into Gestalt's chest. 

"He was telling me about a magic trail," Myfanwy explained. 

Robert rested his cheek against the side of her head and nodded. "I'm Robert," they held their hand out to the stranger. 

Myfanwy watched the man hesitate for a moment before taking Gestalt's hand. "Hayden." 

Robert's hand returned to Myfanwy's hip. "Are you a park ranger, Hayden?" 

Myfanwy shook her head. "He's an adventurer." 

"Ah." 

Myfanwy was biting her cheek to keep from laughing. She didn't know which was more entertaining. Hayden's crestfallen face or Gestalt's apparent jealousy. _ Gestalt _. Famous rock band, Gestalt. Jealous of some ditzy kid with a trust fund hitting on her in a visitors center. Hilarious. 

Myfanwy met Gestalt's eye over Hayden's shoulder. Teddy scowled at her and crossed his arms. They knew she was getting a kick out of their reaction. They were probably even thinking she did it on purpose. 

"I didn't know she had a boyfriend," Hayden explained. 

"_ She's _ still standing here," Myfanwy snapped. 

Hayden glanced down at her. "You could've said something." 

"If you're lonely, Hayden, I'm sure my brother would love to help you out," Robert told him before nodding at Teddy's body. 

Hayden looked behind him and nearly jumped out of his skin. He cleared his throat. "I'm not gay!" 

Teddy stepped towards him, unsmiling. "Something wrong with being gay?" 

Myfanwy elbowed Robert in the ribs. "That's enough." 

Teddy rolled their eyes. "Get out of my sight." 

Hayden scrambled away from them and into a different room in the visitors center. Myfanwy turned in Robert's arms and laced her fingers behind their neck. They were still frowning at her. 

"I leave you alone for five minutes and you start flirting with the first idiot you see," they grumbled. 

"I did not. I was minding my own business reading about the park and he came up to me. _ You _were nowhere to be found." 

Teddy huffed behind her. "You were letting him hang all over you." 

"Let?" She dropped her hands and pushed at their chest. "You can be such a prick sometimes." 

Gestalt crossed their arms over their chests. "You’re no ray of sunshine all the time, either." 

"Then go find someone who is." Myfanwy stomped around them and outside. 

The van they had rented was at the far end of the parking lot. They were going to be driving it up to the campsite before hiking out to Ol' Faithful. Monica was trying to shove their equipment and supplies into the boot. She looked up when Myfanwy stopped beside her. 

"Just so you know, I hate camping," Monica told her. "There's a reason mankind invented Sertas." 

Myfanwy leaned her head back against the side of the van. It seemed all Monica ever did was complain about something. At least, that had been her experience. 

"What's eating you?" 

Myfanwy shook her head and shut her eyes. Monica shut the boot and stepped over to her. 

"Get into it with Gestalt?" 

Myfanwy pressed her lips together. Monica sighed and copied Myfanwy's stance. 

"Look, they're doing this whole thing for you. They hate camping even more than I do. Or... I don't know, they're scared of it or something. Puts them on edge." 

Myfanwy turned to look at her curiously. "What do you mean?" 

Monica looked down at her nails. "A few years ago – must've been six or seven years – they were supposed to do this music video for some film that happened in the woods or some shit. They've always been relatively level-headed as far as public figures go, but for some reason they turned into complete divas. Wouldn't stay outside for more than an hour at a time and refused to follow about half of the stage directions for no reason. Conrad was going to tell me why, but Gestalt, like, swore him to secrecy or something. No idea." 

Myfanwy kicked at the gravel beneath her boot. "Why wouldn't they say something?" 

Monica scoffed. "You said you wanted to go camping here. Gestalt is capable of a lot of things, Myfanwy, but saying no to you isn't one of them." 

Myfanwy saw the four of them trudging across the parking lot followed by a man in cargo pants and a khaki shirt. "So, instead, they've decided to act like complete assholes the whole trip. So much better." She opened the van door and climbed inside. 

The mood lightened once they reached the geysers. Even Gestalt couldn't deny it was beautiful. The ranger took them through a few short trails before dropping them back at their campsite for the night. Myfanwy plopped down on one of the chairs around the fire and leaned back with a yawn. 

Monica gave some halfhearted excuse and made her way into her tent, grumbling about the air mattress as she went. Gestalt stood awkwardly around the fire. They seemed genuinely spooked. Myfanwy wondered if it had anything to do with the Glasgow incident and Alex catching fire. They'd had an EVA heal them so they didn't even have a scar, but maybe they were still dealing with trauma. 

"Are you okay?" 

Gestalt looked at her across the fire with all eight eyes. "Fine. Are you enjoying yourself?" 

Myfanwy narrowed her eyes at their short tone. "What's going on with you?" 

Gestalt shrugged. Alex bent and picked up a stick and began poking at the flames. So, they weren't afraid of fire. That only left a bigger mystery. 

"Monica says you have a phobia about camping." 

Gestalt scoffed. "Monica doesn’t know anything." 

Myfanwy stood and rounded the fire to grab Alex's hand. She took the stick from them and tossed it away. "Hey. How about you talk to me instead of pitching this passive-aggressive fit?" 

Alex snatched their hand away. "I'm not throwing a fit." 

Myfanwy threw her hands up. "Fine. Let's just leave. We can pack up the van and put out the fire and go find a hotel somewhere nearby." 

Gestalt scowled first at her, then at the ground. "Too late to change your mind now." 

Myfanwy groaned and dropped back into her chair. "It wouldn't have been too late if you would have just come clean and told me you don't like camping." 

"I never said I don't like camping." 

"Maybe not with your words." 

"Fuck's sake, Myfanwy! We're only out here to help keep your mind off your rapist who, as it turned out, was _ not _ dead like you said. You're the one that practically goes into a coma every time something so much as suggests at your trauma. Maybe you can get off my back until you can deal with your own issues." 

Myfanwy stared, slack jawed at them for five seconds as she processed. She swallowed and stood slowly from her chair. She opened her mouth to say something, closed it, and nodded before turning and walking away from the campfire. 

She found the path to the campsite restrooms and followed it out to the parking lot. Monica said they went complete diva when faced with the great outdoors. Maybe that was what she meant. She stopped in the women's restroom and splashed a bit of cold water on her face. She had been most excited about this leg of their transcontinental journey. She could have done without it if she'd had any idea what it would do to Gestalt. 

She slumped against the far wall and put her head between her knees. She was frustrated and angry and then angry at herself for being angry with Gestalt. She'd been the selfish one. She hadn't stopped to consider anyone else's feelings before setting them off on some crazy tourist's quest. 

"Myfanwy?" Eliza's voice echoed against the tiles as she stepped inside the restroom. Her footsteps echoed through the small room as she walked over to where Myfanwy was sitting. "I'm sorry. I should've never said any of that. I didn't mean it." 

Myfanwy moved and rested her chin on her knees. "My parents took me and my sister camping when I was ten. It's one of the best memories I have of my family all together." 

Eliza took a deep breath before sitting beside her on the wall. The chirp of crickets was the only sound for a long time. Myfanwy thought about getting up and leaving again, but she remembered how Gestalt would often sit and wait for her to speak. Sometimes hours. She could do the same for them. 

"You never got out to gen pop with us so you don't know the Checquy curriculum," Eliza started after an indeterminate amount of time. "Survivalist training was one of the most pressed skills. Training us to survive in the elements on our own." 

Myfanwy reached over and took one of their hands in hers. They didn't even seem to recognize the act at first. Their fingers curled into hers almost on instinct. 

"I went on a camping trip when I was ten, too. Only it wasn't called a camping trip. It was a 'survivalist expedition.' We were meant to put our skills and training to the test. 

"We followed all the guidelines. Find a source of water, build a border of rocks around your campfire, set up your tent somewhere with minimal exposure. We did it all. Will found the spot by the river. Naomi set up the tents. I did everything else. A little after noon, it started to rain. Not much, just enough to send us into our tents for cover. Then it start to really come down. 

"We didn't realize how fast the river would flood. We'd built our campsite too close. The waters swept my tent away while I was still zipped inside it. Robert, I mean. I remember fighting with the zipper and trying to cut my way free. I remember when I was dragged completely underwater. The burn of water as it filled my lungs. But the worst part was when I couldn't feel that body anymore at all." 

Myfanwy's blood ran out of her face. Eliza sighed and cupped Myfanwy's cheek. "Will jumped in and cut me out of the tent. He brought me back. Naomi wasn't so fortunate." 

Myfanwy pulled Eliza to her. "You could've said something. I never would've brought you out here. Never." 

Gestalt laughed against her shoulder. A low, haunted laugh she'd never heard from them before. "Tell you the truth, I thought I was over it. When you mentioned camping back in New York, I didn't even flinch." 

"Over it? Gestalt, you _ died _." Myfanwy kissed Eliza's cheek. "That's not something you get over." 

"Only part of me died. And I came back to life besides." 

"We can go find a hotel room somewhere. We don't have to camp here or anywhere else ever again. Let's just go wake up Monica and leave." Myfanwy jumped to her feet and tugged for Eliza to follow. 

"It's fine, Myfanwy. I can make it through one night. It's not like that was the last time the Checquy made me do survivalist training anyway." 

Myfanwy brushed Eliza's hair back over her shoulder. "I don't want to ever be compared to the Checquy in your mind." 

Eliza kissed her lightly. "I would never." 

Myfanwy leaned her forehead against theirs. "We can leave. Or we don't have to go inside the tent at all. We could stay outside. We don't have to sleep." 

Gestalt snickered. "Like you've been doing so much of that anyway." 

"What?" 

"We've been sharing a bed this whole time. Do you honestly think I don't know when you aren't in it?" 

Myfanwy flushed. "That's... that's just the jetlag and the, er, the time changes." 

"Don't lie to me. You're worried about Bristol." 

Myfanwy forced herself to swallow though her mouth was dry. "I never said he was dead, you know. I think you just assumed he was, but I've never lied about him." 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." 

"I'm sorry I brought you camping." 

Gestalt sighed and kissed her again. "Hey, we can get a hotel room tomorrow night and then move on to L.A. after." 

Myfanwy pushed open the door to the restroom only to be greeted by the rest of Gestalt's bodies. She dropped Eliza's hand to hug Robert's body tightly. They held her back and kissed the top of her head. "I'm fine. I'm okay." 

Teddy's hand cupped the back of her head and turned her to look at them. They smiled at her. "I have you. I'll never be better." 

They walked back along the trail somberly. Something sparked in Myfanwy's head. "What ever happened to Will? That name sounds familiar." 

Gestalt slowed their pace until they stopped again. "He died." 

Myfanwy's stomach dropped. "Did... did I...?" She couldn't get the question out. 

Gestalt pulled her into Teddy's embrace. "No! No, baby. We made it out of the fire together. You had nothing to do with it." 

"Don't say it if it isn't true," Myfanwy warned. 

"Vultures killed him a few years after the fire. It had nothing to do with you." 

Myfanwy took a steadying breath and nodded. "I'm sorry you lost your friend." 

Gestalt started walking again. "Maybe I can take you to see him when we get home. It's been a while since I last visited him. He would've loved you." 

"Probably enough to make me jealous." 

Myfanwy snorted. "Henry was enough to make you jealous." 

"Henry?" 

"The bloke in the visitor's center." 

Gestalt rolled their eyes. "I wasn't jealous." 

"Liar." 

"_ You're _the one that gets jealous." 

Myfanwy needled them in the ribs. "You're being really mean to me today." 

Gestalt sighed and kissed both her temples. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'll be good." 

"I can think of one way you can make it up to me." She waggled her eyebrows at them and grinned lasciviously. 

Gestalt licked their lips. "As long as you don't wake Monica." 

Myfanwy giggled and backed up towards the campfire shooting a glance at Monica's tent. "No promises." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't spell fluff without angst. Try it. F-L-U-A-N-G-S-T-F-F See? I'm always right.


	26. Ode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy and Gestalt spend time together. Myfanwy makes a decision.

They'd been back in New York for a few days already. Waiting for the all clear. Myfanwy couldn't imagine Bristol was this hard to find. He wasn't an EVA. He wasn't in hiding. He was a psychiatrist. She was bored of America. Bored of not having something concrete to do every day. She wanted to go back home. Back to work. 

Myfanwy thought she was getting over her sleeping issues. She hadn't dreamt of Bristol or the Checquy in weeks. She'd managed to wake up to the sun streaming in through the windows as content and relaxed as ever. Surrounded completely by Gestalt. It only lasted a few days before her sleeping became erratic again. 

She yawned in the darkened kitchen as she started the coffee maker for Gestalt and Monica. They were almost out of orange juice again. Myfanwy made a mental note to stop at the store. The sun wasn't up yet, but the sky was turning a sleepy violet shade. She took her cup of orange juice out to the balcony and sat down in one of the chairs. 

Just as the sun popped between the buildings, Monica shuffled into the main room and began clattering about. After a few minutes, she came and joined Myfanwy on the balcony. Things between them had become considerably less tense in the weeks they'd spent together. Myfanwy didn't know if she trusted the woman just yet. She'd turned on her so quickly before and held a grudge even longer. Still, she couldn't deny she enjoyed her company. 

"Conrad called to check in." 

Myfanwy turned to her interestedly. "Did they get him?" 

Monica frowned and shook her head. "Disappeared off the face of the earth, your man." 

Myfanwy scowled. "He's not my man." 

"Sorry. Didn't mean it that way." 

Myfanwy went back to her orange juice and the sunrise. She heard Gestalt moving around inside. Eventually she would have to put her foot down. She wasn't going to miss any more work. She wasn't going to upend her entire life because Andrew 'Wankstain' Bristol decided to pop back in unannounced. 

"You really should see a doctor about your sleep issues," Monica remarked. "The way you sound in the bedroom, you should be in a coma." 

Myfanwy choked on a mouthful of orange juice. Monica cackled beside her and reached over to pat her back. 

"The walls may not be thin, but they aren't _ that _ thick." 

Myfanwy stood to go back inside and find a towel or shower. Teddy and Alex caught her eye as she made her way back to the bathroom. They tipped their heads and smirked. She'd done something similar the night she'd found out about them. Her cheeks heated even more. Soothed only by the coldness of her shower. 

Gestalt was playing something on the piano when she emerged. She tried to place the unfamiliar tune as she dressed. They hadn't really touched their instruments in all the time they'd been away from home. Or, London, anyway. Gestalt had homes everywhere. 

Teddy was playing the piano while Eliza scribbled into a notebook on the couch. Alex was quietly tapping his two index fingers on the dining table while Robert tuned a violin. Monica was reading, curled up in an armchair. Myfanwy sat down beside Teddy on the piano bench and watched their fingers drop on the keys like rain on a tin roof ringing out a delicate melody. 

Alex was suddenly behind her. They brought her right hand up to the ivories and pressed her fingers into each key in some rhythm only they understood. Adding to the sound. Robert finished tuning the violin and brought it to his chin. Myfanwy took her eyes away from the piano keys. She didn't need to look anyway. Gestalt was doing all the playing. 

A low, melancholic note rang out as Robert pulled the bow along the strings. It fit in so seamlessly with the piano. Myfanwy found it difficult to focus on one aspect. Her attention darted between the piano she was sort of playing and the violin nestled under Robert's chin as they pulled a lonely tune from its strings. Eliza began to fit lyrics in somewhat quietly. 

"_ From the moment I was born _

_ Until the moment that I die _

_ I'll never be alone _

_ But I'm lonely all the time. _

_ "No part of me is missing _

_ I am altogether whole _

_ But without you there's no reason _

_ For me to go on with the show _

_ "I'm not lost and I'm not broken _

_ I shouldn't feel this frozen _

_ I'm not beaten, I'm not chained _

_ Still, I've never felt sustained _

_ I stare out at the faces in the crowd _

_ Hoping they can make me feel somehow _

_ Like me." _

Eliza fit their pen between their teeth and frowned down at the page seriously. Teddy and Robert stopped playing and Alex released her hand. Myfanwy chewed at the inside of her bottom lip. 

"What did you think?" Gestalt asked. 

"You don't often do ballads." 

Eliza scrunched up her face at her notebook. "I've written ballads before." 

"Two, I think," Myfanwy agreed. 

Teddy pulled her onto their lap and nuzzled her neck. "You really are my number one fan." 

Myfanwy giggled. "I'm not sure about that. All those girls that hang around for hours outside my flat just hoping to see you probably have me beat." 

"None of those girls can do what you do to me." 

"Don't make me barf," Monica warned without looking up from her book. 

Gestalt cleared a couple of their throats. Teddy shifted Myfanwy on their lap. "Honest opinion on the song so far?" 

Myfanwy smiled brightly and nodded. "I like it. I think your fans would go bonkers if you actually played the violin for it." 

Teddy kissed her cheek. "Mm, only if I keep it a ballad. Besides, that's a viola." 

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. "Terribly sorry." She pressed one of the keys on the piano and a soft note bounced around the walls before dying out. "What do you mean if you keep it a ballad?" 

"Most of my songs start off like this. Sort of musical first drafts, you know? And then once I've figured out the basic melody and lyrics, I switch it up. Increase the beats per minute, trade out the strings and piano, add in drums, and sing like I'm having the time of my life." They set Myfanwy back down on the bench beside them. 

"I can show you. Pick a song." 

Myfanwy tucked her hair behind her ears, fascinated. "Um... can you do _ Four Hearts, One Mind _?" 

Gestalt grinned at her. Eliza licked her lips. "Only if you promise to keep the lights on." 

Myfanwy blushed and glanced over at Monica. She caught her looking and arched a perfect, dark brow at her. Myfanwy dropped her eyes back to the piano and watched as Teddy began to play a softer version of her favorite song. The peppy, upbeat song that had been her teenaged anthem was now a slow, mournful sound. The cheerful mask of the music fell away leaving the haunting lyrics raw and bleeding in the open. 

_"I don't belong in pieces_   
_It's all me and I'm just like you_   
_Wants and needs and desires_   
_We're not just a puppet waiting for your cue."_

Myfanwy groaned and put her face in her hands. The song cut out and Gestalt wrapped their arms around her. 

"What happened?" 

Myfanwy dropped her hands and leaned her head against Teddy's chest. "I'm a complete idiot." 

"What?" Gestalt laughed. 

"That's what you meant the night you took me home. When you said your EVA was obvious if I just looked a bit closer at your lyrics." 

Gestalt laughed again. Teddy pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "The whole idea was that I could write whatever I want in my lyrics and as long as the beat was catchy, no one would notice. And even if they did notice, they'd have no idea what it meant." 

Myfanwy sighed and shook her head. "Such an idiot...." 

"Watch it," Gestalt warned. 

Myfanwy looked over at Eliza curiously. 

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about." 

Myfanwy grinned and slipped back onto Teddy's lap. "Are you going to punish me?" 

"You guys are the worst people to be around. And I really mean that." Monica slapped her book shut and stood from her armchair. Myfanwy watched her walk down the hallway to her room and slam the door. 

Gestalt pressed their lips to her neck before sighing heavily. "Alright, tell me." 

Myfanwy looked over at Robert while Teddy dragged a line of kisses across her collarbone. "What?" 

"I know something's on your mind. I can see it." 

She dropped her eyes and curled her fingers into Teddy's hair. She chewed at the inside of her bottom lip as she thought. There was something on her mind, but she wasn't planning on letting it out. At least, not now. 

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." 

Teddy picked their head up from her chest and caught her eyes. "Tell me." 

Myfanwy twisted her mouth up in deliberation. "I want to go home. To London. I miss my flat and my job and Ingrid and Bron. I know we have to wait for the all clear, but I'm just feeling a little homesick. That's all." 

Teddy pet his hand softly down her face before settling it on the crook of her neck. "We can go home. We could have gone home anytime you asked. You aren't being held captive." 

Eliza knelt beside her. "I promised you I would never do that again." 

"But what about Bristol?" 

They scooped her hands up in theirs. "We don't have to go back just yet. If you aren't ready." 

Myfanwy shook her head firmly. "No. Andrew Bristol does not get to control my life." She squeezed their hands firmly. "Not anymore." 

Gestalt kissed her hands and her cheek. "There's a flight out of JFK at six tonight or ten tomorrow morning." 

"That's soon." 

"Do you prefer to wait?" 

Myfanwy leaned into Teddy's broad chest and played with Eliza's fingers. "We can leave tonight. I'm just worried we won't have enough time to pack." 

Gestalt grinned. "The benefits of being me include the ability to pack a suitcase, clean out the refrigerator, notify Monica of the change in plans, all while having a body free to... keep you company." Teddy's hips rolled up against her. 

Myfanwy turned on their lap until she was straddling them. "I'll bet I can put a damper on your productivity." 

Gestalt chuckled as they began to move to their self-assigned tasks. "Let's see which of us can finish first."

* * *

It was a relief to be home again. The moment she stepped foot outside Heathrow, she felt lighter. There was a comfort in going home. In being in her own space. She suspected Gestalt felt it, too. Even if the New York flat was technically their home also. She could see they were happy to be back in London. 

They went straight to her place. She was eager to wear something from her closet that hadn't been in and out of a suitcase for a month. Her eyes darted around the street for any sign of Bristol as she unlocked her front door. Gestalt and Monica formed a psuedo-shield around her. Myfanwy tried to think of a time when she'd ever felt so safe and well protected. 

Bronwyn did her best. She knew that. Her little sister had waltzed around acting like a one man army for most of her life. Still, there were things even Bronwyn was incapable of. She was one person, but the Checquy and the Vultures were many. Now, they were many. They were Teddy, Alex, Eliza, Robert, Monica, Marcus, Bronwyn, Ingrid, and Conrad. Myfanwy even felt secure enough to count herself among their ranks. She'd begun to feel more and more comfortable utilizing her EVA. Maybe not enough to weaponize it just yet, but she was starting to understand how it worked. The way it moved and reacted within her. 

The walk up the stairs felt relaxing in its familiarity. She unlocked the door to her apartment and froze in the entryway. Every dish she owned was dirtied and stacked in the kitchen. Every surface was covered with takeaway boxes and trash. There were beer bottles and soda cans. A horrible odor filled the place. 

"What. The. Fuck?" She uttered. 

Someone rolled off the couch onto the floor. They stood slowly and tossed the blanket off. Myfanwy recognized Marcus from the back of the limousine months ago. He blinked at them as if he didn't recognize them. 

"What the fuck is right," Monica said, moving around her and stomping towards her boyfriend. "I thought you were meant to be keeping an eye out for a sexual predator." 

"Hey, honey," Marcus greeted. "How was your trip?" 

Someone tripped down the hall behind her. "Ah, you're back!" 

"I think an explanation is in order, Conrad," Gestalt said. 

Conrad nodded. "Right. I was going to call today and book a flight back for you at the end of the week. You have that festival next week. One day commitment, remember? And after that, we were going to look into a new flat for Miss Thomas, here." 

Myfanwy looked between the crowd of people gathered in her small flat. "Where's my sister?" 

Conrad grimaced and glanced back down the hallway. Myfanwy shoved past him and pushed the guest room door open. The bed was slept in, but certainly not by her sister. She continued down the hall for her bedroom. Myfanwy twisted the handle and swept into the room. 

A woman sat bolt upright. Her hair was a bright array of cool colors that stuck up all over her head. She was completely naked. The woman blinked blearily at Myfanwy. "Who the hell are you?" The woman asked, making no attempt to cover her nude body. 

"This is _ my _ apartment. Who the hell are _ you _?" Myfanwy snapped. 

Bronwyn shifted in the bed and turned her head towards Myfanwy. She cracked her eyes open. "Mm, few minutes, Mum." 

"I am _ not _ Mom, but you'd better explain why the hell my flat looks like a tornado swept through it." 

Bronwyn groaned and stretched before sitting up. She was just as naked as the stranger beside her. "What are you doing here?" 

"Once again, I remind you that this is _ my _ place." 

Bronwyn stood and reached her hands up over her head. "Mhm, but you're supposed to be in New York. Or wherever the hell it was you were. Marcus said you went camping." 

"Bronwyn, why the hell is my flat a pigsty?" 

Her sister grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top off the ground. 

"I thought your name was Brittney?" The stranger said. 

Myfanwy glared at her. "I'm sure you're a lovely person, but would you kindly get the fuck out of my flat?" 

Bronwyn met Myfanwy's eyes coldly. She turned and patted the stranger's thigh. "Sorry, she gets a little worked up sometimes. I'll call you later." 

The stranger picked a dress off the hope chest at the end of Myfanwy's bed and slipped it on. Myfanwy stepped to the side as she passed. Once alone, Myfanwy crossed her arms and glowered at her sister. 

"Don't look at me like that. I've been cooped up in your shitty flat for weeks on end. The pervy shrink never showed. Besides, you weren't even supposed to be here. If you'd called we could have cleaned the place up." Bronwyn stepped around her and started down the hall. 

"Well, I'm glad you managed to have a wonderful vacation despite the drawbacks," Myfanwy bit out. 

"Vacation? _ You're _the one that got to go on vacation. I spent the past month holed up here with these two fuckwits." She gestured to Marcus and Conrad. "The least you could've done was leave Monica. The two of us could have had some fun while we waited around for your no show." 

"She's taken," Marcus grumbled. 

Monica held her hand up to her boyfriend. "No, no. Let her finish." 

Bronwyn winked at Monica. 

"Great. How about explaining why you couldn't take the fucking trash out or bother to do the dishes?" 

Bronwyn shrugged. "Wasn't a priority." 

Myfanwy was seething. She threw her hands up and spun on her heel heading back for her bedroom. It wasn't as though she had told them they couldn't leave the flat. And not all of them needed to stay there the whole time. They could have taken shifts. Whatever Bronwyn said, Myfanwy did not trap them there. 

She ripped the sheets off her bed and tossed everything at her hamper which was unsurprisingly full. Evidently, Bronwyn had made use of her wardrobe while she was there. Myfanwy found a clean set of sheets and took her spare comforter out of the hope chest. It didn't match her décor, but at least it was clean. Bronwyn had gotten what looked like pizza sauce all over her other one. 

She was just calming down when there was a knock at her door. "Not in the mood." 

The door opened anyway. "I've sent everyone else home. Or... I had them leave. Does your sister have a home to go to?" 

"Who the hell cares?" Myfanwy muttered. 

Eliza wrapped their arms around Myfanwy's waist and settled their chin on her shoulder. "I know you're upset. I'm sorry. I've already spoken to Conrad about it and I'm pretty sure Monica is equally pissed at Marcus." 

Myfanwy took a slow breath and settled her hands on Eliza's arms. "I should never have left. It was an overreaction." 

Eliza pressed her lips into Myfanwy's shoulder. "Maybe, but I had fun. And now you've seen my place in New York. Just three more and you've seen them all." 

Myfanwy smiled to herself. "You're very good at this." 

"At what?" 

Myfanwy turned in their arms and tucked her hands into their hair. "Distracting me." 

Eliza grinned. "This is nothing." They grabbed her hips and pushed her backwards onto the bed. Myfanwy giggled as they crawled up her body and dropped a light peck on her lips. "Allow me to demonstrate a _ true _distraction." 


	27. Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy and Gestalt are separated again.

Myfanwy was alone for the weekend. Okay. She was alone for thirty-six hours. And not really alone since Bronwyn was back in her guest room. She was without Gestalt for the next thirty-six hours.

Not that she minded.

Not at all.

But if she went over to their penthouse that Friday night just to feel close to them that was just a small concession. And if she considered jumping the next flight to Berlin to surprise them at the festival, those were just wayward thoughts. They didn't need to know just how obsessed she was with them. How six months of chaos didn't overshadow her incessant need to see them all the time.

She slept in their bed that night just to be able to wake up to the smell of them. She couldn't hide her disappointment in the morning. And she didn't want to. She helped herself to a pair of Eliza's jeans and one of Alex's hoodies before she left for the day.

The key was distraction. She needed to keep herself busy so she didn’t have time to think about the  four body gap that surrounded her. They promised her it was the last concert of the year. They'd told Conrad they were taking a break from touring for the foreseeable future. They wanted time to spend with Myfanwy and time to work on and record the songs they'd been writing since they'd met her.

Apparently, Myfanwy had inspired a whole album in just the six months they had been together. She couldn't decide if she was flattered or embarrassed. She had spent more than half her life trying to be as plain and uninteresting as possible. To fade into the background and be completely forgettable. Nobody would accuse her of being a closet EVA if nobody remembered who she was.

The buzzing in her pocket gave her a reprieve from her Gestalt thoughts. She fished out her phone and answered.

"Hello."

"You could at least call to say you won't be home, you know," Bronwyn snapped. "We spent a month and a half keeping an eye out for your pedophile psychologist."

"Give it a rest. If you stayed at your own place you wouldn't even notice." Myfanwy ducked into a shop to browse for a while.

Bronwyn sighed heavily on the other end. "I don't understand how people keep thinking  _ you're  _ the smart one."

"Excuse me?"

"Just promise me you'll be back home tonight. I worry."

Myfanwy slid a hanger across a metal bar to look at a shirt she had no intention of buying. "I will be. I'll even pick up kebabs if you want."

"In that case, you're forgiven." 

She hung up and continued meandering through the store. After around half an hour, she ended up buying a pack of gum and shuffling on down the street. Myfanwy kept moving and browsing and doing whatever she could to distract herself with mindless activities. The last thing she wanted was to sit still.

It was vaguely similar to how they had wandered about New York City. Almost aimless. When the sun started to set, Myfanwy made her way back towards her flat. She stopped off and bought kebabs for her and her sister knowing the hell that would be rained down if she forgot.

The loiterers had widely scattered after a while. Just a few people were walking down the street. The kebabs made it a bit difficult for her to get into her purse after her keys. Out of the blue, she felt someone suddenly behind her.

Before she could turn around, their arms were around her. Their hand was shoving a dirty rag against her face. She could taste the bitterness of whatever was on the fabric as it was shoved against her mouth. Her head filled with an awful buzzing. The kebabs fell from her hands.

_ Bron is going to be so upset. I promised her kebabs. _

Her body went limp. Her vision black.

* * *

Gestalt had been dragged away from Myfanwy for an entire weekend. Conrad reminded them every five minutes that they had agreed to this festival before they'd even met Myfanwy. For the past week, they had tried to convince Myfanwy to take off from work and go with them.

They had to deal with the fact that they very obviously loved her more than she loved him. They also needed to work to keep their damn near obsession with her under wraps. They didn't want her to get scared or intimidated and decide to break up with them again. They did not handle that with the most grace.

They were headlining the second day of the  three day festival. They usually loved festivals. It was the most convenient opportunity to both entertain and be entertained. They had quick and easy access to their musical peers. Admittedly, it used to be the perfect place to mingle in the past. Before Myfanwy. There was only one person they wanted to mingle with nowadays. And she refused to take that Friday off from work to make the trip.

They were understanding. Or trying to be. Myfanwy Thomas had had a  life long before they had scooped her up off the floor of their dressing room and fallen heads long in love. They were the ones that had been sleeping. Years and years spent pretending to happy. Pretending life was all they wanted.

"I heard you'd be here!" 

They looked up to see Kitty Lane waltz into their tent with a wide grin. Monica held up a hand before she could plop down beside their Teddy body. She looked over her shoulder at them and arched a brow in question. Gestalt lifted a shoulder and dropped it in resignation.

Kitty leaned toward Teddy eagerly. "I've been calling, you know."

"Been away."

Kitty slumped on the armrest and jutted her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout. "You could at least have the courtesy of a phone call."

Gestalt nodded and continued tuning the bass for rehearsal. Kitty shot a look over at Monica. The rest of their bodies were tucked away in their trailer. They wrestled their Eliza body into the tight, leather bodice for the performance. Ready to give a secondary performance if needed.

"Maybe I should go see your brother. At least one Gestalt knows what a relationship is," Kitty threatened.

"What?" They finally looked up at her. She was wearing an oversized zip-up hoodie concealing her stage attire. Or lack thereof. Make-up was caked heavily on her face. 

Kitty looked up at the canopy with an annoyingly coy smile on her bloodred lips. "Robert? He's supposedly dating that nobody. In about fifty tabloids. There was an article in the  _ Rolling Stones  _ wondering just where she came from and how she managed to catch his eye. She's pretty plain if I'm honest."

Gestalt gritted their teeth. "Watch it."

Kitty's eyes landed back on theirs. Surprise lit behind them. " _ You  _ don't like her, too. Do you?"

They cleared their throats. "She's a good girl. Far from plain. That's for damn sure."

Kitty turned in her seat. "Oh, now I've just  _ got  _ to meet this girl!"

Gestalt shifted in their seat, hunkering down further. "You're out of luck."

She frowned. "She didn't come?"

Gestalt slammed out of their trailer with their Eliza body. Kitty looked up and shrank back as they strode over and poured a glass of whiskey for  themself . They turned around and took a sip, eyeing Kitty hard.

She cleared her throat and pushed a smile onto her face. "Eliza! How've you been?"

"Worse, now you're here."

Standard procedure. If Gestalt used a second body to play bad cop when the fun was over, it spared a whole lot of pain. They just needed to be sure the fun understood. Eliza was almost always bad cop. Although, Teddy was a close second. 

"No need to be rude," Kitty muttered. "I came by to see Teddy."

They cocked their head at her. "You’ve seen him."

Kitty stood from the chair and crossed her arms over herself. "Maybe the real trick with that plain girl is that she can put up with  _ you _ ."

Alex and Robert grinned broadly in the safety of their trailer.

"Is she just unattractive enough that you don't see her as a threat, dear Liza?" Kitty sneered.

Gestalt gave her a relaxed smile with daggers behind the eyes. "Myfanwy is a million times more beautiful than you could ever hope to be. And she doesn't have to strut around half naked on a stage to prove it."

"Myfanwy? Even her name is ugly." Kitty let out a final huff and stomped from the tent. Just before Gestalt did  something they knew they'd regret.

They downed their drink and sat down in the now vacant seat. Monica was staring at them wordlessly. 

"What?" They demanded in both present voices.

Monica raised her brows and leaned back. "You don't realize what you just did?"

Gestalt shrugged indifferently. Telling off a diva was the least of their worries.

Monica shook her head and gestured after the princess. "You just gave up her name. Just how many Myfanwy's do you think live in London? And how long do you think it will be before the whole world knows everything about her?"

Gestalt's four stomachs dropped. They were idiots. Complete morons.

"I'll make sure Kitty doesn't say anything. It's fine." They nodded to themselves. They could do that. They'd be fine. Everything would be fine.

Their set was finished by eleven thirty. They'd spoken to Kitty who seemed bored by the whole affair. She'd promised not to breathe a word about Myfanwy's name so long as Teddy gave her a call when they returned to London. They could manage a call.

Their phone rang. Robert's phone rang, at least. They frowned at Bronwyn's name. They'd been expecting a different Thomas sister.

"Hello?"

"Why the  _ fuck  _ don't you ever answer your goddamn phone?" Bronwyn screeched.

Gestalt frowned and held the phone an inch away from their ear. "I was playing a show. What do you need?"

"She's gone."

Gestalt's stomach dropped. "Who's gone? What do you mean?"

"Myfanwy! She's gone! She was supposed to bring home dinner, but she was late getting back. After my calls kept going to  voicemail I went to look for her."

"Did you try my place?" Gestalt was trying to maintain an ounce of calm that was quickly rushing away from them. They snapped for Conrad and Monica to follow them to the car. They'd have someone send their things back later.

"I was  _ going  _ there, but then.... I found her phone." Bronwyn sucked in a shaky breath. That undid them entirely. Bronwyn never cried. Not ever. Yelled, screamed, pitched a bitch fit, yes.  _ Cry _ ? Something was very wrong. Something had happened to their Myfanwy.

"I'm on my way. Call Marcus."

"I already fucking did," she snapped.

"We're going to find her. She's going to be fine."

"She fucking better be, you assholes. This is all your fault."

* * *

Myfanwy's ears were ringing. She brought her hands up to rubbed her eyes only to find that she couldn't. Her eyes popped open. Her hands were bound to the sides of a glass box. Her feet were similarly bound to the bottom of it. Three small holes were drilled into the front over her mouth to allow her to breathe.

"Help!" She tried, but it came out as more of a whoosh of air. She sucked in a breath and tried again with no success.

Near as she could tell, she was alone. The room was small. Not as small as her glass coffin, but not very much bigger either. A single, yellow bulb overhead served as the only source of light. She could barely make-out the outline of a door in the hazy glow.

It was quiet. A slow dripping sounded from somewhere. The echo made it difficult to place.

Myfanwy felt an uneasy dread settle low in the pit of her stomach. All of her nightmares had pit her back in that blindingly white room in the  Checquy . If that had been where she'd wound up, she might have taken a comfort for it. In the familiarity of the nightmare. This place was entirely new. Something she didn't know, but knew wasn't good all at once. None of her worst nightmares had prepared her for this.

"Transdermal neurotransmission?" A man's voice asked from beyond the door. A metal plate slid back and an old man's face appeared cast in shadows. Beady eyes squinted at her. "An eight? And you caught her with a bit of chloroform? Put her in at a four. Get her sold before someone recognizes her."

Another face appeared in the square gap where the plate belonged. A woman's face. Pinched, but elegant. She smirked at Myfanwy in an almost knowing way before sliding the plate back and leaving Myfanwy alone in her glass coffin.


	28. Destined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy is captured by Vultures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fourth attempt at this chapter. I had to stop myself from rewriting again. On to the next bit!!

Sunbeams dropped lazily through the wide windows of the penthouse. Myfanwy had her head on an armrest as she lay across Teddy and Alex's laps. Alex was massaging one foot while Eliza worked at the other. Robert was draped across an armchair barely a foot from her head. Their hand played idly with her hair.

"Do you remember the sunrise in Yellowstone?" She murmured distractedly. A period drama of some sort was playing on Gestalt's projector.

"Distantly," they affirmed. "I was somewhat preoccupied."

Myfanwy smiled and shut her eyes. She felt like a cloud. Completely peaceful. She could drop away into nothing and be completely unfazed by it.

"It was dark and still and quiet for so long. There wasn't even a moon that night. Then the sun came up through the mountains and cast everything in this warm, orangey glow and changed everything. Birds started singing and everything started moving. It happened so slowly and unexpectedly that I didn't even realize that's what was going on. I was just so consumed by the beauty of the sunrise."

Teddy leaned down and kissed her cheekbone. She reached up to toy with a mischievous curl that had escaped their careful grooming.

"That was us. I was the moonless night and you were the sunrise waking me back up," she confessed. 

Teddy grinned broadly at her. A very Alex-y grin. Goofy and lopsided. "I think that's the cheesiest thing you've ever said to me."

Myfanwy flushed and turned her face away.

Four Gestalts chuckled in time. A perfect harmony. Teddy grabbed her chin and pulled her face back around to kiss her. Myfanwy sealed her lips together and jerked her head away. Gestalt let out a breathy laugh.  So Myfanwy sat up and crossed her arms over her chest.

Eliza moved to kneel in front of her. They took her hands up in theirs, bringing them to their lips to kiss them. "I was moonless, too."

Myfanwy let herself smile again. She leaned down and caught up Eliza's mouth with her own. Movie all but forgotten.

* * *

The heavy, metal door swung open and a large man came in with a hand truck. He moved her glass cage onto it and wheeled her out into an ominously dark hallway. She couldn't understand how she was still together enough to pay attention to her surroundings. Enough to hatch escape plan after escape plan.

None of which would actually lead to her escape. Which is why she stayed still in her cage despite the voice in her head yelling at her to take any opportunity she could to get free.

She was set down in a blindingly white room. There were very little furnishings in the room. A chair with restraints sat against the far wall in front of a camera on a tripod. Behind them and nearest the door was a desk with three computer monitors on it and a man with a headset on seated in a very comfortable looking office chair.

Flashbacks to her room at the  Checquy came back with a vengeance. Things she'd worked very hard to forget. And more that she'd forgotten without any effort. Eyes watching her from everywhere all the time. Except when she needed them to look. To see what was happening. They only turned away when she needed them.

She remembered seeing a girl with white hair through a round window. She wasn't much older than she had been. Her eyes were sharp and assessing. Whoever she was looked like someone in charge. Myfanwy caught her eyes and held them. The girl looked curiously at her.

_ "I want to go home _ !" Myfanwy demanded.

The girl's fair brows knit together as if she didn't speak English. Didn't understand what it was she was saying. The girl leaned forward and Myfanwy's heart lurched. They were going to do it. They were going to let her out. Free her.

The girl's head snapped to the side. Her blonde hair flared out dramatically. As if she were doing an ad for hair products. Her mouth moved, but Myfanwy couldn't hear what she was saying. The girl glanced back at her. Myfanwy pressed her lips together into a tight line.

The blonde girl frowned at her and walked away. Myfanwy was left alone again. Alone in the blinding whiteness of her room. Alone to be set upon by the worst kind of monster. Man.

Myfanwy shoved those memories away. She knew she needed to focus. Hard as it was, she had no choice. She couldn't space out. She couldn't fall into an episode and let these people do whatever they wanted with her. She had to keep herself together. Nobody else would do it for her.

A woman came forward wielding a very large needle on a very long stick. Myfanwy pressed herself as far away from the  foreboding device as her tiny cage would allow. Clearly, not enough as the needle was jabbed into her neck.

She felt the effects immediately. A sluggish feeling came over her. As if she weren't entirely connected to her body anymore. The door to her cage was opened and she was pulled over to the chair. She watched passively as the large man that had fetched her strapped her to the chair.

_ You should be fighting,  _ a small voice nudged at the back of her mind. But she couldn't fight. She could hardly hold her head upright.

"Are we ready?" The man behind the desk asked.

The woman nodded curtly. She looked  fearsome . Powerful. But much less scary than she had seemed through the slate in her door.

The man cleared his throat and tapped a button at his computer. "Here we have lot number two-two-seven-two. If you remember the  Checquy disaster, this little gem might be of particular interest to you. Transdermal neurotransmission has awarded this EVA an eight ranking. Don't miss out. We'll start the bidding at two million pounds."

Myfanwy blinked hard.  _ They're auctioning me off. _ She knew that was the goal from the moment she woke up in her cage. Somehow, actually hearing them bid on her, she found herself more pissed off than anything else.

"We've got forty million from China. Forty million. Do I hear Forty-five?" The auctioneer rambled.

If only her body wasn't so distant from her. What she wouldn't give to have three to spare. As it stood, she was completely useless.

"Sold for sixty million to North Korea."

Myfanwy's stomach dropped. The large man from earlier came back to untie her  restraints and stuff her back in her glass cage. Before she was wheeled away, the woman came back with another scary looking needle. 

She didn't remember the trip back to her closet.

* * *

"I know this place," she said aloud.

Robert grabbed her hand and led her through the wrought iron gates. "It's a  cemetery . They all look the same."

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. They were on edge. They were always on edge when something was upsetting them. Just being in the graveyard was enough to sour their mood. They'd been cheerier on the drive over.

It was a long, winding walk. Myfanwy wondered how long it had been since they'd been to see their friend's grave. They seemed lost. The silence was becoming deafening.

"Tell me another story about him," she asked. They hadn't told her much. Which said just about all it needed to. Just his name brought about a distressed look in their eyes. Too much grief for even four bodies to handle.

Robert fixed her with a tight smile. More like gritting their teeth than reassuring her. "He was older than us. Only a year, but as a kid that one year made all the difference. He was a healer. 'Molecular manipulator' according to the  Checquy . He could make your body fix itself in seconds rather than days. Reverse even severe damage. So long as it was recent. If your body had already started healing  itself he couldn't do anything more.

"I guess he had a little sister that had gotten hit by a car when she was around five or so. She was in the hospital for months in a chemically induced coma. When she finally woke up again, she was paralyzed from the waist down. Will tried to fix her spine, but nothing changed. He never forgave himself for that even though it wasn't his fault.

"That was the sort of guy Will was. Always shouldering the blame for everything. Even things he had no control over. He was a perfectionist – like me – and always gave everything he had into everything he did. I think that's why we got along so well. We understood each other."

They stopped at a gravestone beneath a copse of trees. Myfanwy looked around. Her brow furrowed. She had real, distinct memories of that place. She looked down at the grave as Gestalt set the flowers they'd brought in front of the clean stone. It was clearly received a lot of visitors.

Myfanwy started as she read the name on the stone.  _ David William Woodhouse _ . Her mouth fell open. She connected the story about Will trying to fix his paralyzed sister with what Ingrid had told her years ago. She remembered the cemetery because she'd come with Ingrid every year on her brother's birthday.

Myfanwy was hard pressed to call any one of Gestalt's songs her favorite. Ingrid, on the other hand, loved the last song on their second studio album. She hadn't heard it until after they'd known each other for a few years. After Myfanwy shared her secret with her.

"She'd freak if she knew," she uttered.

"Hm?" Gestalt looked down at her from Robert's green eyes. "Who would?"

"Ingrid," Myfanwy tried to unglue her mouth from the roof of her mouth.

"Why?"

She nodded at the headstone. "Her favorite song is really about him."

Gestalt frowned between her and the grave. "Why would that make her freak?"

Myfanwy looked up at them. "It's never occurred to me that you don't know her full name." She glanced down at the stone and back to Robert's eyes. "Ingrid Gloria... Woodhouse."

Robert's face fell into deeper confusion. "Woodhouse?"

Myfanwy nodded at the stone. "David was her brother. The little sister that he couldn't heal was Ingrid."

Gestalt's arms encircled her waist. They put their nose in her hair and breathed deeply. A few minutes passed in silence. Gestalt pressed a kiss to her cheek and leaned their forehead against her temple.

"I wonder in just how many ways you and I are connected." They pulled her hand up with one of theirs and twined their fingers together. "It's anybody's guess how it took us so long to find each other."

Myfanwy turned in their arms and buried her face in their shoulder. "As if we needed any more signs from the universe."

Robert let out a great sigh. She pulled back to look at them quizzically.

"What?"

They shook their head. "I really didn't have any choice in the matter, did I?"

Myfanwy narrowed her eyes at them. "Hey, I was perfectly content in my life before Ingrid coerced me into a crowded bar on my birthday."

Gestalt twisted their mouth up in thought. "I wasn't."

Myfanwy tilted her head. "You weren't?"

They shook their head. "I was ready to give it all up." They shrugged. "Music wasn't the same anymore. I hadn't written a new song in almost five years before you showed up."

Myfanwy looked down at the yellow daisies on David William  Woodhouse's grave. "We're meant to be together."

Gestalt pressed a firm kiss into her hair. "And we always will be," they swore.

* * *

Myfanwy woke in her glass cage in the back of a van. She was alone as far as she could tell. Her body was coming back to her. The effects of whatever drug they'd given her was wearing off. Her body was waking up. 

The familiar current that was so tame and docile with Gestalt was suddenly charging across her skin. Licking at the air like sparks from a flame.

She was suddenly feeling very alive.

Very dangerous.

And very pissed off.


	29. Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt and company try to rescue Myfanwy. No one said love was easy.

" _ We're meant to be together." _

_ "And we always will be." _

They were idiots. Worse than idiots they were buffoons. Morons. Disgraceful to the very name of love. How could they let this happen? No gig was more important than Myfanwy. How could they leave her when they knew she'd been recognized by someone from the  Checquy ? How could they not put a private bodyguard on her at all times no matter what she said to protest it?

Bronwyn was pacing their penthouse. She'd walked out onto the balcony a few times and Gestalt genuinely worried the girl might jump. Each time, she came back inside and resumed her pacing. Monica, Marcus, and Conrad were on the phone with various contacts Marcus had made over the years. Everyone was looking for Myfanwy.

Gestalt had started out making calls with them. Four extra bodies and all. After the second set of calls, Monica ripped the list from their hands and ordered them out of the kitchen. As if it were their fault the contacts were being unhelpful. 

Bronwyn reached one end of the penthouse and stopped. She turned suddenly and swung her right leg out at their display of guitars. All six guitars crashed to the ground letting out stinging cries of agony.

"FUCKING BULLSHIT!" Bronwyn snarled before storming back out to the balcony.

Alex and Robert moved over to assess the damage. Two of the guitars were worth a million. The cheapest one cost a quarter of that. Their favorite, a striking black Fender, was now cracked at the neck and chipped on the headstock. The A and D strings had snapped. Gestalt pulled out their spare guitar strings and started fixing what they could.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Bronwyn screeched, stomping back inside. "My sister goes missing and you're sitting there fixing up your guitars?"

"What the fuck else do you expect me to be doing? I don't know where she is! If I did, I wouldn't be here, would I?" Gestalt snapped back.

Bronwyn crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't think you'll intimidate me just because you have more voices than I have. I'll kick all four of your asses."

"And you pacing around here throwing a tantrum is helping find Myfanwy how?" 

Bronwyn flung her hands down. " _ She was perfectly safe before you had to come along and fuck everything up _ !"

"Fine?" Gestalt hovered over her in Teddy's body. "She was cutting herself. She was depressed. She was lonely. I'd hardly call that fine."

"She wasn't missing! She wasn't stolen off the streets! Her picture wasn't plastered everywhere!"

"SHUT UP!" Monica screamed. She put her hands on her hips and glared between them. "All this bickering is doing the opposite of helping us track Myfanwy. Stop acting like children. This was nobody's fault. The only thing we can do now is get her back."

Gestalt pressed their lips together. They knew Monica was right, but all their rage and anxiety and need to  _ do something  _ was building up in their bodies. They were stretched on a wire. 

"You're sure?" Marcus stood up and moved over to stand beside Monica, phone still pressed to his ear. "It's going to have to be. Thank you."

Monica turned to him as he put the phone down. Gestalt held all four breaths.

"One of my contacts says they saw  two men taking a woman matching Myfanwy's description into a van. Looked government issued. They think she's in  Glengrove which might be why we can't find her."

"Great.  So, what do we do? How do we get her out of there?" Bronwyn asked, her entire demeanor changing instantly.

Marcus scratched the back of his head. "First, we'd have to  figure out how to get inside."

"I could go," Monica said. "Show off my super powers a little too publicly. Get picked up and taken inside. Find Thomas and break us both out." 

"Absolutely not," Marcus said almost before she finished speaking.

"I still have a couple contacts inside," Conrad said from the kitchen. "I don't have much pull with them anymore, but maybe I could get inside long enough to take a look."

Marcus chewed at his cheek in thought. "That could work."

"I'm going," Gestalt declared, using all four of their voices for emphasis.

All eyes turned to them.

"You can't," Conrad argued. "Think about what would happen if the world found out you were EVAs."

"Think about what  Glengrove would do to make sure they kept a hold of you this time," Monica added.

Gestalt shook their heads. "I don't care. If Myfanwy's in there, I'm getting her out."

"Gestalt –"

"I'm doing this, Conrad."

The penthouse was quiet for a few moments. Everyone seemed to be trying to think of anything that might get Myfanwy back without sacrificing any of them. 

"Alright," Marcus sighed. "How do we do this?"

* * *

"You don't think the name calling was a bit much?" Gestalt whined as they stared down at the headlines.

_ Closet EVAs? Source close to the rock group claims their all 'freaks'. _

_ GESTALT SIBLING 'MIND LINK' _

_ THE GESTALT ARE ALL LOONS _

_ ARE THEY EVEN HUMAN? _

Twenty-seven tabloids had Gestalt's secret splashed flagrantly across the front page. Some stories went into more depth than others. Some added blatant lies to 'spice up' the story. Because secretly being a single person wasn't interesting enough, apparently. It took twenty-four hours for the story to go global. Twenty-four hours that Myfanwy had to spend locked up in some godforsaken place. Alone. Scared.

She was probably curled up as she had been on her couch months earlier after their first fight. They could still see that haunted look on her face as clearly as if she were still sitting in front of them. They could hear her small voice pleading with them. ' _ I want to go home.' _

What those freaks could do to her when she was so fragile and vulnerable made them murderous. Maybe they'd take a page out of the young Myfanwy's playbook and set the whole site ablaze. It wouldn't have the same effect as it had the first time. The juvenile EVAs files were all digitized. No more lost EVAs. But it would force them to forgo hunting while a new building was established.

Twenty-seven hours after the story broke, two agents from  Glengrove showed up at their building. They pressed the intercom button at the front door. Gestalt stared at them through the  surveillance feed. Non-descript, ordinary looking people. Then again, Myfanwy looked ordinary, too.

"Can I help you?" Eliza's voice asked, sweetly.

"We'd like to speak with you."

Gestalt scowled at them though they couldn't see it. "I'm listening."

The agents stared straight into the camera. "Inside, if you don't mind."

"And if I do mind?"

One of the agents reached into the inside pocket of their jacket and withdrew a piece of paper. They held it up to the camera. "We have a warrant."

Gestalt frowned at the paper. Clearly official. It had been the goal in letting out their secret. They still found themselves annoyed. They'd been too young the first time they'd been taken to the  Checquy , but they had to wonder if their parents had been presented with a similar paper. Before their children were snatched from them.

"Funny. I don't remember doing anything illegal," they quipped.

"We can talk about it inside," the agents insisted.

Gestalt considered arguing further. Just to test them. Or annoy them. They had to remember Myfanwy. Poor, sweet Myfanwy. Scared and alone in their nightmare facility. They hit the button to let the two agents up.

They made sure to greet them with all four bodies. They knew they needed to be just uncomfortably similar enough that they were taken to  Glengrove . Not weird enough to make them wonder if it was all some ploy because how could an EVA escape their detection under constant spotlight? 

"Good afternoon," the smaller agent greeted Eliza.

"Hello," they answered with two bodies.

Gestalt feigned embarrassment and led the pair to the couch. Their thoughts went back to the first night they'd had Myfanwy in their flat. How she'd looked so small, dwarfed by their massive couch.

"To what do we owe this visit, detectives?" Eliza asked politely. They used Teddy and Robert to fetch the agents bottles of water. They handed them over in effortlessly identical movements. They could already see the gears turning.

"We aren't the police," the older agent announced. "I believe you already know that."

Gestalt smiled politely. "I have no idea what you mean."

"We haven't committed any crimes," Alex reported.

"On the contrary, you've committed a very grave crime, indeed." The smaller, younger officer pulled out a  manilla folder from their briefcase and handed it to their partner. "Fifteen years ago, a government facility burned down. Many of the dangerous things inside escaped. Of course, we recaptured most of them, but a few got away. One of our veteran scientists remember a collective of children – quadruplets – that were just shy of becoming fully registered as EVAs." The officer plucked out an old, grainy photograph of their four bodies wearing standard issued  Checquy uniforms. "Failing to register as EVAs is a very serious crime."

Gestalt didn't realize any part of their files had survived the fire. Seeing the photograph of them as children was jarring. They almost forgot their plan as the instinct toward  self-preservation reared its head.

"This can go down one of two ways. The first way is that you come quietly back to  Glengrove with us and allow us to run full diagnostics before registering you as EVAs in the Crown's database. You'll stay at our facilities for one to two weeks and, if you are deemed harmless enough, you'll be released and allowed to return to your daily lives."

_ That's a lot of ifs. _

"Or, we can do this the hard way."

Gestalt wasn't in the habit of admitting to many flaws. Something they were still working at. One flaw they admitted and accepted was that they absolutely did  _ not  _ take kindly to threats. Of any sort.

They narrowed their eyes at the agents. "The 'Hard Way'?" They challenged. "You're outnumbered. Or haven't you realized?"

Something stuck into their hip. No. Hips. They reached down and grabbed the offending objects from their skin. Two bodies dropped to the floor. They could still feel them, but it was fuzzy. Like static on a radio stuck between stations. They were sluggish. Out of practice. Arrogant.

_ Huh. Suppose that's another flaw. _

The agents and their penthouse faded into inky blackness as two more  tranq darts landed in their remaining bodies.

_ This wasn't part of the plan.... _

* * *

They woke up feeling wrong. All wrong. They sat up and immediately understood why. They were in small, six by six cells. They were on single cots. And too much cement separated them. It was like waking up in their worst nightmare. They couldn't see their other bodies. Had no real sense of how far apart they were from themselves.

It felt like they were burning. Their brains were on fire. Overheating from how hard they were struggling to locate the rest of themselves in proximity to each body. They dropped to the floor and cradled their heads in their hands. They couldn't find themselves.  _ They couldn't find themselves! _

The pain was growing worse. Splitting their heads. They let out four identical screams, but only their own voices echoed back at each body. It was aching. Burning. Blinding. They wouldn't survive like this. They couldn't even remember why they'd let themselves be taken back.

Some time later, metal slid against stone and a tray of food appeared at their doors. They couldn't think of eating. They couldn't think of anything. They stood, eyes bleary with tears and pain, and struggled for their doors. Locked, of course. They slammed their fists against the metal and screamed until their voices were raw.

They fell asleep again after a while. A slight reprieve from the agony of their waking minds. They couldn't remember what day it was. They couldn't even identify which body was which. They were swiftly losing their sense of self. Losing their minds.

An hour, a day, a week, or a month later, a door opened for one of their bodies. Someone stepped inside. A white coat. They should have guessed. The woman was holding a clipboard. They wanted nothing more than to smash that clipboard over the woman's head.

"Alex, I have a few questions for you. Please answer to the best of your ability," the woman sat in a chair they hadn't realized was in the room. "Where were you born?"

They gritted their teeth. Fantasies of murdering the white coat danced through their minds. Painting the walls with the same red that was crashing and pounding in their heads.

"What are your siblings' names?" 

It would be so easy to kill her. So, so easy. All they had to was get to their feet.

Another door opened for another body. Another white coat entered another room. "Robert Gestalt, never thought I'd be face to face with a celebrity."

The voices were like glass to their eardrums. They wondered if they were causing the earthquake or if there was another EVA making the building shake. 

"We'll wait until you're in a more cooperative mood, I suppose." The white coats vanished through the walls. No. Doors. They were gone. Gestalt was still splitting. Breaking. Dying.

The rooms were still shaking. Stuttering. Trembling. They couldn't be doing that. They didn't have that sort of power. But they knew someone who did.

Their reason for being.

_ Myfanwy? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah.... Sorry?


	30. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy plays offense with her EVA. A mysterious man appears to help her.

The electricity that slithered over her skin would have scared her just a few months ago. She would have curled herself up into a ball and cried herself to sleep. Or gone into a fugue state and been completely immobile for an indeterminate amount of time. Her EVA was always something to fear. There were no upsides.

Not until Gestalt.

Where there was once only fear, Myfanwy now felt power. She felt strong. Brave. Powerful. She let the energy fill her belly and tighten into a ball. She focused on what she wanted to do just as she had when she was in bed with Gestalt. Instead of wringing a mind-blowing orgasm from her multi-bodied lover, she unleashed her power into the truck.

The engine let out a sound like a shotgun blast. The wheels  squealed against the road and the vehicle swung around. Myfanwy couldn’t decide if being able to see outside would be better or worse. She settled for bracing herself against her glass prison and waiting for impact. 

The truck slammed into something and the floor became the ceiling as it rolled. Myfanwy felt sick. She crashed against the roof and waited as the truck slid to a stop. The crash had been enough to crack the glass. Myfanwy twisted in her cage and set her bare feet on the cracked glass. She ground her teeth together as she pushed.

Two men were shouting at each other outside the truck she knew they were coming around to open the back. If she was still in the cage when they opened the door, the game was over. She took a deep breath and pulled up some leftover EVA to the bottom of her feet. The more she used, the more she had to work to find it. She wished she'd taken Bron up on her offer to find someone to train her.

The glass splintered further before breaking altogether. She pressed her lips together around a whimper as the glass sliced into her feet. She pushed past the pain and crawled out of the glass case to wait behind it for her captors.

The doors swung out revealing the two men in charge of transporting her to her new 'owners.' She enjoyed seeing their panicked looks as they found her prison empty. Her EVA came to her slowly, but it did come. She lunged forward and grabbed both men's forearms releasing a jolt into both of them temporarily stopping their hearts.

She grimaced as she landed in gravel. She sat on her butt and pulled off a pair of the men's boots. Her feet were still sliced to hell, but at least she wasn't going to do any more damage to them. Myfanwy stood in her borrowed boots. They were three sizes too big, but they'd work for the moment.

Myfanwy looked around. She wasn't sure where she was. She didn't know what day it was. The road they were on was deserted. Surrounded by trees on all sides. She decided to go back down the way she assumed they had come from, hoping there was a town or at the very least a stranger with a car and a phone.

She was bleeding through the boots. After about a mile, she stopped to pull them off and examine the soles of her feet better. She'd evidently taken part of her prison with her. She pulled out the larger pieces as best she could and tore the bottom of Alex's t-shirt to wrap them up before continuing down the road.

Headlights blinded her as they swung around a bend in the road. She held her hands up in desperations. She likely looked mad. She hadn't showered in who knows how long and she was covered in blood. The car slowed to look at her before speeding away. Myfanwy continued trudging up the road.

Cars grew more frequent after a while. Eventually, one pulled over to investigate. Unfortunately, it was in a language she didn't speak.

"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head, "I don't know what you're saying."

The driver frowned and her before turning and slapping the car they were driving. The passenger side door opened and a little girl stood out of it. She was maybe thirteen or fourteen. The driver hugged her close and whispered in the girl's ear.

"What happened to you?"

Myfanwy swayed on her feet. "I was in a car accident. I need a phone."

"You need a hospital," the girl corrected.

Myfanwy felt a tired smile pull at her mouth. She nodded. "That, too. But phone first."

The girl whispered something to her father in their native language. If she hadn't been so delirious, she might have been able to pinpoint it. As it was, she could barely hold herself upright.

The girl took out a mobile phone and handed it to her. "You can use mine. Get in. My father is going to take you to the hospital."

Myfanwy accepted the phone. "Thank you," she panted. She turned to the father. "Thank you."

The man nodded, still eyeing her wearily. He waved her into the car. Myfanwy sat down before dialing her sister's phone number.

It went straight to voicemail. Myfanwy cursed and dialed through Gestalt's phone numbers. No phones were answered. Myfanwy growled and dialed Bronwyn again. Over and over and over again. Her sister was going to answer her no matter what.

"Who the fuck is this?" Bronwyn demanded.

" _ Fuck's sake, Bronwyn _ !" Myfanwy screeched. "You complain about me not answering  _ my _ phone!"

"MYFANWY?" Bronwyn shouted. "Myfanwy, where are you? What happened?"

Myfanwy leaned forward and tapped the girl on the shoulder. "Where are we?"

The girl frowned at her. "Jaroslaw, Poland."

Myfanwy's stomach dropped. " _ Poland _ ?"

The girl nodded easily.

"Jaroslaw, Poland," she repeated to her sister.

"What are you in Poland for?" Bronwyn demanded.

Myfanwy shut her eyes and leaned against the back seat. "Thought it'd be a lovely spot for a vacation."

Bronwyn was quiet a moment. "Who are you with?"

Myfanwy shook her head. "I don't know. They're taking me to the hospital here."

"Hospital?"

"Mm."

"Alright. Give me ten hours. Don't leave the hospital."

"Mhm."

"Myfanwy?"

"Mm."

" Nevermind . I'll tell you when I see you."

"Ten hours."

"Ten hours."

"Love you, Bron."

The line was quiet a moment. "Love you, too."

Myfanwy hung up the phone and deleted the call history before handing the phone back to the girl. She thanked her again before sagging against the backseat again. Her whole body hurt in ways she seemed to have felt before.

* * *

"Hey!" 

Myfanwy flinched at the voice and tried to unpin herself from the rubble. Her arms were broken. She couldn't feel her legs. She was going to die. She knew she was going to die. This boy would probably finish the job.

The boy slipped down the toppled wall and crouched beside her. He scanned the area and the rubble she was trapped beneath.

"Alright. It's going to be alright. I need you to trust me." The boy had sweet, brown eyes. His voice was soothing. Nicer than any of the other voices she'd heard since coming to the Checquy.

The boy sat up straighter and called over his shoulder for somebody. A small girl with gray skin came over the ruins and stopped next to the boy. She couldn't have been more than five or six. Myfanwy couldn't decide if her skin was actually gray or if she was just covered in the dust in debris of the ruined building.

"Teddy's stuck, too," she reported.

Myfanwy swallowed back her anger.  Surely, she was more important than some stupid stuffed animal. The boy nodded seriously.

"Let's help her first and we'll go back for Teddy."

The little girl grabbed the largest chunk of rubble and hauled it away as easily as if she were picking up a piece of paper. Myfanwy let out a gasp as air filled her lungs so quickly it burned. The boy grabbed her sides and bowed his head to touch his forehead to hers.

"I'm sorry. This is going to hurt," he whispered.

Myfanwy had no clue what he was talking about. It already hurt. Then she did understand. It was as if he'd set her whole body on fire. She was being punished. She knew she was. All she wanted was to go home. To be safe. She didn't want to fight anymore. She  _ couldn't  _ fight anymore. She had no energy left in her body. She had nothing left in her body at all.

The burning agony seemed to go on for longer than she could count. Even when it started to  fade she could still feel it there. Just at the edges. She knew it would wait there forever. Wait until the scales tipped in its favor again so it could rush in and drown her in its unfathomable torment once again.

"You'll be alright," the boy's voice told her somewhere she couldn't care to see.

"We have to get the others," a little girl insisted.

"Will!" 

There were so many people. Too many people. And still that pain gnashed at the thin wire cage it had been locked in. Thrashing to get out again. Myfanwy opened a door somewhere inside herself. Somewhere that held nothing but darkness and in that  darkness she found safety. Relief.

* * *

Myfanwy opened her eyes as the car stopped. The hospital was littered with people even as late as it was. After midnight by the look on the car's clock. Myfanwy spared a wayward thought on wondering what the father and daughter were doing out so late, but didn't think too long or hard. She murmured  another thanks as she crawled out of the backseat and stumbled inside.

The lights were blinding after days in darkness. She didn't remember making it to the nurse's counter. The smooth  linoleum was suddenly beneath her hands as she sagged against it. She shut her eyes and shook her head at the Polish being shouted at her.

"English, please. Does anyone speak English?" 

"I speak English," someone said, "what happened?"

Myfanwy decided to stick with her half-truth. "Car accident. The truck flipped over."

Suddenly, she was sitting. Then lying down. She was vaguely aware of humming machinery and the murmured voices of the medical staff. Bronwyn had said ten hours. She was guessing that was down to nine by now. Maybe less.

The doctors stitched her up and wrapped her in bandages saying how lucky she had been to survive such a bad accident with the minor wounds she had. Myfanwy was just grateful to have an actual bed to sleep in for a few hours.

The sleep was short lived. Her whole body was on high alert. Every footstep that fell just a little too close to her room had her eyes snapping open. The click of the door sent her EVA coursing over her skin. She knew she wouldn't sleep peacefully until she was wrapped in Gestalt's arms.

A man entered her room. His hair was a soft, dusty brown. His eyes a warmer shade with a touch of honey in them. Eyes Myfanwy had seen before. She frowned at him as he checked her chart. He pressed his lips together as he stared at the monitor she was hooked up to.

"Of all the hospitals in all the world, you ended up half dead in front of me again." 

Myfanwy swallowed hard and locked her jaw. She didn't know I she had it in her to take him in a fight just then, but she wasn't going back in a glass cage. He looked at her at last and gave her a small smile.

"I'm not a Vulture if that's what you're thinking."

Myfanwy blinked. "Are you one of Bronwyn's friends?"

"Bronwyn?" His dark brows pulled together. "Don’t know them." He sat down on the doctor's stool. "I know the Vultures, though. They killed me once or twice."

Myfanwy wrinkled her nose at him. "Excuse me?"

The man let out a breathy chuckle. "I'm a surprisingly hard man to kill. My EVA is as much a blessing as it is a curse."

"You're an EVA?"

The man nodded. "Which is how I know you are, too. We met before. A long time ago. The first time I died, but didn't."

Myfanwy worked at her mouth as the gears spun in her head connecting the information. "You were at the Checquy."

"So were you."

There was a knock at her door. A nurse opened the door and spoke in rapid Polish to the mysterious doctor between shooting uncertain glances at Myfanwy. The man nodded and responded in that same low tone he used with her.

"Apparently you are a very  sought after woman. Four people are here looking for you."

Myfanwy's heart jumped. "Gestalt," she gasped.

The man tilted his head at her, curiously. "Those punk rockers? Definitely not. Two men and two women. None of them blonde. Though, one claims to be your sister. "

Myfanwy tried not to let the disappointment run too deep. Obviously, Gestalt couldn't come personally unless they wanted to wave a giant banner saying Myfanwy was there. Still, she couldn't deny she wanted to see them again.

The doctor was up again. He walked around the end of her bed and stared out the window. "I heard they were seeing someone. Scandalous affair what with all four of them caught up with the same woman."

Myfanwy moved up the bed to sit.

"Only half as scandalous as if everyone knew the truth about them."

Myfanwy's  knot returned. "What do you know about them?"

Those warm brown eyes landed on her again. She expected them to look dangerous, instead, he just looked sad. "Maybe more than you do. Maybe less."

It clicked then. Myfanwy scrambled out of her bed and met him at the window. "You're Ingrid's brother!" 

Those brown eyes grew so wide they could have popped out of his head. "Ingrid?"

"You're David. I know I'm right. You're Gestalt's Will."

It was the doctor's turn to be speechless. He took a step back from her.

"What are you doing here? Why haven't you told Ingrid you're alive?"

The doctor's eyes turned cold. "Don't you dare go near my sister."

Myfanwy crossed her arms. "Hard to do seeing as she's at my place most nights." The doctor didn't like that one bit. Myfanwy narrowed her eyes at him. "Every year for the past ten years I have gone with her to your grave on your birthday. I've watched her lay flowers on your grave. Held her as she sobbed. And you were here the whole time. A phone call away."

"She can't know. Nobody can know."

Myfanwy scowled. "Why not?"

His shoulders sagged. Myfanwy watched him drop heavily onto the hospital bed and put his head in his hands. "You think I'm here because I don't love them when it's the opposite. If I could, I'd be home with my family in a second. If I go  back I put them all in danger. The only one safe from anything the Vultures could do to me is me." He picked his head up and looked at her again. "And you, I suppose."

"You faked your death to protect them?"

David or Will or whoever he was now, stood and pinned her to the wall. "You can't tell them. Any of them. No one can know I'm alive."

Myfanwy let a spark bite into his hands just enough to make him let her go. "They'll know as soon as they see you."

The doctor smiled grimly. "Sorry. My shift just ended."

He flung her door open and disappeared down the hall. Myfanwy stood for a moment too long. She knew she should go after him. Force him to face his family. His past. But she hesitated. If he was telling the truth, she couldn't endanger the people she loved.

"Myfanwy!" Bronwyn launched herself into her arms. Myfanwy staggered backwards and hugged her sister back automatically. "What the hell are you doing in Poland?" She demanded, stepping back.

"Oh, sorry. Next time I'm abducted off the streets by Vultures I'll be sure to tell them to stay local."

Monica pulled her into a hug next. Myfanwy was surprised, but even more surprised to find herself returning the hug. It was brief. Marcus and Conrad stayed back with their hands in their pockets.

"I thought you said you were hurt?"

Myfanwy looked down. Her feet weren't bloodied anymore. Her head didn't hurt. She frowned before remembering Will's EVA. She forced a tight smile onto her face. "I got better."

She knew that dissatisfied look in Bronwyn's eye. Myfanwy looked around the group. "Alright, enough about me. Take me home or wherever you've stashed Gestalt."

Four sets of eyes dropped to the ground.

"What?"

Conrad cleared his throat. "We didn't know where you were. Or that it was Vultures that took you."

Myfanwy shrugged. "Okay?"

"We thought maybe you'd been taken to  Glengrove and there's only one way into Glengrove."

Myfanwy's heart sank. "No."

"We had a solid plan, but they have some powerful interference. Our comms shut off as soon as they went inside."

She turned and looked out the same window David William had looked out as he spoke about hers and Gestalt's relationship.

"Then take me to Glengrove."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like this chapter that much tbh. I feel like the David/Will reveal is a bit much. IDK.  
Thanks for reading!


End file.
